Real Stories & Family Journeys

Do you think that the way that you talk changed after you got your appliance? Like your speech sounds like right after they put it in? Yes.

Like the second after?

Yes. Like for a couple of days.

Yeah.

And constantly reminding myself that like, yes, you're 40. Yes, you're a mom of 2. Yes, you own 3 businesses. Yes, you're a wife. Yes, you're all— you wear all these hats like you're a mentor, you're this, you're that, blah, blah, blah. But also like you're human.

My biggest advice is to learn about feeding your baby before they come. You will never regret that, whether or not you have feeding issues or not, you will never regret it. And two, find providers in your area like a lactation consultant or a speech therapist who does feeding or an occupational therapist who does feeding.

Hello friends, this is your host Hallie Bulkin. I have my two daughters joining me on this episode that you're about to hear, my 9-year-old Lily and my 7-year-old Mia. So they're gonna join me, we're gonna jump in, dive into their expansion journey. You're gonna hear straight from the mouths, their mouths. We've done episodes like this before, but it's been a while because they're in a new expander now and they're a bit older, so they can talk about it in a very different way. So listen in, hear what they have to say. And if you have a child who's, whether it's a child you work with or it's your own child who is going through expansion, this may be an episode that might be helpful to share with them. If your kids have questions, you're always free to reach out to me at @HallieBulkin and I will ask my children for you and you can get a message back from them to your child if you so desire. They wanna help other children understand what it's like and it's not all rainbows and unicorns over here. Take a listen, maybe listen before you share with your child. A little cautionary tale. No, it's mostly all good things, but they're sharing the real real here. So let's jump in. Today, if you're watching on YouTube, you can see that I have my daughters Lily and Mia with me. And Lily's 9 and a half years old. She'll be 10 in August. Mia just turned 7 in February. Say hello.

Hi.

Hi.

That's all right.

Appliances are not fun.

Appliances are not fun. Well, that's a not fun fact. So that's okay. And that's what we're going to talk about, right? Okay, so they're here to talk about their experience with their appliances. We have worked with some incredible airway dentists, now we're with an airway ortho. And so big shout out to Lily's airway dentist in Maryland, Dr. Jennifer Tipograf, who is my co-author and creator of our TOTS series books for kids, which are coming out soon. So keep your eyes, ears peeled for that, more information on that. Lily had an ALF appliance, an upper ALF appliance, back when we lived in Maryland for about a year, and we got some really great expansion. We knew she would need more expansion down the road as she continued to grow. So when we moved here to South Florida, we were going to Dr. Miriam Barahill in North Miami, who was amazing. And both girls at that point went into rapid palatal expansion with like a Hyrax, but it was customized, so I had a forward growth component added to it. They also had those appliances on the bottom jaw, on their lower jaw as well, and we got some expansion there. We weren't sure if Lily would need more at that point, but we knew Mia was going to need another round of expansion. And so it's been maybe a year and a half since you guys got those out. Okay, so let's jump in to what is in your mouth. The idea is to grow the palate on 3 planes, which has always been our goal with all of the expansion appliances that we've had. And then you have the removable lower expander through Invisalign, right? So why are we doing this? Well, expansion, like, we— our goal is to make more space for the teeth. Our jaws to grow. And so Lily, this is your— how many times have you had expansion?

3?

Yeah, this is her third time doing expansion. And it's basically helping to grow her jaw. And when we can expand the jaw, it helps us breathe easier, opens the airway. So I hear Mia coming back. So we know that this is Mia's second time being in expansion. And I think Mia, it's been really helpful to have your jaw expanded because she actually was a kiddo who had chronic croup, and 9 times as a 3-year-old. And so that's why we went into a more rapid expansion with her from the get-go instead of slow expansion, because we were kind of in an airway crisis with her. But I want you guys to tell them, what do you have to do every single night right now? Yeah, so we have a little key and we have to turn the appliance. And Mia, do you like the key turning?

I hate it.

You hate it.

No, on the second night, you turned and it hurt so bad I cried.

Yeah, that happens sometimes. And because it's, it's pressure, right? It's not so much pain, but there's like a lot of pressure, right? And you guys were like, oh, my nose, my face in the beginning, right? As it was putting pressure on your palate, and your palate is connected to the floor of your nose, which is connected through the bones that are all around this part of your face, the midface. So If your appliance had a name or a superpower, what would it be? Have we named our appliances?

I think mine would be Mia Junior.

Mia Junior. Okay. Lily, how about you?

It would be the horrible pink appliance.

So no superpowers?

Yeah. Yeah, mine has a superpower. Mine's superpower is to expand.

To expand your mouth. How about you, Mia?

Can I have two?

Sure.

To expand my mouth and to not hurt.

