Ep 323: 40 Things I Haven’t Figured Out at 40 “A Special Birthday Episode with Hallie Bulkin”

Hello, friends, and welcome to episode 323 of the Untethered podcast. On the day that this releases, it will be my 40th birthday. And so I wanted to do a fun little episode, a little out of the ordinary. So hang with me here because we're gonna jump into the 40 things that I still don't have figured out at 40. And this. This one should be a fun one. Let's jump in. Welcome to the Untether podcast. I am your host, Holly Balkan. I'm a certified myofunctional therapist, feeding specialist, podcaster, business owner, and mentor. This podcast is all about getting your questions answered and collaborating with colleagues to bring you the most up to date information in the orofacial myofunctional therapy, airway tether, dural tissue, and pediatric feeding therapy space. If you're new here, I challenge you to keep an open mind and join my mission to spread this message far and wide. If you've been around since June 2019, thanks for being a loyal listener. As we jump into today's episode, remember to listen with correct oral rest posture, tongue up, lips closed, teeth apart, breathe through your nose. Let's get started. Quick disclaimer. All information, content and material of this podcast are the opinions of the speakers and is for the informational purpose only and not intended to serve as a substitute for the consultation, diagnosis, and or medical treatment of a qualified healthcare provider. So, you know, turning 40 is supposed to make you, I don't know, wiser and, like, yeah, I've learned a lot. But today, in the spirit of, like, honesty and fun and all things. My birthday, I just want to share the 40 things I still have not quite figured out at age 40, because, like, let's. Let's be real. We are all works in progress. All right, so this will be like a short, fun little episode today. So here we go. You ready? Numero uno. Number one, how to fold a fitted sheet. Anybody else with me? Like, I want to throw that thing across the room. I cannot fold a fitted sheet for my life. Am I alone in this? Tell me I'm not alone. Okay, number two. And these are, like, in no special order. I literally was making a list and I did not want to sit down and, like, start ordering things. So this is completely out of order based on things that just downloaded into my brain and welcome to my life and how I think of things. Number two. So number two is why I walk into a room and instantly forget why I'm there. And this, this is not just a 40 year old thing. Like, I feel like this has happened to me my entire life and anybody else with me. Number three, how to say no without, like, a little sprinkle of guilt. I've gotten really, really good at saying no and throwing up boundaries and everything, but occasionally there's like this little twinge of like, oh, but, like, I could just say yes, and maybe I should do that and, like, second guessing myself and I'm like, no, Hallie, no, no, no. So, like, just that little sprinkle of guilt, I would really like that to disappear in my next 40 years of life. Number four, the perfect work life balance. And listen, honestly, that is not something I think actually exists. So I'm going to give myself a little grace there. We could say we're still chasing it, but also, I now teach a lot of others how to have work life boundaries. So I'm going to just throw the balance out and write that off as something I haven't figured out because it doesn't exist. And we're going to call it boundaries instead because I feel like I've gotten really good with that. All right, this one's a big one, guys. Number five, how to keep houseplants alive longer than a month. Anybody have any tips on that? Like, I have the least green thumb out there. Yeah. Even outside where it rains here in South Florida. My husband and I, so we both work, we're both very, you know, successful professionals in our. In our rightful, you know, spaces. Respective spaces is probably the word I meant. Even outside, we're like, can you just put in the greenery that's gonna live no matter what the weather is down here in South Florida? Because we just again, had the landscaper come back out after we replaced all of our landscaping, I don't know, six months ago. And we were like, so this row of bushes that's supposed to be one of the easiest things to keep alive is dead. So help. Like, we need to. We need to replace this with something else better. Please and thank you. So it's not only that I can't keep them alive in the house, it's also outside, and that's the proper watering schedule. I don't know what it is. All right, number six, how to stop overthinking that awkward conversation from two weeks ago. Like, sometimes I. My ADHD brain just says something that I wish I could be. Like, ooh, could we rewind that? Because, like, I put my foot in my mouth, right? Like, I say something and then someone says something else, and I go, oh, yeah, okay, that was A little too much oversharing. That's a little awkward, right? I don't think anybody else puts this much effort into it or thinking into it other than me. So it's probably a thought in my mind and nobody else's, but there's that. All right, number seven, another big one. What to make for dinner every single night without wanting to, like, literally pull my hair out. Because I used to enjoy cooking once upon a time, and then I had kids and three businesses and I really, I really don't enjoy cooking. I like baking. Cooking. No, no. I always joke when I've make it, when I know I made it in life, when I have somebody cooking for me, like when I can hire a chef. So there's that. Right? Okay. How to pack for a trip is number eight. Because I am a major over packer. I don't understand how some of you pack enough for two weeks in a carry on. Like, somebody please teach me that. And it's not even that I need like five pairs of shoes