Heroic Interview: Mental Toughness Training with Jason Selk

Jason Selk teaches mental toughness as staying focused on solutions under pressure. He walks through the centering breath (inhale 6 seconds, hold 2, exhale 7), process goals over product goals, and writing down goals, which increases follow-through by 900%. The core move: stop thinking about the problem and ask what one thing you could do differently to make it better.
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You're listening to Mental Toughness Training an.
Optimal Living interview with Jason Selk and Brian Johnson.
Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to the Optimal Living Interview series. Today I am thrilled to be chatting with Jason Selk. Jason is one of the world's leading mental toughness training experts. He's the mental training coach for the St. Louis Cardinals in the and one of the world's leading peak performance consultants and coaches. His tagline on his website I think is the coolest tagline I've ever read, which is the relentless pursuit of greatness. I've been deeply inspired by his 10 minute toughness and executive toughness, and he's just extraordinary. So, Jason, I really appreciate you taking the time to chat today and I'm excited to explore some great big ideas.
Well, Brian, thanks for the kind words. It's a pleasure to be with you.
Well, let's jump straight in. Start from the. From the top. What does it mean to be mentally tough?
Well, I think that's a million dollar question right there. And I've thought about it for the last 20 years. I still to this day think about it and wrestle with it. I've got notes all over my office. What is mental toughness? And if I had to answer today, and this has been a pretty consistent thought of mine for the last 15, 20 years, really is the mind's ability to deal with adversity. Again, I think, to use a baseball analogy, it's really easy to be mentally tough when you're ahead by three, four runs on the scoreboard. But when it's the bottom of the eighth inning, bottom of the ninth inning, and you're losing by two runs, three runs, I think that's where you really get to see whether a person has mental toughness or not. So a clean definition. Mental toughness is the mind's ability to stay focused on solutions, especially in the face of adversity.
I can't think of many more important traits than that. Eh, well, let's talk about some of the fundamentals that go into toughness training. And you mentioned the books are distinct. So I highly recommend both. 10 minute toughness, which is. Would you say that's more geared toward athletes, obviously general performance, but a little bit more toward athletes?
Yeah, without a doubt. When I wrote 10 Minute Toughness, I was just starting with the St. Louis Cardinals. So this was back in 2006. It was my first year with the team. And that book was written 100% for athletes. In fact, it really was written for the pro athletes I was working with. And it still is to this day. The mental training plan that I use with the pro athletes that I work with now, one of the things that I didn't anticipate was that it really works for athletes, even younger ages. And I'd say that really kind of your start age for 10 minute toughness would be about 12 years old. And that's really based on the development of the brain. You could certainly take smaller bites with someone younger, but I really wouldn't try to have them doing mental workouts or some of the more detailed things in 10 minute toughness. But certainly 10 minute toughness was written for the athletes. And then executive toughness, which I wrote three or four years later, is more for people in the business world, more for general life.
Yep. And I'll say, just as a non athlete, I got so much out of both. And 10 minute toughness, I think, really works for anyone who aspires to create an optimal life and actualize their potential and, as you say, pursue greatness. But let's talk about some of my favorite ideas from each of those. I want to start with. I was joking with you that before I do these interviews, I take a deep breath and I always say to our guests, I'm going to take a deep breath and come back on and we'll be recording. And I jokingly said to you that I'm going to do your breath because your style of breathing is what I've integrated into my life. And I've shared with our community quite a bit that you're the one who inspired me to do the six, two, seven breath. Can you talk to us about the importance of breath as it relates to mental toughness?