Got it. So what's the hardest part, do you guys think, about doing expansion? Even you can think about the Invisalign too. Yes, Lily.

For the Invisalign, it would be like keeping track of it and making sure you don't lose it and making sure you have the case and putting it in the case. And for the, the pink thing. Yeah, for the expander. Eating and having to pick food out of it.

Yeah, we do that after like every meal when you're at home, right?

Yeah.

Mia, how about you? What is—

because like the toothpicks are minty flavored and our food tastes like—

yeah.

Is that the hardest part for you too? Like food gets stuck? No. What's the hardest part? So for this, uh, you can just pick the thing that's the hardest for you. It doesn't have to be for both appliances, maybe just one thing in general.

The top one.

Do you want to think about it?

Not eating certain foods. So yummy.

Oh, yeah. Things that are, like, really chewy and sticky right now.

Yeah.

Yeah. I have another question. Let's talk about what it's like, like, day to day a little bit more.

Okay.

Because I bet you there's other people who are wondering, like, certain things about the appliances. So, like, how do you eat with the appliance in? Like, do you— because you can't take the top one out. Do you take the bottom one out? Like, you talked a little bit about how food gets stuck. Like, Lily, what is eating like for you?

I like to take out the Invisalign when I eat because it just feels like you're eating with plastic teeth. And I just, I feel like I can eat quicker and easier without the Invisalign in. And also, let's say like I was chewing on only this side, then food would basically only get stuck on this side of the appliance.

And it's like, on the side you chew on.

Yeah. On the side parts, I can like put my tongue in it and feel if there's food there or not.

Yeah, and so that's when we get used like the, the picks sometimes to help like clear out the food from that particular area. But what's interesting too is that sometimes it gets stuck between the appliance and your palate, right, in the top of your mouth, roof of your mouth, and that, that can be the hardest to clean up because the appliance is kind of now like up against the roof of your mouth since it's coming down a little bit. So how do you eat with the appliance?

I only take my— I don't take my Invisalign out if I'm at school, but I do if I'm at home. Or like, yeah.

So you can eat with it in?

Does it feel funny?

Uh, not really.

You're used to it now?

Yeah.

But when I'm chewing like the bagels, it like feels weird because they're really soft.

Yeah, so she's like chewing like a soft cheese or something, it might feel weird. And sometimes if the food— does it get— does it get stuck in the Invisalign when you're chewing with it in your mouth? Or only if you like eat and then put it back in?

Does food get stuck?

Usually only if I'm eating with it in.

Got it.

Okay. Yes, Lily, you want to tell something?

Yeah, I remembered what I was gonna say. Like, usually when you turn our appliances, like the next morning, there's like one side with a few teeth that hurt and then the other side is completely fine. So like, I had to get— I usually just chew on this side and I had to get used to chewing on this side. And now, like, I only chew on this side.

Well, you're supposed to be chewing on both sides.

We're gonna have to do—

but like, when you're sore, I understand.

This, like, changed to my normal side.

And it used to be this?

Yeah.

Interesting.

You didn't tell me that.

Yes, Mia?

The only reason we're doing this podcast is because today, um, it's Take Your Child to Work Day.

Well, that and I was like, we should do an update because you guys are 3 weeks into appliance, right? We have two more— you've got two more weeks of turning the appliance and then we get to stop and it just kind of hangs in your mouth until August. So we will stop turning the appliance probably the second week of May or like actually to be the first week of May. I think May 5th might be the last day we turn the appliance. We're recording this on April 24th, but you guys won't hear this for maybe, I don't know, four weeks from us recording this by the time it goes out. So then, like we said, you're going to get Invisalign on top to close the gaps in your teeth. And so you'll have Invisalign in August, upper and lower, going forward until you're done with that. So, so yeah, I want to know before we wrap up, we talked about the foods that we avoid, like sticky foods and really super chewy things. But there's something else, like there's a, there's a tip that you can give people that have this appliance. You talked about cleaning out your appliance by using the little picks, but What else do you really, really like that helps you clean out your appliance, Lily?

The Waterpik. It gets a lot of food out, but Papa says that Mia's— when Mia does it, she doesn't get a lot of food out. But when I do it, like, it gets a lot of food out. It really helps.

Yeah, she really— so hold on really quick before we move on. I think it's interesting because I think, Lily, you get a lot more food stuck in yours than Mia does. I think hers might be closer to the roof of her mouth and she's not getting as much stuff. Stuck. So I think you're getting more stuck because of just the shape of your palate and how, how things are expanding. And so that might be why. But yes, they make Waterpiks for children. And so we got each of them their own, and they're phenomenal and so great to have because sometimes you can't really get up there. You don't want to scratch the palate or anything or hurt the top of your mouth. So the Waterpik makes it really nice to like clear that, that area out. Yes, Mia.

