In this live coaching-style talk, Heather Prince addresses the central role of trust in all relationships and outlines six practical strategies for building and maintaining it. She begins by emphasizing how common betrayals erode trust and why inner work is essential before seeking new partners, offering a free "Are you really ready to date?" quiz on her website. The six strategies she details are: (1) clear, calm communication; (2) unwavering honesty; (3) setting and respecting personal boundaries; (4) keeping promises or refraining from making them; (5) taking responsibility for mistakes and seeking forgiveness; and (6) embracing vulnerability and managing anger. Throughout, she links these strategies to attachment styles, explains how mistrust can manifest as resentment and disease, and provides concrete behavioral tips (e.g., breathing before speaking when angry). She invites audience interaction via comments, promotes her coaching services, and provides contact information and website links. The talk concludes with an encouraging call to trust oneself and others, emphasizing that trust is an irreplaceable element of healthy relationships.
Chapters
Hello and welcome. For those of you that don't know who I am, my name is Heather Prince. I'm just adjusting the microphone here, so I hope that you can hear me. And, um, it's time. I don't know where the weeks are going. It's so fast, isn't it? It's Tuesday again, and we have the talk where I invite you to join me and to comment. So if you comment, please do put your name if you haven't given StreamYard your permission, because it's lovely to know who I am receiving comments from. And if you are not in the UK and you're watching this in your own time wherever you are, then just put hashtag replay and let me know whether anything that I'm sharing is again for you, is relevant for you. So we're going to be looking today at 6 strategies to build and maintain trust in relationships. I've been talking to a lot of women in the last 6 weeks, and it comes up time and time again that something has happened where they don't trust the other person, or indeed trust themselves to make a decision because they feel that they picked a wrong'un. And then they think that they just jump on a dating site so that they can pick a right'un. But that doesn't work. It doesn't work. Um, work— inner work needs to be done before you're out there on the dating scene. So if any of you are watching this and and you're not quite sure if you're ready to date yet, if you go to my website, which I will give you the address at the end of this talk, then you will find a free quiz to see are you really ready to date yet. Because people that don't get the results that they want, you're not ready yet. You need to up your, your vibe. Okay, so let's have a look at the 6 strategies to build and maintain trust in relationships. Now, the importance of trust in all types of relationships cannot be overemphasized, yet most of us have been betrayed by the people we trusted at least once in our lives. Does that resonate with you? And as a result, we tend to dwell on how we can effectively handle relationships once trust has been broken. And oftentimes we act as though the moment we meet We start to trust them. We forget that trust is built, and if we do some reflection, we might realise that we don't even know how to build trust. So in the talk today, we will explore some of the fundamentals which are essential in building and maintaining trust. And I do like a quote. And Edith Hamilton said, love cannot live where there is no trust. Do you agree or disagree? Please do write down in the comments, do you agree with that love cannot live where there is no trust? Personally, I agree with it. I think that if there is no trust there, that love gets pushed way aside. Sometimes we have moments where we feel like we're unable to trust our partners. It could be because they're coming home late, they're spending so much time on the phone, or just our gut feeling. And if you ignore that feeling, it continues building and you resent your partner more every day, and resentment doesn't hurt them, but it sure hurts you because resentment and emotions similar to that create dis-ease, disease, and that's the last thing you want. So rather open up and talk about these concerns, let them know how their behaviour is affecting you, and give them a platform to explain themselves. So there's no need to raise your voice, there's no need to shout, because being in control when you're communicating in a calm way is much more stable than losing it and ranting and raving. And then zip up and allow them to explain what's been going on. Hello, could you put your name please so that I know who's watching? Um, So there we go. The key thing there is communication, communication, communication. And even if I'm not working with a solo client, but I'm working with a client that relationship has gone a little bit dodgy, I always say communication is the key to going forward. So Having a conversation with your partner is useless unless both of you are not honest. When having such an important or any conversation, there is no need for both of you to be— there is a need, beg your pardon, for both of you to be honest with both how you are feeling and the facts of the events. So honesty