Freedom from Addictive & Compulsive Behaviours with Thomas Brosnan MSc, MBACP, FDAP

Hi everyone and welcome to this live today with me, Heather Prince, and we are going to talk today about addiction with an expert that I'm very pleased to welcome. Thomas, welcome today where you're going to share with us a little bit about your expertise in addiction. So For anyone that's watching, Thomas, that hasn't met you before, let's hear about you.

So, hi Heather, firstly, and thank you for having me today. So for those of you that don't know me, my name is Thomas Brosnan. I am a psychotherapist, a behaviour change expert, and I specialise in addiction and relationships.

Brilliant. So what kind of addiction, Thomas, is most common that you're dealing with on a daily basis?

That's a really good question. I would say probably cocaine and alcohol with my older client population, and by older I mean kind of like 30+, late 20s, early 30+, and with my younger kind of clients, because I work with children, adolescents, and adults. With the younger children, it's certainly, let's say, preteen, it's more around behavior. And then with those sort of teenagers, it's really helping them to, to kind of navigate their way through with what they're experiencing, whether it's taking their exams, the pressures of school, parents. expectations as well. Their lives are very heavily loaded, so there's different kind of presentations given the different, you know, range of demographic.

So is cocaine the main kind of drug that's popular right now in our culture?

I think it's a drug that's been popular for a very long time, but I think different people might use it in different ways. As well, some people might use it more recreationally, some people might use it as a way of kind of self-soothing and self-medicating. So it really kind of all depends on the individual and their circumstances, but nonetheless, the people I work with have got to that point in their lives where, you know, they're just kind of fed up of being fed up and they want something different. And, and it must cost an awful amount of money per Yeah, depending, as I said, depending on the person, depending on their kind of what they're using for, it could be anything from, you know, a couple of hundred pounds to, you know, several tens of thousands of pounds.

Yeah, so the investment in you is worth its weight in gold.

So I think the investment, like, sorry to cut you there, I was just going to say I think What's more important is the investment that people make in themselves as well. So it's not just about the money that they might spend on therapy, but, you know, think about what people might spend on gym membership, think about what people might spend on food. What we do is ultimately for the benefit of ourselves, one would hope. So yeah, I mean, when you put it in perspective, I don't feel that there's any greater investment than the one we can actually make in ourselves.

Yes, I agree with you. I I do agree with you. So you're a relationship expert, um, and you're working with men and women?

I work with couples. So in terms of like my areas of expertise, it's more so in addiction. Um, behavior change is something that I do have a degree of expertise in, but when we're thinking about like relationships, the relationship therapy came about for me because working in addiction, it's never just a single person that's impacted. There's always a significant other or 2 or 3 or 4, depending on, you know, the person's kind of circle, family, work, etc. So there was a need for me to work with the other, and that's what led me to kind of undertake my couple and relationship therapy training, was to be able to hold that space for the couple that had been impacted by, you know, the person's kind of dependence.

Yeah, because someone can be addicted to another.

Absolutely. A person, place, or thing. Yeah.

Yes, it's interesting, isn't it? Very interesting. And I guess that some relationships are put under enormous pressure if either of the people are addicted to sex with other people.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, relationships have to, in my experience and in my professional opinion, be a fair exchange. And if one person feels that they're not able to receive from the relationship what they would like, then that may contribute to them seeking something outside of that circle.

Yeah, okay. So, um, I know that there's been studies that have shown, um, the agony a person experiences during a breakup, it can trigger the exact part of the brain Um, that stimulated during an addiction withdrawal. Um, so it's been shown that if they've scanned the brain of a person who recently experienced a romantic loss, um, it will look very similar that to somebody that's recently been a cocaine addict. So that's really an eye-opener, isn't it?

Well, it is if you don't know that. Yeah, it absolutely is. But I mean, what you're talking about here is like the psychology of love. And kind of without getting too scientific, it's basically about how a person is impacted neurologically as a result of, you know, a relationship ending.

Yes.

So with any relationship that breaks down or finishes for whatever the reason, whether it's a professional relationship you might have at work, whether it's an intimate relationship you might have with a person, or even a relationship we have with a thing. For example, there were, you know, people who are heavily attached to, you know, certain buildings, certain venues, And when they are no longer there anymore because, you know, they might have been sold off or there's a need to kind of redevelop and expand, people can feel a sense of loss. So there's a detaching, that process of withdrawing, as you say, from that bond that's essentially been created. But there's also a need to adapt as well to, you know, a new environment, a new way of kind of being, having a new status quo, and that takes time.

So you're right, it does. But I, but I understand, Thomas, that you are offering a 24-day sprint to help people with, um, compulsive behaviors as well as addiction. Could you explain a little bit more about who that's for and what they would gain by the end of that 24-day sprint?

