T. Harv Eker's Tips for Overcoming Self-Doubt

Hey everybody, this is T harv Eker. Hope you're doing fantastic. Let me ask you a simple question here. Do you ever doubt yourself? Do you ever doubt your abilities? Do you ever doubt your choices? Are you a little bit unsure? Do you ever talk yourself out of going for what you really want in your life? Thinking, well, I'm not sure it's going to work, I'm not sure I can do it. Do you ever lack a little bit of confidence? Do you ever lack a little bit of self esteem and inner power? Well, if that's the case, you are not alone. In fact, I want you to know right now that that's actually normal for most people. And why is that? It's because we have a mind. And your mind is a survival mechanism. Its only job is to keep you alive, survive. And therefore its primary element in life is protection to protect you. And so its job is to keep you out of trouble. Kind of like a bodyguard. And so here you are, you have this idea of, hey, you know, I'd like to start a business, or I'd like to walk up to this person who I find attractive, or I'd like to play this game, but this person's gonna destroy me or whatever it is. So you're doubting your situation or you know what, have you ever had this? You make a decision, okay, this is what we're gonna do. I'm gonna do this, I'm going for this, I'm doing this. And you finally made this decision and what happens three hours later, your mind chimes in and goes, I don't know. I don't know if I could do this. I don't know if this is going to work. Have you ever had that happen? If you're alive, you've had that happen. I know that I have, many, many times. And so in this video, we're going to talk about your inner power, we're going to talk about your self esteem or talk about how to create more confidence in your life. Very, very simple. All right, let's talk about confidence. Confidence comes from the Latin word confidera. Does anybody know what that means? It means to trust. What's the word? To trust. Now when it comes to confidence and it comes to trusting, who do you think you have to trust? Yourself. That's what confidence is. It's really self confidence, isn't it? So it's about trusting yourself. Okay, now how do you get to trust yourself? Well, number one is the most obvious one is if you have abilities in a certain area, you can Pretty well. Trust that you're going to be able to perform and at least do the things you were able to do before. Yes or yes. So here I am on my boat and the first time I drove this boat, I really had zero confidence, right? So I had no idea what to do. I didn't know where forward back on this boat was, etc. Etc. But after doing it one time, two times, five times, ten times, I began to have more trust that I knew what I was doing and I could do it. Makes sense, right? So number one thing is experience. And how do you get experience, especially if you don't have it? You listen closely now. Write this down. If it's not there for you, start small, make it easy. So I didn't start on the boat going, whoa, 40 miles an hour on massive waves and big wind and woo, woo, yeah, baby. No, it wasn't even close to that. It was like this going, what are we going about 3 miles, 3.5 miles an hour. And I'm going, oh, is this it? Okay, I'm try going in neutral. Okay, that, that's okay. Let me go a little forward here. Oh, oh my God. I think I'm going too fast now. Let me slow down a little bit. All right, so that's, that's day one. That's how it goes for everybody, right? And then the next time a little more and the next time a little better and a little time. And the tenth time, you know, I can pretty well go to most places. There are certain things. Here's an example. Haven't docked the boat yet on a beach, so I want to do that. And what are we going to do? Well, Michelle and I have talked to a couple of our friends that are big, big boaters and they're going to come with us one evening. We're going to dock on a beach and have a little picnic. So how do I get confidence knowing that's number two. Number one is experience starting small. Number two is asking for help, you know, getting a little bit of support, especially your first couple of times at something, get some, get some, some assistance, some teaching, some support, etc. And that's where, for example, learning comes in. That's why I'm such a huge believer in learning, in knowledge. And that's why I. And we do what we do. I believe in knowledge. It changed my life because again, at the beginning, how are you supposed to know anything? Here's the big thing. I want you to write this down. If you're in a position, do it. Listen Closely. Knowledge conquers fear. Let me say that again. Knowledge conquers fear. And what is doubt? What is unconfidence? It's fear. It's only a form of fear. Yes or yes or yes. The more knowledge you have, the more experience experience you have, the less fear you'll have. Because knowledge conquers fear. So yes, absolutely, please, if you, if you enjoy our stuff, learn from me, learn from us. If you enjoy other people's stuff and it resonates with you, learn from them. Okay? But learn, learn, learn. Because knowledge conquers what? Fear. Thank you. We want to be starting small. There's no use starting anything big. Okay, and why do that? One of my favorite quotes is my own quote, and it says this. Listen closely now. This can change your life. It changed my life, all right? And that's why I kind of like created, it came through me. It says this. One step in the right direction is worth a hundred years of thinking about it. Let me repeat that. One step in the right direction is worth a hundred years of thinking about it. So start small, take a small step, a little 3.5 mile an hour step. That's all you have to do. Now Newton said this. He said a body in motion will tend to remain in motion while a body at rest will tend