Doubling Her Portfolio in 1 Year while Maintaining Her Emotional Sanity

Welcome ladies to The Real Estate Investor Show, providing inspiration, strategies, and insight to empower women investors to live balanced and financially free lives. Now here are your co-hosts, Liz and Andresa Guidelli. So in today's episode, ladies, you are in for a real treat. We have Erica Brown on our show. She is an investor and started kind of dabbling buying a property and then scaled very quickly, doubled her portfolio in the last year. We talk a lot about how she was able to do that with 3 kids, homeschooling, and a bunch of things that she's up to. And we talked a lot about how she does that through teams.

Yeah.

And one important thing that we talked about, and I think we could have talked to her about this forever, is about emotional responsibility that We, the women, go around taking responsibilities for other people's emotions and fixing them, and at the end of the day, we're depleted and burned out. So we went deep on the work that she did in her marriage, with her friends, and how she was able to really grow and keep her sanity.

Interest rates are sky high in 2023, and buying a rental property means you could get stuck with an 8, 9, or 10% mortgage rate. But what about a 2.99% rate with Rent to Retirement? Rent to Retirement has 2.99% seller financing available on turnkey properties. You heard that right. That's a seller-financed 2.99% interest rate with an average cash flow of over $900 per month. Plus, they've got options where you can put as little as 5% down with no PMI. As the nation's leading turnkey investment company, Rent to Retirement helps investors build headache-free, high-cash-flow rental portfolios. And since their properties are fully turnkey, newly built or renovated, leased and managed, anyone can invest, even those who aren't into landlording. So what are you waiting for? This 2.99% rate deal won't last long. To learn more, visit renttoretirement.com. That's renttoretirement.com. Or text REI to 33777. Again, text REI to 33777.

Top real estate investors love to talk about how they save so much on taxes, but how are they able to build rental property empires while skirting Uncle Sam? 1031 exchanges. 1031 exchanges allow you to defer capital gains taxes while you sell an investment property, exchanging your old property for a bigger, better one and avoiding the tax man while you do it. And that's where First American Exchange Company comes in. They're the leaders in 1031 exchanges. Whether you're a seasoned investor or just starting, First American Exchange can help you with simple rental property exchanges, complex commercial real estate investments, reverse exchanges, and more. Don't let your taxes eat into your profits. Visit First American Exchange Company at firstexchange.com or call them at 800-556-2520. That's firstexchange.com or 800-556-2520. Keep your money in your pocket and propel your portfolio further at firstexchange.com. First American Exchange Company does not provide tax or legal advice. Consult your financial, real estate, tax, or legal advisor about your circumstances. First American Exchange Company. Safe, smart, secure.

Welcome back, ladies.

This is Liz and this is Andresa.

Welcome back to The Real Estate Investor Show, where our mission is to empower women to live a financially free and balanced life. And as Andresa always likes to say, whatever balance means to you, right, Andresa?

Mm-hmm.

And it really is what it means to you because we're here to empower women to live life on their own terms. And it's, it looks differently to each woman. So Erica Brown is with us this week. We're very excited about you being on our show and jumping into your story and navigating competitive markets and how you've been able to grow significantly and even double your portfolio in the last year. So thanks for being here, Erica, and thanks for, for sharing your wisdom with our community.

Thanks so much for having me.

Awesome. Awesome. So I want to share, we always like to share something of, we think, news quickly, succinctly, so you can bring it into your life, whether it's investing, business or self-care, which is really how we created our communities, what we hold very true to everything we do. So I'm on, I'm on the docket here this week. And for so often we, we have masterminds and, and you know, you talk about these masterminds and you talk about different issues, but we're, you know, what's really exciting about our, our eXp team, we have an eXp team that are women agents who are kind of tired of growing other people's portfolios and are really focused on growing their own portfolio. And that's how, you know, we born our, our eXp team, our Investor eXp team. And we were on a mastermind and this mastermind we, we shifted some things up where we're, you know, teaching content and then getting into issues, challenges. And we talked about flipping. And so we're talking about flipping in today's market. Andresa Guidelli and I have flipped a number of properties together and, you know, not all flips are the same or different. And we just taught some great content. And one of our members messaged us after and said, hey, thank you so much. I watched the recording. I couldn't make it. Obviously I wasn't there, but I just wanna tell you thank you so much. And what she said was, was something that Andresa said, and Andresa made a point about making sure you pay yourself first. And so often with flips or rentals, or quite honestly any project, we're all about making the deal happen as women, getting into it, making sure everyone's taken care of, making sure everyone's happy, making sure, you know, dot, dot, dot. And so often so many people, especially women, don't put that line item in and don't even start with that line item. Or it's an afterthought. And she just thanked us how appreciative she was of that tip. And she's an experienced flipper. She's an experienced investor. So I, I wanna remind everyone of that tip here. Don't put yourself last. Make sure you put yourself first and you're doing it not to be selfish, but to be selfful. And that's so important as we navigate business and investing, because if you're not being true to yourself, you're no good to anyone. So that's what I wanted to share from our—

