How To Avoid A Fight

I came across this verse the other day, and I just have to share this with you. Proverbs 20, verse 3 says, Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor. Only fools insist on quarreling. Now, I grew up in a family that valued fighting. Speak your opinion. Make sure that you're heard. Justice at all costs. And I can be very stubborn and very opinionated. But I've learned that when it comes to the people that I love, there's always a cost to a fight. Even if I win the fight, the person that I love is going to walk away hurt. So just one chapter earlier in Proverbs 19:11, is one of my favorite verses. It says this. A person's wisdom yields patience. It is to one's glory to overlook an offense. I love this idea of how it's a glory to overlook an offense. It's an art. It's an art to learn how to give grace in the moment, in the heat of a moment, and then be able to circle back and have a discussion when everyone is calm. So how do you practically avoid a fight when everything inside of you is screaming to make sure that you get heard? Well, right here in Proverbs 20, we get two questions to consider. So here's the first one. If you want to avoid the fight, the first thing that you ask is, is this worth it? Proverbs 20:18 says, Plan succeed through good counsel. Don't go to war without advice. So the question is, if I engage in this fight, what is going to happen? Can you take a second to think a few steps down the road? All right, they're upset. I'm going to get upset. They're going to get more upset. We're going to say things we don't mean. And ultimately we're going to have to overcome more than what's upsetting us right now. In this moment, I have to be in a calm state of mind so that I can decide, is this worth it to me? The time to bring up a disagreement or an offense is never in the heat of the moment if you can avoid it. It's not easy to hit pause, but we all have the Holy Spirit inside of us. And if you can gather your wits for just a spot, split second and ask him. Like the Proverb says, don't go to war without advice. Ask the Holy Spirit, is this worth it? You might be able to avoid a fight. Sometimes the moment will pass and you realize you can just overlook it. There wasn't even an argument needed. You don't know what you were so upset to begin with. Sometimes you need to say something about how it upset you. But you can do that in a calm moment when you aren't going to end up saying things that you don't mean. Sometimes we fight about things that we didn't even have to fight about because we couldn't take a moment and have some self control. But then there's the second question. Can God handle it? Proverbs 20:22 says don't say I will get even for this is wrong. Wait for the Lord to handle the matter. I'm learning that there are some things that I just have to trust that God will handle with person that I love. I'm learning that I can talk all I want to the person about the things that they could change should change would make our relationship better. But sometimes you have to come to a place where you realize that engaging with the person isn't getting you anywhere. And instead you need to engage with God about the person that you love. And I've learned that God can fix in a moment what I could fuss about for a lifetime. And if I trust that the Holy Spirit is alive and he speaks to me, then he doesn't need my help in speaking to the other person. So my challenge for you today is when you're faced with a potential fight, can you take a second and ask yourself these two questions? Is it worth it? And is this something that God can handle without me? Hey, thanks for watching. I hope that encouraged you today. Make sure that you like subscribe. Subscribe and hit that bell to turn on notifications so that you don't miss out on other videos just like this one. And I'll see you back here next time.