Speaking of wrapping things up, maybe we should wrap Gary up and give him as a present to, um, who's coming later?

Oh, we have friends coming later. We're not doing that. Relax. You are so silly. Okay, wait, but I have another question. Do you think that the way that you talk changed after you got your appliance? Like your speech sounds?

Like right after they put it in?

Yes.

Like the second after?

Yes. Like for a couple days?

Yes. Yeah. You sound like Someone from Sam and Cat.

From Sam and Cat?

Yeah, because my friends were like, Lily, you sound different. And I was like, I know.

Yeah, even some of your S's and some sounds sound like they're still a little hard to make. And that's what happens sometimes when you have a big thing blocking part of your mouth. I'm not worried about it. You guys will be fine. But it definitely can change your speech a little bit. So in the beginning— Mia. Yes.

Spanish. Either I can't like stick my tongue up to do the thing, like, oh, to suck in your tongue. Yeah.

Yeah, because there's something blocking it. So do you think it would be easy or hard to do mayo while you have your appliances in?

Hard.

Hard. Yes.

I want to show them the gap between my teeth.

Okay, well, they can see it. Smile. Yeah, smile so they can see it on the screen if they're watching on YouTube. Yes, guys, I highly recommend you go and see this on YouTube. They're showing you Nice. Do you guys want to take the Invisalign out and show them that too? Oh yeah.

A little green for me. It's okay.

You don't have to take this out. So they ended up— they end up changing theirs every— yeah, Mia's is— oh, it's not in the camera.

There you go.

So Mia's gets discolored even though we're brushing it because she eats with it in. But we do change it out every— it was every Monday. So we need to clean it. You ate breakfast with it in. I can't understand what you're saying. And she cleaned it already this morning. It's okay. Take it out if it's not working right now. So we clean it every morning and every night. How are you guys feeling now? I know, Lily, you're super excited when this all started, and then you were not happy after you came home. How do you feel now?

Well, at first I was excited because I thought it would be cool. Plus, we would get to pick our colors and when we got other appliances, we didn't get to pick colors. And then once I got it, I was miserable, miserable, and I wanted to like rip it out of my mouth. And now, like, it takes like a few weeks to get used to it. But like, once you like get used to it, it's like you don't even notice it there when you're like chewing or like talking.

Got it.

Mia, how about you?

Since it's been a long time, when I'm eating lunch at school, it— I don't really notice it there because I'm talking to my friends.

Yeah.

Would you—

do you have any, like, anything you'd want to tell somebody who might be getting an expander?

Beware, it hurts, and don't get too excited.

But aren't you excited to breathe better and sleep better and not get sick as often and have a, have a nice smile, right? Because it's going to expand you. Lily, is there anything that you would tell anybody that was getting an expander, a kid?

I would tell them that just beware, your teeth are gonna split and it's gonna make you look really ugly. But then you'll be fine after.

Topsy.

It makes me look ugly.

You do not look ugly.

I do. You look ugly.

Aw, listen to your sister.

She said you look beautiful and I'm beautiful. You are both beautiful. So they have a gap in their teeth, which is also not what happens with all expanders. That's why it's really important to go to an airway-centric orthodontist or dentist who knows what they're doing so that you actually get the expansion. We want to grow the palate, the bone, like at the suture line, not just push and flare the teeth. So anyways, that's all we've got. Let's thank everybody for joining us today. We're going to jump into the 40 things that I still don't have figured out at 40. And this, this one should be a fun one. Let's jump in. So turning 40 is supposed to make you, I don't know, wiser. And like, yeah, I've learned a lot. But today, in the spirit of like honesty and fun and all things my birthday, I just want to share the 40 things I still have not quite figured out at age 40. Because like, let's, let's be real, we are all works in progress. All right, so this will be like a short, fun little episode today. So here we go. You ready? Numero uno, number one. How to fold a fitted sheet. Anybody else with me? Like, I want to throw that thing across the room. I cannot fold a fitted sheet for my life. Am I alone in this? Tell me I'm not alone. Okay. Number 2, and these are like in no special order. I literally was making a list and I did not want to sit down and like start ordering things. So this is completely out of order based on things that just downloaded into my brain and welcome to my life and how I think of things.

Number 2.