Yeah, absolutely. And here's what we know, that when a person enters a performance, the body's natural response is to have the heart rate elevate. Now, this is oftentimes referred to as performance anxiety and has a negative connotation for the right reason. Because what happens the natural response to performance. So whether you're about to start an interview on the air or whether you're about to move from the practice tee to the first tee box, or whether you're about to throw the first pitch in the game, the natural response, the way your body biologically gets ready for that, is it increases the heart rate. Now, the problem with that is that as your heart rate increases, your mind disables itself and again, it goes back to fight or flight. It's completely biological. But it is very, very negative and counterproductive for performance to have your brain disable itself, you move away from the ability for detailed thought. I think over the years, especially as the level of performance increases, it becomes so much more important to keep our brains operating optimally. So what you want to do to control that performance anxiety or natural response to performance is control the biology. Control the heart rate. Taking a centering breath, that's what it's called, where you breathe in for six seconds, hold for two and breathe out for seven. What happens is you breathe deeply enough that air gets into the diaphragm and that has a biological controlling effect on your heart rate. Thus you can enter into the performance and still have your biology intact as well as your mental capacity. Again, I'll give you an example. How many times does it happen where a person on the driving range and they're hitting it long and straight and then they walk 100 steps over to the first tee box and all of a sudden it's not quite as easy. What happens is, as you're taking that walk over, your mind's realizing you're about to go into performance elevates the heart rate, throws the timing, the biological timing of your swing off, not to mention has a negative impact on the brain. So it's so important to use those centering breaths before you enter competition.
Yeah. And you use the centering breath as a Cornerstone to your 10 minute workout, to your 100 second workout. And it's literally how I start every one of my meditations every morning. Every time I lay down for kind of a nap meditation in the afternoon, I start with this sequence of six plus two plus seven. It's just such a perfect way to drop in and to focus your mind as well. Right. By actually getting the count to a certain level of precision, you're also focusing your so it's not wandering around into other areas. And to match that with the biology has been huge. So love that. Let's talk about self image. And in Executive Toughness, you talk about how it's like a thermostat and it's really going to kind of dictate how we perform. Can you tell us about that?
Yeah. It's a really important concept that a fellow by the name of Maxwell Malt identified back in 1960, wrote a groundbreaking book called Psycho Cybernetics. In Psycho Cybernetics, Maltz identifies for the first time a concept called self image. Self image is essentially the way a person believes he or she will perform. It's very closely related to self confidence. For all intents and purposes, we could say it is self confidence, but it's really focused on how you believe you're going to perform, how you believe you're going to do what you think you're capable of. Now what Maltz finds is that the person will not outperform nor will they underperform their self image for long. And I know when I was first reading Malt's work I thought, this doesn't sound based in science. Well, here's what we know. Self confidence. Any sports psychology, performance psychology textbook will tell you this. Self confidence is the number one variable for performance. Malt absolutely was the first one to really start to show how important this self image self confidence is. And I'm going to say it again. A person will not outperform, nor will they underperform their self image for long. And here's the kicker that people want to be aware of. You develop your self image by what you say to yourself consistently about yourself over time. Unfortunately, Brian, most people, because of something called PCT and another really strong influence around that is the perfectionist mentality. PCT is problem centric thought. Our brains are built biologically to focus more on the negative than the positive. It's easier to focus on the positive. So because of PCT and because of the perfectionist mentality, most people talk to themselves about themselves in a very negative way. Thus the self image is going to be low, much lower than it potentially could or should be. And again, remember, Maltz says a person will not outperform nor underperform their self image for long. So it really underscores the importance of people going to work on their self image, getting it where it could and should be by learning how to talk to themselves the right way in a more positive, focused, directed manner.
So powerful. And of course, you spend a ton of your time in executive toughness helping us cultivate our self image. Can you give us an idea that we can kind of take home today to help us cultivate that?
Yeah. So self image. There are two rules I really try to work with people on when it comes to self image. One, really start listening to how you talk about yourself to yourself and to others. And I think what most people do is they say, yeah, I'm just joking when I say negative things about myself. I tell you this, here's the rule people I work with moving forward, never really work on never saying another negative thing about yourself, whether it be in your own head or out loud, even if you're joking, doesn't do you any good. In fact, it does all kinds of negative things. Again, impacting one of the Most important things is just that, self image. So that's the first thing is really start taking inventory of how you talk about yourself to yourself and to others. And I want it to only be positive from here on out. The second thing I teach people to create something called an identity statement. An identity statement is really just a personal mantra that you mentioned the mental workout. I have people say it to themselves at least once a day in that mental workout. I'll give you an example of identity statement. I'll give you mine what I tell myself twice a day in the mental workout. I wouldn't ask people to do anything I don't personally do myself. I certainly do mental workouts every day. I say this as my identity statement. I outwork the competition every day. I am the most effective performance coach in the country. I experience true love as a husband and father. Now again, that may be nowhere near the truth. And the research on positive self talk on affirmations on the identity statement is really the further from the truth, the more impactful it can be. So don't let your identity statement be based on what is your reality right now. But more importantly, what do you want it to be. I know when I first started in the sports psychology world, I wasn't even out of graduate school. I didn't even have an office. And I was saying to myself, I'm the most effective sports psychologist in the world. And it couldn't have been further from the truth. But somewhere along the way, a year, year and a half, two years into it, I started to believe it. And once I started to believe it, look out. I think that's when my stock really started to rise. And you could maybe make an argument that I am one of the top sports psychology consultants out there at this point. So again, let your self image be based on desire, not necessarily your reality, but where do you want it to be? And then really go to work on it because again, you're not going to outperform it, nor are you going to underperform it for long.
