How We Kept Our Business Partnership Strong for 10 Years

So today Liz and I are talking about partnerships. And when we discussed it, the theme of the podcast, I said, let's do this. You think about 3 things that you believe has helped us having the partnership that we have right now. And I think about 3 things and we don't share with each other and, and we go to the to the podcast without knowing it. So I'm curious, Liz, if it's going to be the same or not. And what do you think of everything, right? It's been almost a decade.

Almost a decade.

That we've been doing business together. And a lot of people think, oh, they're so lucky, they have a lot of chemistry. We always had it. We always say that we had it, but chemistry is not enough to sustain a long-term partnership. So we're gonna share with all of you today what has worked. So Elizabeth, that's how I call Liz. Elizabeth, Elizabeth, what is your number one, the item there that you think has helped us?

Here it is, and everyone get really, really close to your speaker. Andresa knows I'm always right, and that's how it goes. No, I'm joking. No, it's not that. So here's what I think has really made a difference, and I'm going to be as brief and deep as I can. We leverage our differences. So here's what I mean by that. I think there's people, right, Andresa, in our partnership and with other partners that we know on paper that we need to have differences. I don't think I'm telling anyone listening to this something new. However, what ends up happening is that a lot of people sort of like tolerate each other's differences. Oh, that's just how they are. For example, I'll give you a very specific example. I am more extroverted and probably feeling-based in my decisions and idea. You know, I have a lot of ideas. I can change things on a whim. I love this idea of this off-script. Sort of podcast. Andresa's more—

I am freaking the hell out.

She's freaking the freak out. I'm sorry, freaking out. Sorry, I don't want to curse on our G-rated—

See, Liz doesn't curse.

I do curse. Well, sometimes I do, especially in a cold plunge. But with Andresa, she's more introverted, right? She's more task-oriented. She's more detail-oriented. And I think the biggest thing of a difference for us is that she's more objective and I'm more subjective. She goes more on facts and data and I'm going to naturally go more on gut. And intuition. And so for me, the very thing, and I've always known that about her, but I think our partnership has really grown and sustained when I can actually leverage that versus getting annoyed by it or tolerating it, or at the very worst with partners, they avoid the very thing they could be leveraging with each other. And that's work to do, right? It's not just I wake up and Sometimes when Andresa's asked me things that are very critical over the years, it's not like, oh yeah, I love those questions. No, I haven't always loved those questions, but they've helped me in what I've needed to grow through. And she's just asking me questions. She's trying to understand. It's nothing more than that. So the key for me has been leveraging each other's differences, really leveraging her tough-mindedness versus getting annoyed by it or just, oh, that's just how Andresa is, or I just tolerate Liz and her extroversion. No, it's more than that. We have to leverage the very— that's just one difference. We have other differences. So that's work to do. And I think that's something that we continue to learn. I don't think you just fully leverage each other's differences as partners. I think it's always ongoingly, you're always leveraging, oh, hey, I need some help here, or that you do this really well, or that type of thing. So that's my number one.

One resource that I would like to share with all of you that has helped Liz and I to understand each other is Rocket Fuel. That's when we found out she's a visionary, I am an integrator. What that means is that Liz will have multiple ideas throughout the day, and my job is to run those ideas inside my head, and as a computer, it out. If it is doable, if it is not. So naturally I'll say more nos, right? Without the context of knowing that she's a visionary, it's her job to have ideas and to really have the free space to think and expand and connect with people. That's her job. That's how it's her naturally, uh, think. And my job is to naturally cut off a lot of those.

It's like the Debbie Downer, right? Everyone, bring you back to old school Saturday Night Live with the Debbie Downer.

It's an integrator's job to say more nos than yeses. And many times if we don't understand that that's our job, it puts a constraint within the relationship because then you're like, oh, she's saying no to me. She always says no to me. Or, right? So once we got that knowledge, we're like, okay, she's saying no. Are you saying no now, no later? So we put in place a framework. So every time that Liz has ideas, put it in on paper on our monthly, quarterly, annual goal. It might not be today, it might be later on. It might be something that we wanna get started. We are in progress. So that was very helpful.