So number 2 is why I walk into a room and instantly forget why I'm there. And this is not just a 40-year-old thing. Like, I feel like this has happened to me my entire life. Y'all with me? Number 3, how to say no without like a little sprinkle of guilt. I've gotten really, really good at saying no and throwing up boundaries and everything. But occasionally there's like this little twinge of like, oh, but like I could just say yes and maybe I should do that and like second-guessing myself. And I'm like, no, Hallie, no, no, no. So like just that little sprinkle of guilt, I would really like that to disappear in my next 40 years of life. Number 4, the perfect work-life balance. And listen, honestly, that is not something I think actually exists. So I'm going to give myself a little grace there. Um, we could say we're still chasing it, but also I now teach a lot of others like how to have work-life boundaries. So I'm going to just throw the balance out and write that off as something I haven't figured out because it doesn't exist. And we're going to call it boundaries instead because I feel like I've gotten really good with that. All right. This one's a big one, guys. Number 5, how to keep houseplants alive longer than a month. Anybody have any tips on that? Like, I have the least green thumb out there. Yeah, even outside where it rains here in South Florida. My husband and I, so we both work, we're both very proper watering schedule. I don't know what it is. All right, number 6, how to stop overthinking that awkward conversation from 2 weeks ago. Like, sometimes I, my ADHD brain just says something that I wish I could be like, ooh, could we rewind that? Because like, I put my foot in my mouth, right? Like, I say something and someone says something else and I go, oh yeah, okay, that was a little too much oversharing. That's a little awkward, right? I don't think anybody else puts this much effort into it or thinking into it other than me. So it's probably a thought in my mind and nobody else's, but there's that. All right, number 7, another big one. What to make for dinner every single night without wanting to like literally pull my hair out. Because I, I used to enjoy cooking once upon a time and then I had kids and 3 businesses and I really I really don't enjoy cooking, so there's that, right? Okay, how to pack for a trip is number 8, because I am a major overpacker. I don't understand how some of you pack enough for 2 weeks in a carry-on. Like, somebody please teach me that. I don't understand how you're fitting 2 weeks worth of clothing into a small carry-on. I really, I really don't get it. All right, number 9: why I can never seem to drink enough water in a day, as I sit here next to my almost full water bottle, which I normally have been really good at drinking, but Still, it's 40 ounces. I can get through 40 ounces in a day, but like 60, 80, more than that, that's a challenge for me. Number 10, how to gracefully leave a group text without offending anyone. Okay, this one also is a big one. Number 11, how to consistently get 8 hours of sleep or even 7. I feel like I get into really good grooves and then it falls apart again. And I know how important it is for my health. Hello, this whole podcast, right? But here we are. I'll take all the recommendations. Number 12, how to resist late night online shopping or doom scrolling on Instagram, right? That's probably on this list somewhere, but anywho. 13, how to fully unplug from work when on vacation, like without popping in to just do like one little thing. Oh, I can do that one little thing I told the team I would do. I can get really good at not doing anything or at like kind of popping in and doing little things here and there. And I basically give myself permission to do those things. But once in a while I should probably completely unplug, like fully 100%. Okay. 14, how to stick to a skincare routine for longer than 2 weeks. Okay. This is a huge one. Huge, huge, huge. Number 15 is huge. How to keep my inbox at zero. Like, spoiler alert, I cannot. And honestly, I don't really try that hard. I do have programs where I can go in and like categorize emails and delete them all at once, especially if they're like junk, but still inbox zero, not a thing over here right now. Like I'm in, I'm between 3 launches in a business, in my one business and another launch in my other one. And I have 800 and, well, it was 66. It just went up to 879 emails as I opened this. And that's not even all the inboxes. Okay. What else do we have on this list here? How to keep up with every trend without feeling completely exhausted. Honestly, I think I've given up on this one. So I haven't figured that out. Number 17 is how to slow down. And truly just savor the moment, like without worrying about what is coming next. I'm going to work more on that in my, my 40th year. Number 18, like how to let go of the need to control every little detail because there are certain aspects of my business where like I want to tweak things and I want things done exactly a certain way. And I get really good at like if I hand something off to somebody and I fully step out of it, I'm really good about like not needing to control the details, but like Okay, 19. How to stop guilty— how to stop feeling guilty for resting, right? Just like literally just like, what do you guys call it these days? I'm an older millennial over here, so I think they call it couch rotting or something. I heard somebody say that recently and then I saw it used on Instagram and I was like, oh, this is a term now, couch rotting. How to feel— how to not feel guilty for that, right? Because I own 3 businesses and I'm a mom of 2 and a wife and just all those responsibilities in life, right? Just being able to rest and not feel guilty about it, right? Okay. 20. How to accept a compliment without awkwardly brushing it off. This is interesting. I am one of those people where when you compliment me, like, I get all the feels, but I'm also like, that feels weird. Like, I like to give out the compliments. I have a hard time accepting them. So that, that would be something, right? Something to work on for sure. Okay. Here's one. 21. How to pick a show on Netflix without spending an hour scrolling. Okay. 22. This one drives my husband absolutely crazy. How to keep my phone battery from dying by like, I don't know, 5 PM. Okay. 23. How to remember everybody's birthday without like Facebook reminders or my team basically putting birthdays on the calendar that pop up in my face. I, I want to be good at this, you guys. I want to be like really, really good. And I put the reminders there. And for some reason I still find myself being like, happy birthday yesterday or happy birthday at midnight of the day. Cause Honestly, I don't always look at my calendar. 