Finding and Understanding Your Style

Today is September 9, 2025, and finally, after over a decade, the Personality Poker Book is available on Amazon. You can get the ebook for $0.99 for a limited time and the paperback version. So the content is the same as you've been listening to on this podcast, but it's a different format. And for $0.99, I think it's a pretty good deal to go get the E book. Now, this is a book which was published in 2010 by Penguin, and for the last decade it's not been available for purchase anywhere. I went through the process of updating the book, adding some new content and republishing it. And so what you are hearing in this podcast is the audiobook version of that book. But it is not read by me, Steven Shapiro. It is read by my Voice Clone. Now, the content of this book, just so you know, if you're not familiar with Personality Poker, the premise of it is that you want to play with a full deck. And basically what that means is each person needs to play to their strong suit. They need to do what they do better than anyone else. But because opposites don't attract, they detract. We tend to surround ourselves with people who are similar to us, great for efficiency, terrible for innovation. And so this book helps you collaborate, innovate, and create predictable growth in ways that you never thought possible. So I encourage you to get a copy of the book. Today's episode we're going to get into chapter four of the Personality Poker Book. And here we're going to start getting into the interpretation. We're going to start getting into the meaning of the cards. Not incredibly deep that comes in subsequent chapters, but this will at least give you a taste of what's happening. But again, if you want to go faster than the podcast is coming out, get the book now. It's easy to read, it's a great format. I think you really enjoy it. But with that, this is the end of real life, flesh and blood, Steven Shapiro. And you're now going to hear the AI voice clone of Steven Shapiro.

Chapter 4 Finding and Understanding youg Style Imagine a conference in Copenhagen with 300 business executives. They are in the midst of trading cards and improving their hands at the bargain basement sale. The room is loud and filled with laughter. Finally, I declare that the sale will end in 10 seconds and that people should return to their seats with five perfect cards in everyone's hands. Attendees are now eager to learn how to interpret their results. Unlike readers of this book, participants at my events are not given any indication that the suits, the colors and the numbers have any meaning. They are only told to select cards based on the words. Now it was time for me to reveal all. As you know by now, the suits represent the four primary innovation styles. The colors represent the two thinking styles and the numbers represent the two energy styles plus the unproductive behaviors. In chapter one, I quickly introduce the suits and the sub styles. Before deciding what your style is, let's refresh your memory with a quick overview of the entire process. Later in this chapter, we will dig deeper into each suits. Your Primary Innovation Personality the suits are the most important elements. The four suits are associated with the four primary innovation styles and the four phases of the innovation process. Spades these are the analytical data oriented people. They like facts and are a bit more cerebral than the other styles. They often make decisions based on analysis and are known for their deep knowledge. Their focus is on why change is needed. Engineers, philosophers, scientists and professors are typically spades. Clubs these are the people who plan the work and work the plans. They are more about structure and action. Bottom line results are critical. They focus on how change will be implemented. Some clubs, in particular the high outward ones, can be more competitive and action oriented than the other styles, making them a natural fit for CEOs of large corporations. The planning Low Inward clubs make great project managers, producers and quality control professionals. Hearts these people are all about relationships. They make decisions based on what others think. They are more empathetic and supportive and often take human resources or customer service roles. Some hearts are social butterflies and master networkers. They also make great diplomats and teachers. The who aspects of change are critical to them. Diamonds these are the more typical creative individuals. They like ideas and experiences. They make decisions based on what is enjoyable and often participate in artistic endeavors. Designers, actors and serial entrepreneurs, for example, are typically diamonds. Although they are primarily cerebral, they are also interested in the adventure. Diamonds don't care where they are going as long as they are having a good time getting there. Numbers your energy style each of the four primary styles also has substyles as indicated by the numbers. This indicates your energy style. One of the most important dimensions studied by personality psychologists is the introversion extroversion continuum. Most people think of an introvert as someone who likes to be alone and an extrovert as someone who likes to be the life of the party. However, psychologists use the terms more broadly. Clusters of traits characterize individuals who fall at either end of the introversion extraversion continuum. Certainly those at the introverted end of the spectrum