MINDFULNESS FOR LEADERSHIP

Hi, my name is Heather Prince and I'm the Root Master, getting to the root of your problems. In my last video, I spoke about what mindfulness is. Now I'd like to share how to improve yourself. So I have a question for you. Have you ever felt uncomfortable on a dance floor? Are your movements kind of awkward? Do you feel like people are judging you? Do you wonder what to do with your arms? You want to let go but you can't because you know you'd look ridiculous. Everyone says to you, loosen up, no one's watching, everyone's too busy worrying about themselves, just let go and and let yourself be in the flow. Thinking too hard about what you're doing actually makes you do worse. If you're in a situation that makes you anxious, such as giving a speech, introducing yourself to a stranger, dancing on the dance floor at a function, whatever, focusing on your anxiety tends to heighten it. The key is to focus less on what's going on in your mind and more on what's going on in the room. Less on your mental monkey mind chatter and more on yourself. Indeed, mindfulness blurs the line between self and others. When people are mindful, they're more likely to experience themselves as part of humanity, as part of a greater universe. That's why highly mindful people such as Buddhist monks talk about being one with everything. By reducing self-consciousness, mindfulness allows you to witness the passing drama of feelings and social pressures. Focusing on the present moment also forces you to stop overthinking. Instead of getting stuck in your head, and worrying, you can let yourself go by being in the moment. Often we're so trapped in thoughts of the future or the past that we forget to experience, let alone enjoy, what's happening right now. Instead, relish whatever you're doing at the present moment, what psychologists call savouring. This could be while you're eating a croissant, taking a shower, Or just sitting out in the sun. You could be savouring a success or savouring music. Usually it involves your senses. When people in a study took a few minutes each day to mindfully savour something that they usually hurried through— eating a meal, drinking a glass of wine, or even just walking to the station— they began experiencing more joy, happiness, and other positive emotions, and fewer depressive symptoms. Why does living in the moment make people happier, not just at the moment they're tasting the melting chocolate dissolving on their tongue, but lastingly? Because most negative thoughts concern the past or the future. The hallmark of depression and anxiety is catastrophizing, Worrying about something that hasn't happened yet or might not happen at all. Worry by its very nature means thinking about the future, and if you hoist yourself into awareness of the present moment, worrying melts away. The flip side of worrying is ruminating, thinking bleakly about events in the past, and again, If you press your focus into the now, rumination ceases. Savoring forces you into the present so you can't worry about things that aren't there. Living consciously with alert interest has a powerful effect on interpersonal life. Mindfulness actually inoculates people against aggressive behavior. How does being in the moment make you less aggressive? Mindfulness decreases the ego involvement, therefore people are less likely to link their self-esteem to events and more likely to take things at face value. Mindfulness also makes people feel more connected to other people, that empathic feeling of being at one with the universe. Mindfulness boosts your awareness of how you interpret and react to what's happening in your mind. It increases the gap between emotional impulse, that knee-jerk reaction, and the action, allowing you to do what Buddhists call recognizing the spark before the flame. Focusing on the present reboots your mind so you can respond thoughtfully rather than automatically. Instead of lashing out in anger, backing down in fear, or mindlessly indulging a passing craving, you get the opportunity to say to yourself, this is the emotion I'm feeling. How should I respond? Mindfulness increases self-control. Since you're not getting thrown by threats to your self-esteem, you're better able to regulate your behavior. That's the other irony. Inhabiting your own mind more fully has a powerful effect on your interactions with others. Maybe during a flare-up with your significant other, there's a simple exercise you can do anywhere, anytime to induce mindfulness. Breathe. There's no better way to bring yourself into the present moment than to focus on your breathing. Because you're placing your awareness on what's happening right now, you propel yourself powerfully into the present moment. For many, focusing on the breath is the preferred method of orienting themselves to the now, not because the breath has some magical property, but because it's always there with you. Now I've just recently put a video on Facebook about being in the flow because perhaps the most complete way of living in the moment is the state of total absorption psychologists call flow. Flow occurs when you're so engrossed in a task that you lose track of everything else around you. Flow embodies an apparent paradox. How can you be living in the moment if you're not even aware of the moment? The depth of engagement absorbs you powerfully, keeping attention so focused that distractions cannot penetrate. You focus so intensely on what you're doing that you're unaware of the passage of time. Hours can pass without you noticing. Flow is an elusive state. As with romance or sleep, you can't just will yourself into it. All you can do is set the stage, creating the optimal conditions for it to occur. And the first requirement for flow is to set a goal that's challenging but not unattainable, something you have to hone your resources and stretch yourself to achieve. The task should be matched to your ability level not so difficult that you'll feel stressed, but not so easy that you'll get bored. In flow, you're firing on all cylinders to rise to a challenge. To set the stage for flow, goals need to be clearly defined so that you always know your next step. It could be playing the next bar in a scroll of music, or finding the next foothold if you're a rock climber. Or turning the page if you're reading a good novel. You also need to set up the task in such a way that you receive direct and immediate feedback with your successes and your failures clear. You can seamlessly adjust your behavior. A climber on the mountain knows immediately if his foothold is secure. A pianist knows instantly when she's played the wrong note. As your attentional focus narrows, self-consciousness evaporates. You feel as if your awareness merges with the action you're performing. You feel a sense of personal mastery over the situation, and the activity is so intrinsically rewarding that although the task is difficult, action feels effortless. In my next video, I will be talking about how to cope with emotional pain and how we zone out and become mindless. I'll speak to you in video 3. This is Heather Prince, The Root Monster.