Holly Furtick reflects on loneliness and the necessity of real, in-person friendships rather than online interactions. She shares personal stories about long-term friends (Chunks and Amy Corbett) who partnered with her and her husband Stephen in starting a church — recounting travel to scout cities, sensing a calling in Charlotte, practical setbacks (a supporting church backing out, a lease falling through), ministry milestones, and mutual care during hard times. Her core message: friendships are formed over time and must be built before crises so people will be present when you need them.
Chapters
Some of us are lonely because the minute someone gets annoying, you're just on to the next person. And then you wonder why you feel lonely. Yes, there are toxic people that you don't need to spend time around, but you were meant to experience life with people, real human beings, not pictures behind a screen where you type comments back and forth. Because I don't know about you. I don't want a friend who comments. I want a friend who listens and a friend who understands. I want a friend who is there. And when you get connected to the right people, I don't know how it happens, but your faith grows. 19 years ago, just before Stephen and I got married, a mutual friend of ours introduced us to Chunks and Amy Corbett. Chunks was a physical therapist. You've heard Stephen talk about him many times. And Amy actually was. Was an engineer. And over the next two years, we just developed a friendship with them. We sort of learned how to be adults together. And when Stephen and I felt God calling us to start this church, we knew that we wanted Chunks and Amy to do it with us. And they prayed about it, and they finally. They took a really long time, if you ask me, but they finally agreed that they would go anywhere that we felt God calling us to go. This is a picture of us, the four of us, in Charleston, before we had even decided where we were gonna plant our church. I know the picture's not the best, but, you see, back then, you couldn't check your picture. You got one click, and you didn't wanna waste the film, you know, so that's all we got. Okay, I've got another picture. I got a better one to show you. This is usually in 2018, so, you know, 15 years, almost 15 years later and in the same spot. So now you can see we got to check our picture and make sure it was good that time. It's a good win. I remember one particular night we were eating at our favorite restaurant. It was called Mi Poblito. And back then, Stephen and Chunks ate chips. And so we were eating chips, and we were talking about where we would plant our church. And Stephen, who always does stuff like this, he said, ooh, let's drive to Raleigh tonight, and we can just get a hotel and then spend the day tomorrow just exploring the city and see if God is speaking to us. And I was like, no. He's like, we need to make plans. Let's go home, we'll make plans, and then we'll go next weekend. And everybody else was like, oh, no, that'd be fun. Let's go tonight. So we went, I went and we got in the car and we drove three hours to Raleigh only to find that there was a massive basketball conference and there were no hotel rooms available anywhere. And I'm not even talking about, like, there weren't even bad hotel rooms available. Also back then you could not book a hotel on your phone. Like you had to drive to them. And so finally at 2am we found a hotel that would give us a room. And the next morning we drove around all day. And I mean, I think, you know, the end of this story. We didn't feel like it was Raleigh. And we drove around. We were like, ah, I don't know. This isn't. I don't know. Let's go home. So the trip kind of seemed unsuccessful. But on the way home, we drove through Charlotte and something happened in the car. We were driving 485 and I don't know what it was, but we just knew. It was like something stirred in each of our spirits. And we knew that this was the place where we would start our church. We stopped for dinner by Carolina Place Mall and we all looked around the table. I remember it so vividly. And we were like, do you think, Yeah, I think, yeah, this is it. This is the place. And we all agreed. And there's just nothing like having a group of people where you can, you can test out. I think God is saying this. Do you think God is saying this? Let's do this. And together. We have seen God do so much in the last 19 years. When the church that said they were going to help us support us financially backed out right after we moved to Charlotte. We were together in our fear when the lease for the building, that we were so sure, I mean, we told everyone, this is the building, that we're going to have our first permanent campus. The lease fell through. We were confused together. I have another picture to show you. This is another vivid memory. This is me and Amy. You might not know this, but we were the first background vocalists. Elevation Worship. I got replaced as soon as possible and I've never been asked to sing again. I'm okay with it, but I clearly remember every time that we would do something new, whether it was add a new service or open up a new campus, we were always unsure, like, are people gonna come? And Amy and I would peek out from behind the curtain. And I remember one time Amy was peeking out and she was like, ho, ho, come here, come here, come here, come here. Look, look, they're coming. And we were so excited together. And when Stephen's father was in his last days of life, I remember coming out of the bedroom and finding chunks and Amy and others of our friends just there waiting together in our time of sadness. I'm saying we're like the 12 disciples or anything. Or that all my friendship lasts forever, you know, I'm not saying that, but I'm saying that together we have seen God do some amazing things. We've seen people's lives healed. We've seen people's marriages restored. We have seen God work through us. Together, together in joy, together in fear, together in doubt. Because God's intentions are never for us to struggle alone. And here's the thing that you have to remember about friendship. Because not only are they formed over time, but they must be formed to before the crisis. In order for you to feel like people are there for you in your dark season, you have to spend time developing your relationship with them before that. Hey, thanks for watching. I hope that that encouraged you today. Make sure that you subscribe so that you don't miss out on other videos like this, and I'll see you back here next time.
