Surviving Motherhood | Fearless Mom Conference | Holly Furtick

Was anybody in here ever a Girl Scout? Let me just see. Show of hand. Girl Scouts. Okay. There's a lot of you. I was not a Girl Scout. I always wanted to be a Girl Scout. Not because I love the outdoors. I don't. Not because I love serving my community. I do. I do now. Not when I was a little girl. It wasn't important to me. I actually don't even like Girl Scout cookies. I don't have one that I like. That wasn't why I wanted to be a Girl Scout. The reason that I wanted to be a Girl Scout was because of the uniforms. I vividly remember this little red headed girl in my kindergarten class. And every Wednesday she wore her brownie uniform to school. She had the little like. I think brownies have a vest. Not as hash. She had her little vest and like, do they have like a beret? She looked so cute. And I wanted to be a Brownie so bad. But I was a ga. Anybody in here? Were you a ga? So on Wednesday nights at my church, we had gas. GA stood for Girls in Action. And it was the Southern Baptist version of Girl Scouts, minus the sash and the cookies. So anyway, the other day I was driving in my car alone and I started laughing out loud, thinking about. I don't know why I started thinking about Girl Scout sashes, but thinking about how cool it would be if we had sashes and patches for moms, right? Like, it would be an immediate way to connect with other moms. You would be like, you earned your potty training badge. High five. That is so disgusting. I thought my kids would never use the toilet. It's so gross. Or you could be like, oh, you got the work from home Covid badge. That was awful. I'm never gonna homeschool my kids. Guys, I had a sash made for myself. You wanna see it? All right. Okay. Okay. I had it done in like a satin color, you know, because like, true Beverly Hills and. Okay, so. Oh, that's not gonna help, does it? Look. Okay. Okay, so. Okay, so you can see on my sash that I'm the proud mom of two boys and a girl. And here's my name. 226. That's today's date. Next. You see? I don't know if you can see this one. This is not my vaccine status. I don't know why you were thinking that this is an epidural needle because I do not have the natural childbirth badge. If you do, that's awesome. And then I just want to point out one more for you. Let's see. Where is it? This is my most current badge. Let me stand still. And the one that I am the most proud of. I don't know if you can tell what this is, but this is the Teach a kid to drive badge. If you have earned this badge, please raise your hand. I salute you. Oh, wait, this is Hunger Games. Sorry. This is Girl Scouts, right? To date, the hardest thing I have done as a mom and I've got two more to go, so God help me. Julie, I have a sash for you too. Come, come, come quick, come quick. Okay. I don't have a sash for anyone else. Okay. Don't get your hopes up. Okay. Here's your sash. Okay. What do they call this? Like it's a. It's a badge presentation celebration. What do they get your. Okay. Anyway. Okay, Julie, so you've got a girl and a boy. And this one right here, this is the concussion badge. I don't know if you've seen the video of Joseph hitting his head. And then you also have. Hold on, let me see, let me see. You have the Empty Nest badge. I'm so proud of you for that one. That's the best one. Uh huh. They were up here on stage. That is. I'm looking forward to that one. Okay. And then I didn't know your vaccine status or your birth story, so I didn't put anything on there. Okay. I love mine. Thank you. You're welcome. Okay, so the title of my message today is badge check. Because it's fun to think about all the badges that we earn as moms. And I know some moms, they don't even need a sash. They're gonna let you know that they have the homeschool badge, you know, the childbirth tub badge. Any of you know the mom who has the future soccer pro badge. All of those are awesome. But today I want you to check your sash and I want you to think about what badges have you earned. But also I want to show you three badges that you absolutely must have if you are going to survive this calling called motherhood. It's going to be super cheesy, but hopefully you're going to remember I'm not going to wear this the whole time because, you know, it might be a little. Oh, you want me to wear it the whole time? Okay, well, well, okay. I mean, I did always want to be a Girl Scout. All right, okay, so to do this, we are going to look at perhaps the most famous mother of all time, Mary, the mother of Jesus. Okay, so let's go because I Don't want to waste any more of my time. Here we go. We're going to turn to Luke, chapter one, and we're going to start in verse 26. In the sixth month of Elizabeth's pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. And the angel went to her and said, greetings, you who are highly favored. The Lord is with you. And Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, do not be afraid, Mary. You have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are going to call him Jesus. He will be great, and he