Yeah, it's just a, a business practice. Right? And you don't need to justify that number to anybody. You can put whatever you want there, the profit that you want there, the time that you want there, and you can create whatever you want. And if it makes sense, it's worth your time to invest into that deal, you go for it. But we cannot be like, oh, whatever is left, I'm cool. Or if I break even, I'm cool, or Oh, this is just learning. You're going to learn in every single deal, but I want your profit to be a line item, not the last line item.

Yes. So keep that in mind. All right, Erika, thank you so much again for being here. We always like to kind of kick things off by asking you what moved you, propelled you, inspired you to begin investing in real estate.

Man, that's a great question. So I started investing in real estate because I was in the corporate rat race type of situation. And I wanted to transition and I, I was a breadwinner of my family. So in order for me to transition from corporate to, you know, starting this real estate business, I needed some type of financial security. And I learned, I worked at a bank, so I worked with a lot of very wealthy people. And I realized that all of the wealthy people had real estate and that I could, you know, earn passive income to begin, you know, being able to build my business. So that is actually what first got me into real estate, is needing some security with passive income so that I can pursue my dreams and, you know, live life, like you said, on my own terms. So, yeah.

So Erica, walk us through your first deal. How did you find it? How did you fund it? When people ask me that question, I was like, Jesus, my memory is like half gone after I gave birth. So I need to look at my notes, but do you remember what was the story behind your first deal?

Yeah, I was actually over at the house yesterday.

Oh, there you go.

Reminded me of everything. Yeah, first deal. So I got into real estate first by being a real estate agent. And so I was helping a client find an investment portfolio. I was a new agent, didn't have a ton of clients, and I got connected with an investor. That was trying to buy up a bunch of properties. They were just trying to look for like vacant properties and they were like, you know, look at all, research all these tax records and start Googling people and find me some houses. I didn't have much else going on because I didn't have, you know, a big book of business yet. So I was doing that and I realized that I ran across a portfolio of someone that owned a bunch of property in Florida. And I reached out to him and I said, hey, I'm looking for my client. I noticed that you own a lot of properties in this neighborhood. Can you just send me the whole portfolio? And then also, if I find like one that I like for myself, can I buy that? You know, I was like very like, can I, can I please? Now I'm like, you know, it's a whole different language. Now I have to like, yes, I have to bring it back. So, and so they were like, yeah, yeah, you sure can. And so I knew like an upcoming development that was happening in the area. And stuff. So I found this one property. I found a bunch for my client, but I found this one I wanted to keep for myself. And it's so great because I actually, my client became my mentor over time. And so he kind of like walked me through it. Okay, if you're gonna do this, well, this is how you do it. And my husband was the only one that had a, a legal job at the moment because I had just left my 9 to 5. So the property, we put it in his name. I used my old 401k as a down payment. Put down 20%, and we bought our first property. It was not easy. It was at least a 90-day close because I had to wait.

I didn't know about the seasoning period and, you know, all of that good stuff.

Yep.

Yep.

And so we eventually closed before the end of the year. I think we went under contract in like August and we closed in like November or something. The seller was very patient with us. It was a different market. So, you know, we didn't have, you know, multiple offers types of situations and I bought a house that had previously been a Section 8 property. And I liked that because it wasn't a teardown, because that intimidated me a lot, you know. And so it needed some work, but it was, in my mind, I'm like, it's at least livable. Someone previously lived here, so it can't be that bad. And it actually was. I mean, it was not that bad, which is great, you know. And so went in and did some cosmetic renovations, hired a contractor who was a friend. You know, long story with that. And my first contractor experience—

is he still a friend?

He's still a friend, but I don't—

okay, okay, that tells me a lot.

All right.

Yeah, it's still around, I just don't use them. And then I was putting this property on Airbnb because I just heard about it from a friend who had just made all this money, and it turned out really well. You know, I ended up getting like $20,000 in credit card debt because I didn't manage to rent But the good thing is, is that I had passive income that I could, you know, maximize it to pay off that debt, which I did eventually. And then the property ended up, you know, gaining a bunch of equity in one year. So it worked out, but it was definitely a journey.

