Lunchtime Live with Levi & Jennie Lusko | Holly Furtick

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Welcome to Lunchtime Live. I am Holly Furtick. This is my YouTube channel. And occasionally, I come on at lunchtime and interview someone. It's been a minute. I'm gonna be honest. I don't even know how long it's been. Who's the last person I interviewed? Adrian Houghton was the last person I interviewed. That was a long time ago. Has it been like, nine months? I don't know. It's been a long time. But today's gonna be special because I have someone great to talk to, and it is two of my great friends, Jenny and Levi Lusko. Don't bring them on yet because we have to talk about what we ate for lunch and other things. But I won't take too long because I want to get Jenny and Levi on. They have an amazing book that's out, and we're gonna have a really fun talking to them about their book. I'm going to show it to you right now. So the Marriage Devotional by Levi and Ginny. Let's go. And they're two of Stevens and my best friends in the whole world, so also, one of my other best friends in the whole world is in the room today. My sister Emily. What happens if I turn this computer? Okay, here we go. If we want to say hi to Emily, Emily, wave. Okay. And there's Joshua. He's in there, too. Joshua is, like, telling me what to do and everything. Emily's here. We ate lunch together. We had to order from a breakfast restaurant because it's noon and right now here in Charlotte. And so she. She got, like, chicken quinoa. And I have. Do not think that I'm healthy when I tell you what I ate for lunch. But I had a small bowl of oatmeal. But that's only because I. I'm just going to be honest. I've been a little off the rails for the last. I don't know, since Wednesday, So almost a week. So, okay, here's my question for you. Tell me what you ate for lunch, and are you off the rails? And if you're off the rails, you can also let me know how long you plan to stay off the rails, because, like, some people stay off the rails from about Thanksgiving to New Year's. I have no problem with that. I always start off saying, I'm not going to do that. But to be honest, I have very little willpower when it comes to food. So I just want to know what you guys are thinking. Belinda Cooper says she loves oatmeal from McDonald's. I'm not sure, Belinda, that I would try McDonald's oatmeal. That doesn't sound good to me, but I'm going to trust you with that. Let's see. Laura Rose says, it's snowing there, but did you have oatmeal for lunch, Laura? That's what I want to know. Let's see. Lindsay Pruitt says, why do I feel so called out? Lindsay, it's okay. You know what? God gave us food and he gave us feasts to enjoy. And as long as we don't stay off the rails for too long, it's. It's. It's just fine. It's.

It's.

It's the gift of God. Food, bread. He's the bread of life. So there you go. Okay, Anne says. Anne Boyer says, just had breakfast because it's 9am here. She had a bowl of oatmeal with sliced bananas. I hate bananas. So I just had strawberries in mine. Carrie Broom says, oatmeal from McDonald's is so good. Okay, you guys, what else? Lindsey Pruitt said, I'm eating pizza right now. Three slices. Okay? Two days ago, I was like, okay, I'm going to. I'm getting back on the rails. Getting back on the wagon. Isn't that how you say it? And so I was going to make turkey salad with my leftover turkey. And. And I make it kind of healthy. Just has, like, a tiny bit of mayonnaise in it. And so I was making that. But while I was making the turkey salad, I had a piece of cold pizza because I. It looks so good in the fridge, like, cold cheese pizza. Okay. Jeffrey Connor says he had Popeyes fried chicken. Dorcas says she's surviving on coffee. Becky Rose says, no, Becky is not off the rails. And she says, soup and salad, everybody. Becky, thumbs up. That's great.

There's.

There's. There's no. There's no gold stars given out today for anybody who's off the rails or on the rails. Everybody. I'm proud of you. Jessica Jones says she's having muscle milk. Maybe cheese and meat, too. Jessica, that sounds disgusting. So Rhonda Clark says, oatmeal can be delicious. Add apples and cinnamon. Speaking of, I have a wonderful recipe for Crock Pot oatmeal. I would say it's one of my signature recipes.

And.

