How To Be Truly Happy [Interview with T. Harv Eker]

Hey, it's Jesse Ecker, Managing director for Harvacker International and I'm here with T. Harv eker who after 12 years of struggle in his early career finally cracked the code and went from zero to millionaire in only two and a half years. From there his career really took off and he went on to build one of the largest success training companies in the world. He then shocked the publishing world with his first book, Secrets of the Millionaire mind, hitting number one on New York Times, Wall Street Journals and USA Today's best sellers list its first week out. This book has now been translated into 42 different languages and Harv has helped change the lives of over 3 million people from around the world and continues to be one of the most recognized names in all the personal success industry. Let's welcome Mr. T. Harv Eker. Welcome Harv.

Hey, thank you so much. Thanks for having me. Looking forward to this.

You have one of the most well known self improvement books of all time. Inc.com ranked your book number two of most influential financial books of all time. And that book was the Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. And that along with business is what you're most well known for. But today we're not going to talk about business at all. We're not going to talk about the millionaire mind at all.

And we're not going to be talking.

About money at all. We're actually going to be talking about something completely new and completely different today. We're going to be talking about your new project that you've been working on for the past five years that you've termed the Happiness project, which I'm super excited about. So I'd like to start with this. As I mentioned, you're well known around the world for helping people succeed with their money. Why now start talking and teaching about happiness?

Yeah, that's a question a lot of people have been asking me. So I guess it's a good one. You know, kind of as you said, I struggled. I struggled big time financially for many, many, many years. And not only was I broke, but I have to admit I wasn't really happy with the rest of my life either. You know, sure, like anybody else, I would have moments of fun and enjoyment. But most of the time I felt a kind of a sense of anxiety and worry and frustration and overwhelm, especially in the business. I seemed constantly to be upset, you know, if it was this thing or was that thing. But something was always bothering me, if you know what I mean. And I certainly wouldn't say I was depressed, but I certainly wouldn't say I was as happy as I wanted to be either. So thank goodness, my situation changed. I became super successful in every sense of the word. I became a multi, multi, multi, multi millionaire. I was rich, I was free. I had the lifestyle that most people would give their right and left hand for. But you know what? I still didn't have the one thing I really, really wanted. I still didn't feel. I didn't. Didn't feel totally and deeply happy. And so I kind of started speaking to other people about this, and I noticed that this was a problem for pretty well everybody. And it was a big problem. So I decided, since that's the one thing that I really wanted, I decided to make happiness my next major project. And I spent the next five years, five years experimenting on myself. I was the guinea pig. I read all the books. I listened to all the DVDs and watch them, and I listen to all the podcasts and everything else out there. So I was the guinea pig here.

That makes a lot of sense. And thank you for sharing that. But we're really itching to know, like, after you went and did this discovery time, what did you actually discover about happiness?

Yeah, well, what I discovered, believe it or not, is that the way I, and almost all of us have been taught to find happiness doesn't work. At least not for long. And you know what? It gets worse. Because instead of being taught to be happy, we have actually been taught, programmed, conditioned, to be unhappy. Let me repeat that. To be unhappy. Or at least not as happy as we'd like to be.

So you're saying we're all programmed to be unhappy, or at least not as happy as we could be, right?

Well, yeah. I mean, not. I wouldn't say all of us, but most of us. Let me explain because it gets a little bit deep here. Okay, so I'm very well known for making the following statement lately. And people are like, they perk up their ears. They go, what did you just say? And the statement is this. Listen closely. I say this. Give me 30 seconds with anyone, and I can predict your level of happiness for the rest of your life. All right, so I know it's a bit odd here, but how do I do that? Simply by identifying what we call your happiness thermostat. So each of us has a personal happiness thermostat already programmed. Already programmed into our subconscious. And everyone needs to understand this. It is this thermostat, this thermostat that will regulate how happy you will be. In your life. So you can have tons of money, a gorgeous home, a, you know, stunning sports car. You can have the best relationship, the best family, great friends. You can achieve the highest levels of success in your business, in your career. You can be at the top of your game, Whatever you play, be great at it or your hobby. You can have tons of fun, loads of fun. You can laugh a lot. In short, you can really have the lifestyle of your dreams. But, but, but. If your subconscious happiness thermostat is not set for high, you will never be truly happy. And if by chance you are, it will not last.