prefer more solitary work. They do their best when working on their own or with small groups. However, taken more broadly, introversion also includes a tendency to be more easily overwhelmed by stimuli that are deemed too intense. They prefer predictability and a low likelihood of risk. For these reasons, they may be known for their depth of experiences rather than their breadth. They value time to reflect while also attaching importance to getting things done in an organized manner. We refer to these energy styles as inwardly focused. In Personality Poker, these individuals are represented by the 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 cards. Don't confuse introversion with shyness or reclusiveness. They are not related. Introverts prefer more solitary work, whereas shy individuals work alone out of fear or anxiety at the prospect of performing around others. Those at the extroverted end of psychologists scale are inclined to thrive on higher energy activities. They work well with groups of people and are often group leaders. Although they may not be as good at focusing on single tasks, they get energy from action rather than reflection and are known for their ability to motivate others to get things done. In fact, when they are inactive, their level of energy and motivation often declines. So they seek out greater levels of stimuli and are prone to more risk taking. We refer to this energy style as outwardly focused. In Personality Poker, they are represented by the 10 Jack, Queen, King and ace cards. Those who have primarily outwardly focused energy style cards are generally better leaders. They work better with others and have what is perceived as a higher energy level. This makes them seem more dynamic, high energy, data driven and bottom line results focused. Many corporate CEOs are a combination of high clubs and high spades. They enjoy being around people but view them as a means of achieving their goals. High hearts and high diamonds are great influencers. They are more focused on present rather than future goals. Unlike high clubs, they enjoy being around people purely for the social aspects of human engagement. In 2006, Professors Mitchell Rothstein and Richard Goffin of the University of Western Ontario concluded after studying the use of personality traits in personnel decisions, that extraversion appears to be the best predictor of team related behavior and performance, including emergent leadership and leadership task performance. In short, they discovered that extroverted individuals were more likely to emerge from a team of individuals as the leaders of the group. They also found that their personality style helped them be more effective leaders. In your organization, you may find that the high cards permeate your leadership ranks either on teams or at the executive level. In all suits. The difference in style between the inwardly and outwardly focused energy styles can be substantial. For example, outward clubs are extremely action oriented, while inward clubs are more methodical and process oriented. Outward hearts are social butterflies and great talkers, while inward hearts are empathetic and and great listeners. In addition to the two energy styles, the numbers are also used to indicate unproductive behaviors associated with each style. As I already mentioned, the cards numbered 2, 3, and 4 represent these less attractive qualities Colors your thinking style the last dimension of Personality Poker is reflected by the colors that symbolize the two primary thinking styles. From a personality poker perspective, we have defined two primary thinking Rational and relational Rational Analytical Often inaccurately referred to as left brained. These rationals analyticals are indicated by the black cards Spades Clubs. They share many of the same attributes and sometimes their styles can be confused. I describe them as those who put the no in innovation. They can at times be a bit skeptical given their focus on data and results. They want proof. The two words frequently used by them are yeah, but they are good at finding the reasons why things won't work. Knowledge and expertise are a cornerstone of their thinking style. Relational Creative these individuals are often again inaccurately referred to as right brained and are represented by the red cards. Diamonds hearts. They too share similar attributes. I often say that they are the ones who put the fun in dysfunctional While employees enjoy their leadership style, the business could end up in the red if someone with red cards is in charge. Relational creatives are not as organized or focused on the bottom line. See chapter eight for more on leadership styles. They suffer from what is known as the bright shiny object syndrome. Anything that seems new and sexy can attract their attention and divert their energies from the task at hand. Although this is truer of the outward energy. Reds Reds of all types suffer from this to some degree. Experiences and relationships between ideas and people are the cornerstones of their thinking style. Why is it inaccurate to describe these individuals as left or right brained? The reason is that our brains do not use just one hemisphere, even for a specific task. According to psychology professor Joseph Hellage of Loyola Marymount University, in the intact brain, it is unlikely that either hemisphere is ever completely uninvolved in ongoing processing. In fact, Helga and his colleagues developed a technique for presenting