Great First Date Questions

Hello and welcome to Lunch and Learn, where today we're going to have a little look at great first date questions for women over the age of 40, because it's a completely different game from when you're a teenager or in your early 20s. So let's have a look at today's Lunch and Learn. Welcome to everyone who hasn't joined me before. For those of you who don't know who I am, my name is Heather Prince and my nickname on social media is the Root Master because I get to the core root of the issue that's going on in your life that's keeping you stuck, keeping you blocked from reaching your full potential. So if you have joined me on YouTube and you'd like to join in the Facebook group, do reach out and I'll send you the link. For those of you watching in my Facebook group, sending much love out to all of you for being here within the group. And those of you watching on the Root Master page, if you're solo and you'd like to come into the Facebook group, private message me and I'll send you The link. So the question is, are you ready to start seriously dating? That's a big question, isn't it? Because how do you know? Sure, anyone can go out on a casual date or two without really impacting your life or the life of the person you went out with, but when things start to get a little more serious, you may need to evaluate if you're really ready to start a serious relationship. So the next big question is, are you truly available and ready? And are you getting involved for the right reasons? So by evaluating yourself first, you can avoid a lot of tears and broken hearts. And when you're ready You will start out with a much healthier relationship. And another question to ask yourself right now is, are you happy with your life? It's a biggie, isn't it? Are you happy with your life? Your happiness does not depend on anyone but yourself. You enjoy your life without a partner and don't have the false hope that someone else will make you happy. It's not someone someone else's job to make you happy. Because when you're happy with your life, you are more likely to enter into a relationship without emotional baggage or unrealistic expectations. You are more likely to take things slow because you know that your happiness does not rely on the relationship working out. And if you're already happy, and regardless of the outcome of a few dates, You will still feel happy, and by being happy on your own first, you will maintain control of your own life, your goals, your needs, and your emotions. And it's really important that you aren't bitter about your ex anymore, because if your previous relationship ended badly or before that you wanted it to, you need to let enough time pass so that you're no longer bitter or resentful towards your ex. And if that time hasn't helped you, then you need to reach out to someone who truly will show you the steps to let go of all of that, um, resentment, shame, guilt, jealousy, whatever it is that's going on for you, so that you can leave the past behind. Because if you start dating again while still carrying hostile feelings The new relationship will already start off with hurdles to jump in order to last. And sometimes it may feel like the best thing to do after a nasty breakup is to get back on the dating scene, but you need to ask yourself if you're doing so for all the wrong reasons. Are you excited About dating, you're probably ready to date seriously if you're feeling excited about the dating part. If you have met someone that you really enjoy spending time with and get excited to see again, you may be ready to take that next step. And if dating is more like a chore, you should probably reevaluate the reasons why you are dating in the first place. Perhaps you should take more time to focus on yourself or look for someone that you have more in common with. Are you financially stable? I know money doesn't dictate happiness by any means, but being financially unfit will make starting a new relationship more difficult. Going through a bankruptcy or losing a job are stressful enough. It would be better for everyone involved if you overcome those obstacles first before starting a relationship with someone new. And starting a relationship in order to get financial help is a big no-no that will end in disaster. Are you flexible? Relationships are a lot of work. 2 completely different people are coming together, and a great deal of flexibility will be required to make it work. You will have to compromise and cooperate with each other, and there will be sacrifices. There are things you will have to give up for your significant other, and you may have to give up a piece of your life in order to meet the time commitment of a serious relationship. Are you ready for that, or are you just starting out in your business and you need to focus on growing your business? Or do you have a young family still living at home that you need to focus on first? So, so really think about, are you flexible to make those compromises? And big one here, are you available to trust? Relationships that don't have trust simply will not survive the rocky road of life. Love is built on trust. And when you trust your partner, you will both have the security to experience the full potential of a loving relationship. If your ability to trust is not available due to your past relationship or experience, you should not enter into a serious relationship yet. Without trust, you will have fear and insecurity, which will result in a broken relationship in the future, because you're going to be at that vibe of fear and insecurity, and you will attract in somebody who also has fear and insecurity. It's not going to last. So work on yourself first and learn to trust again. And are you ready and able to communicate? Because it's underlined here, it's such a biggie. Communication is the key to any successful relationship, whether that's a love relationship, parental, sibling work, whatever, communication is vital. All relationships will have their ups and downs, and the ability to open up to each other will determine if your relationship will live or die. And one of the benefits of being in a serious relationship is having the ability to be completely vulnerable and open with someone you love, and healthy communication styles require practice and hard work. You have to be willing and open to talk and listen before beginning a new relationship if you want the connection to last. We all know that dating is an important part of adult life, and getting into a new relationship after you've been with somebody 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, maybe 25 5 years. With me, it