Harvey Mackay Column- It Is Better To Forgive And Forget Than To Resent And Remember
Harvey Mackay’s advice column argues that forgiveness is essential for personal and professional growth. He begins with a personal story of a trusted business partner who tried to cut him out of a deal, describing his initial anger and the decision to take the high road. Mackay then outlines a structured forgiveness process: acknowledging hurt, empathizing with the offender’s perspective, releasing the grudge, focusing on future goals, and forgiving oneself. He emphasizes that forgiveness does not mean forgetting or tolerating ongoing bad behavior; instead, it requires setting clear boundaries, communicating openly, and seeking support from mentors or coaches. A child‑like apology anecdote illustrates the danger of superficial forgiveness. The column concludes with a moral that true forgiveness frees one from resentment while keeping the “hatchet” properly handled.
Topics
Partner Betrayal and the Decision to Forgive
A personal anecdote where a trusted business partner attempted to cut Mackay out of a deal, triggering anger and prompting a conscious choice to forgive.
Structured Forgiveness Framework for Business Professionals
A step‑by‑step guide: acknowledge hurt, understand the other side, release the grudge, focus on future goals, and forgive oneself.
Setting New Boundaries After Forgiveness
Explanation that forgiveness does not erase the offense; it requires clear boundaries, communication of tolerable behavior, and a redefined professional relationship.
Communication, Mentorship, and Support as Forgiveness Tools
Recommendations to have candid conversations, use written notes if needed, and seek perspective from mentors, coaches, or trusted colleagues.
Adult vs. Child Perspectives on Forgiveness
A mother‑and‑children anecdote used to critique superficial apologies and highlight the need for genuine emotional processing in adult forgiveness.
Mackay’s Moral: True Forgiveness Without Hidden Resentment
The concluding principle that authentic forgiveness frees one from the burden of resentment while ensuring the conflict is properly resolved.