information to both hemispheres without biasing one hemisphere or the other to handle the processing. In many cases, the results are no different from when the task is presented to one hemisphere or the other. It's likely, then, that both hemispheres are competent in completing most tasks thrown at us, especially when the hemispheres work together as they do typically. Helga concluded his review with during the past 30 years or so, emphasis on the functional differences between between the left and right hemispheres has resulted in the brain being taken apart with a tendency for the pieces to be analyzed separately. It is time to put the brain back together again. Regardless of what you call these thinking styles, the differences can be substantial. I often refer to rational analytical thinkers as dot thinkers since they are focused on depth in any one area. And I refer to relational thinkers as line thinkers because they are good at making connections between the dots, ideas, experiences and people. Line based thinking does not, however, relate to linear thinking, which means something completely different in organizations. The dot that most people operate in is focused on activities, computers, people or departments within a company. It is the lines, the interconnections and interdependencies between the dots where innovation emerges. Innovative thinking comes from making connections. Connections between dots, connections between ideas, connections between companies, or connections between industries. Focusing on the lines frees an organization to improve within the guidelines of the simple structure. The power of focusing on the lines and connections can be illustrated by a conversation between two colleagues, Brad and Lisa. They were talking about why some people appear to be more innovative and insightful than others. Brad, who is one of the most lateral creative thinkers I know, asked Lisa, when you are learning, reading or experiencing something new, what is the main question in your mind? Her her response was I ask what does this mean? And that is what most people would say. First they try to understand the situation and then see how that relates to what they know. This is dot thinking. Brad said his first question is what is this like? He compares it to other things. He knows from that he can then derive meaning and in doing so he is able to leverage relationships from the domain with which he is familiar and and translate them to the new domain. This is what appears as an insight to someone else. It's not about intelligence or knowledge, it's about being able to relate disparate elements quickly. This is line thinking. Even with little knowledge on a given topic, a relational person is able to connect the dots and leverage something else he already knows about. This is a great example that distinguishes the two types of thinking. Chapter 11 is dedicated to further distinguishing dot thinking from line thinking. It includes a powerful exercise that I conduct during my speeches and it provides some interesting examples of each type of thinking. Now that you have an overview of what the cards means, it is time to interpret your hand. How to determine your primary style. At this point in the process, you should have a number of cards in your hand. If you are playing the more traditional team based poker game, you will have five cards plus a number of gift cards that you keep separate. If you are playing a variation, including solitaire, you may have a different number of cards. Regardless, the process of determining your primary style is the same. Once everyone has cards that best describe their personality, each should select their primary suit. It is important to note that nearly every card could be used to describe anyone at some point or another. We act differently in different situations. The key is to determine which styles resonate most in terms of skills and energy. If people have selected cards honestly and focused on their preferred style, then a pattern should emerge. If you have a flush, the poker term for five cards that are the same suit, then that is almost certainly your primary suit. Just as it is quite rare that someone ends up with a flush in real poker, it is also rare that someone ends up with a flush in Personality Poker. Most people cannot be put into one simple box. If you have four or three of the same suit, that is probably your primary suit. Even when three out of five cards are of a particular style, that is a statistically high percentage of cards aligned with one suit. Regardless, read the rest of this section. It may give you even greater clarity or have you change the cards in your hand. The challenge comes when only two cards of the same suit are in your hand. If this is the case, don't worry. My studies show that one third of the people who play Personality Poker end up with a hand with only two of the same suit. This can happen for many reasons. When looking at the cards in your hand, ask yourself which ones energize you when you look at them? Which cards excite you and speak to your passions? Too often we look for the cards that indicate the task at hand. Today I was doing status reports or what we have become good at. Everyone always asks me to develop new ideas or what we have become known for. I have a reputation in the company as the know it all. But our tasks, skills or reputation do not get at our internal motivations. Our personality style is not dictated by our tasks, but rather by our