T. Harv Eker explains that lack of motivation stems from lack of energy, passion, or a compelling "why." He advises finding a bigger why—either personal or service-oriented—and illustrates the point with a personal story about leaving college, a vow to "show" his parents he could succeed, and an evolution from fear-driven motivation to service-driven purpose.
So what would I tell someone who might be struggling with motivation? Well, the big question is, why are you struggling with motivation? It's all about energy, right? So generally what happens is people who don't have motivation in an area don't have energy towards that area. They don't have a passion for it, they don't have a purpose for it. So the biggest thing that gives you passion and purpose is your why. Why are you doing what you're doing? If you don't have a big enough why? Something that excites you, something that motivates you, then why would you have motiv? Okay, that's first, you've got to have a bigger why. That why can be for yourself or it can be for others as a purpose. Like, I want to help people succeed because I went through such struggle myself. This is very, very important to me. I know what it feels like to be broke. I know what it feels like to be not nearly as successful as you like to be. I know what it feels like to have expectations of yourself and just be disappointed. I know what it feels like. It feels like crap. And I hated it. It was the worst time of my life. And that's why this is so important to me that I help other people succeed, because I know what that felt like. Okay? So that's why when I get in front of a room or in front of a camera, I'm not thinking about me. I'm thinking about who is listening, who is watching, what situation are they in? And is there any way that I could possibly give them some strategy, some knowledge, some methodology, some anything to help them succeed. So that's about the other person. Now there's inner motivations. Like, for example, I was the kind of person that I had to succeed. Now why do they have to succeed? Well, for some people, it might be, you know, my family or it might be, you know, a situation where, you know, my dad or my parents are very successful and I want to emulate that. Or it might be just a certain lifestyle that someone really, really wants is really important to them. Or it might be freedom as to what's important to you, what's important to you, what's your why? What's your got to. Why do you have to do it? I'm going to share something with you right now that doesn't paint me in the best light at that time. Now I do things differently, but at that time it is what it is. And I've always wanted to be honest and transparent and just tell it like it is. And that's the way this channel. That's how this channel works. So here it was. Do you want to know my major motivation for becoming rich when I was not rich? Would you like to know? Oh, I guess you didn't. Okay, I'll tell you. I remember coming home one day, coming to my parents house for dinner actually. And I was leaving school and I went to them and during, during dinner I said, I have some news. It was after the first year of college and I said, you know what? I'm going to take some time off of school. I'm going to leave school. If I want to, I'll go back after. But I'm going to go into the real world and get started. My parents, when they heard that flip the frick out, they went berserk. I never actually saw them go this crazy before. They both stood up from the dinner table. What's the matter with you? Are you crazy? You're going to be a bum. You're never going to amount to anything. My father's nose was right beside my nose. He's like spitting in my face, talking. I'll never talk to you again. You're gonna be a bum. What happened? We tried to give you everything and you're gonna disappoint us. I went, oh my God, like I never expected anything. All I wanted to do was be a good son like many other people, right? And so I'm thinking to myself, oh my God, like what happened here? And I made a decision in that moment. And here's what my decision was. I don't, I don't remember saying it out loud, but inside it was like blaring. And I said this. I'll show you. I'll show you. I'll show you. I'll prove to you that I am a success, that I'm a good boy, that I can make it. I'll prove it to you. And in that moment, I made the decision of my life. And from that moment on, all I could think about was becoming wealthy as quickly as possible, possible, so that I could show, which I did, my million dollar check to my parents. So my motivation at the time was proving myself. That is not a very happy motivation. I tell you what, it works really good, but it's based in fear, which is quite a drag, but it works really well. And so that was mine. So the question is, now I've got other motivations. My motivation went from fear to service. So now I'm not in fear anymore. So now I come from service and enjoying what I do. So what's your motivation? What's your why? If you don't got a why, you don't have any motivation.