So then where did you go from there? So at that point you had quit your job, you got one property under your belt. So are you like, at this point through all those challenges, like, this is for me. I gotta go all in on this particular strategy, or how did you navigate that in terms of, cuz you had a, you know, decent, really good growth in 5 years. Yeah. And I know you, you really had even more of a growth in your last year. So what was that like at the beginning, your first, second, third deal, and how did you navigate all that?

Yeah, for sure. At the beginning it was just a hobby. It was one of those things where, okay, like, you know, this'll help us to develop a savings, but you know, I don't think we can live off of this money kind of thing. And so the next one, I, I was just, I just began, kept selling properties. I was an agent, so I just focused a lot of my attention on that and I just kept my eyes open for opportunities. And I let a friend know that was a new contractor that I was open to more investment opportunities. And then he ended up renovating a house and was like, so he was like trying to let me see if I want to be a contractor. And I was like, let me see if I want to be an investor. And so I ended up purchasing that next property from him and then also putting that on Airbnb. So it wasn't maybe until my second or third property where I figured out like, I can really make some money doing this and it doesn't require me trading my time for money. It took a couple deals to figure that out.

Yeah. And I want to mention and highlight something you just said. You said, I shared with a friend that I was looking for my next investment property. And so often we think people just miraculously wake up and they're thinking about us and they know what we want and need, and it's just not the reality, right? So I just think that's great. I think, I think more women need to feel confident to share what they're looking for and how they're looking for it. And hey, you know, just to, especially the right team members. I don't think enough people do that. And such a simple thing. It's really a simple thing to do. So I just, I just wanna highlight that as something that you did and it sounded like that's worked out. So as you've progressed, you've seen your most growth in the last year. You've doubled your portfolio. You're at 38 doors. Yes. So, so walk us through the first couple deals. Now you're like, this can be a business. You're busy with your agent work. So walk us through the growth that you had with your investment.

Yeah. So I think the growth first started with me, my agent team, and building a team of agents and not just being an individual agent. When I was in corporate, I seen the value of having a team and how like we all work together and we complement one another and we, you know, accomplish more. And so very soon after I became— began selling real estate, I actually built a team actually prematurely. A lot of the people that, you know, were above me did not support me building a team so early in my career. But I hands down think that allowing myself to trust myself to build a team allowed me to be able to leverage my time so that I can grow my real estate investment career. Because I had more time to, to put into learning how to invest and scale more. Each time I bought a new property, I challenged myself. So it's like, okay, okay, I've done this a few times now. I think I figured out what I'm doing. And then I remember I started developing a community. And it's so funny, a lot of my community developed from clients that wanted me to help them buy houses. And I wouldn't just stop at just being a real estate agent. I would ask questions. I would, you know, ask for referrals and things like that. So I started asking, okay, how are y'all buying all of these properties? I am buying one at a time, putting 20% down, hustling to find the 20%. I'm missing something. I knew I was missing something. So then I asked, like, how are you buying all these properties? And I learned about the BRRRR method. Essentially, they didn't even know the BRRRR method, but they called it the BRRRR method. And so I learned just from a one 5-minute phone call that changed everything. After that, I just took those notes down. I actually studied, how do I work with a private lender? How do I work with a hard money lender? I asked friends some questions that had done that before, and then I reached out to one. And that next property I bought after connecting with the private lender, after getting the knowledge to, you know, know what to expect. To know how not to be taken advantage of, I went from 3 to 7 in one year, and then I just kept scaling. So even last year, for example, I think I was at like 20 or something. Yeah, maybe around 20. And I went to a conference and I was like, okay, Erica, like, you've managed this, you know, single-family home, the small, you know, duplex. You're doing that. You're doing that well. You know, I'm ready to take it to the next level. And I would see deals and the numbers would be decent, but because I hadn't done it before, I would just tell myself, no, you can't do it. No, don't worry about it. You can't do it. And I knew that that was a limiting mindset that I had. So I decided, I don't know if I went to that conference, I decided I am not going to say no to the next deal that I don't understand. And shortly after, I found a deal on the MLS. Everyone is always asking me, how did you find that deal? I found it on the MLS, the same website that everybody in America has access to. And I found that deal, and this time I did not say no because I didn't understand it. I called up a friend who's a mentor who has a bunch of, he's, you know, ahead of me. And I said, can I come to your office? Let's look at this. And he walked me through it, went and looked at it together. I placed an offer. So I just, I just focused on at least knowing the next 2 steps. And then I trusted that between my network or between my resourcefulness, I could figure out the rest. And it's made me $1 million in 1 year. Net. $1 million.