One other thing to, can I add to that? What has helped Andresa and I, especially when an idea comes up, Andresa goes, I don't think this is a good idea for XYZ reason. I need to be clear on how attached I am to that idea because sometimes I'm like, it's a 5 out of 10. Okay, what do you think, Andresa? I could take it, I can leave it. For example, we got invited to a conference and I saw the benefits of it for a few different reasons. Also, the timing could have been a little questionable. I was like a 5 out of 10, to be honest. I threw it to Andresa. What do you think? She's like, I, I don't think this is a good use of our time and here's why. I was like, okay, we didn't have to have a conversation. I, I, I moved on. I wasn't attached. If I was a 10 outta 10, probably would've had a conversation. So my point in this is for yourself, rank how attached or how connected you are to an idea, especially for the visionaries, because not everything's a 10 outta 10. Not everything's a 0 outta 10 cuz then you don't feel excited about anything. So get clear and then you can have that conversation and dialogue, not about everything, but about certain things.

And one thing that we do with each other, right, it's connecting the dots. So when we are presented an idea, we always share, okay, besides attending the conference, those are the goals that I would like to accomplish there. Because sometimes it's just not attending a conference. There's multiple goals that you want to, you know, kill a few birds with one stone. So painting the picture when you're talking to your partner, it doesn't matter when I'm talking to Liz and when she's talking to me. I need to paint a very clear picture and connect that action that I'm looking to take to our vision, to our goals that we're looking to accomplish. So we are always in alignment. But just say, hey, I want to do this, like point blank. I am not— that would be an immediate no.

I used to do that and I was like, oh man, this is not, this is not working.

My number one, it's, it's how long we took to build a relationship first before we started doing business together. And I think when I look back, we had our friendship first for 2 years, and then we did our first joint venture agreement, was a rehab together, and then we expand from there. The reason why I'm saying it's super important for you to build a relationship first before becoming business partners is that during that 2-year period, I could evaluate Liz's work ethic. How does she show up? Because many times we say, "Ah, let's align on values." How do you do that? Well, you do that not in Zoom, outside Zoom. Did she show up to the calls, the masterminds that we had? On time? Was she prepared? Was she engaged during our coffee meetings at Panera Bread? How did she show up? Did she cancel on me last minute, right? Was she supportive or was she always taking it and not giving it? So throughout those 2 years, we created a relationship that I could see how she would treat the waitress. I know Liz has cash on her wallet all the time.

I love cash. I'm being— I'm an Italian. I love cats.

I don't, right? So we had situations where we could see how one would show up for the other, and that is a super solid foundation for our business, not something that we had to go through it as we become business partners. I know I could rely on her and she knew she could rely on me. So we were able to really get into alignment in regards to our values before we started our business together.