Yeah, so this sprint is basically a mind nudging sprint. And, you know, our good friend who's introduced us, Fiona Hills, you know, she has a concept called mind nudging sprints, and she has various ones around leadership, around growth mindset in sales, for example. And having known Fiona for a number of years now, when I actually did her kind of growth mindset one, which was really, really like empowering, really was. And I felt, you know what, we need to do something for addiction. We really do. So that's what Fiona and I have done. We've kind of collaborated very thoughtfully, very carefully, um, to create something which, you know, to the best of my knowledge, having worked in, you know, the addiction field for many, many years now, there isn't anything like it. And we really are trying to bring recovery into the 21st century. So It's more than, you know, let's say recovering, but it's more about uncovering what is innate within all of us. And that's what I believe to be the ability, you know, to be strong, secure, and stable. So this sprint is literally for the person who's in that constant cycle of unhelpful thinking, for that person who might be in that vicious circle of relapse and can't seem to break free from it. It's probably, you know, really well suited for the person who's well into their recovery as well, you know, and would like to take that next step but not sure how. But just to be clear, you know, when I use the word recovery, it's not something that is kind of like exclusive to drugs and alcohol. Recovery for me is more of an umbrella term. It's something that, you know, is, is about getting the person to that place, as I said, where they feel strong, secure, and stable. You know, that's what recovery is. It's about recovery of self. So as I said, whether we've lost a job, whether we've, you know, come out of a relationship, whether we are experiencing a bereavement, you know, it's about recovery of self. That's, you know, fundamentally, you know, what it's about is it's there to nudge people's minds in the direction that they should be going rather than where they have been going. Because if we're always kind of doing what we've always done, thinking in that way, behaving in that way, then what are we going to get? Probably not much else. So something needs to change, and that's what this sprint is— is that one thing that has the potential to change everything.

Yeah, that's amazing, Thomas. So if anyone is watching this and that resonates with them, or you know someone that has, um, compulsive behavior or is addicted, and whether that's eating sugary foods, whether they're addicted to a person that you can see actually isn't of benefit to them, um, for their highest good, whether they're addicted to, as Thomas has explained, um, a situation or a place of work. And things are changing hugely as people are hot desking or even working from home. Anything like that that is affecting you or anyone that you know, um, how can they join Your sprint, Thomas, when does it start and, and how does it work on a daily basis?

So it starts on January the 9th, and what we're doing initially is we're running a beta group, um, purely because, you know, we're doing this for the first time in the field of addiction with Fiona, creating this sprint, and there's a select, uh, cohort that we are, uh, kind of inviting for the beta group. We don't have any more than 12 spaces available at any one time. So beyond January, what we're going to be doing is rolling this out every month. But if people are interested in joining the beta group, then obviously we can put some links, you know, in the notes that we're going to have to accompany this broadcast so people can click onto our landing page. They can find a little bit more about what the Sprint concept is like in general, looking at the other ones, and as well, like, look at the one that's specifically related to finding freedom. You know, from your addictive and compulsive behaviours, and that's what we've titled it.

Fantastic. It's going to be an amazing journey for anyone that wants to join Thomas on this sprint, and we'd love to hear in the future the results of the people that started, where they started, and what they gained after that 24 days. That would be so insightful, won't it? It will.

And we're certainly going to, you know, have some testimonials so people can share that. And what we've got on the landing page are, you know, some testimonials of people who have already worked with me, you know, using my kind of evidence-based approach to, you know, as we call it, recovering. And then when we complement that now with kind of the latest kind of neuroscience around, you know, experiential play that Fiona's kind of, you know, pioneering, when we bring the two together, it really is quite significant. And that's, that's really, you know, how it works, is really helping us to have a new way of looking at an old way of living, and more so an old way of thinking. So it's going to be combining, you know, group coaching sessions on a Monday, and then we're going to bookend the week with one-to-one therapy sessions on a Friday. So people are really supported throughout the week. And then during the week, they're going to get their tasks, they're going to get their missions, as we call it, and then they'll have the opportunity to log into the app, they'll receive their mission, they'll get to complete it, they'll get feedback on other people in the group, what they've done, how they're doing it, and equally have their work fed back on as well. So it very is— so it is very much a community kind of learning experience where we're all in here, we're all learning together. There's no kind of, you know, me or you. It's all about the us, and that's how we learn in that vicarious way. And that's what we're really trying to do is, you know, help people to appreciate the fact that they've got me, their therapist, in their pocket who's completely responsive to them for these 24 days. So, um, sorry, go on.

No, that sounds fantastic. They're fully supported, fully supported without judgment, and everybody around them going through that particular experience at the same time. Wonderful. So for those of you that want to opt in, and as Thomas has just said, there's only room for 12 individuals, uh, the link will be under this video just click on that link. You'll find all the information you need. Um, or if it's not for you, please do share it with someone you know that would greatly benefit from this sprint. Um, and thank you so much, Thomas, for joining me today and sharing this. And I'm so excited because I'm looking forward to hearing at the end of January the results that were gained by those that are ready to start the year off, 2023, with taking the reins into their hands and going to where they wish to go. So thank you, Thomas, it's been a pleasure. And thank you everyone for watching. And those of you watching, um, replay, please do put hashtag replay. If you've got any comments or questions, please do put them under the video and we will get back to you as soon as possible. Take care everyone, and thank you, Thomas.

Thank you, Heather.

Bye. Bye-bye.