24, how to stay patient in traffic or long lines. This also is a work in progress. I tried to really dive into patience and— hello, Lily, who's running by. I'm recording a podcast. Would you like to say hello? Nothing's printed, but wait until I'm done. Okay. Thank you. Okay. So the lines, I'm working on that one. All right. 25, how to consistently prioritize my own self-care. I'm honestly getting better about this. As this podcast released today, I am actually going for like mani, pedi, and massage to my favorite— I have a fun little lily in the background here of this podcast episode— to my favorite local spa. So I'm trying, but it's self-care is not just that, right? It's also just like getting enough hours of sleep, drinking enough water, like doing some of these things that we've talked about. Like they're all part of the self-care ritual, I guess you could call it, that I could really improve on. 26, how to balance ambition with contentment. Like, once in a while, it's good to just be content, content with where you're at. I also tend to be very ambitious, so having to remind myself like, hey, this is what's on this, this calendar year's plans, and this is not. So like, put it on the to-do list for later and pump the brakes, girl. Sleep is important and not working 80 hours a week, right? 27, okay guys, this is a big one, and I'm laughing because I literally have a bunch of like sticky notes sitting in front of me with lists on them. But how to stay organized without making 10 different to-do lists and then having to spend, I don't know, an hour condensing them into 1 or 2 to-do lists. I have my like work to-do list and my personal to-do list. 28, how to eat, I don't know, the right amount of veggies or any veggies at all every day. And also let's add in the protein too, because that's a lot. 29, how to not buy something just because it's on sale. That's something that I am also a work in progress on. Number 30, how to stop filling every spare moment with something productive. We don't always have to be productive. And I think I'm getting a little bit better at that. I'm trying to like slow down in the mornings. There's this couch I really love in my sitting area. I've created this space in front of my big windows, like where the sun comes in in the morning. It's hot outside in South Florida, so I can sit on this couch inside of my air conditioning and still get the sun, look at some water. And just like breathe and take it all in. So I'm working on, I'm working on that, doing more of that and not letting that become like a 2-week thing that just falls by the wayside. Okay, number 31, how to trust the process and not rush the outcome. I constantly, like, my brain moves like literally 100 miles a minute, and the team, I recognize the team only works so many hours a day. So trusting the process, trusting that everybody's working on what they got to work on, which I know they are, like deep down I know all of this, but not rushing the outcome because sometimes I'm like, just let's just get this thing done. Let's just get, get this thing out there. Right. And sometimes the rush of all of that kind of makes me want to move a little faster than is realistic. So working on that one. Okay. Number 33, how to just continue laughing at myself and embracing the messy, beautiful work in progress that I am and constantly reminding myself that like, yes, you're 40. Yes, you're a mom of 2. Yes, you own 3 businesses. Yes, you're a wife. Yes, you're all, you wear all these hats. Like you're a mentor, you're this, you're that, blah, blah, blah. But also, like, you're human. I am human, and I am a hot mess express over here. So work in progress, but I, I'm happy about that, right? I'm gonna embrace that. Number 34. Oh gosh, guys, this one's a really big one. A really, really big one. This probably should have been number 1 on the list. How to keep track of all of the passwords. Seriously, like, how many apps does one person or business need? Why do we have so many passwords? I can't— my, my team will laugh when they hear this because I literally update passwords all the time because I lose them, can't find them. And they're like, Hallie, did you update the password to that again? I'm like, yes, yes I did. So sorry. Because not everything allows you to have multiple logins, like team logins, right? So sometimes there's like one master password for something and well, I can be really a pain in the butt when it comes to that. So, ah, better job at tracking them even though we have tracking apps. Okay. Number 35, we got the last 6 here, right? Number 35, how to avoid feeling like I need to respond immediately to texts and emails. Now I've gotten really good about the emails. Emails are where like things go to die. So if you email me, you may never hear from me. Just going to put that out there. DM me on Instagram or text me if you have my number. But the text messages, I really try to respond to them quickly because if I don't, I will be like, oh my goodness, why do I have 12 saved messages? I'll go look at them. I'll be like, oh, this person messaged me 5 days ago. In my brain, I was like, I'm going to respond to this later. I read it, I marked it unread because I didn't have time to respond now. And it's been like almost a week.

