T. Harv Eker breaks down three steps to stop people-pleasing: recognize the behavior, trace it back to your early need for approval, then retrain yourself to say no without explaining why. The key is acting with authenticity instead of seeking permission.
The first thing is the awareness of what you're doing that is the, is the issue. A lot of the times it's not what you're doing, it's how you're doing it, right? The second thing is the understanding where it comes from. It comes from everybody. The same place it comes from. When you're a baby, you needed approval in order to survive. You're still playing the same game, that's all. No big deal. But the third thing is understanding is that you don't need that anymore. If this person doesn't like you, you're not going to die, probably. Okay? Get it? Period. They might not do something for you or they may not like you. Who gives a shit? You're not dying, okay? Someone doesn't like you, so what? Okay, there's only 780 billion more people to give a shot to, right? No big deal. But when it runs your life, it's a problem. So number one, awareness, number two, understanding, Number three, recondition. It's a practice. It's a way of coming into things. It's an ability to be able to say yes or no based on your authenticity and who you are and in your own integrity of what you really want. And be able to, I always said in the million, the true courage, true integrity is being able to decline an invitation for dinner without giving a reason. That's power. That's true power. That's true integrity.
