Ep 328: Travel Tips for Parents with Picky Eaters with Hallie Bulkin, MA, CCC-SLP, CMT®, CPFT™

Hello friends, and welcome to episode 328 of the Untethered Podcast. This is your host, Hallie Balkan, and I want to dive into a topic because as this episode actually releases, we are probably on an airplane flying to Europe. And it just got me thinking about how travel was not always the easiest when my my pickiest eater, my selective eater, was younger. Now she's almost 10. And we have become way more adventurous, especially when traveling. So that's a nice silver lining. But I want to jump in today and talk to you about really how to enjoy yourself on vacation. Because, you know, here's the thing. Traveling with a child who is picky or selective, sometimes we end up packing entire suitcases with snacks or we spend way too much time hunting down like the one brand of yogurt or the one thing the child will eat in a new city, right? So if that's you, this episode is for you. And professionals listen in too. Because I want you to understand if you don't have a child with picky or selective eating, even if you work with them, it'll help you understand a little bit more about how you can help your families have the best vacations away. Because these should be topics that we're talking about in our therapy sessions as well. So, okay, we're going to talk about realistic strategies, ways to encourage food exploration without battles, and spoiler alert why it's absolutely okay if you choose to bring that peanut butter and jelly sandwich everywhere. You want your purse in your travel bag for your own peace and sanity. So let's get into it. Welcome to the Untethered Podcast.

I am your host, Holly Balkan. I'm a certified myofunctional therapist, feeding specialist, podcaster, business owner and mentor. This podcast is all about getting your questions answered and collaborating with colleagues to bring you the most up to date information in the orofacial myofunctional therapy, airway.

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Okay, so I want to start with this. Obviously, maybe not so obvious, but a lot of children go through like a picky eating phase, right? And picky eating is different than selective eating, right? We've got children who kind of figure out like, oh, I've got autonomy, like, I can make my own decisions, I can choose that, I want this and I can refuse that. But they're still eating a very well rounded diet. They're not, there are no concerns, they're not struggling to chew and swallow their foods, right? And then we've got children who move more into the selective eating range where they are cutting foods down. There's 20 foods, then there's 15, then there's 10, then there's five. Right? And so traveling with a child who eats a very tiny selection of foods from very specific packaging or in very specific presentations, or from very specific people presenting, preparing it for them or restaurants even, that can be very disruptive, right? To everything. And so travel, while it's fun, can also be very disruptive to everything. Sleep, your schedules, routines and meal time. So, you know, I, I find from talking with parents and honestly from being this parent once upon a time that there's like this pressure when you're traveling to get your child to try new foods on vacation. Maybe you're going, I don't know, like, we're going to Italy. Maybe you're going to a new region where you're like, oh, my kid, my kid loves pizza and pasta and like, and chicken tenders and you know, whatever the foods are they eat, oh, this is going to be a breeze, right? And so you're like, we're going to try it here in a different country or in a different city or, you know, maybe somebody else's house. Maybe you're just going to the beach. Local, you know, semi local to you, whatever. But listen, like, if mealtimes are already stressful at home, travel can magnify that. And so I want to like give you a little permission slip here. It is okay to keep things simple regardless of where you're traveling. You are not failing your child if they're eating PB and J or just like dry pasta for the week. You're not ruining their relationship with food. What you're doing is keeping them safe. You're keeping them full, you're keeping them regulated. And my friends, that, in my opinion, matters more than checking every box on your foodie bucket list. My husband and I are foodies, but we just, you know, at one point in time it was more about like, let's enjoy our vacation. Let's all be happy, let's all have full bellies and not worry about these things this week, right? So if it's something that you think your family might enjoy and your child might enjoy, go for it. But if you feel like, you know what, this is going to be highly disruptive and we're going to, it's going to be a battle all week. Don't go for that. Let's table that for the week and enjoy vacation. Because vacation is a break from life, right? It's okay to take a little break. So I want to give you some, some strategies though, right? So we're going to talk about planning ahead. I'm going to give you some strategies. While traveling, we're going to deal with like the what ifs that come up, especially when I used to talk to a reframe on our goal, okay? Because we're not throwing everything away, but it's a little reframe on how we're actually, by doing these things, we're actually going to be supporting your child so that when you do return to everyday life and you return to, you know, your feeding therapy sessions and all the things, like, you're going to be right back on track. Okay? So, so let's dive into this further. So let's talk first about planning ahead. I want you to plan ahead, but I want you to stay flexible. Flexible is the name of the game here. So what are a few things that you can do to make your trip a little bit easier, make your life a little bit easier while traveling? Your snack stash. That snack stash, my friends, is sacred. Pack familiar snacks. Even it feels, if it feels excessive, you're doing it right. I'm not joking when I say I have a backpack of