And I love how you build in both the. Well, first of all, I appreciate you sharing because transparently, just kind of sharing what your identity statement is. It's inspiring and I love the fact that it combines both kind of the process and the, the product side of things of you outwork everyone else and you are the best at what you do, you know. But that, that combination I find really inspiring.
Yeah, I think you bring up a really good point there. And it's one of the rules I talk about in both 10 minute toughness and executive toughness. When you're putting your identity state together, identity statement together, you want to have it so that it has a part that's really somewhat process oriented or characteristic oriented, something you can control. I can control how hard I work and then the other side of it, just like I said then we wanted to also have a result based component. That's the piece where you see I'm the most effective performance coach in the country. Again, a process piece and a product piece.
Well, let's talk about that because when I shared my thoughts on this book in the context of my philosopher's note work, I said that I think your analysis of the process and the product is, if not the best, absolutely one of the best descriptions of it. Can you walk us through on a high level product vis a vis process goals and how you approach that with your clients?
Sure. Let me first say this, Brian. It's very nice of you to give me credit, but I would have to say that I learned what I know about product and process from what I consider the greatest coach of all time, John Wooden. And I might have maybe put my own spin on it, but this is really philosophically his number one concept. This is why Wooden had so much success. This is why he tell you he taught his players and he himself learned to focus more on process than on results. Here is really kind of your definition. You have two types of goals. You have product goals. Product goals are result oriented goals. And the time frame associated with a product goal is usually 12 months or less. So an example of a product goal, if you're in the business world, might be I want to do a million dollars of production. If you're a pitcher, it might be I want to have a sub three era this season or win x amount of games. Those would be examples of product or result goals and an example of a process goal. And the process goal is what it takes daily to achieve the results. An example of a process goal, let's say in the business world might be make six proactive sales calls each day. If you're a baseball player, it might be make sure I spend 20 minutes film study each day of the opposing team's hitters. It might be make sure I'm doing my strength and conditioning workouts every day that they're assigned, doing every number, every assignment that the coaches are telling me to do. It might be making sure I'm doing my mental workouts and success logs daily. Those are more from the mental side of things. But again, here's what I Found. And this is what Coach Wooden really tells everybody. Normal people focus on product goals. Normal people focus on those result goals. What highly successful people have learned, it's not going to be natural. It's going to be totally abnormal. But what the highly successful people have learned, whether it be in the sports world or. Or the business world, and I'll tell you, the sports world is actually much further ahead than corporate America on this one. It surprises me, but it is without a doubt true to my experience. Normal people focus on results. The highly successful have learned to focus on process. And I'll just kind of fundamentally, from a science point of view, why that's true. It's what I call the paradox of the product goal. Paradox of the product goal is when a person focuses on the result, they're actually taking themselves further from it. Again, it's totally normal to do that, but by doing it, you're making it much more difficult to achieve the result. And let me explain the science behind it. This is what we know. The human mind can only fully focus on one thing at a time. There might be some people out there saying, well, this guy really knows nothing about multitasking. And that's not the truth. I do. I totally understand the research. And the research is your mind cannot multitask. You cannot fully focus on more than one thing at a time. It's not biologically possible. Now, you can focus on more than one thing at a time without full attention. But at the high level of performance we want to be performing at, you can't afford to perform less than your full attention, your full focus. So again, learn to focus on what causes the results. And that's the best way to produce results. I'll tell you a quick story about this. So my business partner, a guy I do a lot of corporate work with, his name's Tom Bartow. Tom. He was literally best friends with Coach Wooden until the day he died. It was Tom's Uncle Gene who took over for Coach Wooden, ucla back when Coach Wooden stepped down. Tom and Coach Wooden then became best of friends through his Uncle Gene. Anyway, Tom had asked Coach Wooden not too many years back, maybe 10 years back, as a coach, when you were in a game, like in the heat of a game, what were you focused on? And Coach Wooden said, tom, I was looking to see if my guys were running their cuts in straight lines or if they were running cuts and banana patterns. Tom looks back at Coach Wooden and says, coach, you need to tell me. Greatest mind in all of basketball. Greatest coach in the history of coaching. During a game, you're not worried about the score. You're not looking at the scoreboard. You're watching to see if your guys are running their cuts in straight lines or banana patterns. He looks back at Tom and says, tom, let me be clear. Winning is important. And the best way for us to control winning is if our guys are running their cuts in straight lines. Tom looked a little puzzled. He said, tom, what's the shortest distance between two points? Well, Coach, it's a straight line. If my guys are running their cuts in straight lines, they're going to be a little bit faster than the opponent. If we're a little bit faster, the scoreboard is going to take care of itself.