How is your happiness thermostat formed then?

Well, your happiness thermostat consists of two primary elements. One is your genetics. There is no denying that your genetics, the, the disposition that you were born with. And two is the information or programming you received in the past, especially early on. So, you know, we gotta be right up front on this thing. You cannot do that much about the genetic part. However, we can do plenty about the programming part.

Wow, this is really, really interesting. So how do we know what our current happiness thermostat is then set for?

Well, that's really hard. No, actually, it's really easy. It's very simple. Look at your results. Look at your results. Generally speaking, how happy have you been? Generally speaking, how happy are you? Are you truly and deeply happy? Does your happiness last? Or are you like what I call the happiness roller coaster? You know, something good happens, you're happy, Something not so good happens, you're not happy, you get what you want, you're happy, you don't get what you want, you're not so happy, you know? And, and how often do you get upset? How quickly do you get upset or irritated? Do a lot of things bug you? Do little things bother you? How often are you angry? How often do you feel anxious or stressed? How often do you worry? Okay, people are going, why are you talking about anger and anxious and anxiety and stress and upset and worry? Here's why. Because when you are in those things, you are not happy. Okay? It's that or this. Happy or upset. Anxiety, stress, worry, fear, anger, those are opposites. Everybody, those are opposites. When you are doing those things, even in the slightest, you are not happy. Period. Over and out. So let me put it this way. If the temperature in the room is 72 degrees, chances are really good the thermostat in that room is set for how much? 72 degrees. And here's where it gets super, super interesting. Now, is it possible that because the Windows are open and say it's very cold outside, that the temperature in that room could, say, go down to, I don't know, 65 degrees. Of course it is. But what will eventually happen? That's right. The thermostat will automatically kick in and drive the temperature in that room right back to 72 where it was in preset for? Yes or yes. Now, is it possible that because the windows are open, it's very hot outside, that the temperature in the room could, say, get to 77 degrees? Absolutely, of course it can. But what will eventually happen? That's right. The thermostat will automatically kick in and drive the temperature in that room right back to 72. Meaning that the only way to permanently, I repeat, permanently. Let me repeat this in case anybody didn't get it. Permanently change the temperature in that room is to change that thermostat. Yes or yes. And the same thing goes with your happiness. Same with you. The only way to permanently. Let me repeat it again. Permanently change your level of happiness is to change your happiness thermostat. Otherwise you are destined, or in some people's cases, doomed to stay at your current level of happiness for the rest of your life. And it doesn't matter what great or good or wonderful things happen, because if they do happen, sure, you're going to be on a high for a little while, but eventually a thermostat will kick in and you will come back to your original happiness temperature or level. Does that make sense?

That makes perfect sense. And I totally can relate to that. So my question now for you then is I think you are getting to, you know, we can probably change our happiness thermostat. So if we can change our happiness thermostat, if we want to be happier, if we want to set our temperature thermostat higher, how would we go about doing that?

Yeah, that is the million dollar question. Right? So absolutely it can be changed, but it can be changed in the same way we got it that it was set in the first place. I hope that makes sense. It's the obvious thing, right? By reprogramming, we got programmed to set a certain temperature. Even in your house, the thermostat has to be set, programmed. Right? So we have to replace, what's the word? Replace our current happiness program with another program that works a lot better and gets a lot better results. We have to replace our current happiness strategies, the strategies we use to hopefully find or create happiness in life with actually completely different, different strategies for happiness. And that's exactly what my New online training teaches people to do. It's called the Shocking Truth About Happiness. How to be a lot happier than you are right now and stay that way for the rest of your life.