And you can find it somewhere. I don't think we put it on YouTube yet, but I need to. I'm going to make it for YouTube soon and put it on. Okay. Does anybody Want to know what Jenny and Levi had for lunch? But before I bring them on, there was one other thing I wanted to talk about. So let me know in the chat. Have you started Christmas shopping yet? Because I just have to take a minute, give myself a gold star, and brag on myself. Because I've been married for 20 years. This is the first Christmas in 20 years that I have ever been this far ahead in my Christmas shopping. I don't. I don't know why. I had a conversation with my husband this summer, and I was like, I don't look forward to Christmas. It stresses me out so much. And he was like, well, why don't you just get everything done by August? And I was like, well, okay, I'll try. And I'm not even close to done, but I probably have more than half of my Christmas shopping done, and I have a very long list of people that I buy gifts for. So I'm very proud of myself. So I just want to know, like, scale of 1 to 10, how good are you on your Christmas shopping? Like, one would be, I haven't even started yet. 10 would be my gifts are wrapped in under the tree. So I'll give myself a seven. Well, there's the wrapping part. I give myself a six. So tell me what. What you're having. Okay, my. My comments got stopped up. Let's see. And says we've officially started, but just a couple items so far. Lydia says I have grandkids. I had to start early. Okay, somebody's bragging on themselves. Nikki says I need to brag. I finished Christmas shopping two weeks ago, but I have a huge family, so Nikki, brag away. Congratulations. Enjoy Advent, worship. Jesus. The presents. Not the presents, because you already got done with the presents. Okay, somebody says they haven't started yet. Okay, here come your numbers. Here come your numbers. Just wait. Lenny and Ginny and G by Jenny and Levi. They're coming on in just a second and they're gonna tell us what they ate and they're gonna give us a score on their Christmas shopping. But here come your scores. Okay. Ronnie Martinez gives herself a three. Ashley Livingston gives herself a zero. Oh, Ashley, you didn't even shop for Black Friday. That's not good. Sephirah Peter says 4. L. Williams says 7. Robin Newell says I haven't even started yet. So I guess a zero is like, not only have I not started, but I have no idea what I'm giving anyone. Jessica said. Chumley says she gives herself a 2. Terry Ashburn gives herself a 9. That's incredible. Paige Stovall, 6. Tina Gonzalez, 1. Zane Zanine gives herself a 6. Penny Pike. I like that name. She gives herself a one. Okay, guys, prayers for all the ones. Yvonne has a five. She Sharon Davis, a seven. Let's see. Sarah Davis. Oh, wait, okay, so we have a Sharon Davis, who is a seven. But then we have a Sarah Davis, who is a zero. So. And also Jennifer is her last name. Lasagna. Do you see this? It's spelled L, A, S, A, G, N, E. That's not lasagna. It is lasagna. Right? That's amazing. I hope you're off the rails. Jennifer gave herself a zero. Kelsey gave herself a three. Jessica Jones, a one. With, like, the crying emoji. Joan says. Joan Uphold gave herself a five. Guys, Cat Scott has a zero. Becky G. Has a one. Laura Rose has a one. Iris has a seven. Rachel Macias says one. As usual, Rachel, you're going to get it done. For all the ones and the zeros out there, you're going to get it done. And for all the sevens, eights, and nines out there, we applaud you. Congratulations. Like I said, Enjoy Advent. Andrea C.08 gave herself a 100, so I'm not sure what that means. Maybe she's 100% done. Gold Star for you, Andrea. Okay. Christy Miller, at least a six. Rhonda Clark, a four. Christie De Leon, one and a half, but you've got that half, and that's important. All right, guys, I'm gonna bring on Jenny and Levi. We're talking about their marriage book today. We're gonna find out how far along they are in their Christmas shopping, too. We're gonna find out what they ate for lunch because this is called Lunchtime Live. And I don't even think it's lunchtime there yet because they live in Montana, and I bet the sun is not shining in Montana and that they have the door open like I do. And, oh, also, I was gonna tell you, we're gonna give away how many copies? Two copies of their book. So stay on with us and leave a comment. And if I see a comment that I like, I'm going to give this book away. I also feel like maybe we should give somebody who has a zero down this book, because then you could give this book to, like, a married couple, and then you would have one Christmas gift purchased. Right? Okay, so let's pick a zero. Victoria Madison, because she has commented many times, she wants us to know that she has a zero. So, Victoria, we're sending you this Book and then I'm going to give away. I think I've got two more to give away, so I got three. All right, so we're going to. I'm giving away my copy, so Jenny and Levi, you're going to have to send me another copy. But Victoria, now you have. Do not keep this for yourself. Victoria, this is a gift from me to you to give to someone as a Christmas gift. Because this is your first Christmas gift that you have purchased for the year. Okay, great. If so, Victoria, here's what you need to do. Email Holly Furtick YouTube elevationchurch.org we're going to put it in the chat for you. But Holly Furtick YouTube all one word. Elevationchurch.org and we're gonna put it in the chat. So email me if you win. Email me. Okay, Victoria, you started your Christmas shopping. Now can we talk to Jenny and Levi? I know you're tired of hearing me talk. Jenny and Levi.

Hi.

There they are.

Lenny and G by.

Lenny and G by.

You're so cute.

That's our band name.

Guys, what time is it in Montana?

So it's 10 o' clock in Montana. We actually just finished breakfast.

Did you have oatmeal?

No.

So I had grapefruit with Greek yogurt and granola and honey. So good. Grapefruit.

Was it all together like you cut up the grapefruit and put it in the yogurt? I could do, but like, you know when people just like eat grapefruit with a spoon? No, thank you.

You don't like that. Okay, so Levi actually has a great.

Recipe, brulee grapefruit where you.

You creme brulee IED anything, obviously.

So if you creme brulee top, but.

It'S not creme brulee.

You brulee the top of a grapefruit with like brown sugar turbonada or whatever those darker sugars are. You have to dry the grapefruit first, but it is delicious. But I had steak and eggs today.

Holly, steak and eggs. Did you make it yourself?

Negative.

Oh, restaurant.

Yeah.

I don't make steak and eggs.

I'll be more about marriage.

Hey, but we're gonna say. Hey, we're gonna send you 10 more co you can give Victoria another one. You can give out eight more as well. So we're going to hook you up.

Okay, awesome.

Whatever you want.

Okay, let's pick another zero. Hold on, let me go back. Give. I mean, we got to help some of these people out.

Are you enabling by giving these zeros the gift? Should we Find a four at least, you know?

Okay. You want to give it to a four. Okay, let's see. I'm looking for a four. There's just so many. Zero.

That's really sad. But, you know, there's still time in the season to go.