snacks for us when we travel. I and homeopathy too, because I'm holistic like that. But like it's basically my homeopathy and snack bag, my backpack. And here's the thing, like I think like bars, shelf stable milk boxes. I don't do the milk boxes anymore, but like dry, you know, dry foods and snacks that they like crackers, maybe even squeeze pouches. Like this is when you get the break from life. You get to take all the things, okay, Having these things on hand and I can tell you like at this point my kids are almost 10 and 7 and then there's me. My 7 year old and I are gluten free. We eat gluten in Europe, but when we're in the US we don't and my 10 year old is becoming more. More of an explorer, if you will, a little more adventurous. And then there's my husband who eats, like almost. He says he eats almost everything, but I think he's a little pickier than he realizes. So I will go into our pantry and I will take. I will pack us each a bag. And I used to just do like a commute, like two communal bags and put them in my backpack. I have the communal bag. I also make separate bags for my kids, and they each get their own bag that goes in their own backpack. So when they're hungry and I help them, I involve them in doing this. So part of our planning ahead is like, let's make sure that the pantry is stocked. Even though we're going on vacation, These are shelf stable things. So it's fine, right? It'll be there when we get back. Which is great because coming back to an empty, empty, you know, pantry and fridge is like, let's at least have some food in the pantry. We'll order stuff, you know, for delivery when we get back for the. The fridge. But what I found was when my kids are involved in this, they have their own bags and they've got the communal bag as backup. Like, everybody's okay. And we can prevent, like, hangry meltdowns. And it allows me to just, like, you know, have the things on backup so that if we do want to try something new and we don't like it, that's fine. You tried something new. Hey, you know what? We've got our bag of snacks here. Like, no one's going hungry. Because the worst thing when traveling, in my opinion, when you're on the plane or you're getting on a plane, is someone's like, mama, I'm hungry. Great. I offered you, like, we just ate 30 minutes ago, or I offered you a snack and you didn't want anything, and now we're literally boarding the plane. Right? So having those snacks that you know, are. Are, like, safe, like, that is. It's just a really good way to take up time on an airplane. But two, also to make sure your child stays happy. So that's snack stash that, my friends, is like, probably the most important tip I can give you. Okay. The second thing is when we plan so we will go and see, like, oh, there's all these different restaurants that people recommend you eat. And I will research the menus in advance, and I highly recommend you do that, too. Use Google Maps or Yelp. You can pull up restaurant menus near like where you're staying or places that people recommend and make sure that there's at least one thing on that menu that you're like, okay, that's safe for my kid. Like, they will eat that. Or I know that, like, we can just ask them to leave the sauce off. Like, they can have plain pasta. Whatever the case may be, I make sure there's at least one thing on the menu that that they find is safe. Then, you know, you might pack a travel meal kit. I don't have to do this anymore. When my kids were little, I brought their meals to restaurants with me. And so when we were traveling, that was a little trickier. But so I would just like, honestly bring them bars and pouches and snacks and all the things. I just saw an influencer that I follow. She is in Japan right now and has three small kids. And she basically asked them to like, like, she had her travel planner have white bread delivered to their hotel room. And then she brought peanut butter and jelly that she knows her kids like, with her. And every morning she makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to take with her for the day for the kids. And I'm like, that's so sweet, Smart. Like, how much easier is it to be able to whip something out of your bag when your kid is hungry and hand it to them than like, having to race around? And I've done this. I've done this in European countries where I'm like, we're all hungry. There's like one night I left open for dinner or exhausted. Plan, please plan ahead. Research your menus and plan ahead. Don't leave things open for like, oh, maybe we'll just stop here and try and go to this place when I. Whenever that happens, like, we somehow always end up with pizza, which is fine, especially in Italy, but number one, number two, it always seems to be that we can't find the pizza place nearby where we are for whatever reason. Or number three, they're close. The one we plan to go to is not open. And I actually, you know, didn't check that ahead of time. Now I've learned my lesson. I don't do that anymore. But if your kids are little, little and you feel like this would be helpful, like packing that travel meal kit, like, depending on your kids needs, it might even include like a small divided plate utensils that they're familiar with, maybe one cup that they're used to drinking out of. Because sometimes it's even the presentation that makes the difference. If you can like, break that out and cut up Some food and put it on their plate and they can use their utensil and they've got their little cup. I'm telling you, for some kids, that makes all the difference. And you'll know, you'll know if, like, your kid needs something like that. This is permission to bring that with you in a little Ziploc bag, stick it in your backpack, right? Like, it's so much easier to have that and bring extra plastic bags so you can put it in the plastic bag when it's dirty, go back to your hotel and wash it, put it in a new bag for the next day, right? Like, there's certain little tricks and tips that are just make your life so much easier. Okay? Then the other thing is, like, you know, maybe you do set