Well, I gotta say, that does sound like a pretty big promise, arv.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, I've heard that before, and I know that it sounds like a big promise. But you know what? It's actually quite simple. Once you know the one, the one secret, and that's why I call it shocking, people go, why do you call it shocking? Because when they hear the one secret, they get it. But you know, the thing about this secret and the reason it's shocking is because it's completely counterintuitive to the way we are thinking and what we're doing right now. It's virtually the opposite of how most people think and what most people do. And when I reveal it, almost every single person says the same thing. Like, oh, my God, all right, this makes total sense. But I never thought about it this way. This makes it so simple. And that's why it's a game changer, because pretty well everyone is trying to find happiness. They're trying to find happiness. The way they're trying to do it is a huge mistake. They're making mistake after mistake after mistake. And this is what is causing them to be unhappy or less happy than they could be.

These mistakes. Would you mind sharing a few of these mistakes or one of these mistakes with us that people are making in search of becoming more happy?

You know, for the amount of time we have right now. Let me get into a couple of things here. But, you know, the first one, the most, let me call it the foundational one, the base one, is simply not really understanding what happiness really is. Okay. And no, the entire concept of happiness for most people is ambiguous. It's vague. If you ask 10 people what happiness is, you're going to get what, 10 different answers? Yes or yes. And if you don't know where you're going, how are you supposed to get there? And this is why, for most people, the search for happiness is never ending. Because they don't know exactly what they're looking for and they don't know when they've gotten there. So what do they have to do? They have to keep on searching. Right? And. And that's why one of the seven secrets in the online training is really defining specifically happiness and understanding exactly what happiness is and what it isn't. And 99% of us never, ever, ever, ever learned this. I mean, I don't know, I mean, did you take happiness 101 when you were in grade school? How about, how about high school? You took it there, right? No. How about university? Everybody? Your graduate school? You took happiness, right? No. Well, nobody did join the club. I sure didn't. No one did take this subject.

No, I definitely didn't take happiness 101.

But you know what? Here's the thing. This should have been taught in kindergarten. In freaking kindergarten, but it wasn't. And why wasn't it taught? You know why? Because hardly anybody knows about it. So there's nobody to teach it. Everybody's running the same route on the treadmill that goes literally to a level of maybe 5, 6, 7, and that's about it. And they keep on running that treadmill so they never really get to it. They have these little glimpses of true happiness that it lasts minutes and then it's gone again, right? And nobody understood the secret as to how to actually define it, Be it, live it, and have it really, really last. So who's there to teach it? Hmm.

That's really helpful.

And.

That'S a huge mistake, I think, that a lot of people are making. So would you mind sharing another one with us? What's another happiness mistake people are making?

Well, okay, this is another big one, I guess, again coming from programming, right? You know, people wanting. We want our happiness to be consistent, we want it to be constant. We want our happiness to last. But we're basing our happiness on conditions that are inconsistent, right? And always changing. You know, most people think, here's the words, you know, in your mind, you know, if this happens, I'll really be happy, or if that happened, I'd be a lot happier. Or if this wasn't happening, I would be. I could be really happy. Yes or yes. But here's the problem. What's the common word here? The common word is if, if, if and all ifs. Let me repeat that. All ifs, by their nature of definition, are conditions. And conditions are always what, changing. So if you try to derive your happiness from conditions, situations, circumstances that are always changing, hey, what else has to change? Guess what? Your happiness has to change with it. Yes or yes, this is a huge mistake. But it's what most of us have been programmed, programmed, conditioned to do. It's the only thing we know to do. We don't know another way. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. There is another way, a completely different way of attacking, attaining happiness that is constant, consistent and lasting. And that's another major Secret that people are going to learn. In my online training, that one was really relatable.

I definitely can see why that causes a lot of unhappiness. The ifs. I think that's super relatable for a lot of people that are watching, and especially myself. So both of those have been super, super helpful. And I know we don't have so much time, but I would love, and I think everyone also who's watching would love maybe one more mistake if you're willing to give us one more.