It's not even December 1st. I mean, there's plenty of time here.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Okay. Patrice Connor. Patrice Connor. She gave herself a four. Patrice, we're sending you a copy of the book. Email Holly Furtick, youtubeationchurch.org okay, guys. Okay, so what would you rate yourself? Each of you give yourself a number. I know, Ginny, your Christmas list is probably, I don't know, 100 times the length of Levi's, but what would you give yourself on the Christmas shopping list? Number scale. That's what I mean.

Okay, so we really leaned into Cyber Monday.

Yes.

So.

Which started, like, three weeks ago. What is it with these things?

Black Friday.

Thank God.

Three weeks ago.

Yes. I've been taking advantage.

I would say we're like, I give it. Not.

Since we haven't wrapped anything. I'd say 8.8ish.

Since I wrapped any.

Since you haven't wrapped anything. Well, I think we're, like, almost all the way there. On gift.

Yeah.

Okay. That's amazing. Yeah, I'm impressed by that.

I also. I wrap my own Christmas gifts for me.

The ones. The ones you know about.

Four gifts. Okay. I do not wrap my own Christmas gifts. But I will say, I don't even know if my husband's watching right now, but he gives the best Christmas gifts. Like, he really spoils me. And. And the last. The last two years, I got 12 days of Christmas, so I got a present every day. If you know me. You know I love presents. And, yes, it just really works for our marriage. Like, presents all around. And. And so sorry, the wrapping part.

He.

When we first got married, he would tell me to close my eyes, and he would have, like, the Gap bag or whatever behind his back, and then he'd, like, hold it up, and that was how he wrapped presents. Okay, wait. He just. He says, of course I'm watching you. And then he said, you look beautiful. So. Okay, so when we first got married, you know, it was like, he would hold up the shopping bag, and. But now he has his assistant wrap my gifts, and so they're, like, beautiful with a bow. And. And yes. Anyway, so he. He. He gets. You know, you just got to work what you have.

Right?

And so he does. So good. Okay, guys, so you have this amazing book out. It came out, like, last week. Two weeks ago.

Oh, the 14th.

Two weeks ago.

Two weeks ago.

So I have several questions for you. Let me just start off by asking you, how did writing this book test your marriage?

Okay, first of all, I don't even know how you got a paperback. It's only hardcover. I didn't even know there is a paper.

Well, I have a hardcover cover, too, but I thought I would hold up the paperback because I don't want to, like, disappoint the winners because I figured that we would give away the paperback. So, you know, winners. My mom always said beggars can be choosy, but winners are very. Are very cheesy sometimes.

Well, we will send 10 hardcovers. I've never seen a paperback. I didn't know we had one.

Well, I didn't either, but, yeah, you do. And it's available on. On Amazon. It's 19 for the paperback and 28 for the hardback.

Incredible. Wow. How did it test our marriage?

How did this test your marriage? Because, like, writing a book together is not easy. Writing a book in and of itself is not easy. I've never accomplished this feat, so. But writing a book with your spouse, I would guess that they were like, did you get in any fights? That's what I want to know.

Of course. I mean, yes. I mean, well, we get in fights on Tuesdays. You know, it's just a thing we do. But this book, I would say we were so excited because we wanted to give the kind of marriage devotional we like to read. We've loved going through them, but they can't be. We're really picky. They can't be too long of entries. The questions need to be good. I hate it when you can tell they wrote the good devotionals but then phoned in the questions. So, like, we really. We wanted prayers, we wanted scripture verses. We were really picky. We wanted activity ideas, conversation starters to make just it turnkey, easy for people. So I think we were so excited. That helped us a lot.

Yeah, I feel like.

Because we've never done anything like this together, so a lot of it was actually, like, me working on some things, and then he would work on. Because throughout the devotional, like, there's a entry from me, an entry from him, and then sometimes an entry from both of us. And I felt like we did work kind of separately, but then we would, like, talk about things. I feel like the struggle has come from putting this out there, because I think when we are encouraging marriages and when we're fighting for our own marriage and fighting for others to have vibrant marriages. That's where the. The attack comes in the spiritual warfare. So I feel like that has been more of the just being aware of. We're entering into some pretty rough territory as we're seeking to help marriages. I feel like that has been like the biggest thing because writing it was actually fun.

Yeah. And we didn't do anybody that gave.

Back give gave feedback to like each other of like you don't do this.

That's funny. No, I think for the. We tr. We try and keep it really real. I mean we tell about a knock them out, drag them out fight we had in the introduction. So this definitely isn't the. You know, you have to have a three hour long quiet time. We even tell them like you may not even read it together because we don't read devotionals together. We read them separately then talk about them when we can. So I think this is. We're trying to put the cookie on the cookies on the bottom shelf here and really say hey, we're screwed up to. But here's some stuff that's helped in our.

Maybe you're off the rails. It's okay.

Hey, and by the way, that is very funny. Like you're off the rails and that's fine. You can get back on later, you know. Yeah.

The wagon will be there whenever you're ready.

Yes.

Is what it is.

Yes.

We did do a four mile run together today though. Out in the cold.

Okay. That's impressive. I did not exercise today, but it. The weather in Charlotte today is phenomenal. I have the door open. The sun is shining. It is. I think the high today is 69. Wow.

God's favor is on the Queen City today. It is.

Is it snowing there?