Oh, take a deep breath. Take it. Everybody take a deep breath with me. How powerful is that? What you just said, I would not say no to a deal that I don't understand. It's very, very powerful, Erika. I never heard that way. So hashtag Erika trademark that. Anyway, I want to get to the point. What I'm seeing you doing over and over again is that when you, okay, when you find something that you don't understand or you already managed that, you are looking at your resources and say, okay, how How do you do? Wait a minute. How are you doing that? What am I missing here? And I do believe that if we ask that question more often and put our ego aside, fire ourselves from our position, we're able to grow faster. Instead of saying, oh, why are they lucky? Why are they, they, they? Instead of saying, what am I missing here? Having the courage to ask, hey, by the way, Can you just share with me what's happening here? Because I'm missing something because we were not taught in school how to do that. So for you to take it to the next level, you mentioned teams, teams in your real estate agent business and teams that you work in your community, quote unquote community that you start building around you. Many of the women that are listening to us right now are masters. Have master's degrees in solopreneurship and having a hard time letting it go of the quote unquote the control or the trust, or even don't have the patience or time to train other people. What would you say to them?

I would say that I've been in a situation where I have trusted someone to do something and they didn't do it well. I get it. I definitely understand. I have a village mentality where I've also seen trusting people to do things and they grow and they empower themselves and they just, you know, explode. I have also seen the benefits of what happens when you have a surrounding team and when you have— you put systems in place and where you really get to, you know, reap the reward of that. So I would say to not just focus on the negatives, but to push through and focus on the overall goal in which you're working to, because the reward is so much greater on the other side than, you know, a few failures along the way.

Love that. Tell us about the team you have now with your investing. What does that look like? Does it vary? You know, because I know you're predominantly in the Atlanta area, right?

Yep.

Is that where all your units are?

I have one unit in Texas.

Okay. Gotcha. So tell us a little bit about what your team looks like, because I think that's a big piece. As we scale our portfolio.

Yeah. So I'll share what my team looks like. I also want to say that your team can look like you want it to look, especially a lot of us who have transitioned from that corporate mindset. We think it has to be like this and this and this. You get to do whatever the hell you want to do. That's the beautiful part about being an entrepreneur.

Okay.

So I'll tell you about my team. You'll be like, oh wow, that's interesting. So my team. Covers both my real estate portfolio and my agent team. So it's not just, we don't just do one thing. It's a collective. We do a lot. So I have an operations person, operations manager who helps to run the day-to-day with all the things. I have a property manager. The property manager does majority of the midterm, long-term rental strategies and they're full-time. And I have a property management company, so I have an LLC, like an arm. You know, that I pay the property management company through, the property manager through. I have a part-time Airbnb assistant that helps with the Airbnb properties. She is the, the hands and feet on the ground, you know, restocking things, responding to the tenant, all that good stuff. I have a marketing director that helps with all of the marketing stuff between the agents and all the other things I do. I have an administrative assistant. She handles my scheduling. She actually did podcast interview notes stuff. She does any client retreats for me to do. She really acts as an executive assistant for me. I also have a home team. I have, for 5 hours a week, I have what we call a family assistant. And because I have 3 kids, okay, and married. And so my family assistant, she takes my boys back and forth to practice and to, you know, all the little things they need to do. She schedules doctor's appointments. And she takes them to doctor's appointments. She picks up Amazon packages, all the things at home that I don't want to do. I could delegate to that. She makes travel plans, that type of thing. So that's the, the village. And I have the agents and they are commission-based. And so I focus on helping them accomplish their goals and then helping them get leads. And then they go out and buy and sell because I also homeschool my kids. So, oh.

Oh, hold on, hold on. Let's back that up, right?

Oh yeah. And I also, by the way, and I homeschool my kids, right? So all the women that are listening are like, wait a minute, girl.

Yeah.

Right. But Erica, as you started, you're like, you can design how it is and you're calling the shots how it is. We have not seen representation on stage, representation on freaking podcasts. For God's sake, we have the Real Estate Invest Hard podcast, right? And we only interview women. I listen for all the men that keep applying to be on our podcast. There's a reason why you're not accepted. Okay. So if you didn't get the clue yet, just please stop applying.

Yeah. Right.

Thank you. But we appreciate you.

Right.