Absolutely. I, and I think that's so critical, especially an example we heard the other day from, you know, somebody in our, in our mastermind about they're working together, they're partnered together, and they've known each other for a year. Right. And, and that's, to me, that's, you gotta be mindful of how long you've known someone, especially if you're putting a lot of money and time and, and, you know, blood, sweat, and tears. Be mindful of that. Take it slow. I think that's great, great advice. All right, so here's my number 2. We keep communication current and honest. And we hear a lot about communication, and I don't think that, again, that's anything new. However, when I really think about our communication, right, me and Andresa's communication over the years, there's a certain type of communication that I do believe makes a partnership work. And it has to be honest and it has to be current. Meaning when we've had breakdowns, which we've had our share of breakdowns or disconnects, are we keeping the communication moving forward? Are we learning from that breakdown from a communication perspective? From a— there's a lot of pieces of that puzzle you're trying to understand. So when you're working with someone, when we've worked together, I think the part is that we don't just haphazardly think, hey, this is a Tuesday afternoon. Here's what's not working with each other. Like, no, you're in do mode, right? Especially as you're building a business. You're not every moment, hey, Andresa, you have an hour to talk to me about how you talked to me the other day. Like, no, I don't have time for that. I don't even have time for that. But it's important to create space to have that conversation. That's what I think most people, romantic relationships as well as business partnerships, don't do. So something that we've done really well, and I'm very proud of the work we've done, is on a monthly basis we have strategic meetings to talk about the business itself, right? Strategic decisions that need to get met. What are we looking forward to the, for the next quarter? What's working, what's not on a business level. We also talk about what's working and not working within our, just our world, whether it's our partnership, whether it's us personally, what's like coming up for ourselves. And that's the time to share, hey, I'm thinking about this. And Andresa and I are evolving as people. We're evolving as business partners. And there's seasons of life, right? There's seasons that we're all in, and we need to be open and communicative with each other. I'm grateful for that space to have with each other so we could talk about that in a way that works, in a way that gives you space to have it versus me out of left field one day calling Andresa, hey, this is what's coming up for me Friday afternoon. She's not going to be— well, our worst conversations have always been Friday. Best or worst, right? Probably.

Yes.

But really, when it comes to it, is being clear for yourself what's coming up for you, you know, and what's working, what's not. And to create that language with each other, I think, has hands down been the key to partnering as long as we have. I don't think we would be here if it wasn't for that.

Well, my number 2 is also that.

Oh, there you go.

We got a match. Monthly.

We got a match. All right, we got a match.

Our monthly strategic meetings. Meetings, and when we meet, as Liz said, we start with where you are at as people. Sometimes Liz is sharing something personal that is going on that gives me more context to be more empathetic, more patient, more understanding of her. And same thing with me. We always start with that despite how urgent it is for us to talk about different goals. We always start with that on a monthly basis. And one key for us is the following. It's recurring and it's on the calendar for the entire year already. So you're not like, oh, can you do this day? Can you do that day? Oh, I cannot do that day. I can do that. No, it's on the calendar for the entire year. We already know, unless of course there's something there to say, hey, this month, that day is not going to work. Let's find another time. Totally flexible to that, but it's not something that we need to, oh, we forgot to have our monthly meeting. No, it's on the calendar. So do yourself a favor, to you and your, your business partner, have that conversation and create that framework. So the framework that we use is very simple. We start with where you're at, what's coming up for you, and then we go into our goals. And we separate it into buckets. So let's say we have different projects that we're going on. We have financials, we have marketing, right? We have our Strive members. What, what can we— how can we improve? What are the bottlenecks? And then we establish actions, not goals. There's a difference between a goal and an action. An action is I can, I can say, hey, I really need to have a clear picture of our cash flow for the quarter. That's a goal. An action is call or schedule a meeting with our bookkeeper in order to go over the current cash flow, what's missing, and what we need to put in place. So keep in mind that when you— we are talking, we are converting our goals into action. So it's super clear and measurable. And I think having that every single month had allowed us to create muscle to, that's how we do business. That's how we keep ourselves in check, in alignment, our business growing in alignment to the season that we are in. So that was my number 2 as well.

I would also say in that process, our recommendation is the more strategic in-person that you can do with your partners, the better. And sometimes you may not live in the same city or live in the same area that we, you know, Andresa and I could meet and it's not too far away. However, I would say make it a point, especially if you have to get on a plane or it's not convenient. So there's something about in-person that Zoom and phone calls just don't just can't equate to. So even on a quarterly level or every 6 months, I would, depending on how your business is and how we talking, one single family rehab, all right, well maybe that's a little different, right? Maybe once or twice a year. But if you have a growing business with multiple properties in multiple areas of the country, I would be seeing that person a little more often, maybe not monthly, certainly quarterly. So just remember, in person is the key, because there's things that's just hard to say on Zoom and hard to say on the phone. But when you're in person, you really have that ability to connect.