It's been a heck of a weird winter. We had the coldest October on record. We had a foot of snow before the trees had even dropped their leaves. And so all the. The brand you know about trees, Holly, the hidden life of them. But the branches hadn't lost their trees so the SAP was still in them. So all the snow was on the branches. So it caused trees to fall over all over Montana breaking power lines. Power went out. We lost power for half a day. It was crazy. So it's been weird. We've already had sub zero multiple times. We've got a winter storm happening right now.

Is it hard on your marriage when you lose power in the house?

No.

I mean it could be if the kids are busy. It could be really good lights and candles. We got Nothing to do. We got to stay warm somehow. Now, you know is what it is. That's how we have so many children.

Okay, you do have a lot of children. Okay, I have so many questions, but let's go back because I, I actually, you guys know this. I have a little book club and I love to interview people about their books and so shout out to the Holly Furtick Book club, if I have any book club. If you want to join the book club is very easy. You just go to hollyfurdic.com you can join us. We do live interviews with the authors, blah, blah, blah. By the way, I will tell you guys later after because I can't announce it now, but my book club book for January, I don't think I've ever been. Well, not ever. But this. I'm so excited. Like, this book was my favorite book that I read in 2022, and I cannot believe that this author is going to come on. So you guys, you and I have. My husband is reading the book too, so. So I'm going to tell you what book. Anyway, that's. That's another conversation. But don't let me forget to tell you guys to read this book. Anyway, I like to start off my interviews by the author reading a selection from the book. So I don't know if you guys had a fight about who was going to do this, but can you. Do you know that we don't have.

A book here, do you? We didn't bring one.

Oh, is there. Well, I told someone from my team to tell you to read a selection from the book this morning.

I can pull up a digital one. Hold on. We can do this. We can do this. Hold on a second.

We'll just pull it up and we'll do it in a minute. I'll ask you another question while we, While we work on this.

I'll find it.

Jenny, tell me. What. Something funny about your wedding day. Like something that went wrong on your wedding day.

Okay, so it was actually the day before our wedding. We, Levi and I worked really hard to do the seating list for every table. So we, like, we worked so hard to consider, like, okay, who from our family will be at this table? Any friends, like, putting people together, like people who were single. Maybe they'll meet each other and they'll love each other. And, you know, so we worked so hard. I think it was like 12 people per table. But we. When we got into the room, by.

The way, the bereal just went off. So I got you my. Be real, Holly.

But we got into the room where the reception was going to be and found out that it was ten seats per table.

Awesome.

So it wasn't really funny in the moment, but looking back, it's like, oh, my gosh. So Levi was so sad, very stressed. He, like went under the table and just like mourned for a second because we had to like, take all of the settings that we did and rearrange and like put them now at 10. And anyways, I just remember that so vividly. But that was like the day before our wedding.

And that was pretty stressful to happen the day before the wedding.

Yes, I would say on the day of our wedding. I don't even know. What do you remember?

I remember being a blubbering mess. I was so emotional. Jenny showed up at the back of the aisle. I just started. We didn't do a first look. Like everyone sees each other now before the wedding. So that was the first time I saw her. And I lost absolute emotional control of myself. It was, she's just so beautiful. And someone gave me a tip because Obviously, you know, 18 years in, we don't all feel like that every day. I don't wake up, see Jenny start.

Crying, you know, maybe in a bad way.

But someone told me, take a picture in your mind of her at the back of the aisle and no matter what, when she's mad at you and she's, you know, whatever, not you feel, you feel, like, respected you or whatever, treat her in this day like you would treat that girl at the back of the aisle.

Wow.

And so it's kind of. I've done that so many times when she's been frustrated or passive aggressive. I pull that image in my mind and try and try and treat her like, like that girl.

That's, that's, that's really great advice. I like that. We got married on June 1st in Moncks Corner, South Carolina. Turned out to be, I don't know, maybe the hottest day ever. Three of hot days. And it was so hot that by the end, because we also, back then. Don't you think it's funny things that we do now that we didn't do back then? Like, we didn't do first looks, didn't do gender reveals, we didn't do engagement parties, we didn't do engagement photos. You know, like, there's all these things that we didn't do. Promposals. There's all these things that people do now that make their lives so much more stressful. But anyway, we had took, took our photos after. But we I wanted everybody to go ahead and like eat and we had like barbecue and iced tea and all that. It was like a to good home Southern wedding. And so afterwards it is so hot. I mean like it's so hot that my kneecaps are sweating and. And I was dying and somebody came up to me, I don't know who, I don't remember who it was, but they were like, can I get you something to drink? I was like, oh my gosh, I would love some tea. And they were like, well, we only have water left. Like, well, I'll take water. But it was so hot that like everything, all the tea got got drank and there was only water left. So anyway. Okay, are you had.

I don't know if we ever told this, but we got into our honeymoon suite and the limo dropped us off. We got in, but there was a mix up and we had booked the honeymoon suite, but they put us in a room with two queen beds instead of one king bed. And we both were like. So we slept, I think midnight to three in one bed. And then we're like, well, that one's unmade. So we moved over and we slept three to six in the before our honeymoon flight. So that was.

I forgot about that.

That's funny.

Just. It's like I Love Lucy. We slept in separate beds, but I did find the book. Holly. So we're ready for whenever you want. We could do a Jenny entry and a Levi entry or whatever you want to do.

That might be long though.

Pick one for us.

Okay.