will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob's descendants, who forever his kingdom will never end. How will this be, Mary? Asked the angel. Since I am a virgin, the angel answered, the Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the Holy One to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth, your relative, is going to have a child in her old age. And she who is said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail. This is my favorite verse in the whole Bible. I am the Lord's servant, Mary answered. May your word to me be fulfilled. Then the angel left her. Mary was chosen by God to be the mother of the Messiah. As if motherhood doesn't have enough pressure, she's gonna raise the Son of God. And we don't know anything about Mary prior to this passage of Scripture, but as the story unfolds, we find that she is a girl from Nazareth who is engaged to be married. And the angel comes to her and says, greeting. And when I read this passage, I like to think about, where was Mary when the angel came to her? What. What was she doing? The passage doesn't say that she was in church or that she was kneeling in prayer. It doesn't even say that she was sleeping. Because, you know, in the Bible, a lot of times God came to people while they were sleeping. It simply says that the angel came to her. And I believe that Mary had a relationship with God. She had an awareness, his presence in her everyday life. I think God knew that he could interrupt any old day in Mary's life and that she would be ready to receive from him. And this would possibly be one of the most important traits that she was gonna need over the next 33 years. Mary had. This is our first badge. She had the dove badge. I've got one on my sash down here. She had the dove badge. The dove represents the Holy Spirit. The angel told her that the Holy Spirit would come upon her and the power of the most high God would overshadow her. It was basically saying something much bigger than her is going to come from her. Isn't that the goal of every mom? When you have a relationship with God, you have a unique connection to the Holy Spirit. Oftentimes in the Bible, the Holy Spirit is called the comforter. He's called the the guide. And this is the thing that we cannot do without. Yet in my life, it's often the very first thing to go when my life gets busy. My relationship with God. And I just wonder today if you are aware of God's presence in your everyday life, or is your life so crowded and so back to back to back that God would have to strike lightning to get your attention? Mary was just there, and the angel came to her. And being aware of God's presence doesn't necessarily mean, Emily, I don't know where you are. That you get up at 5am every day for prayer and Bible study. If you can do that, that's amazing. That's awesome. I salute you. You have the Quiet Time badge. I just can't do that. And I do think that it is really important, obviously, to spend time reading and studying God's word and praying and listening to worship music. All of these things are essential to my growth and to my strength as a mom. But for me, it doesn't always happen the way it looks on Instagram with my coffee and my candle and my journal. I mean, we have children. Fire is a hazard in my house. What is it with kids and blowing out the candle or sticking their fingers in? Okay, most days for me, I have to look for pockets. You may not have an hour to spend each day in time growing and learning and hearing from God, but I bet you have some pockets. Like perhaps, what do you do on your commute to work? Or what do you do when you're sitting at your kid's sports practice? I mean, a lot of days I play Candy Crush. Okay, I'm not saying I get this right every time. I'm a big Candy Crush fan. What's playing in the background while you're doing laundry? What do you do when you're on your lunch break or during nap time, or the last thing that you do before you fall asleep. Mary had space in her life for God. And we live in the most amazing day and time right now where you can fill the space in your life with sermons and worship music and audiobooks and podcasts. But if you don't have a plan for your pockets, you will end up scrolling during every extra second of your day. And the single most important lesson that I have had to learn, and am trying to learn as I embrace motherhood, is that I have to know that who I know, my living, breathing relationship with God is far more important to my children than what I do for them. This is the space where I get filled. This is the space where I get wisdom. This is the place where I learn to decipher between fear and discernment. But if I don't make space for God, how will I ever be able to receive guidance from Him? And while I'm on the topic of making space, space in your life, I think that some of us have let our lives get crowded. So crowded that we don't have room for church. The past two years have been strange and gathering has not been easy. You know, we get, we can, we can't. We mask, we don't. I mean, it's complicated. Maybe during all that time you let your kids join a travel