But you know, uh, refer us to a woman that you know, and we'll support that. But representation hasn't been. There for women for a long period of time. And I remember hearing from stage from very traditional white male, 45, wearing a suit, telling me how success looks like, how should I scale. And I was like, that's kind of impossible, like to do this 3-hour morning miracle. It doesn't fit me. It doesn't fit me. Or, and I think we are changing that. By not, not Liz and I, certainly a community of women like you, for example, that are sharing and trusting our gut. As you said, I trust my gut to say, yeah, no, no, no, I can build a team. Yeah, let me show you how. And I can build an agent team. It doesn't matter. I don't need to have 20 years of experience in order to get that started. I feel competent and efficient to do that. I think we are all writing history here and setting the standard. And I really commend you for sharing a quote unquote non-traditional way of running your business and your life and sharing with other women, because I do feel though that you are giving permission to them to do the same. And they don't feel like, oh, am I right on this? Am I the only one thinking about it? I keep hearing it. Oh, so I'm not crazy.

No, you're not crazy if you don't want to go to your son's third football practice. I go to the games. And I tell them, I go to 75% of the games. I may not go to every game. But I'm your biggest supporter. I'm going to shout you to the rooftops. I'm there. I'm not going to feel guilty because I don't want to wait at practice and waste my time for 3 hours. When I don't have to.

And, but I think the mom duty, it's not even mom guilt. I think it's like a mom duty is very like, it's been passed down generational. It's not just our own, like, what do we need and want? But it's, it's a generational piece of what that role looks like and it way it should look like, it shouldn't look like, and it's just, it's just nonsense. Right? But if we don't stop and actually ask that question, you had to stop and say, do I wanna be taking my children or should I be taking my children to the doctor's office?

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm sure a lot of people listening never even dawned on them that they did not need to be the person taking their kids to the doctor's office. I mean, it's not common, right? What you're saying, which is, which is really expansive.

Yeah. And I'm not like super wealthy, you know, like to where it's like I came, got all this money. Cause generally we can see that, but we see it in a certain tax bracket situation. But no, even when we were living paycheck to paycheck, we were just starting this journey. We were both working full-time and we had a friend that what we did was we asked her to cook dinner for us, like to meal prep for us for a period of time. And because that allowed us to not eat out and waste our money. So yeah, it's not based on necessarily how much money you make, it's just resourcefulness and, you know, working within your village.

You're trying to close on your next rental. So why is your insurance company dragging its feet with long lead times and never-ending paper forms? It's no wonder it takes forever to finally get a policy. Modern investors deserve better. They deserve Steadily.com. At Steadily.com, you'll get fast, affordable landlord insurance available online 24/7 in just a few clicks. You can even get next-day coverage, which takes just minutes, by the way, to obtain. And you can do it all from your phone. Steadily was founded by landlords who created insurance products tailored to the unique needs of this industry. It's their sole focus, and that's why landlords nationwide consistently rate them 4.8 out of 5 stars. So whether you've got a single-family, short-term, or multifamily portfolio, Steadily.com can secure the best coverage at the best price to protect your properties. Discover how Steadily can save you both time and money on your rental property insurance. Visit Steadily.com for a commitment-free quote tailored to your needs today. Jewelry isn't a gift you give just once. It's a way to remind your loved one of a beautiful moment every time they see it. Blue Nile can help you find the gift that says how you feel and says it beautifully with expert guidance and a wide assortment of jewelry of the highest quality at the best price. Go to bluenile.com and experience the convenience of shopping Blue Nile, the original online jeweler since 1999. That's bluenile.com to find the perfect jewelry gift for any occasion. Bluenile.com.

When you're ready to pop the question, the last thing you want to do is second-guess the ring. At bluenile.com, you can design a one-of-a-kind ring with the ease and convenience of shopping online. Choose your diamond and setting. When you found the one, you'll get it delivered right to your door. Go to bluenile.com and use promo code POD to get $50 off your purchase of $500 or more. That's code POD at bluenile.com for $50 off your purchase. Bluenile.com/pod.

I love that about the village because I've seen village across the board. And I think that we, the women, have been trained to figure out a lot by ourselves. And we are able to, but we don't have to. And I think that that's a process that we all go through and we all have our hangups in different areas. But I'm very curious about your mindset. Erica, and I know you have a supportive husband and you guys have been working together, which is also very important. But talk to me a little bit about your mindset. What have you done in the past that you feel it contributes to your growth?