Pick one you want to read.

So I like this one because it's so many marriages deal with the hardship of porn and all these other things. And I think it was really important that we not have this. Be like the Hallmark devotional, but actually deal with where people are living. So this one's called To Build a Fire. The verse is Acts 20. It says, the Lord Jesus himself said, it is more blessed to give than to receive. May I read half? You read how a while back we did a relationship Q A at our church. And the big question people kept asking was, how do you keep sex fun after you've been married for a while? Well, sheesh, let's get right into it, shall we? No punches pulled. I guess to answer that question, I would say practice. The more you practice, the more fun you'll have. It's like playing the violin. If you spend years practicing playing the violin, does it make you better or worse at it? With that in mind, think about a Stradivarius. It's the most expensive guitar worth up to $16 million. You were working with one of those. Do you say wow?

No, I said violin because you said guitar.

Oh, sorry. My brain must have just transposed that you would take the time to observe it, get to know it, be an expert at it, because it's a masterpiece. When you think of sex like this, you remember the goal of sex is to give pleasure, not to receive it. We're living in an era of increasingly auto VR, artificial and on the horizon robotic sex where so many people are having pornographic experiences solo. But really at the end of the day, that's so empty. It's all about taking, it's all about receiving pleasure and not giving it. The climax of sex like that leaves you by yourself with the release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone release in sex and in breastfeeding, following orgasm, but with no one to bond with. That is why there is such cold despair that follows the euphoria of masturbation. And the most pleasure you will ever have is in giving it and then experiencing the warm comfort of post coital cuddling. Like Jesus said, this is the best sex advice you'll ever get. It is more blessed to give than to receive. Acts 20:35 when he finish it.

Okay, well this is very small.

It's very small type.

So when your mentality is I want to give pleasure, I want to understand my spouse in order to learn how to give them pleasure. Sex can't get old. And you know what else? There's nothing sexier than praying with your spouse. I'm serious. It's in our times of praying together, the intimacy we feel, the oneness we feel together before God, that passion that.

I find Jenny most desirable.

This is.

Levi wrote this one. So I would say build your prayer life. Also try to think outside the bedroom. That's where sex begins. It's been said that sex starts in the kitchen and if you don't have kids, that might literally be true. Hello for you guys.

Shout out, no kids in the house.

The mentality of thinking outside the bedroom is starting that morning at the breakfast table and continuing with small words of kindness throughout the day. It's that text, that note, that sweet attitude when your spouse gets a text from you at 2:00 clock in the afternoon that says, I'm thinking of you, I'm praying for you, I love you. It's like kindling for a fire. When you're building a fire, you put all the wood in, in place, but it's the little bits, the newspaper and twigs and kindling that makes it catch fire. Those are all the things you're doing throughout the day. It's picking up your wet towel and hanging it up. It's remembering the little things the other person loves. It's going out of your way to do something nice. It's keeping track of those things and remembering them. That's how you keep the fires of marriage blazing. Good sex depends on how you guard yourself throughout the day too. The more you're compromising with what you're looking at, the more that erodes your satisfaction with your spouse. Ultimately, one of the big problems with pornography is that it trains you not to be pleased by the spouse God gave you. You get waylaid by the novelty and the stimulation of someone else. So it all comes down to what you don't allow and what you intentionally consciously do. And then focusing more on giving them than receiving. So make sure you have the kindling you need to build a fire in your marriage. Practice prayer, small actions and a well protected mind. All these things add up to keeping things fresh and fun in the bedroom.

And then there's discussion questions and conversation starters and a prayer to pray.

I gotta say, Levi, you started us off with something pretty intense there.

Orgasmic.

Start right off with sex.

Lunchtime with Holly Furtick, the R rated edition.

No, but in all seriousness, that was really great and that was really helpful. And I love how this book is like, like you said, you know, short enough that you can do it when you have a second, but. But really punchy enough to give you something to think about. I love that picture of the kindling of a fire because it's just, it's so important in a relationship. And I think people don't, they don't really put too much. They, they wonder like, you know, what's wrong with our sex life. And they really. And they don't ever think about like, well, we aren't nice to each other. So of course, like who wants to have sex with someone who isn't nice to them, you know? Yeah, it's so true. So what? Well, here's a question. What is your kindling for each other? Like something that, like something that the other person does for you that means a lot to you that maybe they don't know?

Well, I mean, I think what, what I, what I try and do for kindling, I think is like making the bed. Like, I know that it's a tiny thing for me, but it means, it seems like it means a disproportionate amount to Jenny because she'll comment on it, like, thank you. So I just trained. The wet towel was not a joke. Like hanging up towels, making the bed, those. It seems like. And I think little texts like that, they mean more to Jenny than gifts. Because I'm. I spent the early part of our marriage trying to give 12 Days of Christmas and realizing that doesn't move the needle for Jenny, you know. So I think you have to figure out how they receive it, not just how you like to give it.

Yeah, Yeah. I think the little kindnesses, like what you're saying, like being nice goes such a long way. It's like tone how I say something. I feel like that's something that I've struggled with but makes. Means everything to him. Like just a respectful tone, a kind tone, like how I bring stuff up or, or speak to him. I feel like that's huge.

And just remember to flirt. I think it's so easy to flirt when you're dating, but you forget the power of flirtation when you're. When you're married.

Yeah.