team because it was outdoors and it was less people. And now getting your family to church is complicated. And I'm worried that we're raising a generation of kids who won't be able to say that they grew up in church. Sure, maybe you watch online or you listen in your car and listen. I want to be careful because I thank God for online church. We have reached so many people with the gospel through these Internet. But what I want to ask you is, are you prioritizing getting your kids around other believers? Are you getting them around other people who believe in them and will cheer them on during these foundational years of their faith? Are you doing that? Are you modeling that? In Luke chapter two, we find Mary and Joseph presenting Jesus at the temple. They were prioritizing the traditions of their faith. And if you're not careful, you will let important things get crowded out for urgent things or other things that you said yes to when you should have said no. And then you're going to find yourself going through a difficult storm and you're not going to have the roots to get through because you have not made God's presence a priority in your life. The strength that you need for, for the next season is in the things that God wants to speak to you now. Do you have space for him? Did you notice in the passage that Mary only asked one question? It's in verse 34. She said, how will this be since I am only a virgin now? When I read this, I think if this were me, I would have had a few other things to go over with God. I would have been like, okay, but God, just so you know, I'm just a girl. Like, I don't. I never had a baby. I don't know nothing about raising babies. Are you sure you don't, like, want to put Jesus in a baby family like Julie's family? You know, I also might have been like God. I'm really worried that no one's gonna believe me. I'm not good enough. I'm not strong enough. I'm not smart enough. What about my past God? I was thinking maybe I could be the grandmother of the Messiah. That would be a lot more fun. So here's the next badge that Mary had. Mary had the mirror badge. This badge represents Mary's acceptance of her calling. The calling that God had placed on her life. Her life. Not her neighbor's life, not some influencer that she follows on Instagram. Her life. And the thing about a calling is it's only for you. And the thing about the calling of motherhood is your kids are your kids. And I don't know if you're like me, but there have been many times where I thought God made a mistake and that I did not have what Elijah, Graham, and Abby needed. I mean, from the very beginning, guys, I was shocked when I learned that I was having a boy. I don't know why I was shocked. I mean, I did know that there was a 50, 50 chance. But it was so strange, because the moment I found out I was having a boy, I realized I had wanted to be a mom all my life. But I'd never pictured myself having boys, raising boys. And I was scared to death to have a boy. And then the baby came, and it was nothing like I imagined. The thing about kids is they're, you know, like final sale. You can't return them for a different one. You can't trade them with someone else. You have got to accept the calling that God has placed on your life. And if you don't hear me say anything else today, I want you to hear me say this. The best person to raise your kids is you. God put that child in your lap, and you are the woman for the job. But nothing will take your energy and your confidence faster than comparison. Because the easy thing to do is to watch YouTube videos of someone else's day in the life and think how easy they have it, how they don't struggle financially or their kids don't struggle in school. And I want you to be reminded today that no one is exempt from from hard, no matter how beautiful they make their life look. And the sooner that I stop comparing my hard to your seemingly not as hard, the sooner that I can walk in confidence in the calling that God has given me. Mary replied, I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said. She said, I accept the assignment. There's no filter for a mirror. And when you stand in front of the mirror, you have to face the facts of who you are. Good and bad, strengths and weaknesses, good decisions and bad decisions. But I want you to stand in front of the mirror today and tomorrow and the next day and give yourself a pep talk and live the the life that you were given to live with purpose and power, the power of the Holy Spirit. You are enough and you have everything that you need for today. If you will look and listen, you will find your next step. Look at verse 34. Go back to Mary's question. Mary asked the angel, how can this happen since I am a virgin? The angel replied, the Holy Spirit will come upon you and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy and he will be called the Son of God. What's more, your relative Elizabeth has become pregnant in her own old age. People used to say that she was barren, but she has conceived a son son. And now in her sixth and is now in her sixth month. For the word of God will