Marcia Martin (in a T. Harv Eker upload) explains differences between men and women to improve opposite-sex relationships. She contrasts cognitive styles (men as single-taskers, women as multitaskers), uses analogies (Labrador, football) to illustrate communication mismatches, and identifies core fears she observed in training: men fear not succeeding or being exposed as inadequate; women fear not being able to attract or seduce. The excerpt emphasizes adapting communication to these differences and offers illustrative practical advice (e.g., reassure attraction).
Chapters
So here's a couple things to know about men and women. Men and women are not alike. They're two different species. Women get themselves in so much trouble because they treat their man. They talk to him, they emote to him, they consider he's thinking like a woman. We talk to our men as if it's like a woman, and that's a mistake. It would be better if you compared him to your Labrador. And whatever you did with your Labrador, that's how you treated your guy. And I say this in the most amazing, you know, honoring men, because men, their brains work differently, their emotions work differently. First of all, men do one thing at a time. And they've proven now they've proven how the brain works in going from the left to the right, brain spatial to linear thinking. A man, it's stuck. He gets stuck in one side. It takes a lot of work for him to get over to the other side. When he gets over to the other side, he's stuck there for a while and it takes some time to get over to the other side. And a woman goes like this and wonders why he's not keeping up with her. It's frustrating for him. He can do one thing at a time. So if you're upstairs and the phone's ringing and nobody's answering it and he's watching football, you get upset with him. But your Labrador, you didn't get upset with him because he didn't answer the phone. So I'm just saying, you know, he can do one thing at a time. Just think, now why am I upset? It's silly. A woman can do lots of things all at the same time. I love it when a guy is watching the football game and wants his lady to watch it with her and she's sitting there and sewing and doing the accounting and considering what's for dinner and probably doing the crossword puzzle all at the same time. And he looks at her and says, why aren't you watching the game? And she goes, well, I am, because she is. So you do lots of things all at once. So we know those little cute things. The differences. Here's some major differences. Men have a deep seated fear. I've trained over 150,000 people. I've worked with tens of thousands of relationships. And at first I thought, well, there's going to be a guy that comes along that doesn't have this, and they haven't yet. So from my experience, that's all I can share from. Men have a deep seated fear they're not going to succeed, succeed. Even as successful as they are, some of them will tell you, well, you know, I'm afraid somebody's going to find out that I don't even know what I'm doing. It's all accidental. There's something down inside. They really need to succeed and they're afraid that they might not be able to. They might not be able to produce the result. Women have a deep seated fear they're not attractive enough. Not that they're not pretty enough, I don't mean that, but that they can't call, that they can't seduce, that they can't attract. That something else or someone else is going to be more able to attract than they are. And that's why a woman going down the street, if her guy looks at another woman, gets upset because if the guy knew that about her, he could look at all the women and then turn around to her and he would know at that moment he needs to tell her, honey, there's a lot of beautiful women out here, but none of them attract me like you do.