So good. So good. We could talk for a weekend about all that to bring it back. And I appreciate your humility in attributing, you know, the essence of the idea to Coach Wooden. And I really like the way that you unpack it of articulating. Okay, so practically speaking, what that means is we have a product goal, as you defined it, of something we can achieve within 12 months. And then the process goal is the stuff we're going to do on a daily basis that will help us do that. And in the book you talk about identify your product goal. You have three different domains in our lives and then for each product goal, identify the three most important things you're going to do process wise on a daily basis such that the outcome is a natural byproduct. And the way you weave that together I think is the true gift in the insight and the addition. So thanks for sharing that. I'll just give an example of what I do when I read that One of my product goals is to complete a certain number of philosopher's notes in 2015, 150 of them. I'm on almost 110 now. And so I need to do a certain amount and that requires me to do certain things I identified. Look, I'm going to read and or work on a note before I hop on the Internet every morning, seven days a week. It's just what I do. And simple process goals we can translate are just so big. So I'll move on from there and thank you again for the distinction. And let's talk about goals and writing down our goals and the power of that. You shared some. I still shake my head in awe at the stats that you threw around around the power of writing our goals. Can you share on that?
Yeah. And I'm blown away by the power of this too. David Cole, he's A prominent researcher out of Virginia Tech, he did some really good work on the importance of writing goals down. Writing it down. Let me throw some of these numbers at you. Here's what David Cole said. Writing down is nine times more impactful than not writing down. That's 900%. That means that if you write your goals down, you are 900% more likely to achieve them than if you just keep them in your head. Now, let me throw a couple more stats at you. What Cole also found is only 10% of the people out there actually are writing their goals down. That blows me away. And again, I think what most people then think is, well, I should write down my product goals. And my response to that would be, yes, you should, but that's just getting warmed up. What you absolutely must do is also write down your process goals. Because remember, normal people focus on results or product goals. Highly successful people have learned it's not normal. It's a learned trait. They've learned to focus on the process goals. So if you're going to write the goals down, don't stop with just the results. Just like what you had said you wanted to do 150 of the Philosopher's notes, and then that would be your product goal. But the process goal would be, I think what she said was to get up every day and read before you turned on the Internet. Correct?
Yep. Very simple. Yep.
So writing down the fact that every day you're going to spend X number of minutes reading before you turn on the computer, that's an example of writing the process goal again. Writing them down, as simple as it sounds, makes you 900% more likely to actually achieve them.
Nuts. And then you, of course, have your success logs that people can find on your website. Let's just give that out real quick. We'll do it at the end as well. But where can they find those success logs?