never fail. I think I have a different translation here. I don't know if that's the same one they're putting up there. Mary responded, I'm the Lord's servant. May everything that you have said about me come true. And then the angel left her. So let's go back to imagining this scenario. A freaking angel comes to Mary and he tells her that she is blessed and highly favored. And he gives her a handful of small details, like, in my opinion, not the right details. He tells her that she's what she's going to name the baby and how it's all going to be done through the power of the Holy Spirit. And then he leaves. And imagine Mary, she's like, did that really just happen? Like, did I just imagine that? Or what was that And I bet in that moment, alone with just her thoughts, I mean, this is what would happen to me. And obviously, God didn't pick me. But her mind was probably going, what, wild with completely crazy thoughts of doubt and fear and discouragement. But in a split second, I believe that she recalled a random, seemingly random detail that the angel said. I don't know if you caught it. Your cousin Elizabeth is going to bear a son. And that was all she needed to figure out her next step. Mary asked the angel. Mary asked the angel how. But she didn't get how. She got who. Cousin Elizabeth is going to bear a son. The angel didn't stay and coach her through the process. He pointed her to a person. And the Bible says in the next verse that she is. My. My. My. My thing is slipping. Sorry. The Bible says in the next verse that she got ready and hurried to the town of Judea where Elizabeth was. And I'm just wondering today, is there a person that God is pointing you to who can help you through this calling of motherhood? Mary understood that her strength would come from the people that she surrounded herself with. And when I am confident in my calling, I don't need to compete. I don't need to compare. I need to align myself with those who will confirm what is already inside of me. You were never intended to go through this life alone. Julie said it. I said it. You're going to hear it all day, because you've got to accept that. But you do have to get the order right. Some badges have prerequisites. You can't earn one before you. You have to earn one before you get the next one. And Mary received her calling from God first. From God, not from other people. Then she accepted her situation. And then she realized that if she was gonna have a baby, she better get herself around someone who is a little bit farther down the road than she was. Guys, this. This is the elephant badge. Don't put my picture up yet. Oh, that picture's fine. That picture's fine. Okay. This is the elephant badge. And you may be wondering why I would call this the elephant badge. I have to tell you a little bit about elephants. I could tell you a lot about elephants, but I'm only going to tell you a little bit. Elephants are a matriarchal society. That means that they kick the boys out when they are teenagers. How many of you think that sounds great? And they operate as one unit. They care for each other's young. The older teach the younger how to watch for danger or where to find Water. They stick together. They go at the same pace. So if one of their herd is sick or injured, they slow down. They grieve when they lose one of their own. And they have this thing that they do when one of their own herd is vulnerable. And I have a picture to show you. They circle up. Okay, Leave this picture up for a moment. This is one of the most beautiful photographs I've ever seen. Do you see how they're in a circle? They do this to protect they're young. When lions are attacking. They do this when one of their own is giving birth. They circle around her and they face outwards. And, ladies, I don't know if you have ever had the honor of having some women come around you during a time of need, but it is a beautiful thing to experience. We need each other. I need you, and you need me. This is the body of Christ. And I'm not talking today about marriage. That's a whole nother session. And marriage is great. And yes, I mean, we can't really at least start motherhood without marriage, right? Today's about friendship. And, yes, I know what you're thinking, and so I'm going to go ahead and say it. There are people out there who are dramatic. There are people, women especially, who are crazy. There are mean girls who don't go away when you graduate high school. What you say, be picky with your cliquey. And I just wonder if maybe you've been using the wrong criteria for your support system, because what you want to do is get yourself around someone who, like I said, is a little bit farther down the road from you. Maybe somebody who's a little bit behind you. Maybe not somebody who's older than you, necessarily. Maybe somebody who's more mature or more experienced. Someone that you look up to for who they are, not what they wear or what they have, but someone who has walked where you are walking, someone who can help you prepare for the twists and turns of this journey called motherhood. And when Mary got to Elizabeth, she immediately confirmed what was already happening inside of Mary. She said. She said this. