Brian Johnson breaks down Dale Carnegie's first rule from How to Win Friends and Influence People: don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Carnegie's advice is simple: if you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive. Johnson suggests trying a single day without criticizing anyone to feel the difference it makes.
Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another optimize plus one. In our last couple 1s we had fun taking beams out of our own eyes rather than worrying about the motes of sawdust in other people's eyes while writing prescriptions for ourselves rather than for our neighbors. Today I'd like to continue that theme with some wisdom from one of the all time best selling books in self development history, how to Win Friends and Influence People. As I mentioned in our plus one on how to Stop Worrying, I actually resisted reading this book for a long time for a number of reasons. The title turned me off. Then I got over myself and loved the book. So want to win friends and influence people? Or stated a little differently, want to optimize your connections with people? Me too. Here's Rule number one. Don't criticize people. Period. Technically, Dale Carnegie tells us that principle number one is don't criticize, condemn, or complain. The first section of his book is called Fundamental Techniques in Handling People. Chapter one is called if you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive. Here's how he puts it. I quote do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good. That is fine. I am all in favor of it, but why not begin with yourself? He says, from a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others. Yes, and a lot less dangerous. He says, don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof, said Confucius when your own doorstep is unclean. So want to avoid kicking over the old beehive one more time. Don't criticize, condemn or complain. That's today's plus one. See if you can go all day without criticizing, condemning or complaining. It's harder than you may think. Good luck with that. And here's to leaving the beehive alone, lest we get stung.