to remain at rest. And so it's all about momentum, getting some momentum. And as you're doing well, what happens, you get doing well, momentum. So here I am, 3.5 miles an hour. We're doing pretty good here. Let me just pump it up just a little bit because I have a little more, what? Confidence, right? Because I've already had experience. This little thing, it's working. All right, so here I am, and now I'm going up to, you know, I'm going up to four miles an hour. Woohoo. Actually, I went to 4.9. Wow, we're flying. And that's how it works in every area of your life. You take a little thing, you get in the game, you start small, and you allow momentum to work with you. Now the last thing I want to say about this idea of confidence is simply that as we said earlier, it's all about trusting. Who? Yourself. And, and so if we all, if we know that our mind, our protective mechanism, mind has a voice, right? And what are some of the phrases that your voice will tell you? Right? It says, in doubt, this might not work. What if I can't handle it? What if it fails? And what's gonna happen then? Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Why me you know, all that kind of st. So it's going to do its regular chatter, chatter make you afraid so you don't. So you don't get out of your comfort zone. Right. Because if you don't get out of your comfort zone, then your mind's like chilling out. Yeah, everything's cool here where this is easy, no problem. But the minute you get out of your comfort zone, it starts to, oh, look up. Because it wants to protect you. So it wants to keep you in familiar territory. Does that make sense? All right, so what do you do to combat that? Self talk. See your original self talk from your mind was, this isn't going to work. I'm not sure, you know, didn't work before. How do I know? I don't want to waste my time. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's your self talk question. Is it helpful? It doesn't help you take any action, does it? It puts you into fear and paralyzes you. What do you have to do? You have, have to manage. What's the word? Manage your own mind. One of the big things that people know me for is this understanding. It says, don't believe a thought. You think just because it comes out of your head, your thought, it doesn't make it true. It just in this case is a bodyguard that's doing its job. You don't have to believe the bodyguard. You can simply say, what? Thank you for sharing. But hey, we got this, we got this, we can do this. You've got to start talking to yourself in a supportive way. And if you, if you, a lot of people talk to themselves in very, very derogatory manner. And that is one sure way to be unsuccessful and unhappy. You cannot make yourself more unhappy than to continue to beat yourself up or tell yourself things that are fear based. Tell yourself things about what you can't do, what what you shouldn't do, etc. Etc. And that will drive you crazy. You know what it feels like? It feels like, excuse my language, it feels complete shit. Right? You know, you feel like shit because you've talked yourself into feeling like shit. All right, so what do you do? You would do what a coach would do. You would pump yourself up. You would tell yourself positive things. Then you're going to say, so you say, hey, we got this, we can do this. Trust yourself. Now this is one thing people ask me all the time because I have over 3 million students. They go, but Harv, what if I really don't know? And what if it does go sideways? This is what you have to trust. Trust you can handle whatever happens at the time. Trust, you can handle whatever happens at the time. So let's say like I had 10 businesses that didn't work. And what happened? I was broke, broke, broke, broke. As many of you know my story. But you know what? I didn't die. I didn't die, okay? I was upset, I was frustrated, I was unhappy. I couldn't get the things I wanted. I had to choose between having dinner that night and putting $5 of gas in my car. Was it comfortable? No. Was it embarrassing? Yes. Was it something that I wanted for myself? No. But what happened? I didn't die. All right, so you mope and you groan and whatever. Then you get yourself in a better place. And you do what? You start again. What else are you going to do? So you trust yourself that whatever happens, even if you go broke, bankrupt, finished, do your, your thing, chill out for a while, get your strength back and move again, go again. And you just keep on doing that. And that's what happened to me. And that's why you're watching me in this, you know, hundred and $50,000 toy that my wife got me for a little gift for my birthday. You know, it's all because I believe that, that when push comes to shove, I can handle what happens, you know, if it happens. And you will be able to handle it, you know that you're, you're a survivor. You're not going to die, okay? May not be uncomfortable, but you can handle it. So that's the big thing about confidence. Confidence, confidera. To trust oneself, knowing that I can handle whatever happens at that time. And if you can do that, if you can start small and gain experiences, if you can learn, learn, learn, gain knowledge and more knowledge and more knowledge. Because knowledge conquers fear. If you can get momentum going by your experiences and by your knowledge, and if you can simply trust yourself that whatever happens, you will be able to handle it. And you do that by changing your self talk from, oh, I don't know, I'm not sure. What if, what if, what if? Which is the normal conversation for the mind to hey, we got this. Let's do it, let's go for it. We can handle it. We can. And whatever happens, we'll be able to make it, make it work. Okay? If you can do that, you too will gain confidence. And when you have that, the world opens up. I hope you enjoyed this video. It.