expectations before you leave. Maybe you talk to your kid, depending on their age, depending on their understanding about the trip, about the food, and you say things like, you know what? We might see new foods. And that's, that's okay. You don't have to eat them, but maybe you want to try, maybe you don't. Like, we'll check it out when we're there. Like, you're welcome to look, touch, smell it if you want. You know, we're gonna explore it. But also like, no worries if they know that you're never gonna force them to eat anything. Like, you don't even have to really explain it in depth. You just have to say, like, hey, we're gonna be trying some new foods. I just wanna let you know, you don't like them, you don't wanna interact with them, that's okay. But if you do want to, like, maybe look, touch, smell, whatever, right? So I think again, it's just all about knowing your child and knowing, like, what's gonna prep them the best because. Okay, so that's kind of your strategy now, strategies while traveling, let's keep mealtime stress, like, down when you're on the road, right? When you're traveling, keep it down. So honoring comfort foods, like having that go to meal, like I mentioned the PB and J or the pasta or their, their nuggets that they love, whatever it is. Like that, my friends, is a tool, not a crutch. This is a tool when you're on vacation because it's going to help your child be more regulated and they're going to enjoy the rest of the day. And that is our goal here. That is a win. Okay? You can have a try it plate if you want. When you're in restaurants or wherever you are, if you feel like your child's open to exploring. And it's sort of like that no pressure thing, right? It's like, it's that that little plate is separate from their regular plate, right? They've got their perf, their preferred food on their regular plate. You've got that, that, you know, new plate on the side and it's sort of like, you know, hey, I wonder what this cheese tastes like. Like we're in Italy, maybe cheese tastes a little different. You know, they like cheese normally. Let's try Italy. And just kind of keeping your tone super light, super casual, nonchalant, like, no big deal, because they may be like, oh, yeah, I want to try cheese in Italy. And let me tell you, this is how my girls ended up loving at 5 and 7, loved Parmigiano Reggiano. Like, my kids will eat it straight from the block now. And honestly, it's healthier than a lot of protein bars out there. It carries more protein. It has a better like protein fat balance. Just, you know, learned that recently. But they learned that. And what was really cool is we did a tour in a dairy farm and they saw how it was made and then they got to go taste it. And so it was sort of like prepping them and nobody was forcing them to taste anything. There were certain ones that they liked because they're different aged, you know, age 12 months, 20, 24 months, whatever. And so they each decided like one of them, like the 12 month one, one of them, like the 24 month aged, you know, Parmigiano Reggiano. So it's again, it's, we're going this time on our trip. We're going to go to a region where pecorino cheese is, is the cheese and like, well, that comes from sheep's milk. The other one came from cow's milk. I don't know how they're going to react. I don't know if they're going to like it. But we're going to just kind of have the like, well, let's, let's try it if you're in the mood and see what this cheese tastes like, right? And the other thing too is like modeling curiosity. So letting the child see you try it and react with curiosity. So like, I'll try the Pecorino and be like, oh, that's interesting. Okay, this tastes different than Parmigiano Reggiano, but I like it, you know, and just kind of demonstrating like, you know, hey, do you want to smell it? Like, what do you think? Do you think this Smells like the cheese that you usually eat or a little different. Like, how does it smell? You know, just having that conversation or like, you know, oh, this soup. This soup tastes like it has lemon in it. I've never had lemon in my soup before. Like, smells good. Do you want to smell this? Right? It's just, like, very nonchalant, like, being curious about it, you know, and seeing how they react. And then the last thing you can do is, like, we've played, like, the food tourist game, right? So we've done scavenger hunts, and we've done, you know, little, like, challenges and, like, little fun things where, you know, you could turn it into a scavenger hunt or a passport challenge or whatever. And you try to, like, kind of spot or sample a food from, like, each place you're going. Because even just, like, spotting them, right? Maybe not tasting them, but spotting them, looking at the new foods, right? Or if they're willing to take a single bite. You earn a stamp, right? So maybe you earn a stamp for looking at the food and spotting that food. It's kind of like I spy, right? Or whatever games you want to play. So you make a game out of it, and maybe sometimes they spot it, maybe sometimes they. They sample it. You get to decide, right? But make it so that the game is fun and your child's getting rewarded for whichever one they decide to do. Spot it or sample it, okay? And maybe sometimes they spot, maybe sometimes they sample. You get to make the rules here, but do do it based on your child and what you think is going to be fun, and it's going to keep their nervous system centered and not, like, freaking out that mom is, like, expecting me to try some new foods that I've never seen before, and we're seeing them for the first time, and they smell weird, and I'm in the mirror country, and I don't like. This is just a lot of newness, and I'm not ready for this, right? So just, like, remember what your child may be experiencing and read the room. Read the room. Okay, so now, like, let's deal with the what ifs. What if your child refuses everything? What if you feel judged? What if your travel companions don't get it? Like, let's say you're traveling with family. That's not the immediate family. You're