Jason?self.com. there's all kinds of stuff on that website. And one of the things you brought up, those success logs, and I must tell you, those success logs are still to this day the success logs I use with the pro athletes I work with and the business people I'm coaching. Those success logs have proven to help people win World Series, national championships, Olympic gold medals, significantly increased business production year over year. And here's what I think. Most importantly, they're going to help you to be a happier person. They're going to help you to be a better husband, a better wife, a better mother, a better father. See, that's the stuff. To me, I think it's great that I help and I've been fortunate enough to be able to work with people, pro sports world and high end executives. It's really, it's gratifying to be able to help somebody throw that fastball a little bit faster, a little bit more consistently. It's helpful that it's rewarding for me to see people are making more money after working with me. But the stuff that really gives me gratification is knowing that they're losing weight, they're healthier, that their marriage is better, they're a better father, they're a better mother. That's the stuff that now in the end, that's the stuff that I'm going to feel best about. So those success logs, those are the exact success logs highly, highly successful people across the country and now even the world are using to help keep their minds focused on the right stuff.
So good. Yeah. And just to go back to wood and just simplicity, those are not particularly complex forms. It's very straightforward. Here's your product goal, here's your process goal. How'd you do? Right. But it's consistency on those fundamentals that dictates the success we're going to have. Talk to us about, you mentioned it briefly, pct, which is problem Centric thoughts. And then you juxtapose that with RSF and in both of your books, results. What is that result? No.
Relentless.
Relentless.
That's right. Relentless solutions. Focus. So good. And you talk about that a ton in your books of just relentless solution focus. Can you talk to us about the importance of that?
I will. And you know you brought up the word simplicity. You've said it a few times. And I have this quote in my third book. I got a third book coming out here in just a couple of months. But this is a quote from Albert Einstein. It says the five levels of genius. Ready? Level one, smart, intelligent, Brilliant genius. Fifth level, simple. And that's from Einstein. I love that. And again, I think that's what I've learned hanging around. I've been really lucky again to be able to hang around these really smart, successful people. The people who are most successful, they try to keep it simple. They try to keep it simple. So to the idea and answer your question in very simplistic form. I would call PCT Problem centric thought. The definition of mental weakness. It really is a biological tendency that every one of us is born with. It's biologically normal for us to focus on problems or negativity. And I think that right there is the most pure Definition of mental weakness, the biological tendency to focus on negative or problems. I'll give you an example of pct. The most valuable resource known to our species is not cash, it's not gold, it's oxygen. Now, when is the last time you thought to yourself, this is great. I've got an abundance of the most valuable resource known to my species. You see, your mind doesn't naturally go there. Now compare that with when's the last time you thought to yourself, I don't have enough money, I don't have enough love, I don't have enough respect, I don't have enough. You fill in the blank. You see, that's that pct biological tendency to focus on what we don't have on the negative or the problem. Now again, the complete opposite of PCT is RS F. Relentless solution focus. Again. We talked about this earlier. It's within 60 seconds replacing all negative thought with solution focused thought. It really goes back to that definition of what mental toughness is, being able to focus on solutions in the face of adversity. Again, we know we're going to focus on problems. That's natural. But what mentally tough people have learned to do shift. Once they are aware they're focused on a negative or a problem, they very, very quickly shift over to the solution. And the tool I try to teach people that's going to help cross that line going from PCT over to RSF is you just simply ask yourself and force yourself to answer this one question. Here's the question. Anytime you catch yourself focused on a problem or being negative, force yourself to answer this question. What is one thing I can do differently that could make this better? What is one thing I can do differently that could make this better? Just by the semantics of the question, the wording of the question, by the mere nature of forcing yourself to answer, you shift it over to that RSF type of thinking. Now, let me real quick explain why it's so important. What we know is biologically, when you allow your brain to focus on problems, your brain releases neurotransmitters. Those neurotransmitters biologically cause you to feel like garbage. They significantly limit your intelligence. They significantly limit your creativity. Biological, nobody can get around it. But the second you cross that line, the second you move from focusing on the problem over to the solution, not finding a solution, not necessarily finding perfection, just searching for a solution, your brain now releases a whole new set of neurotransmitters. And those neurotransmitters biologically cause you to feel much Better, they significantly increase your mental capacity, creativity, intelligence and memory. So the key is you've got to very quickly. I try to use the rule of 60 seconds because that way you can stay out in front of those negative neurotransmitters. If you can go from problem to solution within 60 seconds, those negative neurotransmitters don't start getting into your bloodstream and screwing your head up. It's going to be easier. The faster you get over there to the solution, the easier it will be because you're not fighting against the biology. The sooner, the faster you do it.