And you also give the space for the other person during the strategic meeting. You give the person the space to also say the things that are not working, because that's what's working and what's not working. So it's expected that she's gonna say something that's not working, and I'm gonna say something that is not working. And the, the agreement that we are having is that it's not personal. It's not personal. It's the business. And that is super important. Liz, what's your number 3?

All right. So number 3 I have is we, we both do the work to grow.

Oh, shut the fuck up.

Is that the third? Is that your third?

It's the same.

Damn. Yeah. Oh, we had 2. We had 2. We had one that, that was different. That's not bad. Well, so yeah, I really do believe if it wasn't for that, it's, it's hard to successfully partner with people and grow together.

Tell, tell them, like, what do you mean? So people, yeah, listening, know what, what the hell are you talking about?

Growing my hair, growing my eyelashes. Yeah, all those things are growing. But I saw this somewhere, I don't remember where, but a partnership can't outgrow the people in it. Meaning your partnership can't grow without individuals growing themselves. And we all grow in different ways. The things that I'm growing through and trying to be my best self, if you will, is different than Andresa. Okay. That's, that's natural. And that's, that's, that's just the case. You want to be mindful of what you're working on and also how are you, how are you elevating? And so for me, that's been a journey in my, from my 20s to my 30s to my 40s. I think one of the things I, I really appreciated about Andresa is that we always had this shared, we both valued growing. We, I knew that about her and she knew that about me. So it wasn't like, she's like, yeah, I've gone to this weekend, I've done this. And I was like, oh, I'm not into any of that. Like, I don't think that would've been a match. One of the weekends that we both did before we partnered together that actually has been made an impact in both of our, with our partnership has been the Landmark Forum. So we did it at different times. I did it many years before Andresa because I'm old. No, I'm joking. But I did it in '08, and I remember so much from that workshop. And if you know anything about me, I retain things only that in certain ways. I do retain things, but I remember so much. And same with Andresa. And we use that language as we're working together. So the fact that we did this weekend and we're working on ourselves, and I learned that weekend's all about personal growth. So how do you deal with conflict? That was one of the moments that I started having more difficult conversations and authentic conversations with people. One of the first times in my life that door was starting to be opened. It's a muscle I've developed over the years, but that was the first time I actually had some difficult conversations that I just hadn't had. And so again, growing myself. Andresa has had her own path of growing. I'm curious what I'm trying to think of what things to mention. As we've grown as partners and as leaders, other things come up. Children, you know, you have children, you have growing businesses. You know, I didn't realize I had as much anxiety as I did. I worked through that. I did my own ketamine treatments and things like that that were really helpful for me. It wasn't like I'm just like, you either do ketamine or we're done or anything like that at all. That's not what I'm saying here. But our paths have been, this is my path to growth. This is what it looks like to me to be my best self. And if I'm a better version of me, I'm gonna be a better mom, I'm gonna be a better wife, I'm gonna be a better leader. Wherever it's independent, but it's connected, if that makes sense. It's not just that I'm doing this so I could be a better business partner to Andresa. I was doing a lot of growth so I could be a better version of myself. Period, which then impacts everything I'm involved in, if that makes sense. I really don't think a partnership can grow or sustain if you're not willing to do the work for yourself so that you can be the best version of yourself. I don't know how that, how that happens. I have that in my marriage. I have that with other people that are close to me, but I don't know how that works, Andresa, for people who aren't willing to do the work.