traveling with friends. So here's the truth. You, my friends, are the expert on your child. Your job is to advocate for their needs even when other people don't understand. And so if that means bringing that packed Lunch to a Michelin star restaurant while everybody is ordering the tasting menu, so be it. Even if that means, like, you got the PB and J coming out of your purse and people are like, staring at you like, what are you doing, lady? Who cares, right? If your child ends up surviving on granola bars and fruit all week, that, my friends, is survivable. Like, you can do it when you get home, you can return to your routines and continue the feeding journey from there. Because let me tell you, like, we, no joke, we'll eat our way through lots of different places that we travel to. And it's definitely not balanced meals all the time. Like, half the time we'll be like, oh, we probably. We haven't had a vegetable in like five meals or in a few days. Like, we probably should give the kids some, like, green beans so they, like, they continue to go to the bathroom. You know, it's like half the time we're like, oh, oops, yeah, we haven't really had any greens. Or we haven't really had. And listen, like, that's life. So why are we going to make things more challenging for our child who struggles with feeding and exploring new foods? Normally, let's make life easy for all of us and remember, like, what this is about. Family time, vacation, getting away from life for a little bit and connect. Right? Travel is about connection, exploration, making memories. And so. And food is part of that. Yes, but it's not the whole story. So let it be easy for you and your child, okay? And just look, let's reframe all of this and kind of wrap this up with a pretty bow. I want you to remember this because I was just kind of saying this, but, like, let's wrap it up in a. In a pretty bow. Like I said, the goal of eating on vacation is not perfect nutrition or even gourmet exploration. It is for some people, but for your child and for you, it may be helping your child feel safe around food. It may be supporting their regulations so they can enjoy the experience and the trip. Right? And they're not fully focused on new foods all the time. And also on, like, planting the seed for future exploration, even if your child is not sprouting into that right now. To be honest with you, traveling is actually. And because I had zero expectations around Lily trying new foods. She. She was more interested in trying new foods because we were in a really. Everyone was laid back. We weren't in the daily hustle and bustle. She was very regulated. We were very regulated. And she was kind of like, what's that? And I was like, do you want to try it? Okay. And I think she tried. She tried something with mushrooms. Determined she loved mushrooms. She tried something with parmigiano. Reggiano. Determined she loved parmesan cheese. And this is just kind of how it's happened with her. She recently discovered she likes balsamic vinaigrette and also likes balsamic vinegar. So we are going to support that. And because of that, we're going to go to Modena on our trip, and we're going to go do a balsamic vinegar tasting. And. And listen, she made hate most of them. She may only like the ones we have here at home, and that's okay. But she is so excited about it, and we're so excited about it. I will tell you that, like, traveling to Europe has probably been one of the best things for my kid, and just traveling in general, one of the best things for my picky eater. Because everybody is so, like, laid back and regulated, and we're not forcing things. She does actually become more of an adventurous eater. Now, that night might not be the case for everybody, so I don't want to get your hopes up, but just being able to say, like, you know, letting her know she can say no, thanks, or, like, maybe later or, you know, whatever. Every single experience for her, every bite, every smell, every touch, right? Was just another step forward. And the last time we were in Italy, a couple years ago, she started. She found out that she loved chicken schnitzel, right? She loved chicken that was cooked very thin and that was, like, had a very thin, light breading around it or like a panko even, and came home asking, like, my mom to, like, make more chicken schnitzel, because she knew my mom, mom made it, but she never would eat it before, so that was a big win. In that same trip, she discovered she liked mushroom risotto, and she allowed us to order the mushroom risotto that also had asparagus in it off the menu and just take the asparagus out. Another huge win. Like, brand new food, Mixing foods together, allowing us to take a food out that she doesn't like, instead of having it made completely without the asparagus in it, which was not possible because the restaurant didn't offer that. Right? And so, again, just be open, be open. Okay? So whether you're heading to a theme park, a national park, or you're heading across the ocean to another country this summer, I want you to know this. You're going to bring the snacks you're going to offer new things, but you're going to keep it light and you're going to celebrate the little wins. And just remember to enjoy yourself. Like that's what vacation is supposed to be all about. There's enough craziness happening when you have vacation. You don't need to add this to your load. Okay, so thank you for tuning into this episode. If you found this helpful, I want you to share it with a fellow parent who is packing for a picky eater and getting ready to travel and leave a review if you love the show. Until next time, happy travels, happy feeding and we'll be back next week.

Thanks for listening to this podcast. If you found value in this episode and want to hear more of these Myotots, Airway and Feeding related episodes, be sure to leave a review on Apple Podcasts and share this episode on your social media platforms. You can access free resources and all I offer@halibalkin.com or pop over to hollybulcan on Instagram to get all the latest updates.