Raise the Player: Not the Pressure (Heroic +1 #2020)

Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another Heroic Plus One. I'm typing this from the Hilton Hotel lobby, surrounded by a bunch of chess kids and their parents. Emerson and Eleanor just finished yet another tournament. Yes, we had a busy summer. This was one of the rare events where I can actually watch them play, and that's what I did. I probably watched nearly 15 hours of chess that weekend. It was awesome. Emerson played in the highest division. Eleanor played in the lowest division. So, That means their boards are on the opposite sides of a really big ballroom. I don't know how many thousands of steps I got walking back and forth between their tables, but it was a lot. As you parents who get to see your kids compete all the time know, there's something special about watching your kids in the middle of a competition. I absolutely loved it. And that's not quite the point of this +1. This is. The last weekend before this tournament, I read my dear friend Brandon Geyer's new book, Raise the Player, Not the Pressure. It's a book all about using athletic competitions to help your kids develop their confidence and happiness. It is fantastic. Check out the notes and get a copy. So Brandon is a former Major League Baseball player and world-class mental toughness coach, and arguably The world's best mental toughness coach helping kids win on and off the field. In the book, he teaches a bunch of great stuff, including what to do before, during, and after a competition. That's what we're going to talk about real quick today. I just practiced what he teaches. Before the match, Brandon tells us that we want to keep our words of encouragement simple. His dad used to tell him 2 words before every competition. Trust yourself. That's what I did before every match. Then during the competition, when your kids look out at you in the stands, they are looking for and should receive only one thing from you. A sense that no matter how they're playing, they are safe with and loved by you. I literally told the kids that they should know I'm only thinking of one thing when I watch them play. I love you. And finally, before getting into any details about the performance, Brandon gives us some tips on what to say after the match. I went with his recommendation and told the kids, I love watching you compete. As I told them that, I could feel them soaking it up. All that to say, do you have kids or grandkids? If so, celebrate the gift they are and see If you can step up your game before, during, and after their next competition. Here's to raising the player, not the pressure, as we help our kids win the ultimate game and all the other games in between. Day 1, all in. Let's go. Hey, this is Brian.

Thanks for spending a few minutes with me today. If you enjoyed it, please hit subscribe so that the best of the show keeps landing in your feed.

Then head over to heroic.us.

That's heroic.us, where you'll find the full library of wisdom I've created over the last 20 years, as well as the app, advanced training programs, coaching, and everything else we've built to help you optimize your life, actualize your potential, and live heroically.

It is day 1. We are all in. Let's go.