Holly Furtick tells married women that holding onto anger keeps you from admitting fault. Apologizing first, even when you feel mostly right, buys peace and strengthens your marriage. She asks you to commit to unity over pride.
As long as I stay angry, then I'm never able to own up to my part. Even if my part is only 10% anger, it comforts, to a certain degree, it makes you feel better. Because as long as you stay angry, you never have to admit that you've done anything wrong. And as long as my focus stays on him and all the things that he needs to change things, then I never have to look in the mirror. But let me ask you this. What does it actually cost you to be the first one to say I'm sorry? It's hard to be the first one to say I'm sorry. It's also hard when you feel like, and I know you're gonna go with me here, you're always the first one to say that you're sorry. Funny thing is, he probably feels like he's always the first one to say he's sorry too. But that's not the point. I think as women, we keep score in our heads. We keep score about how many more times we've unloaded the dishwasher, how many more times we've gotten up in the middle of the night. We are so good at keeping score. And we keep score of, well, I was the one that said I'm sorry the last time. In fact, I said I'm sorry the last three times. So maybe for once he can just say he's sorry before I do. But what does it actually cost you to say I'm sorry first? It might cost you your pride, especially if you were only 10% wrong, which you probably weren't only 10% wrong, but especially if you feel like you were only 10% wrong. So the pride of admitting your 10% when you feel like he was 90% wrong, wrong, is it worth that? But what does it actually benefit you to be the first one to apologize? You get peace. The benefit of apologizing first is that you are able to quickly bring peace to your home, if in any possible way you can bring peace. So you either get to apologize first and quickly bring peace, or you can get angry, and you can nurse your anger, and you can wait for him to apologize, and you can just let the tension build in your home for days and days and days, and you can let that anger and resentment build up and stay there for days, all because you're just waiting for him to say I'm sorry first. Is it really worth that to you? The cost of apologizing might actually be your ego, but the prize, the benefit, is your unity, which is more important to you? Your ego or your unity, that bond, that beautiful thing that you have in your marriage. Do you want that bond to be tighter, to be stickier, to be unbreakable? Or are you more concerned? Gosh, I'm sorry I'm preaching so hard, but I just feel like, ladies, we have got to let some stuff go. And so many times we are more concerned about staying standing our ground and waiting for him to admit what he did wrong. But you know what? The choice is ours every time. And we can choose to set our ego aside and experience peace and calm and conversation and growth in our marriage, or we can just live with the tension. I love this verse in John 1:16, and it's talking about Jesus and it says this from his fullness we have all received grace upon grace. Isn't that beautiful? From Jesus fullness, I have received grace upon grace upon grace. And if I have received grace upon grace, I want to learn to give grace upon grace upon grace. Type this in the chat I choose us. I choose us every time. I choose us. And when you do this, you're able to reset the tone in your home. When you just. When you let things go, when you reset, when you just decide, okay, we had a little spat. I'm not going to let it get to me. I'm going to. I'm going to, hey, you want to watch a show? Or maybe you're just sitting next to each other and you just touch his hand for a minute and just let him know that everything's okay. Why do we have to stalemate and wait for him to be the one that reaches out to us? When I change me, I change us. The enemy wants to keep you captive in your anger and your bitterness and your grudges, but he's not going to this week. I'm praying for you to be set free this week. To be set free from old offenses, to let go of old patterns. To be set free from those things that have been driving a wedge between you and your husband's bond, maybe for years. Hey, thanks for watching. I hope that encouraged you today. Make sure that you, like, subscribe and hit that bell to turn on notifications so that you don't miss out on other videos just like this one. And I'll see you back here next time. Sam.
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