Oops.

That happens. Okay. Number 36, has anyone figured out how to make it through Target without like adding just like one more thing to your cart, whether you're in the store or online? Like, how do you get out of Target spending any less than $100? I'd love to know the secret there. Number 37, how to stop doubting myself when stepping into something new. Because even though many of you see me as a big personality and somebody who is very confident, right, which I am, sometimes when I'm doing something new, I still get the same feelings that you do. I still maybe doubt myself or second-guess myself or kind of go like, oh, like, what am I doing here? That's normal. It's human. Okay, 38 is how to keep a straight face when my kids ask like really awkward or I don't know, sometimes they seem like impossible to answer questions. Also working on that one. That one's a little more fun. 39, how to plan a vacation more than 2 weeks in advance. I even tried to hire somebody and Well, it's okay. And then how— lastly, number 40, how to stay present without mentally jumping ahead to like the next 5 things on my to-do list. I don't know if you guys are like that, but I'm always kind of thinking ahead and I have to focus really hard, especially having an ADHD brain, to focus really hard on like being in the present moment, listening to what someone's saying to me so that I actually can hear what they're saying, not just hear, but like I actually hear what they're saying, right? So you can have a real conversation. So anyways, that was a really long list. This is ultimately, these are the 40 things, right? That I'm, I still haven't figured out. So for those of you who are like, wow, you are really successful in business and you've got it all together and this, that, and the other, because I hear it from you guys all the time, I thought it would be fun to kind of be like, so yeah, I might be 40 here, right? But I am far from having figured it all out. And honestly, I've learned that's okay, right? That is where the growth happens. That's where the joy and the adventure lie. Like, that is— that's just part of being human. So if you're listening and you have not figured it all out either, like, welcome to the club. You are so not alone. So here's to just kind of laughing through the mess together, loving the journey that we're all on, and I don't know, living a little untethered in, in the— in the— what's the word I'm looking for? Not the nature, but in the spirit of this podcast. So happy birthday to me on the day that this airs. Hey, I am entering the world of 40s, so all tips, tricks you have, and anything related to these things that I'm still figuring out. I, I invite all the feedback. You can comment for watching it on the YouTube channel, comment below the YouTube channel. If you're listening to it, pop over to Instagram @HallieBulkin and tell me your— tell me your tips and tricks. Emily, welcome to the podcast.

I'm happy to be here. Thanks, Hallie.

I'm excited that you're here. I feel like we've known each other for a while now. And yeah, so it's always fun to have like a friend from online who has also been in some of our programs, but I've actually never met you in person, right? It feels like we know each other though. Like, yep, it's always fun to have you on the podcast and chat. And I know you specialize in speech and feeding and myo and all that fun stuff, so we'll kind of dive into a little bit of that today. But I would love for you to share, just like I always like to ask, we kind of like their origin story. Like, how did you get—

I feel like a lot of us go to school and like speech language is kind of like what we think we're getting into.

Was that the case for you? And at what point did you like pivot into like pediatric feeding and, and myo?

Yeah, so when I graduated, I started in the public school system and I worked in a variety of different placements. So general education, resource, self-contained classrooms, and I was there for about 7 years and I kind of had the yearning like my last year that I, I wanted something different. I saw this consistent pattern in the schools that many of the kids were just unhealthy. Like, these kids were kids that had difficulties with speech and language concerns, sensory, behavioral things. But we'd sit at the IEP meetings and there's just this recurring theme that their health was also poor. And so I kind of took a deep dive probably in like 2000, between 2016 and 2019. I did a health coaching certification that dove into like children's health and epidemics, the childhood epidemics that we're experiencing right now. And that kind of like spawned me on to looking at other options. And at that point I was like, I think I just, I need to pivot. And so I quit my job and I started my own business and I started out in the early intervention program and started kind of practicing feeding, learning more. I hopped into Feed the Peeds. I think I was one of the first ones in 2020 when that launched, cuz I mean, we had nothing else to do but study pediatric feeding all day because there was nowhere to go. And so I hopped into that, and throughout the course of those years, I started to notice— well, I very much noticed patterns in my second child, who was waking a lot at night with night terrors, bedwetting, snoring like an old man, grinding her teeth every night. And so I was at a feeding course, a different freeing course in person in about 2019. And I— someone was like, well, you should look into myofunctional therapy. And I'm like, I'm sorry, what is this thing you're talking about? And I heard about it and I went home and I just never stopped learning about it. Took an intro course and then took MyoMethod, and I haven't— I just haven't stopped since. And then as I'm learning, I was just seeing, oh my gosh, all these kiddos that I worked with in the schools, when I could go back and think about why were these kids not making progress in speech sound disorder areas, I'm like, well, this is why. This is a big reason why. And so that has just kind of been a catalyst. My third baby, I addressed her ties when she was just about 8 weeks old. So I went through that process as a parent as well, and early orthodontic expansion and airway issues with my older two. So it's been very much a labor of love for supporting other families, but also just like trying to dive in for my own kids to make sure they're healthy themselves.