Yeah. Because when you're married and the longer that you're married, the more all of your interactions become like, my husband has a word that he uses. I can't remember. It's like business, like business as usual. And so, you know, like, one of the things that he does such a good job at is just texting me for no reason. Like, how's your day going? And you know, I love you. Just little things that you would do if you hadn't been married for, for 20 years. And I think that's really hard for women because, you know, like my first thing is like, okay, make sure he knows that Graham has wrestling today till 5:30 and, and dinner's going to be late because the kids have egroup and are you able to pick up so and so. And you know, like, as a woman, you're like trying to be efficient and run your family and you forget that like your business partner here is, is your lover.

Right.

And, and making sure that like, you treat him as such. It's just, it's just, it's the little things, right, that, that like, make a marriage powerful. So let me ask you this, you guys. Jenny, I don't know if you remember this, but years and years ago, like probably like 10 years ago, we had this, this conversation and we were talking about why your marriage survived the loss of a child. Because most marriages don't survive catastrophic events. So whether it's the loss of a child or having a special needs child or infertility, like Some of these, like the, the catastrophic events, marriages don't survive, but yours did. And I don't know if you remember our conversation was sort of like in the context of. It's not, it's not the, the catastrophic event that kills your marriage. It's what it was leading up to it that it, it couldn't now. It was like, couldn't sustain this, this, this type of break. So what do you think it was that you built? What, how, how do you understand what I'm getting at? Like, what did you build that enabled you to lean into each other during that time instead of growing apart?

Good.

That's really good. I do remember that conversation. I.

I think it's all, it's all.

Everything that we're talking about. It's the little things, like, but it's also the big things. So like when we got married, we said that we're committed to each other for better or for worse, and sickness and in health, till death do us part. And so I think it's keep. It's knowing that that was a promise that we made to each other that is a real commitment. Not just like, oh, I'm just flippantly saying, like, I'm going to commit my life to you, but then not walking it out, but then like we're talking about it's the little things that will keep that.

Yeah, we always love to think about that parable Jesus said about building your. What you build your life on is what determines how you survive storms. You know, the guy that build on sand, the guy builds on rock, you know, so like you're going to go through storms. It's, it's, it's not, it's a question, not a question of when, if, but when. So.

Right.

So, you know, for us it was. We believe in being planted in the house and flourishing in the courts of God. And our instincts are, you know, when Sunday. It's church. It's family, it's. It's tithing. I mean, I'm convinced tithing is one of the best things you can do to prepare yourself for grief. Because when Linya went to heaven, our treasure was already there. And one of our most special things is year end, you know, and we're just so with the whole elevation family and efam as you guys move towards this time of giving. And I'm telling you, families, like watching this is a way to anchor your hearts in heaven. You can literally buy a greater heart for God. You know, there's. You can, that's something you can buy by Giving into heaven. And so, like, I think for us, it's those rhythms. It's having people like you and Pastor Steven in our lives, you know, so to. You're doing life with it's. And letting God's word set the pace. All those things you do. Michael Jordan said, it's what's done in empty gyms that fills up arenas.

Yes.

And so everyone looks at the moment where we were on our knees in the hospital. That's not the moment we won. It was the tiny thousand decisions of walking with Jesus before that.

And I think also knowing for people watching that it wasn't, like, perfect. Like, it wasn't like this happened. And then we just, like, we did cling to each other, but there were, like, there were rough moments. There were, like, I like that we weren't on. Like, there were times where we weren't on the same page. And I think that one particular moment.

Comes to mind by a tree in Orange County, I was. Yeah. Remember the big fight we had in Newport Beach?

That's probably the worst one.

Yeah.

But I mean, grief is so weird. Like, honestly, even after. It'll be 10 years this coming up month in December that Lenny went to heaven. So it's like 10 years have gone by, but grief is so weird. And I feel like that's the only way I can really describe it. It's just, it's weird. It doesn't make any sense. But for both of us, like, people are so different. They grieve differently. So, like, for the most part, I feel like we were pretty much, like, on the same wavelength. But there were times where he was good and I was low, or I was great and he was low. And it was like finding having grace for each other in those moments. But, I mean, that one fight where I think Levi's natural response in hard time is to just push forward and just keep going and just, we're gonna meet with these people. For me, I more naturally just want to be home. I, I, My happy place is at home in my, in my bed, in our kitchen. Like, I just, I, I tend to retreat. And so that was a moment where we were visiting a family and he wanted to go do this and I didn't. I just wanted, I was just having a really hard, low moment and I wanted to stay in the hotel. I didn't even want to be in California. And so I was just like, I hate this. I hate you. I hate everything. I hate that Lenny is not here. Like, I was just, like, low, low, low, low. And we, I Took a walk around the block. We worked through it, but it's just, it's not, it doesn't happen perfectly is all I'm trying to say. Like, it might seem like, oh, Levi and Jenny, they just made it through and it was just glorious and shiny and sparkly. But there's hard moments and I think it's just holding tight to Jesus. The foundation that we both relied on was Jesus. And in the hard and the good and the ugly and the yucky, like that's the key.

