Micro Class: Charisma 101

Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another micro class. This one's on Charisma 101. It's inspired by the charisma myth. Olivia Fox Cobain. This is a great book. Here is a quick overview. The first thing we need to do is bust the myth that you either have charisma or you don't. That is just not the case. You Charisma is a skill. In fact, it is three skills, according to Olivia Fox Cabane, that we can all cultivate. The first is presence. The most charismatic among us have these three qualities. Their presence, their power, and their warmth come together to form high levels of charisma. Now, each of these skills can be practiced and mastered, just like learning a foreign language or a musical instrument or a sport or whatever. The first thing to know, though, is what gets in the way of these coming through as we hang out with others. And she says it's right up here. It's our mental state that is you inside your head. Your internal mental state is the primary obstacle of you demonstrating more charisma. Things like self doubt and anxiety and frustration, irritation, etc. So we want to master that. In the note, we talk about how to go about doing that. For now, we're going to look at a few simple things to boost each of these facets. Number one, presence. Charismatic people are present. Less charismatic people are not. So very simply, when you show up and you hang out with someone, are you there or not? Are you distracted? Are you sitting there looking at your iPhone and kind of glancing at that and then at the person with whom you're interacting? Right. That's like the least charismatic thing you can do. Show up, be 100% focused. Put this iPhone somewhere where you can't see it. It's in airplane mode. You're not going to be distracted. Be present. Simple but powerful idea. It's simple but not easy. But you want to build your presence by being a good listener, being attentive, being actually engaged with the individual with whom you are interacting. And that will immediately drive up your charisma. Second thing is power. Power is driven fundamentally through your body language. So the thing is, we evolved to detect body language way more quickly and deeply than what's coming out of our mouth. So we can say a lot of things, right? But if we are not standing and positioning ourselves and holding ourselves in a powerful, confident way, individuals will not experience us as powerful and therefore will not experience us as having a lot of charisma. So your body language is super important. The number one way to Boost your body language, Olivia says. And really, the number one tool she says in the book is to visualize. So imagine this. Imagine you at your absolute best. You are just crushing it, right? Imagine yourself in the past, when you were most triumphant. When were you most triumphant in life? Think about that. Right now. If you can close your eyes, take a couple deep breaths, if it's safe to do so, and imagine you in one of the most triumphant moments of your life. Just feel that, see it, listen who's saying what. Feel the pride that you feel in yourself right now. Open your eyes, and you just increased your power. You're going to stand up a little taller. You're going to feel a little bit stronger. You're going to exude more charisma. I like to connect that to your future self. What's your ideal vision for your life in five years? Well, connect that triumphant feeling from the past to that future vision that you're bringing to life and live like that version of you, moment to moment to moment to moment to moment to moment. That's just who you are. Visualize that consistently. Increase your power. Then. The third thing we want to focus on, the skill we want to develop is our warmth. She says we do that in three ways. One, via gratitude, two, via cultivating goodwill, and three, via. Via cultivating our compassion for ourselves and for others. Basic idea here we'll focus on in this little class is goodwill. Want what's best for people. When you hang out with someone, genuinely want them to flourish, just have that sense of goodwill toward them. That's a really powerful way to turn up your warmth, which is going to turn up your charisma. You do that combined with turning up power in being present, and you unquestionably are going to dial in your personal magnetism and charisma. So There you go. Charisma 101. Super quick. Look what landed. What 1% optimization can you make today in either one of these, or if you're really feeling it, each of those as you go out and dial up your personal magnetism. And also, just to go back to the myth versus skills, she says the researchers can bring people into a lab and literally dial up their charisma or dial it back by simply either engaging in these skills or not. So you have the choice. You have the gift of charisma. We just need to optimize and to actualize its potential. Let's do that. Have another awesome day. See ya.

Isn't it a bit odd that we went from math to science to history, but somehow missed the class on how to live. For some wacky reason, optimal living 101 never made the schedule. Of course, it's too late to go back and change that and you're too busy to read full time to catch up yet. If you're like us, you're all about optimizing your life and actualizing your potential. So imagine this. Imagine having someone read the best books on optimal living and pulling out the big ideas that can truly change your life. You know those sections you asterisk and underline and mark all up? Then imagine that guy me connecting those ideas to other great books and helping you apply them to your life today. Well, that's what I do with something we call Philosopher's Notes where I break down each great book into a simple 6 page PDF, 20 minute MP3 and 10 minute Philosopher's Notes TV episode. Then imagine me taking the absolute best big ideas from those great books and sharing them with you in fun, inspiring, super practical optimal living 101 classes on stuff like purpose 101, confidence 101, business 101, meditation 101, that sort of thing.

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