So yeah, I feel like so many of our kids have like thrown us down a pathway that we never knew we were about to embark on.

Yep.

And here we are. We have gone far down the rabbit hole. So I guess talk to us a little bit about, you mentioned like your own kiddos and everything and One thing that stood out that I love to highlight for people is the importance of supporting like oral health from birth, oral development. That's like airway health and feeding and all the, all of the above. And so is that something that you educate on in your practice? Can you talk to us a little bit about that?

Yeah, we do, especially 'cause we see, we see infants. I think my youngest baby I've ever seen is 3 days old. And we talk to parents a lot about how when kids are older that come to our practice with either speech or feeding issues, they didn't, they don't just come and have these issues that just popped up when they were 7. When you look back at their intake paperwork, they were often struggling to breast or bottle feed, or they were maybe on a bottle that they just could compensate on. Maybe they even had some gross motor delays, which tells us a lot about reflexes and whatnot. So it doesn't just happen, like most of the time feeding issues don't pop up when a kid just ate unless there was some traumatic medical event, I suppose. But there's a, there's a history. And so while we really stress to parents that like we cannot guarantee anything with any procedure or therapy, but we do see patterns. And so we talk to parents, especially when they're here. Most of our babies, depending upon the situation, are here about 6 to 12 weeks. And so we really spend time educating parents throughout that time so that if something were to come up when they get closer to like eating solids, they know exactly where to go and they know exactly who to contact right away so that we're not waiting 3 years with picky eating and gagging and vomiting. Instead, it's like, oh, I did this for 3 weeks and this didn't get better, so called Eats and Speaks again and we got right back in and we could nip it right in the butt. And so that is something we definitely hit home to families, especially the ones that are that birth to 12-month population, because there's just so much we can, tiny bits of information that they can learn that can really change the trajectory of their kid's development for certain.

Yeah, no, I love that. And I think it's so incredibly important to get in there early. Like I think about when I was pregnant with my oldest, how it would've been really nice. Like I, we took these baby classes through the hospital and like there was like a breastfeeding component. Now, was there actually like an IBCLC or anybody actually qualified to talk about this? No, we watched a video and then we went for like a tour. We did do a CPR class, so that was helpful. But aside from that, there was really no parent education on, hey, you're about to give life to a human and your two big responsibilities are like keep that baby alive. By making sure they can breathe and making sure they can feed. And like, as long as they're voiding and peeing and pooping, everything's all good. It was sort of like once the baby was here, it was like, okay, it's really important that baby has this many wet diapers and that they, they have bowel movements every so often and whatever that frequency was. Like, I was tracking the feedings, I was tracking, but also I was tracking it because one, I'm like, hi, new mom, my brain's not working. And two, like, I don't know what I'm doing. So if I need to actually like get some assistance, I feel like I need to log this every feed, every poop, every pee. But we were doing that because she was also an awful feeder. So there's that. But I just, I'm like, I wish that there was like more parent education. Like, I don't want to say standardized, but like across the board, kind of in the way that these hospitals require you to take a baby class before you give birth in their hospital. Sometimes it would be really nice if there was some like learning for parents prior to actually having the baby.

Right. And so We don't do a ton of prenatal visits for families necessarily, but we do have a course that we created because that's exactly it. We took all the things that we tell families when they come here that they're like, what? No one ever told us that. So that you can at least— our goal is not to replace therapy when you need it, but our goal is to give you tiny bits of information so that when and if that does occur for you, you have a straight shot for who you're gonna go. And I would say, if you're a parent listening, one, you should check out our course because I'm biased, but it's super helpful. But two, my biggest advice is to learn about feeding your baby before they come. You will never regret that, whether or not you have feeding issues or not. You will never regret it. And two, find providers in your area like a lactation consultant or speech therapist who does feeding or an occupational therapist who does feeding. Find these people before you have your baby because then you're gonna know exactly where to go to. Maybe you're gonna even look up reviews. Maybe they're, you're gonna take a glance at their social media. Have them before because we do have people that call kind of in a panic and we do get people in as quickly as we can, but then also we get people who maybe didn't know where to go, and they sat in misery for 3 or 4 months before they find us. And then that was me.

Yeah, I'm like, over here, like, what happened?