Yeah. So we're going to give a book away to Peggy Ewer. Peggy, we're sending you a book because she said grace is so important and it's true. And I think like actually in this answer, you answered the question before that and it's like, what, what were your building blocks? What were your rocks that enabled you to push through this, like this horrific trauma? And it's grace. Right? But it was learning to give grace to each other in the everyday stuff like learning to extend grace when your spouse is in a bad mood and instead of saying, you know, oh, you know, there's, I'm not a good wife, or he's mad at me. No, he's taking it out on you because you're his safe place. He had a bad day. So like, can you give, can you give your spouse the grace that you would hope that he would extend to you? And you've had a bad day when you failed, when you didn't pick up your towel, when you didn't make the bed that day and it was your, you know, that, that you do it on Tuesdays, whatever. Like it's the grace and the small moments that leads you to the grace in the big moments. And I think we don't want the small moments of marriage though. But I think most people don't realize that that is the building blocks of a solid foundation in a marriage is what you choose to do in the small, the, the smallest of, of situations.

100%. Everyone wants to throw that 75 yard touchdown. But victory marriage is 3 yards and a cloud of dust, you know, over and over again.

It's good. So true.

Well, man, that was, that was awesome. Let me, let's, let's take a shift. Okay, first of all, can you guys see the comments?

Yes.

Can you pick two people to give a book to?

You see, Jenny, I mean, Aaron Barton said grace plus grace equals mega grace. That's good math in my book.

Yeah, that is good math.

All right, give her one.

Jenny.

You guys.

Oh, I'm sorry. What about.

I don't know if she was waiting for. She was just reading.

I was reading. What about Catherine Jane Fitch. It starts in our mind before it comes out. That's so true. It starts in our mind what we think about.

Lisa Fisher said, fight to flourish. So we're going to.

Good one, Lisa.

All right, if we've called your name, email us at Holly Furtick YouTube elevationchurch.org we're going to send you a book, guys. Is there any common marriage advice that you disagree with? You know, like, you hear somebody say, I don't know, something like, never go to bed angry.

Terrible advice.

Yeah, I don't like that one either. Is there any other ones that you. That you hear and you're like, or that you maybe wrote about in the book that you're like, I don't. I don't agree with that.

Such a great question.

That's a really good question.

I mean, to pick on. Sometimes the best thing you can do is go to bed, give that space, take that lap. You know, not working out in the moment, but what you have to. But you have to make sure you put a bookmark in. So we'll put. Our bookmark will be like, hey, listen, we're both really not rested right now. We need a fresh perspective. Let's agree we love each other. Let's go to sleep and then talk about it tomorrow. I think one thing that helps us, too, is cheating. Like in sports, you can't cheat. Like giving someone a tip. We've learned to love cheating. So she'll be like, hey, just say. She'll whisper to me, do this. She's almost stepping outside of the fight and giving me advice. That's. That's cheating technically, but it's like, hey, that's great. I'll take that.

Same team.

Go ahead, Go ahead.

Oh, no, go ahead.

So, Ronnie Martinez, we're going to send you a book, too, because I like what she said. She doesn't like the advice of having a 5050 marriage. That marriage is. Is 100. 100. I think that's so true. In that I think one of the most detrimental things to a marriage is when you keep score. I did. I was the last one to. Whether it's anything from unload the dishwasher to mogulon, from house chores to apologizing, you know, like, it's your turn to apologize first. I like. I just think that's terrible advice to live by.

Yeah. This isn't the same exact thing, but one of my big pet peeves is when People talk about kids having a child as in terms of starting a family, because it's like, what were you before you had the child? And if the child makes it a family, the child leaving, is it no longer a family? So I think, like, change that verbiage.

Yeah, yeah.

Your family.

When you get married, the moment you say I do. Your family.

Yeah.

What do you think is the most essential ingredient for a good marriage? Like, if somebody was getting married and they're like, what's one thing that I should work on? What would you each say?

Gosh, I mean, we were just talking about this the other day, but just how humility is such a, like, foundational thing in everything. I mean, humility, how we view ourselves before God, humility, how we view ourselves before each other. I feel like that just that heart of, like, Psalm 139, like, search me, oh God, and know my heart. See if there's anything in me that's not pleasing to you. Like, I feel like that whole just me and you, God, that changes everything. And then when you look at your spouse, it's like you get to enjoy more.

I don't know.

I just feel like humility is, like, such a key thing in fights, in joy and everything.

It's like, I would say laughter. I don't know. I feel like. Like when a child if, like, appetites, telltale sign of health. Like, I feel like for us, like, when we're not laughing, like, when we were newly married, I always would try and catch Jenny's eye and make her laugh when she walked by or whatever. And I feel like when. When you protect the laughter, you're not taking yourself so seriously. You're having fun. You can still hear the music. I don't know. I feel like that's just. We still think we love to make fun of each other. We love all of our inside jokes we've collected. I just. I feel like that sense of laughter and cracking each other up is so vital.

Yeah, it's good.

So what would you say? Because we're running out of time and I want to make sure that we get to this, but what would you say to the person watching who maybe their spouse would not be on board with a marriage devotional activity? Can they read the book for themselves? And what. What would you say to. To that person?

Yeah, I think definitely I was just kind of walking with a girl who's really struggling in their marriage. She wants to fight for it that he doesn't. And she was like, what do I do? And I think the Key thing is focusing on yourself and like, how am I growing? How am I walking through stuff? And I think that you can read the marriage devotional on your own. I feel like that the truth, even just reading God's word, letting God do a deep work in you. I mean you've, you've shared it in your, Your study misses better half like.

You can is when I change me, I change us.