anymore, because I've gotten better about that. Like just taking a couple pairs of shoes. But I don't understand how you're fitting two weeks worth of clothing into a small carry on. I really. I really don't get it. All right, number nine, Why I can never seem to drink enough water in a day as I sit here next to my almost full water bottle, which I normally have been really good at drinking, but it's still. It's 40 ounces. I can get through 40 ounces in a day, but like 60, 80, more than that. That's. That's a challenge for me. Um, number 10, how to gracefully leave a group text without offending anyone. Anybody else? I don't know. I just feel like I get added to all these group texts and chains and everything, and I'm like, oh, can we make a graceful exit? Cause I can't have my phone blowing up all day, every day, all the time. Okay, this one also is a big one. Number 11, how to consistently get eight hours of sleep or even seven. I feel like I get into really good grooves and then it falls apart again. And I know how important it is for my health. Hello. You know this whole podcast, right? But here we are. I'll take all the recommendations. Number 12, how to resist late night online shopping or doom scrolling on Instagram. Right? That's probably on this list somewhere. But anyhow, 13, how to fully unplug from work when on vacation, like, without popping in to just do like one little thing, you know? Oh, I Can do that. One little thing I told the team I would do. I can get really good at not doing anything or, like, kind of popping in and doing little things here and there. And I basically give myself permission to do those things. But, you know, once in a while, I should probably completely unplug, like, fully 100%. So there's that. Sometimes I have to leave the country to make that happen. Okay, 14, how to stick to a skincare routine for longer than two weeks. You guys. I don't know how you guys do it. I see all these accounts online. You're doing all the skincare. I have my, like, 1, 2, 4 step, different options. And like, just the past couple days, I'm like, I washed my face. I took my makeup off and washed my face with my oil cleanser and then put absolutely nothing else on after that. Like, what gives? Um, okay, this is a huge one. Huge, huge, huge. Number 15 is huge. How to keep my inbox at zero. Like, spoiler alert. I cannot. And honestly, I don't really try that hard. I do have programs. I can go in and, like, categorize emails and delete them all at once, especially if they're, like, junk. But still, inbox zero. Not a thing over here right now. Like, I'm in. I'm between three launches in a business in my one business and another launch in my other one. And. And I have 800 and, well, it was 66. It just went up to 879 emails as I opened this. And that's not even all the inboxes. Okay, what else do we have on this list here? How to keep up with every trend without feeling completely exhausted. Honestly, I think I've given up on this one, that one, that I've given up on that. So I haven't figured that out. Number 17 is how to slow down and truly just savor the moment. Like, without worrying about what is coming next. Going to work more on that in my. My 40th year. Number 18, you know, before I. A little disclaimer. I feel like I've gotten a lot better at this. But ever since my. My CEO has gone on maternity leave, I feel like this one has come back on full throttle. Like, how to let go of the need to control every little detail. Because there are certain aspects of my business where, like, I want to tweak things and I want things done exactly a certain way and I get really good at, like, if I hand something off to somebody and I fully step out of it, I'm really about, like, not Needing to control the details. But, like, someone goes on leave and I get, like, a little. A little bit of that responsibility back, and it's just like, across the board. Sorry, sorry to my team, if you guys are listening. Okay, 19. How to stop guilty. How to stop feeling guilty for resting. Right? Just like, literally just like, what do you guys call it these days? I'm an older millennial over here, so I. I think they call it couch rotting or something. I heard somebody say that recently, and then I saw it used on Instagram and I was like, oh, this is a term now. Couch. Ro. I think. Am I misusing it? I might be misusing it. But anyways, the point is how to feel. How to not feel guilty for that, right? Because I own three businesses and I'm a mom of two and a wife, and just all those responsibilities in life, right? Just being able to rest and not feel guilty about it and not have anybody around you make you feel guilty or. Not that you can make you feel guilty, but, like, not have them. You know, basically guilting you out of allowing yourself to be guilted out of resting. Right? Okay, 20. How to accept a compliment without awkwardly brushing it off. This is interesting. I am one of those people where when you compliment me, like, I get all the feels, but I'm also, like, that feels weird. Like, I like to give out the compliments. I have a hard time accepting them. So that. That would be something, right? Something to work on for sure. Okay, here's one. 21. How to pick a show on Netflix without spending an hour scrolling. Does anybody else do this? I feel like I go on Netflix. I'm like, unless I'm in the middle of something, like, deep in the middle of a show that has, like, multiple episodes, I will. And I don't even do Netflix all the time. Like, I do it once in a while. If I'm like, I need to turn my brain off, I need to lay down. Let me just watch a show so I can like, quiet everything and just kind of fall asleep, right? And so. And I can fall asleep without it. But it's nice to just kind of turn your brain off and shift gears before going to sleep sometimes. So when I do this, I will often just scroll and scroll and try to find something, and It'll be