I don't know. It's not my world. It's not my world. So So it's, it's a foreigner thing. And you mentioned that your marriage, right? A partnership, it's a marriage. And like couples therapy, it only works when one person has done the work. Otherwise, here's what from my experience happened. You think you have a business or a partnership issue and it's actually an individual issue. And what happens is when people start resenting each other, for whatever the subject is. So I carry my own traumas, my own experiences, my own lessons, my own values. Lizzy stands on her own. I don't need to carry her and she does not need to carry me emotionally. When there is an imbalance into that in the partnership, it's brutal. It really is. So in our relationship here, we always say, I care enough about you to stand. So when I know that Liz is triggered or when she knows I am triggered about something, we bring that to the surface and we talk about it and we process. You hear that? My son knows about this. We process things. And we close the loop. Many partnerships are not working because they are avoiding having conversations and they have open tabs, open tabs. Think about it. Your computer, right, has a lot of open tabs that are there. They're consuming energy. Same thing with ourselves. We're consuming energy. It's running rent-free inside our own heads. So when you process with a person, you have a complete conversation, you close that tab and you move along. When it's open, it is just a pile of compound resentment that starts building. And then once something happens that it's not even a big deal, it goes to the other person's face, right? So we really encourage all of you to look within. What can you take responsibility? What can you put in place in order to move forward in a more productive way for the relationship? What boundaries can you put in place? Practice verbalizing that with your business partner. For God's sake, if you cannot have those conversations with your business partner because she or he or they are going to be mad, oh, so be it. So create that. Okay, what does man look like and why is that triggering? Like, have a conversation about that dynamic and put something in place that works. Get into alignment or not. Right. So the realignment conversations always happen behind the scenes. And I think that if we haven't done the work ourselves to say, oh, you know, that conflict, that fight that we had, Actually had nothing to do with the fight itself because in my childhood when that happened, that triggered my nervous system and I always react like that. It's freaking awareness, right? Did Liz do something to trigger me on purpose? No. Did I do something to her to trigger her on purpose? No. Is it about the issue? I don't even know what was our last conflict about. You know why? I don't know. Because we close it, we process it, it is done. I don't keep a tab of all the conflicts and shit that Liz go through because it's done. It's complete. If there's something still lingering, so it's important that we continue having that conversation, but it always starts with the commitment with ourselves. And there's— before I end this, I want to just be very clear. There's nothing broken that needs to be fixed, but there's a lot of layers that you have added to you that you need to let go of that no longer serve you. To be quite honest, don't even belong to you. It might be from other generations that were passed on. So the goal here is to really peel all the layers that no longer serve us. But it can't be done if we're not aware of it and willing to do the work. And that takes courage, right, Liz?

Yeah, it takes a lot of courage and it's, it is not for everyone. That's why as you're, as you're seeking partners and depending on the level of partnership, right? If you're doing a flip with them, okay, that's one level. If you're, you know, building a, a, a business and a movement, right? Andresa Guidelli and I are, are, We're not just running a business, right? We're very mission-oriented in the sense of we wanna impact the world, and we are impacting the world by supporting women taking control of their financial future. That's a big thing. That's a big meaningful movement. So for us to be on this journey together, as our roles evolve, as our time evolves, as our interests evolve, right? As people, as women, We need to continually, right, be authentic to ourselves and authentic to each other. When you have that with someone, keep going, right? Do the, do the monthly meetings. Make sure you're communicating honestly, but communicate honestly with yourself. I don't think people are honest enough with themselves first to be honest with somebody else.

And if you're someone that wants to get into a partnership feeling very confident, or if you are somebody that you are in a partnership right now that's not working, Or if you're somebody that had a bad experience with partnerships in the past, but you do understand how can you leverage it to grow your real estate business and you want to learn more about it, we are going to New York City. We're preparing an investor pop-up on February 27th. It's going to be an afternoon of hands-on exercises. Talking about the prenup, what you need to do before you get into a relationship, how to leverage each other's skills and experiences, and when conflict hits, how can you handle it? We have Cass and Mike LoZaro. They wrote the book Shoveling Shit, and they have been in business for decades, and they also married, so they know a lot about partnerships. So if you are in, in New York or around the area, we invite you to join us. We're going to keep all the information that you need below. I hope to see you there. Thank you.