Heather Prince explains why one partner's openness doesn't guarantee the other will reciprocate. She argues that vulnerability can't be demanded, only invited, and that asking
Chapters
And we've— we always talk about vulnerability because a common dynamic I see in, in relationships is there's always one person who openly shares their feelings. You know, they're what we call an open book. Um, they share, you know, the good stuff and the not so good stuff, and then they sit there and complain that the other person doesn't share in the same way. And they might actually, you know, voice it to them and say, why won't you talk to me? Um, you should be able to tell me anything. Um, and then they question, well, don't you trust me? Um, because for them, emotion speak is the expression of intimacy, um, and the other person's silence they look at as avoidance and distance, and it clashes with their belief that we shouldn't have to experience rejection in intimate relationships. And they say, I tell you everything and you share nothing with me. Does that ring a bell with any of you? Please do comment if it does. Now, much as it hurts, we are not entitled to unrestricted access into the private thoughts of our loved ones. So while we can invite someone to be vulnerable with us, we can't force it. And while we can ask for an invitation into our partner's inner life. You know, we can say, what, what's on your mind? We can't demand admittance.