was 34 years I'd been with my first love, um, and it can be scary. I've stood in those shoes, and difficult and exciting all at the same time. And we enter meaningful relationships that end up shaping our lives and building the people we ultimately become. So while dating, it can be fun and it can be casual, entering into a serious committed relationship is something that takes a lot forethought, because yours and your partner's feelings are on the line, and you should be completely ready for the experience before starting down that road. And take a step back and evaluate yourself first, and by doing so, you can avoid future heartbreak and have a healthier relationship from the start. And on my website, you will find a quiz With the question, are you ready for dating yet? So let's get to the facts here. The question that you asked in the group and wanted to know about is, what do I talk about on a first date? And great question is, how much should you share on a first date? Um, so do stick to the facts. Share some personal details like what you do as a family Christmas tradition, for example, or what you're proud about at work. And in fact, doing so can up how much that you like each other because there was research done by Illinois State University that being similar can, can up that feeling by about 8 to 22%. So stick to the facts and share something personal and see how that makes you feel. Um, should I date someone with different values is another great question before we get into what you're going to talk about, because a relationship where one person is open-minded stands a better chance of overcoming different values than one where each person is resolute in their stance. And where both partners are open-minded, it can lead to interesting and even enjoyable exchanges of ideas and perspectives on the world. Now, shared values keep you together during the difficult times, and it will bring you joy during the high points of your relationship. And although values can be tweaked, they can't be changed. They define who you are, and couples must share similar values, otherwise you're going to live in perpetual disappointment and resentment. So if you want to find out what your values are, um, think about what is important to you Is it having the freedom to go out with your crowd of friends still? And should you meet someone who loves the freedom of going fishing on their own or going mountain climbing with a group of friends, you both share that value of having freedom within the relationship. Not quite sure? Don't hesitate to reach out and have a clarity call with me, and you can find out that link on my website. What to talk about on a first date is all about showing interest in the other person. So you can discuss your favorite films, TV shows, books. You know, what is it that they enjoy doing in their spare time, watching and reading? Chat about your hobbies. Do you like going, um, out jogging, or do you like, um, going to the local wine tasting club, or perhaps you belong to the local book club? You know, share that. And what do they do for fun? And have a conversation about travel. Um, do you like going and having a beach holiday and laying there sunbathing, or do you like going on weekend breaks and looking around places you've never visited before? Do you share anything in common? Discuss about your favourite music. What do they like? What do you like? Would you like to go to the same concerts together? So all of that just opens up so much that you can chat about. Draw parallel— parallels between their experiences and interests and your own. Maybe they went to the same concert that you went to a year or two, or maybe 2 years ago in the current situation, um, and maybe you didn't realize you, you, you, you're both there but you didn't know each other. Um, and another thing, instead of asking, what do you do, ask, how did you decide to get into this line of work? When did you know this was what you wanted to do? And is there anyone who inspired you to pursue your career or stick it out, though you may have faced challenges? If so, what's the story there? And getting your date to elaborate will reveal more about their personality and interests, because in this example, you're looking for more information about their background and their line of thinking rather than just a description of their job. And pay attention to how they respond to you, because to determine if your person of interest is relational or self-centered, note if they inquire about you at all. And when you answer, do they immediately turn it into talking about themselves, or can they stay on you for any time at all? Remember, there could also be nerves involved, and often it's, it's easier to ramble when you're nervous, but this is something still worthy of noticing. And it's also important to listen to their actual answers. A person's responses can often show their true selves. For example, if you ask how long they've been on a dating site and what their experiences been, are they saying belittling things like, oh, there are so many idiots out there, or are they more level-headed with responses such as, well, I've met some nice people and had some good experiences, and of course some that weren't? And focusing on conversation patterns like this is an essential tip to gauge their character. So I hope that you have had an insight into are you ready to date yet and what kind of conversational questions you can bring up as topics when you meet someone that you've never met before. And if anything resonated with you about still carrying some baggage from a previous relationship, You can opt into my freebies. There's a meditation audio there on forgiving your ex. There's a workbook all about feeling lonely, and there's an affirmation audio podcast of I Am Enough. Because if you're thinking, oh, I'm, I'm not young enough, I'm not slim enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not clever enough, whatever it is, that is a great podcast to listen to and repeat So that you re-message your belief of actually, I am enough. That's all available on my website, as you can see here, is www.therootmaster.com. And if anything is private and confidential and you want to email me, just email heather@heatherprince.co.uk. Thank you so much for listening. If you're watching this on YouTube, Click below so that you won't miss any further videos from me. You'll be notified. And if you're watching this on Facebook, do comment and share what you've gained from it. And if you know anyone that would benefit from this video, do please pass it on to them. Thank you so much. Sending you all so much love. Take care. Bye-bye.