Oh my gosh. What haven't I done? I think 2020 was definitely a wake-up call for us. In 2019, I just finished a really difficult year of marriage. So it really— the 2020 was a pandemic too, but it also was coming out of that season. And just being like, I'm burnt out. I have been constantly giving everything for everyone, and I'm left depleted. So I started doing counseling. I started working out. And working out helps to fuel my mindset. It helps to just give me energy and those sorts of things. And I just started asking for what I wanted because I grew up taking care of everyone, being the strong friend, being the older sister, that kind of thing that led into to my life. So counseling has helped, just being honest and being self-aware and having safe people around me that I can just be vulnerable with and process with and let them know what I need. And, you know, I tell my kids all the time, hey, I am not emotionally responsible for you. I'll stop being emotionally responsible for people.

Can we take another breath?

That was a big thing. Women, we want to like Well, you feel bad? You know what? I'm sorry that you feel bad. I am here for you. Let me know what you need and I would love to support you, but I can't carry that. So I stopped carrying everybody else's stuff. That's the biggest mindset, because I no longer could. I was breaking down.

Walk us through that. Let's break that down. Like we analyze a deal, right? Let's analyze that for a moment.

Ladies, this is the juice.

Okay.

You don't want to go pee later.

Or put it on pause.

Yeah.

I, I think what you're saying is very, is very powerful. And it really speaks to so many women that are listening right now. So let's talk about that. What does that look like? Let's start here. What does that look like to you where you're carrying around, you called it not emotional baggage, emotional, was it baggage with the word you used? You used another word.

I thought emotional responsibility.

Responsibility. Excuse me. So you're walking around with some emotional responsibility. What does emotional responsibility look like to you prior to your breakthrough?

I think before it meant that someone— people around me do the things they do, like, in response of me. If that's not true, we all have our own choices, and we all decide how we are going to respond. And so I had to realize, you know, just because different people respond this way, there's nothing that I could do to make them respond that way. Does that make sense? And so that, that helped me to release my need to wanna fix it for everybody. Amen.

I see a separation. I mean, I can definitely connect with what you're saying. Your way of being, I can totally connect with. I'm just thinking about myself or making this a therapy session for Liz, but this is what you're saying is in a lot of ways there's an emotional kind of disconnect, not in a bad way, but in a way that you're open.

Detachment.

Attachment. So you can care about what people feel, you can care about what they say or think, but you're not attached to that for your own worthiness or happiness. That's very different.

Yes.

And not your problem to fix it and find your problem to fix it.

Right.

So tangibly, what did you do? Yeah. What was the way? Because it's not just what you do. I'm sure it was a way of being. I'm sure it's a mind, body, and soul. Shift that being like, I'm amazing, I don't care about people. And then it doesn't sound like that's how it would work. If you're a naturally nurturing person, you're not naturally gonna just turn that off, but it sounds like it need, it needed to be redirected.

But I, I just wanna make a difference. Yeah. Right. You saying that does not mean that you don't care for them. It, it means that you care for them, but you also care for you.

Yes.

Is that what?

Yes. Yeah. Cuz I, I care. Care about people deeply. Like, my life's mission is to serve, yeah, women, specifically Black women, right? So like, I care about people very deeply. But so one, you ask like, what was that transition? Like, the first thing was like verbally communicated, verbally communicated to my loved ones like where I was, what I was working on, and you know, the resolve I came to. That was one thing. And then the second part was just to get back in touch with who I am. And so it was, I've joined Wednesday night group at 9 PM on a Wednesday in a hot tub group of women. It's so random, but we meet up every 2 weeks on Wednesday night. We are tired, but we get there in a hot tub.

Literally?

Yes.

Virtually hot tub?

No, no, no. Literally.

Okay.

You know how tough that is?

You have no idea. We are all virtual doing something, right?

No, it was— and it was— yeah. And it was a very diverse group of women with diverse perspectives. And so That was one thing, is like getting in touch with other women and being around them. And then I just got to learn myself, like, okay, what do I like? What do I not like? I even like decided to say, okay, let me talk to someone about my wardrobe. Like, what colors do I like to wear? What, you know, I got in touch with my sexuality, you know, all those things, right? Yeah. Learning about my, you know, how your cycle, how your, you know, your cycle affects you with coming and So many things.

Love that, how they—

I can't even say on this podcast. But I just got to know who I am as a woman because I had kind of like just pushed that to the side for so long. And it's been very freeing. And it's helped me to be able to walk in every room like my full self throughout that process. And it has helped me to be decisive, to make decisions, to be willing to ask for help and not have to worry about, well, what are they saying? What do they think? You know, it has helped me to show up my full self in every room.

That's very powerful. So I'm curious though, in the moment of someone you care about, mm-hmm, comes to you.

Yeah.

You're in a disagreement, you're in a disconnect, there's something not working.

Yeah.

I'm sure it happens to all of us, right? Yep.