Yes. And that, that has changed my life and my perspective. Reading that in your study of you can actually do a huge work when you just focus on. On yourself and your reaction and your attitude and your heart and your relationship with the Lord. And so I would say yes.

And it was really important to us that we designed a cover that a man would not be embarrassed to read on an airplane. You know, like, you just see these marriage books. It's like butterflies, like crawling out of a unicorn's eyes, you know, the doilies underneath it. And we just, we knew this there was going to be a felt need for women of the topic. But for a man, like, it's black and white, it's pretty rugged. You wouldn't. Would look good on a coffee table but not be embarrassed to read on an airplane, you know, it's good.

Yeah, I love it. And I think I just would want to encourage everyone who is watching, even if you're maybe not in a marriage currently, that even you can still read a book like this and, and focus on yourself and think about the things that you would do differently if God were to. Were to give you a second chance at love or a first chance. You know, it's, it's. There's always things that we can do to work on ourselves. And like you said, Jenny, even about humility, I mean, you have. I think we underestimate the power that we have to change all of our relationships by simply working on ourselves, simply looking inside. And like you said, Levi, what did you say Jesus said when you were talking about sex?

Oh, more blessed to give than to receive.

More blessed to give to them, to receive and to think about the things that you want to receive from all the people in your life to give those things to give to your husband, if you are wishing that he gave you more affection or more attention to give those things to him and to realize that all of us have soul work that we need to do that can better our relationships. And I think rather than focusing on. Because I, I would imagine that there's somebody out there watching that's like, oh, well, you know, my husband would never read that Book with me or, you know, my. My spouse thinks she's perfect. She would never. She thinks we don't need a marriage devotional. But realizing that, like, well, whether they get on board with you or not, there's always work that you can do for yourself. And just trusting that if God's doing the work in your heart and you. And you're listening to him, that he's going to do a work in your.

Yes.

In your spouse's heart, too, right?

Yes, without a doubt.

So good.

Yeah.

So true.

If you just read it and leave it right around the house, you never know, you know, and we also have heard a lot of people saying that this is going to be in their gift arsenal, you know, in addition to whatever couples register for. It's like a newly engaged couple or married couple or whatever.

Yeah, that's a great, great Christmas gift for those people who are, you know, down at the bottom of our. Of our scale. All our ones, twos, and threes, pick this up. Tell everybody where they can grab this book.

Anywhere you can buy books.

The marriage devo.com is the one stop shop for all the things. And we did the audiobook ourselves, too. So if you want to hear the audiobook.

Well, you know, I love a good.

Audiobook while doing the dishes. Right, Holly? That's what you always do.

Yes, dishes, driving, drying my hair, all of it. I love books that live with me.

And your love of books has blessed so many people, not the least of which is you helping me understand the dust bowl, which shaped my talk at Passion a couple years ago. You just give so many. The rabbits, Holly. The rabbits. Yeah. Your recommendations have just ringed out around.

The world to all of us, honestly.

Well, thank you. Well, I highly recommend this one. I love it. The Marriage Devotional. Let me give a couple more away. How many have I given away? Oh, I have three more giveaways to do to get us to 10. So let's do. Kimberly Tate says thank you for the great work of this book. Penny Pike I already caught. She's been with us the whole time. And what a cool name. Penny, we're sending you a book.

And where's that lasagna girl? That's a great name.

Girl. Okay. What was her? Well, I don't remember what her name was. Do we have any guys on here? Let's see if we can find a man to send this book to. There's a lot of women on here, guys.

Yep.

Well, anybody see a man? Ashley's got one.

Is Jamie Mathis a man? He's on here?

Yeah.

He says, me, me, me.

Ronnie Martinez. We got Ronnie Martinez. We have verified that it is a man in his.

In his.

Troy, what do you call it, your avatar?

I didn't know what this was. I thought it was a periscope. I was like.

You know, sign language is my second language.

We have identified it from his.

Jenny and Levi, I love you guys. You guys are. Are truly me and Steven, some of our best friends in the whole world. We, Levi, we really got to get back on planning our summer trip that we're going to take together. But most of all, thank you for the gift that you guys are to the world. Thank you for putting this book out. Because like you said at the beginning, Ginny, it's. It's a really big deal to put yourself out there and say, here's some things that we've done right and here's some things that we've done wrong to be vulnerable. And I think this book is. Is. Is going to help a lot of people. And so I'm grateful for you guys that you would have the courage to do that. I love you guys. Thank you.

Thanks for having us, Holly.

Missed you both. Give your husband a hug from me, okay?

Stay warm.

Alrighty.

Bye, guys. All right, well, I hope you love that as much as I did. Thank you for hanging in there and joining us and being with me in the comments. If you enjoyed this interview, make sure you leave me a comment. Let me know. Make sure you, like, subscribe. What's the thing called where you get notifications? Hit the little bell so you can know if we're doing fun things like this again. If you have anybody that you like for me to interview for Lunchtime Live, go ahead and leave a comment. Make me a suggestion. I'll see what I can do. Maybe in another nine months, we'll come back into a Lunchtime Live. No, I promise you we'll do some more Lunchtime lives in 2023. And Merry Christmas and God be with you to all of the zeros, ones and twos out there who are barely started on their Christmas shopping. Don't worry about it. It's not even December 1st. You got this. I love you guys. I'll see you back here next time.