V-Day

Foreign. Hi, this is Brian. Today I'm here with my goddess, Alexander, the goddess behind Philosopher's Notes. We are on one of our favorite hikes overlooking Ojai, which is pretty sweet. And it is almost Valentine's Day. So our team came up with the idea of having a little two for one promotion for Valentine's Day where we can give the gift of wisdom. And I thought that was a pretty cool idea. And Alexandra and I thought we would share a couple of our favorite big ideas on love. Alexandra's read every single one of the philosopher's notes has been a huge part of bringing it together and really inspiring me. And I'm curious, darling, what are a couple of. What are a couple of your favorite big ideas from philosopher's Notes that you think people would love?

So I think the biggest one that we've gotten and that we've worked with is appreciation of appreciating each other. Every day. We have a practice where we appreciate each other throughout the day, but then even at night, we do 10 appreciations of each other.

Yeah, that's been huge, huh? So we picked that up from Gay and Katie Hendricks, which is one of the notes. We have two of our favorite people in the world and friends and mentors. And the idea is that appreciation really has two meanings. One, when you appreciate someone, right, you see their value. And as you appreciate that person or something in your life, it appreciates in value. It actually grows in value. So that's been huge for us, huh?

Yeah, Totally amazing. Don't focus it. Don't focus on what you don't like about the person. Focus on what you love about the person.

Yeah, that's awesome. So we can talk about that forever. But that's a big one. What else?

I really appreciate you, babes.

I really appreciate you.

What else? Leo Biscalia. You have to learn and study love that we don't have amazing relationship models. So we need to. If we're going to be a cook or a mechanic, we need to learn how to do those things. We need to learn how to be in relationship and learn how to grow in love.

Yeah, that's awesome. That one's really cool. So, yeah, so Leo Buscaglia, Love. One of my favorite books. And actually, when we went on our first date nearly three years ago, Alexander was the first woman I'd met who had not only read Leo Buscaglia's Love Once, but like two or three times and underlined an asterisk. I'm like, I am in love. But anyway, Buscalia says That if you want to really have an effective love relationship, you've got to study it the same way that if you were going to go to an auto mechanic, who would you go to? Someone that had never studied mechanics or someone who had spent their life studying it. And if you're going to go to a fine restaurant and have a great meal, you'd want a chef that had studied how to prepare great food. Same thing with relationships. We've got to study this stuff. So that's pretty big. I love that one. Any other ones?

One that's been really powerful for us is projection. So whatever you're complaining or criticizing in your partner. Projected. And how am I that? We learned that from Gay and Katie do a lot of work with that.

Yep.

And also Byron, Katie.

Yep.

And who else?

Well, the powerful engagement. We talk about this dark side of the light chasers. This is a big idea we come back to again and again and again. The idea that anything we're seeing in someone else in the world is really a projection of what's not integrated within ourselves. Yeah. So that's been huge. And I know that the only time that I've criticized you, I mean, it's been, what, maybe once, twice? I think probably once max, maybe one and a half times. Yeah. You know, those times are when I'm not doing the thing that I feel I need to do. And then I see you not doing something and I project that onto you. So Gay and Kati say, you need to eat your projections. And then the powerful engagement. They say, anytime you ever get triggered by someone, ask yourself, how am I that? Identify what it is the other person that's really annoying you. Then ask yourself, how am I that? It's a huge practice, huge exercise. Another one of my favorite ideas is Ayn Rand from the Fountainhead. She says, in order to say I love you, one must first be able to say the I. So whenever people come to me and they say, hey, you know, this is going on in my partner, with my partner, with my kids. What can I do to get my kids, you know, to behave a certain way or my partner to behave a certain way, I always come back to the individual who's asking the question. Right. And it's that idea of we've got to be able to say the I strongly, which is really what the philosopher's notes are all about, is helping us become the type of human being that can attract into and develop the type of relationship that we want to see in our lives. So there you go. There's a few. Those are some good ones, huh?

Yeah, I think those are awesome. It's not. Not always going to be rainbow, sunshine and fun. There's definitely a journey and a process of learning how to love and learning how to implement all of these things and.

Yeah, have fun with it, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's a big commitment that we have. Awesome.

Ought to always be fun.

No, it's not always fun.

Commit to working through it, you know?

Oh, you're so cute. All right, so there we go. Hope you enjoyed. We can talk about this for quite a while and we will actually, we're gonna do a lot more on relationship, but like I said, we thought you'd enjoy just a few of our favorite big ideas. Valentine's Day is coming up. Two for one special. We'd love to share philosopher's notes with you and your loved ones, whether it's your significant other. We've got a lot of boyfriends and girlfriends and spouses doing this together, which is awesome. Parents and kids, siblings, best friends, colleagues, whatever. If you already have a subscription, you can get two for the price of one for your friends. And we hope you dig it and really appreciate everyone's support. It's been amazing and sending lots of love from us to you, and we're super excited to share with you in the months and years and decades ahead. So big hugs, smiles, little happy dance. Yeah, no philosopher's notes. That's what we're talking about. The goddess behind philosopher's notes. All right, Love you, babe. We will talk to you soon. Off to finish our hike now. See ya. It.