Day to day.

At that point, how do you shift, like, literally just kind of taking in the feedback, mm-hmm, but not being attached to it? I'm curious. Totally curious. How do you, yeah, in the moment do that? Because I think that happens for a lot of women.

Right?

These are— what you're saying makes complete sense. But now we're in a moment. We're in a moment of some sort of not workingness. Contractor, partner, team member, fill in the blank.

Yes. I wish I could give you an example of how that looks, what that looks like. But basically what I— not thinking about a specific example. Someone comes to me, they have an issue with me, they want to give me feedback. And they were hurt by me. Let's say that. And a discussion. This actually happened recently. It was, I was helping listing with one of my agents. I was co-listing with her and she gave me feedback about the conversation, a three-way conversation call I had with one of the other agents that we were working with. And I said, you know what? I heard her out. I listened to her. I said, you know, I really, I'm thankful that you brought this to my attention. I definitely will make these adjustments in my life here. And here's my feedback for you. And I'm here for you. Let me know if I can help you with anything else. And you just kind of like, you leave it at that. Like, you, you take responsibility. And sometimes it's not even me. Sometimes it's just like that person is just hurt and wants me to fix something, but it's not my place to fix. And so you just take, you know, if it's you, you take ownership, you show empathy, and you let them know you're there for them. Sometimes, depending on the person, it Hug, you know, whatever it is. And then you let them know, like, how you follow up with them and you, you know, you be thoughtful. You may send them flowers if that's what— whatever it is. But I leave the situation and then unless I have committed to follow up and do something, I leave the situation where it is and I go about my business. So it's a, it's a matter of like compartmentalization. You know, I think that that is is healthy to have. Because if not, then you will just kind of drag through life just— you know what I'm saying? Like, just having a hard time moving on. Like, this area here— and then there's another thing. Like, say, like I mentioned— and I've never talked about this publicly, so— We're going there. Yeah, we're here. Because I really think that it would help a lot of women. Yeah. And like I said, in 2019— I've shared this publicly too on my IG— but in 2019 was a very difficult time in my marriage. I came to the realization— that, you know, this is a part of my life. My marriage is a huge part of my life, but it's not the whole part of my life. And that we're working through things, you know, in this area, but that God has given me so many amazing things to be joyful about outside of this relationship. I am going to embrace joy as it is. And because again, marriage is not my entire life. It's not like my my full identity as a woman. So that, that time period that I'm talking about working on that mindset helped me to come to that place. It's an extremely important relationship, but it's not my entire life. So that helped me to learn how to compartmentalize and to be able to wake up with gratefulness even in the midst of storms, to be able to see joy and keep going in a non-fake way, you know, but in a very like authentic. Like, I'm gonna stand up, my kid is learning this new thing that we've been working on. You know, my team, you know, succeeded here. I'm able to help empower and hire 3 employees. You know, those are all things to be joyful about, even if there's one area of your life that isn't going the best you would like for it to go right now. Does that make sense? Yeah, that journey helped me. That's the mindset shift that I had that helped to grow and to not stop going and even to, you know, work on those things that we needed to work on in our marriage. Things are better than ever now.

Yeah, but I feel you're very secure about who you are and that's it, period.

Yeah.

But it's that a lot of women don't take the time to figure that out. And it's hard to say, but they have mixed up identities. Because they didn't take the time to think about what they really like as a human, right? As a human. So they get their identities by their affiliation. Oh, I am married, or I, I am a mother, or I am a real estate investor. What does that mean? Right? What, what is it? Who you are? Who would you like? Your period, the cycle. How many of us don't know that? Right? We don't have the time to really stop and think. And I really love what you said that when you say to your own kids, I'm not responsible for your emotional state.

Right?

Because I have this conversation with my 6th— no, he's 7. He just turned 7. 7-year-old another day. He was upset and he said, you made me upset.

Sad.

And we had that conversation. I was like, honey, mommy does not have the power to make you happy, sad, angry, none of that. You have the choice to choose your state of mind, your emotion. So you can choose right now how to calm down your body. And it's my job to support you. And to get through it. And this kid came to the conclusion when he said that to me, and I was like, oh my gosh. He said, but you know, mommy, sometimes I am, I have this mood inside me and I don't know how to stop it. So how can I just go there and change it? I don't know how to do that. I was like, oh my gosh, let's talk about that.

Of course.