like 15 minutes. Honestly, I don't know why it takes so long. And then I somehow end up on Instagram and I'm doing the scrolling there, and then I'll go back to Netflix to find a show. It's probably because I'M going to look for like an influencer who often recommends shows and trying to see if she's recommended any shows lately. But then somehow I get into the doom scrolling instead. So that's usually an hour of my life I'm never going to get back. Okay. 22. This one drives my husband absolutely crazy. How to keep my phone battery from dying by like, I don't know, 5pm and I am on the Apple upgrade program, so I get a new phone every year so there's no reason that my phone should be dying by that time of the day. But like right now it's 3:30 in the afternoon and I'm on 48% so that's, that's not bad. Um, but yeah, he likes to keep his phone like fully charged and plugged in all at all times. So 48% would probably give him some heart palpitations. Okay. 23. How to remember everybody's birthday without like Facebook reminders or my team basically putting birthdays on the calendar that pop up in my face. I, I want to be good at this, you guys. I want to be like really, really good. And I put the reminders there. And for some reason I still find myself being like Happy Birthday yesterday or Happy Birthday at midnight of the day because honestly I don't always look at my calendar. There's that. So yes, I would like to be better at everybody's like remembering everybody's birthdays. Like I know my immediate family but you know, some of the other really important people in my life. I apologize because I promise your, your birthday is important to me and I'm going to do a better job on that. 24. How to stay patient in traffic or long lines. This also is a work in progress. I try to really dive into patience and. Hello Lily, who's running by? I'm recording a podcast. Would you like to say hello? Hi. Nothing's printed but wait until I'm done. Okay, thank you. Okay, so the lines, I'm working on that one. All right, 25. How to consistently prioritize my own self care. I'm honestly getting better about this as this podcast released today. I am actually going for like mani, pedi and massage to my favorite. I have a fun little Lily in the background here of this podcast episode to my favorite local spot. So I'm trying but it's self care is not just that. Right. It's also just like getting enough hours of sleep, drinking enough water, like doing some of these things that we've talked about. Like they're all part of the self care, you know, ritual, I guess you could call it that. I could really improve on 26. How to balance ambition with contentment. Like, once in a while it's good to just be content, content with where you're at. I also tend to be very ambitious, so having to remind myself, like, hey, this is what's on this, this calendar year's plans. And this is not. So, like, put it on the to do list for later and pump the brakes, girl. Sleep is important and not working 80 hours a week, right? 27. Okay, guys, this is a big one. And I'm laughing because I literally have a bunch of like sticky notes sitting in front of me with lists on them. But how to stay organized without making 10 different to do lists and then having to spend, I don't know, an hour condensing them into one or two to do lists. I have my, like, work to do list and my personal to do list. 28. How to eat. I don't know the right amount of veggies or any veggies at all every day. And also let's add in the protein too, because that's a lot. 29. How to not buy something just because it's on sale. That's something that I am also a work in progress on. Number 30, how to stop filling every spare moment with something productive. We don't always have to be productive. And I think I'm getting a little bit better at that. I'm trying to slow down in the mornings. There's this couch I really love in my sitting area. I've created this space in front of my big windows where the sun comes in in the morning. It's hot outside in South Florida, so I can sit on this couch inside of my air conditioning and still get the sun, look at some water and just breathe and take it all in. So I'm working on, I'm working on that, doing more of that and not letting that become like a two week thing that just falls by the wayside. Okay, number 31. How to trust the process and not rush the outcome. I constantly, like, my brain moves like literally a hundred miles a minute. And the team, I recognize the team only works so many hours a day. So trusting the process, trusting that everybody's working on what they got to work on, which I know they are. Like, deep down I know all of this, but not rushing the outcome. Because sometimes I'm like, just, let's just get this thing done. Let's just get, get this thing out there, right? And sometimes the rush of all of that kind of, you know, makes me want to move a little faster than is realistic. So working on that one. Okay, number 33. How to just continue laughing at myself and embracing the messy, beautiful work in progress that I am and constantly reminding myself that, like, yes, you're 40, yes, you're a mom of two, yes, you own three businesses. Yes, you're a wife, yes, you're all. You wear all these hats like you're a mentor, you're this, you're that, blah, blah, blah. But also, like, you're human. I am human. And I am a hot mess express over here. So work in progress. But I. I'm happy about that. Right. I'm going to embrace that. Number 34. Oh, gosh, guys, this one's a really big one. A really, really big one. This probably should have been number one on the list. How to keep track of all of the passwords. Seriously, like, how many apps does one person or business need? Why do we have so many passwords? I can't. My. My team will laugh when they hear this because I literally update passwords all the time because I lose them. Can'. And they're like, hallie, did you