Okay, let's talk about one that's a little more controversial, okay? And it's one that most people, they never consider it, and that is not fully committing. Committing to making happiness the number one priority in your life. Sounds weird already, right? But, you know, I have over a million students all around the world, and I always ask, what is the bottom line as to what you want? What do you really want? And sometimes in our seminars, you know, and especially in our smaller groups in our private circles and things like that, I'll get a group of 25 people together. I'll just say, I want you to write the answer to this question, what do you really want? And I give them five minutes to write it. You know what everybody finishes. I say, keep it simple. Just the one thing everybody finishes in five seconds. You know what they all write, I just want to be happy. I just want to be happy. Okay? And almost everything else we do, almost everything else we do literally, is to be happy or happier. Literally everything we do is to be happier. Happier. Otherwise, why do you do it? Right. We want more money. Right. Why? To be happier. We want a loving relationship. Why? To be happier. We do all kinds of activities and things and golf and swim and go to the beach and do this and hang out with these people. Why? To be happier. All these things are to what? To be happy. And so it's time to just admit and commit, admit and commit that what we really want is just to be happy and make it happiness number one. Number one priority. And why is that important? By the way, I use this on myself 10 times a day, okay? This is critical. Why is it so important that happiness be your number one priority? Why? Because if it is your number one priority, we might stop doing many, many, many a lot of the other things that make us unhappy. Unhappy. Right. And you know what? Everybody needs to hear this right now. This is the biggest problem for most people. You don't realize it, but you are constantly doing things and thinking things that make you make you unhappy. Let me Say it again. The reason, the primary reason you are not as happy as you could be is because you keep making yourself unhappy. And exactly how you do this to yourself subconsciously, without realizing it, without knowing it, is what I'm going to be teaching on this online thing.

So that obviously brings up a good point. So if people's number one priority is to be happy, then why do so few people commit and admit that to making happiness their main priority in life?

Yeah. Well, there are several reasons that we are going to talk about on the training, but for right now, one of them is simply the belief that it is selfish. It is selfish to want to be really happy while so many other people are not happy. Ok? And you know what? I totally commend these folks for their compassion. But let's examine this belief a little more closely. Let me ask you this question. Do you really think, do you really believe that other people will be happier because you're not? I mean, is the amount of happiness available limited? Is there only so much happiness to go around? I mean, it is a little ridiculous, isn't it when you stop and think about it? You know what? In fact the opposite is true. Happiness is an energy. Let me repeat that. Happiness is an energy like everything else. Einstein said it, he said energy is neither created nor destroyed, but it is always, always, always transferred. In other words, your happiness or unhappiness is contagious. And your happiness, happiness, energy that is contagious. That energy lifts other people. And unfortunately, as I said, the same thing goes with your unhappiness. It brings everyone else around you down. So if you really want to, if you're a good person and you really want to help other people be happy and lift everybody else around you up, yes or yes. I hope that makes sense to everybody. And that's one of the main reasons I actually spent five years, five full years putting this training together. You know, I felt that if I could help people become a lot happier and a lot more often, that energy would transfer automatically to their family and their friends and then their family and their friends and their family and their friends and their family and their friends and on and on. And eventually these new strategies for happiness could make a difference for, for millions and millions of people's lives.

You're obviously very, very passionate about this topic on happiness, which is amazing. And I obviously know you better than most and I know that you love your freedom and you've loved these years of being in semi retirement. So you know, why are you choosing this specific project to come out of semi retirement and teach it to the public or the world. Why this?

