Many adults unconsciously replay love stories shaped by cultural conditioning rather than their real needs. The speaker offers two concrete practices: identify what personally evokes love for you and attend to that feeling regularly, and integrate a weekly act of self-love done purely for pleasure, without obligation.
Chapters
How to rewrite your love story. When it comes to romantic love in particular, we're fed stories about how this should look and feel from the age we first understand the concept of happily ever after, with all kinds of family and social conditioning and life experiences layered on top. As a result, by the time we're adults, We're often living out love stories that are more about what we've learned about love than what we truly need and desire in our relationships, entirely unconsciously. The answer is rewriting the story. Think of it as a combination of journaling, behavioral therapy, and some heavy-duty self-reflection. We're often living out love stories that are more about what we've learned about love than what we truly need and desire in our relationships, entirely unconsciously. Rewriting your love story is first claiming the one you've lived. Maybe it's that only unavailable people go after you, or the story that you help or fix others. At some point, you may want to rewrite that. So first we look at the story, how it plays out and where it's coming from, and then how to best use it in a healthy way and/or release it. In other words, it's about figuring out what your true needs and desires are— cue some major honesty with yourself— and then preparing to fold them into your decision-making going forward. And no, it's not only single ladies who could benefit from this practice. I'd recommend you do this if you feel blocks in your relationships, if in relationships you feel like you give your whole self away, when you notice repetitive painful patterns, or if you're the type of person who finds yourself saying, I will never be in a relationship, I will never find love, I will never get married. A key sign that it's a good time to do this work is that you feel like you're getting into the same romantic situation over and over again, and it's one that doesn't suit what your heart wants. In my opinion, there's no one who wouldn't benefit from this work. When you do it, the feeling of freedom is so incredible. You can breathe deeper. You finally feel like you get it. The one thing you should have at the ready— Someone to make sure you get to the other side okay. It's not easy to go digging in there. That's why I recommend doing it with someone like myself. A lot can come up and you have to have the support to deal with it. But when you do it, the feeling of freedom is so incredible. So whether you're reeling from a breakup or wanting to get a bit more out of your happily ever after situation, here are 2 ways to rewrite your love story. Let's look at number 1: find out what your own love looks like. What are things that make you feel love? Seeing the smile of a baby? Butterflies? Hugs? A pet? Any particular scents? Any People who just make you light up. Whenever you feel a little stirring of love in your heart, take time to be with it. Feel that vibration of love. Let it reset your heart. Let it be nourishment. And number 2, begin incorporating an act of self-love into your daily life. You've heard it before and you'll hear it again— self-love is crucial. But what does that really mean? Incorporate one practice into your weekly routine that is just for you, that is a complete act of self-love. Maybe that's buying yourself flowers for your home or your desk. Maybe it's taking yourself out to be part of a choir once a week. Maybe it's pampering yourself with a massage that you wouldn't normally book. Whatever the activity you choose, it should have no shoulds behind it. It's nothing you should do, only something you love to do. Make the commitment to do and keep doing this romantic and loving thing for yourself. Need help? Contact me, www.therootmaster.com.