motivations. Why and how you do something is more important than the fact that that you do something. One important point about Personality Poker is that it focuses on attributes rather than activities. The reason is that activities do not differentiate innovation styles. Motivations do. For example, nearly everyone reads you are reading this book. Maybe you read business books primarily, but prefer a good romance novel while lying on the beach. Or perhaps you usually read only toothpaste tubes and cereal boxes. It doesn't matter what you read that you read is less important than why you read. This gives you interesting insight into your style. Do you read to learn as much as possible? If so, you might be an analytical spade. Experiential diamonds may read to escape. Competitive clubs may read to make them more successful. Emotional hearts may read romance novels. I'm joking about this one. Maybe. Of course, this is a broad generalization. In reality, we read for different reasons at different times. If you look at certain cards in your hand and the words do not excite you, then consider swapping them for different cards. With the exception of the unproductive behavior Cards Cards that reflect what we do often and well, but drains us indicate our adapted styles. Look to your motivations for guidance. Look for underused traits. Look for cards that represent attributes that invigorate you but may reflect things you don't do often. These can represent an untapped primary style that is an opportunity for you to refocus energies on something you love. Both adapted and underused traits are described in the previous chapter. If going through this process does not give you clarity, then it might be due to your having multiple styles. In fact, most people have a primary style supported by one or even two secondary styles. So let's dig a little deeper. First, sort your five cards from most like you to least like you. See if the top three cards give you better clarity. If not, get extra cards so that your hand contains seven or eight cards. Sometimes this helps you get a clearer pattern. If four out of eight cards are a particular style, that is a good indicator of your primary suit. Sometimes the most telling indicator of your suit is your unproductive behavior. Cards as mentioned earlier, we sometimes have a difficult time determining who we are when we are at our best. But we have a good sense of who we are when we are at our worst. When we are on our best behavior, we can be good at many things. It is a testament to the adaptable nature of human beings. But when we are stressed or left to operate using our most natural tendencies, our unproductive behaviors can emerge. My favorite card in the deck has the word disorganized. Without looking at any other cards, I could quickly tell that I am a diamond. The two, three or four card selections are a great tiebreaker. If your primary suit is not obvious, something else to look at is the combination of cards. If you have only two of the same suit, you can have either two two one or two one one one that is two cards of two suits, for example two hearts, two diamonds and one club, or only two cards of one suit and Then one card of each other suit, for example two hearts and one of each of the other three. If you have a two, one, one, one hand, then the one with the two is more likely your style. If you have two of the same, it's helpful to lay them on the graphic below. If the cards form an L shape, typically the style at the heel is yours. For example, if you have diamonds, hearts and clubs, this typically implies that hearts is your style. These other two styles, diamonds and clubs, are your secondary styles. Everyone has at least one secondary style that is connected to their primary style. For example, diamonds often have spades and hearts as their secondary style. By seeing which secondary styles resonate, you can refine your selection of your primary style further. Even if you are not 100% clear about your style at this point, don't worry. Remember, the purpose of Personality Poker is not to label you or put you in a box. It is intended to serve as a catalyst for conversations with others. Your specific type is not as important as the discussions that follow. Why the person you like the least is the person you need the most When I give speeches about Personality Poker, I typically say something like the My primary suit is a diamond. In particular, a high outward energy diamond. I love new experiences. This is clearly my main driver. But I also have a spade secondary. I enjoy facts to some degree. I love to read books on neuroscience, psychology, and probability. Hearts is another secondary of mine. I enjoy being around people and socializing. But more than anything else, I despise plans. I find them limiting and restrictive. In fact, if you are a person holding club cards, I may not like you. People typically burst out laughing at this point, but actually this leads us to what may be one of the most important points in this chapter. The person you like the least is the person you need the most. Your diagonal style represents your opposite style, the one that conflicts most with your style but is the most complementary, providing important traits that you most likely lack. Think of the classic oil and vinegar. The two don't mix, but they make for a great dressing. In other words, they complement each other perfectly. And this is what happens with you and your opposite style. Rarely is the