is the key here, because if you can't be honest with each other, then you're not gonna— you're not gonna have that trust. And when you know that your partner is always honest, it's easier to believe everything they tell you, and those feelings of mistrust can effectively be dealt with. And if you expect your partner to be honest, You need to create an environment where they can be honest without being judged. Have an open mind and be ready to accept anything and everything that your partner tells you. And sometimes it might not be what you want to hear, but it will be the truth that you have to accept. So it's about taking a step back and making a choice that you're not going to be judgmental. You're just going to listen. And as long as they share the truth, you'll have the strength to deal with it, whatever they're going to share with you. It's essential for both parties to set and communicate their boundaries. You know, what is acceptable, how far can they go, and where is that boundary that actually they've gone over it, they've gone over your boundary. And both people also need to actively work towards respecting those boundaries And if your partner needs some alone time, say every Sunday afternoon, let them have that and do not overstep that boundary. Boundaries allow everyone involved to be comfortable in the relationship knowing that their partner recognizes and respects the boundaries that they have in place. So again, the communication for you both to understand each of each other's boundaries. So important. If promises are constantly broken, it's difficult to build and maintain trust. Imagine if when you were younger, your parents kept telling you that you were going to go to Disney World in the next month, but they never actually take you there, or they didn't take you there. And the first few times you got excited because you trusted them, but if they continued not keeping that promise, you start hurting and not believing them. Even if your mum, for example, told you she would bring you ice cream from the supermarket, you would not necessarily believe her because she's let you down. And the same is also applicable in relationships. If you constantly fail to live up to your word, you give your partner a reason not to trust you. This will make it hard for them to believe you even when you say the truth. So if you make a promise, you have to see it through. Otherwise, don't make it. That goes with a partner, it goes with children, it goes with anybody because it's really important that you set that level of keeping a promise. And sometimes we mess up. We're human. It's okay to mess up. But once we've done so, We need to be able to acknowledge and take ownership of our mistakes and then ask for our partner's forgiveness. Many of us find this difficult to do, and we're quick to point fingers at people or circumstances that drove us to make the mistake. We never acknowledge that we were wrong and try to convince our partners that if circumstances had been different, we wouldn't have made the mistakes we made. It's all about taking on the cloak— what I call the cloak of responsibility being responsible for our actions and accepting cause and effect. So depending on how we're raised, we all have different attachment styles which influence our ability to trust others, and some people have trust issues which are defined as difficulties in trusting others. And sadly, we can't change the past, But we can change the future. Yes, the first step would be for you to understand why you have these issues and then work towards trusting yourself, and this will make it easier for you to trust others. And being vulnerable can be scary, but it is essential when building and maintaining trust in relationships. Sometimes we have to put our defence mechanisms aside and rationally deal with conflicts and concerns As they arise. Trust is an irreplaceable element of relationships that can't be compromised. Both parties have to effectively work towards ensuring that there is trust in the relationship. So what can you do? You can take a breath before saying anything when you're angry. It's so important to give your mind the time to process what's happening rather than a knee-jerk reaction. And anger is an intense emotion that completely overwhelms you, and what comes out your mouth can't be put back. So are you solo, and has anything that I've said resonated with you? Do you have trust issues? Because coaching with me is an excellent way to help you overcome the challenging aspects of trust issues in relationships. So if you wish to speak with me, you can email me at heather@heatherprince.co.uk. And if you want to look at my website, and if you do want to do Am I Really Ready to Date Yet, you can go to www therootmaster .com. Because if you don't address your stuff and you don't trust you and you don't trust others, you're not going to be on a win-win situation. And I'm sure that at the end of the day in 2023, you do want to trust yourself and trust others and have somebody holding your hand that's at your level. So sending you lots of love. Thank you for watching the talk, and I look forward to reading all your comments because this is all about you telling me whether I'm sharing things that are helpful to you. So take care everyone and have a great week. Bye-bye.