Let's talk about that. And we were at the beach. I said, listen, let's take a dive in the ocean. I am sure when you come back, you're going to be a little out. And then we're going to play something. You just need to get out of this funk. And many times you just need to take a deep breath and a cup of water or change the scenario. But we can't assume children don't understand because they really do. And if we are having those conversations with them and with everybody around us, it is just a new way of being, right? So we're just talking about instead of all the women being burned out across the board because they are just depleted of that time. So yeah.

And when we're burnt out, we're no good for anyone, you know, like we are operating just out of exhaustion and, you know, and when we're full, we're able to actually give more. We're able to actually show up and support and serve the very things that we have in our heart that we want to do. So yeah, I mean, like, I take off a month a year now. So I take off every December. Now, last December was the first time doing that, and I protected— and my team, everyone knows it. And it's so funny, one of my teammates last week, I was like, oh man, we got to do this because we're behind on this. And she's like, you're taking off a month. She's like, you are taking off a month. I was like, Thanks. I am. I am.

Because you have to have people then stand for you and it's not going to tolerate you to get out of it. I think that that's like the structure, right? For the foundation, the bars, all that.

Awesome.

It's been great. I think, Erica, not only have we dig deep on, you know, real estate, but then we just went really more importantly deep into our emotional awareness and our emotional responsibility. And if we can master that, we can take our businesses anywhere. We can do anything, right? Possibilities are endless. It all begins with our emotional mind, body, and soul kind of state. We all know that. I mean, we would all agree to that, but we don't work on that. That's the hard stuff. Quite honestly, it's easy to just figure out some tips and tricks about how to scale a portfolio.

Yeah.

But that's not where the work is. What we just talked about is where the work is. So thank you for being vulnerable and for sharing that with us in our community. So where can the ladies listening learn more about you and follow along on your journey?

Yes. So I'm on Instagram a lot and you can follow me at Erika, E-R-I-K-A-B, Investor on Instagram. And then you can get links to everything else from there.

Awesome. And you guys can find more information about Erika on our show notes. Now we're going to transition to our panel with 3 questions. And the first one, Erica, is what's the most transformational book you ever read?

All right. So I was thinking about this. I read this book called Do Less by Kate Northrup. And yeah, yes, I know her.

Yeah, we are.

You know her? Yes. Kate is awesome.

Yeah.

It's been really transforming in my, you know, in my life, doing how you basically do less so that you can earn more and you can live life more abundantly. So that's been a really huge transformational book for me.

Yeah. She also has a journal, Do Less. So it's very, very cool. Yeah.

262. 262.

Yeah. We're going to put that on our show notes for you guys. She's great. The second question is, what's the most powerful routine that you do to create a financially free and balanced life?

Powerful routine. I wake up most days around 5:00 AM. And so being able to have that time by myself, whether the time is in the morning or night for you, whatever, you know, Having that time by myself when no one is asking me for anything, nobody's messaging me for anything, and just have that time to like— I have a screening porch to have like fresh air, just quiet moments, soft music. Having that time by myself helps to really balance me out so that I can conquer the day and make all the decisions that I have to make throughout the day.

Awesome. Last question. Which woman, famous or not, has inspire you the most?

So I will say, so lots of women in my family are amazing. My husband was like, you should say Beyoncé. I was like, man, thank you. We're all inspired by Beyoncé. But I'm actually super deeply inspired by someone I've never met, a person in my family, my grandmother that I never got a chance to meet because she passed when my dad was 4. I am deeply inspired by her because growing up, I had a very different personality than my parents. I did not feel like I fit in the family for, like, a long time until I learned about her. I learned about, in a very difficult time, you know, living in the South in the early '40s, '50s, how she ran her household, how she, you know, had 10 young kids, but she loved to read. She loved to, like, prepare them for the future. She just, you know, I hear stories about, like, how she just handled family business and finances. I related a lot to her personality, especially growing up in a family where I felt like no one's personality related to mine. Like, I'm crazy, and everybody in my family is just safe and quiet. I'm like, where the hell did I come into this family? And so when I finally learned about her and her story, it just has deeply inspired me for the rest of my life. And I'm constantly learning more and more about her. So I will say my grandmother. I love it.

That's great. Love it, Erica. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and being with us today. We so appreciate you and your time.

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Thank you, Erica. If you enjoyed this podcast and want to receive updates on our next interviews, go to our website, therealestateinvestor.com. There you can subscribe to our show, become part of our investor community, and get updates on upcoming episodes.

If you like our show, please share with other women who would benefit. And don't forget to leave us a rating on iTunes. We'd really appreciate it. And as always, we encourage you to take one action as a result of today's show and put it into motion so you can live both a financially free and balanced life. Thanks for spending time with us.

Ciao.