Yeah. And then they're like, oh my gosh, I didn't know this. I wish we could have come sooner. I mean, I never have a parent that's like, wow, I'm really glad you just told it to me now instead of 12 weeks ago, or even when I was expecting. And so our course goes through what is normal development in a baby? What are tips and tricks I can do to just support my baby's development, even if I don't have concerns? And what type of— what does it look like if my baby has a tongue tie or other medical-based feeding concerns? Like, what can I do and who can I reach out to? It goes as far as products that we recommend for babies. And maybe why some products are okay for a short period of time and why we don't wanna use others. So it's, it's a real like intimate, it's a short course about an hour. So it's nothing overwhelming and that's why we created it just so people can have an ounce of information before they go.

That's incredible. And so, so very needed. Yeah, I mean, I joke, I'm like, guess the joke was on me as a feeding therapist mom. But for people listening who maybe are newer to the podcast and haven't been here for 5, 6 years.

I feel like—

so Lily, my oldest, was tongue-tied. She's now been in 3 rounds of expansion. She just turned 10 at this point, but really struggled to breastfeed her. And I was working with like the 2+ crowd at that point. So my brain was like, infants, what do I do with an infant? I don't know what to do with an infant. This was 10 years ago. She very quickly threw me into learning what you do with an infant, but it took me, even as a provider in the pediatric feeding space, It took me time and energy to figure out as a new mom that one, okay, this is not normal because everyone kept saying, oh, it's normal that this is happening. Oh, that's normal. And at a certain point I was like, I'm gonna trust my gut. Like, this doesn't seem normal. She's barely getting ahead. She was never ahead of the first percentile on her growth, her weight for the entire first year. And she was like 5% for like height. And so I was like, my baby's just tiny, but also like we are on our own growth curve according to the pediatrician. And I went, I took her to an IBCLC. Who was like, put her into like a football hold and that positioning. She fed well in the appointment and then we left and it did not work at home.

And I was like, it's like when you take your car to the shop and they can't seem to figure out what that noise is.

And then you leave and there the noise is back. I was like, it was like taking my baby to the shop. Yeah. It worked beautifully while we were there and we went home and it was a problem again. But no, we struggled for 13 months with very painful breastfeeding. Like I would have to turn my face away from her to latch because of how painful it was. I think that's one of the reasons why I created my courses. I created this podcast. I created Feed the P's. It's like you're saying, parents need information. I was like, clinicians need information too. I didn't know what to do with her. And I was in this space where I presumably would have greater access to feeding therapists or information. And even then I was like, but I didn't. So it's interesting to see it all kind of come full circle. I feel like there's more courses out there now. But when we created Feed the Peeds, we were like, this doesn't exist. Like, we need something that kind of like pulls everything all together. Let's add in the tongue-tie conversation. Let's adapt Mio to these little ones, make sure they can eat, breathe, sleep, succeed, thrive. But yeah, man, had I just as a parent had a sliver of information knowing like what to expect with my infant and not just blissfully going into— well, it wasn't blissful, we were induced and it was a long labor, but just expecting my baby was gonna latch and everything was gonna worked beautifully, I think I would have at least felt more like my nervous system would have been a little bit more in check.

Hopefully, like, I would have been like, okay, it's not going as maybe we thought it would, but also I've got tools in my tool belt.

Like, I know who to seek out and where to ask for help and where to go. So I think, like, like you said, like, it's just you don't know. And if you don't know who's in your area and you don't really even know who to seek out, you're kind of starting at square one and now you're sleep deprived in your fourth trimester and it's just, it's a hot mess. And those Facebook groups do not help.

No, not, not a great way to enter a Facebook group when you're— it's 3 AM and I have told a few people in the past, like, I have to stay out of the groups myself because I just— my heart is— it's so painful to watch the 75 comments that come in under this mom's post. With everyone's input. And I think I honestly cannot see two, cannot think of like two babies or even two older children that I do myofunctional therapy with that need exactly the same approach. And, and so that's why having that individualized care is so important because one baby might be ready to go for a release at 8 weeks old and one baby I would be like, no, we're not gonna do that.

Quick disclaimer, all information, content, and material of this podcast are the opinions of the speakers and is for the informational purpose only and not intended to serve as a substitute for the consultation, diagnosis, and/or medical treatment of a qualified healthcare provider. That wraps up today's special compilation. My goal with these episodes is to bring together the conversations and the insights that are truly moving the needle in our field right now. Next, whether you're a parent looking for answers or a clinician looking to sharpen your skills, remember that the most important tool you have is your own clinical reasoning. Don't just look at the surface level symptoms, look at the underlying systems. If today's episode shifted your perspective or gave you a new aha moment, I would love to hear about it. Take a screenshot of you listening, post it to your stories, and tag me @HallieBulkin. You can always find more resources and past episodes over at untetheredpodcast.com. Thanks for tuning in, and I'll see you back here next week on The Untethered Podcast.