That's awesome. The more you practice it, the more that becomes the grooved pattern and new default response. Right?
That's exactly right. We can retrain the brain to be more focused on solutions than problems. Neuroplasticity, we can retrain this. And answering those success log questions is the best training we know right now.
Yeah, it's awesome. Now, it's funny because I was going to ask you to articulate the plus one game. And focusing on, you make a great distinction of focus on improvement, incremental improvement over perfection. Because too often when we're in that PCT problem, focus. We're thinking about everything that's wrong and we think we need to solve all of it. And you make the great distinction of you don't need to solve all of it. What's one thing I can do differently that could make this better is a heck of a lot more empowering, right?
It is. And even just one inch of improvement, what we know, and it really kind of ties into that perfectionist mentality, what happens is a person has a problem, they try a couple of solutions and it doesn't get them to complete resolution. It doesn't cause perfection. And then what happens? People quit, they give up. That's the true definition of failure, is when you quit, when you stop trying. And what we know is those people who succeed the most in life are the ones that's been called all kinds of different things. Grit, emotional resilience, I call it mental toughness. Those people that have the most success are the ones that stay in the fight and refuse to quit. There's a very powerful quote. I think it's. I'm going to get the wording a little bit wrong, but I think Muhammad Ali said, it's hard to beat a man who refuses to quit. And it's so true. But that perfectionist mentality, when you're trying to solve the whole thing, one solution, you get discouraged because it wasn't Perfect. And then you quit. And when you quit, it's over.
Yeah.
So just start focusing on. Improve it by one inch. Improve it by one inch each day. Chip away at this thing. You'll be surprised where the human spirit can take you in terms of success if you refuse to give in.
Inspiring. Well, that was a quick 30 minutes. We covered a ton. I appreciate you and your wisdom. I like to wrap up these chats by asking the same question, which is if you could share one piece of wisdom with someone passionate about optimizing their lives, what would that one piece of wisdom be? And it might be something we discussed, it might be something outside of this context, but what would that one piece of wisdom be?
You know, such a, such a great question. And I know for me, so I'm biased on this. For me, when John Wooden taught me about process goals, that I should not only on a daily basis know my process goals, but focus on my process goals. And here's the big one, evaluate my success with the process goals. That right there was a major, major turning point. I mean, it really, I think, took me from a position of feeling like I wasn't in control in life to I now feel like for the most part, I'm in complete control. Life may throw curve balls at me and that's where RSF comes in. But fundamentally speaking, if a person can learn to identify their process goals to on a daily basis, focus on and attack their process goals and then evaluate their success on whether or not they did their process goals, not on results, but only on process. I think what happens is you put yourself in the driver's seat for success.
It's powerful. Thank you, Jason. Where can people learn more about you? I'll just give the shout out with again, 10 minute toughness, executive toughness, Amazon, wherever you get books, highly recommend them. Check out our Philosopher's note and TV to learn more. But they're just amazing. What's your new book that's coming out?
It's called Organize Tomorrow Today and I wrote it. I co wrote this one. It's the first time I've co written a book with Tom Bartow, the person I mentioned earlier who was John Wooden's best friend. Tom was a tremendous, tremendous success in the business world and he's probably one of the top business coaches out there right now. He's one of my closest friends and like I said, he was best friends with Coach Wooden, which, that just kind of blows me away. But that'll be available November, December on the website. Best way to find out more Information about any of the books would be Jason selk.com Jasonselk.com all the books are on there. And organize tomorrow. Today we're about to go into pre sale, so you'll be able to order those here before long. Anything people need from me, I don't hide from people. I'm here to help. So on my website you can reach me, you can reach out to the staff and they'll get questions and anything I can be doing to help people, I'm all in.
I appreciate your generosity and your wisdom and your commitment and relentless pursuit of greatness. It's inspiring.
Ryan, I appreciate you. I think you're making a real impact, so keep doing the great work you're doing. I had a chance over the last day or so to do a little homework on you and you may not be giving yourself credit. Make sure you do because you're doing some really good things and I'm sure you're making some major, major impacts. Keep it up with what you're doing as well.
I appreciate that. One masterpiece day after another, right? Let's do this.
Good being with you.
Likewise. Hi, this is Brian.
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