update the password to that again? I'm like, yes, yes, I did. So sorry. Here it is. Because not everything allows you to have multiple logins, like team logins, right? So sometimes there's like, one master password for something. And, well, I can be really a pain in the butt when it comes to that, so better job at tracking them, even though we have tracking apps. Okay, number 35. We got the last six here, right? Number 35, how to avoid feeling like I need to respond immediately to texts and emails. Now, I've gotten really good about the email. Emails are where, like, things go to die. So if you email me, you may never hear from me. Just gonna put that out there. DM me on Instagram or text me if you have my number. But the text messages, I really try to respond to them quickly because if I don't, I will be like, oh, my goodness, why do I have 12 saved messages? I'll go look at them. I'll be like, oh, this person messaged me five days ago. In my brain, I was like, I'm gonna respond to this later. I read it, I marked it on red because they didn't have time to respond now. And it's been like, almost a week. Oops. That happens. That happens with emails, too. Not gonna lie. Okay, number 36. Has anyone figured out how to make it through Target without, like, adding Just like one more thing to your cart, whether you're in the store or online. Like, how do you get out of Target spending any less than a hundred dollars? I'd love to know the secret there. Number 37, how to stop doubting myself when stepping into something new. Because even though many of you see me as a big personality and somebody who is very confident, right, Which I, I am sometimes when I'm doing something new, I still get the same feelings that you do. I still maybe doubt myself or second guess myself or kind of go like, like, what am I doing here? That's normal. It's human. And so I want to work on not doubting myself so much when stepping into something new because I know that that energy can also kind of like prevent me from bringing, you know, bringing it to the right people. Okay. 38 is how to keep a straight face when my kids ask like really awkward or I don't know, sometimes they seem like impossible to an answer questions. Also working on that one. That one's a little more fun. 39, how to plan a vacation more than two weeks in advance. Currently doing that right now. I literally have been trying to plan a vacation for the end of June. We're less than two months away now at this point. And I did try, I really tried to do this like months ago, but there were many reasons why it just has not worked out. I keep changing our destination. So yeah, I even tried to hire somebody. And so, well, it's. I, I'm just back to like, I can't make a decision and I'm changing things and, and, and so we're just gonna do it ourselves once again. But I also really like planning my own vacation, so I guess there's that. Okay, and then how, lastly, number 40, how to stay present without mentally jumping ahead to like the next five things on my to do list. I don't know if you guys are like that, but I'm always kind of thinking ahead and I have to focus really hard, especially having an ADHD brain to focus really hard on, like being in the present moment listening to what someone's saying. Me actually can hear what they're saying. Not just hear, but like I actually hear what they're saying. Right. So you can have a real conversation. So anyways, that was a really long list. This was meant to be a super short episode, but you know me, I can talk little longer than I thought it would be. But yeah, this is ultimately These are the 40 things, right, that, you know, I'm. I still haven't figured out. So for those of you who are like, wow, you are really successful in business and you've got it all together and this, that and the other. Because I hear it from you guys all the time, I thought it, it would be fun to kind of be like. So yeah, I might be 40 here, right? But I am far from having figured it all out. And honestly, I've learned that's okay. Right? That is where the growth happens. That's where the joy and the adventure lie. Like, that is. That's just part of being human. So if you're listening and you have not figured it all out either, like, welcome to the club. You are so not alone. So here's to just kind of laughing through the mess together, loving the journey that we're all on and, I don't know, living a little untethered in, in the, in the. What's the word I'm looking for? Not the nature, but in the spirit of this podcast. So happy birthday to me on the day that this airs. Yay. I am entering the world of 40. So all the tips, tricks you have and anything related to these things that I'm still figuring out. I, I invite all the feedback you can comment for watching it on the YouTube channel. Comment below the YouTube channel. If you're listening to it, pop over to Instagram at Holly Balkan and tell me your. Tell me your tips and tricks. That's all I've got for you guys today. I'll be back next week with a really fun episode from somebody who has a business. Actually two wonderful women who have a business that has a name similar to the name of this podcast. So if that gets you, gives you any hints, you're going to want to listen to this one. It's a good one. All right guys, have a great week. I am actually traveling to Nashville this week, so today's my birthday, the day that releases and I'm headed to Nashville for a in person mastermind. So I have a really fun week ahead and I hope you all do too. Talk soon. Thanks for listening to this podcast. If you found value in this episode and want to hear more of these Myotots, Airway and feeding related episodes, be sure to leave a review on Apple Podcasts and share this episode on your social media platforms. You can access free resources and all I offer@halibalkin.com or pop over to Hollybulcan on Instagram to get all the latest updates.