Well, you know, have you ever heard this saying? If it's to be, it's up to me. You know, I got ingrained with that in my formative years. If it's to be, it's up to me. And I gotta be. I gotta be right up front, you know, I am in semi retirement. I do a little bit of online stuff. Stuff. I do a lot of investment work and I do some consulting work, but for the most part I work maybe an hour or two a day, no weekends. And so I don't do that right now. And I really wish I have been waiting, waiting for someone else to teach this so I wouldn't have to. But no one else is teaching this. Not in the same, same, simple, doable, easy to understand way that you put it into practice immediately and become way 5, 10 times happier now and that it lasts. So again, the bottom line issue for almost everyone in the world is they just not as happy as they would like to be. And that's why we keep on trying to do things to be happier. Happier. We're always doing every minute of the day. That's what you're doing, right? But everyone just wants to be a little or a lot happier, right? So I'm not sure if I should admit this. I've actually never talked about this before in an interview or anywhere else. But this is an important piece. So, you know, I've always been. How do you call it? I'm not going to say the word shortcut. I've always been a person that looked for the secret sauce. Yeah, that's right, the secret sauce to success in everything that I do. I've always believed if I could just learn one secret thing, one move, whatever it was, that there's one key secret to everything. So here's an example. When I was younger, in my late teens, ok, I found finally that there was one, one key secret to skiing. Skiing, right. And when I discovered it, I went from a kind of a higher beginner, like just doing pizza, you know, with a snowplow and not being able to stop well, and going down bunny runs and falling all the time, a high beginner to a low advanced skier, right? Where feet are together going down bumps, going in the trees, etc. Etc. In one day. One freaking day. One day. And then from there I went on to be one of the better skiers on the entire mountain in a few weeks. And when I started sharing this secret with other people, the exact same thing happened for them. Because there's a secret. One secret. I always ask you, what's the secret? I'll share with you at some point in time, but it's an obvious secret when you're doing it. Ok? When I was in the fitness business, when I was in the fitness business, I found there was only one. One. One key secret to weight loss. That's why I went from one store to 10 stores in only two years. And it wasn't because of the equipment that we sold, because other people had similar equipment. It was because I was teaching people the one key secret to losing weight and keeping it off permanently. And because of that, I had hundreds and hundreds of referrals. That's what made me so successful. I would share the one secret. They go, oh, my God, this works. That's right. It does work. Then I found there was one key secret to money. One key secret. Yeah. There's a lot of important elements to all these things, but only one key. One like hub key that turns it right, and it's in there and everything else turns around it. But if you don't have this one, it just doesn't work. You're struggling forever. Okay? And so I found one key secret with money. And when I discovered it, I went from $2,000 in debt to a multi, multi, multi, multi, multi, multi. And, you know, I could go on for a few minutes. Millionaire. All right? And I've shared this secret myth with thousands of other and they've done incredibly well themselves. Also. You use it, it works, Period. Over and out. You know, to get more specific, I found. Here's one that most people don't think about. I found there's only one. There is one key critical secret, one key secret to getting a book to go number one on the New York Times bestseller list. I'm not talking about Amazon. That you can do with your eyes closed in the middle of the night for a quarter second, and you're number one on Amazon. That is not that difficult, okay? And teach you how to do that in eight seconds. But number one on the New York Times bestseller list. Whole different world, okay? Because this single secret, we were able to sell 52,000 books in the very first week and beat out Harry Potter, Harry Potter to go number one. New York Times, Wall Street Journal and USA bestseller list, okay? Because of the one secret. All right? And by the way, there was an article written in the New York Times about me and this secret. That's how the went. Wow. Okay. This is how he did it. And now, finally, after five Full years of devoting my full time to this question, I finally found there is one. One, one. One key secret to happiness. And this one key secret has made me happier than I've ever been before in my life. And it's the same with virtually all of the people that I've shared it with so far. And I feel now that it's my duty. I don't know, my purpose, my mission, my dharma, whatever you want to call it, to share this with as many people as possible. So that's what I'm going to do in this webinar. That's why I created it. I'm going to share that key, that key secret that makes all the difference when it comes to finding true happiness. And if you get it, and you will, you know, I try to make things really super simple, okay? Everybody gets it. I've never had one person I've shared it with that didn't get it in, like, three seconds. I went, oh, well. I've never heard a frame. I've never heard anybody say that before. That is so amazing. That changes everything. And it does. When you get it, you will not only be happier, you will stay happier, because you know the secret. You know how to get back on track if you fall off. And we all do a little bit, right? You know how to get back on track super quickly. Super quickly. On the other hand, if you don't know this, if you don't really get it, if you don't know the secret, unfortunately, nothing can change. It's not going to change. And chances are you're going to stay the same level of happiness that you're at or you've been at for the rest of your life. And you know what? Even if that's pretty good, if you're like most people, it's nowhere close to your happiness potential. And this word is a word that isn't talked about.