diagonal suit. For a diamond, that would be the club. For a spade, it would be a heart. Your secondary style. This is typically your opposite or complementing style. Understanding this style can be extremely useful. For example, as a diamond, the first person I bring onto my team is a strong project manager who is a club. Why? Because if I am left to my own devices, I will follow the work that is new and creative and not get the task at hand completed. I will be attracted to emerging opportunities as a way of satisfying my need for variety without getting the important work done. This is why I need someone who is methodical, organized and will stand toe to toe with me. I need someone who will be there to make sure I stay on track. Although I know there will be tension between us, I realize that this person will help ensure that I get my work done. Complementing styles can also be useful during the recruiting process. I like to build creative tension into my teams from the start. When hiring, I always take on people in pairs. When employing a club, I always enlist a diamond. At the same time. When hiring a heart, I am sure to add a spade as well. This ensures a balanced team. If you build balance into your hiring process like this, you need to make sure that you retain all of the styles. If your culture is goal driven by design club dominant, you need to make sure that you nurture the needs of the other styles, in particular the opposite style, in this case diamonds, to maintain that balance. If you lose too many of one style, you will swing out of balance. See chapter 8 on why we tend to hire and retain in ways that keep our organizations off balance. Understanding the Intersections People rarely fit neatly into one of the four boxes. When playing personality poker, you could end up with a hand with multiple suits, although sometimes this is due to our inability to distinguish adapted from preferred styles. Part of it is also due to the complexity of human styles. In some cases you may indeed have two primary suits. What we find is that the lines separating each style are more dotted than hard, I.e. styles are related. These are indicated by the intersections in the graphic seen below. You will notice that where two suits meet, there is a descriptor. For example, the intersection of spades and diamonds is the thinking style. Spades think about facts while diamonds think about ideas, particularly new ideas. I find that some people are great at both types of thinking and therefore may have both a spade and diamond primary Here are the four intersecting thinkers Spades and Diamonds Especially low spades and low diamonds have something in common. Their preferred activity involves thinking. The difference is that low spades like to think about facts and data, while low diamonds like to think about new and creative ideas. If your hand is primarily spades and diamonds, then it indicates that you are a thinker. Good innovation consultants fall into this category. They balance the development of creative ideas for the future with the need to arrive at data driven solutions. Directors on the other hand, high spades and high clubs, two outward energies lean toward Directing high clubs are the typical managers who take charge, while high spades are more professorial. Many CEOs fall into this category as it plays to two important traits of leaders in large the ability to direct actions that lead to outcomes while still being data driven. They are often very bottom line focused. One director CEO I know operates like a field marshal. He leads the charge and does so methodically and rationally. Influencers Conversely, high hearts and high diamonds are great influencers. They are high energy, motivating and great with people. Although these individuals could be fantastic leaders in organizations, they fall short of what is needed to manage large corporations. They focus more on the people and the experience and not enough on the data and the bottom line. If paired with a good director, however, they can be ideal leaders, spurring on the troops and encouraging collaboration and teamwork. Many motivational speakers fall into this category. This is where I am the combination of high energy, strong social skills, and creative thinking help motivate audiences and employees to take action. Builders the final intersection is where the low clubs meet the low hearts. These are loosely related and not as common as the other pairings. These two styles are both builders of plans and of relationships. Depth is what distinguishes these individuals. The low hearts are masterful at building deep, intimate relationships. The low clubs are extremely process oriented and can focus in a way that ensures things get done good. Project managers fall into the builder category. They are adept at the logical aspects of planning, yet they are able to engage others to help implement the plans. Large projects can benefit significantly from having builders on the team. Just as people rarely fit into one box, people rarely fit into just one intersection. If you think of the graphic above as a pizza with eight slices, most people are typically made up of three contiguous slices. For example, I am a low diamond, a high diamond, and a high heart. Those are my core three. I do have some spade, but that is more of a desired trait. And I have some low hearts, but I know that is not my true strength. Now that you have the 30,000 foot view of the styles, let's keep exploring in part three.