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. We've got to have people in our lives who will call out what God has placed in us and on us. People who can see the fruit that isn't even there yet. Elizabeth celebrated Mary, and then she brought her into her life. And the Bible goes on to tell us that Elizabeth told us that Elizabeth was six months pregnant and that Mary stayed for three months. I don't know if you're good at math. But I think everyone in this room can do that math. Mary stayed until Elizabeth gave birth. And when it came time for Mary to give birth to her own child in a barn, alone, I mean, her husband was there. Whose voice do you think was in her head while she was giving birth? Whose voice is in your head? Who's around you? Who's cheering you on? Who's fought with you? Who's grief with you? Who can you call? If you've ever been around a group of women who rally during a crisis, it is a beautiful thing to behold. You ever seen some women circle up? I mean, people can make fun of casseroles, but we eat them when a crisis hits. I know you eat casseroles in Texas. When my father in law was in his final hours of life, I remember coming out of his bedroom into a kitchen that was full of food. I don't even know who brought it or how it got there. And my kids were being well cared for and one of my friends was just sitting on the front porch just in case we needed anything. Today to this day, I don't even know where her own children were. Have you ever received the support of a rallying group of women? If you have, you never forget it. I can think of multiple conversations that I've had with some of the women who are in my life that have gotten me through some of the most difficult moments of motherhood. Do you have a child with special needs? You better get around another woman who's walking that road. Do you know another woman who's going through a divorce? You better get her number on your speed dial. John tells us that there were three women and one man at the foot of the cross. All of them incidentally were named Mary. Mary the mother of Jesus. Mary the wife of Clopas and Mary Magdalene. Healthy women know the value of female friendships. And I believe that the number one tactic of the enemy over over the past two years has been isolation. And I'm afraid that we have lost the value of face to face relationships. The lie is that social media is connection. And I'm here to tell you today it is not that is pseudo connection. The lion attacks the elephant who is farthest away from the herd. Your community is the key to your success as a mom. There's a verse in Hebrews 10 that says I just. Sometimes when I read this verse I cannot believe that it was written however many thousands of years ago. It's just, just for today. It says this, Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Not giving up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another all the more. As you see the day approaching. If you don't build it now, if you let your life get too crowded for you to have meaningful relationships with others, other women, you will find yourself open to attack when you are the most vulnerable. And you know what? It is an amazing thing to feel the support of women in your life during a difficult time, but it is also a privilege to do it for someone else that you love. And when you walk alongside a friend through a divorce or through through a loss or through a sickness, you experience a level of friendship that can only be found in the struggle. What have you learned? Who can you help? The makings of a Mother Begin with the foundation of your relationship with Christ. You got to get that part right first. First. But you can't stop there because God has placed some people in your life in this season because you need them and they need you. And you are missing out on some of the joys of motherhood if you try to do it alone. I want to close with a verse from First John because I believe that this verse sums up everything that I want to say to you today. Says this but if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have what? Fellowship with one another? It starts with your relationship with God, but from that God blesses us with relationships with others. How can I support you through your struggle with infertility if you don't tell me about it? How can I know to pray for you in your marriage if you're always acting like it's perfect? How can I even celebrate your child's good behavior report if you never shared with me that he had a bad one? My favorite thing that Julie says is shame, like mold, grows in the dark. And I want you to know today that there is no shame when you are among true friends. When you bring your life into the light with the right people, I guarantee you you will find not only love. You will find hope and you will find fellowship. Hey, thanks for watching. I hope that that encouraged you today. Make sure that you subscribe so that you don't miss out on other videos like this and I'll see you back here next time.