Is it going to get better? How to Chase the Bright Side with Simplicity

Welcome ladies to The Real Estate Investor Show, providing inspiration, strategies, and insight to empower women investors to live balanced and financially free lives. Now here are your co-hosts, Liz and Andresa Guidelli.

So in today's episode, ladies, we have Jess Ekstrom. She's the founder of Headbands of Hope. She's a serial entrepreneur, and she's also the author of Chasing the Bright Side. So today's episode was really phenomenal because we get into all the important things we need to do in order to be that successful investor or entrepreneur. And something that we touched upon was morning routines. I know we talk about morning routines on everywhere you can read or, or listen to, but we— she gives some really helpful ways to look at morning routines in unique ways that quite honestly, I've never heard before.

And I think you're going to get a lot from today.

And also during this episode, we talk about uncluttering, clearing our thoughts, right? We are in the era where when we wake up, we touch our phone and the information starts coming in. So it's important for us to also have a valve that all of that stuff can escape. So this episode is full of practical strategies you can apply today.

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Welcome back, ladies.

This is Liz and this is Andresa.

Welcome back to the Real Estate InvestHer Show. We are all about empowering women to live a financially free and balanced life. And I'm just— that is what we stand upon. That's what we focus on every time we do anything with our community. And then we're speaking, we're connecting, we're serving, right?

Yes, absolutely.

Yes. So we have Jess Strom on our show here today. Thanks so much for being here, Jess. Excited to jump into your story. So inspiring and so uplifting and so powerful as an entrepreneur that you're doing social good as well. And I know how passionate you are about supporting women. So thanks so much for being on today.

Yeah, thanks for having me. Thrilled to be here.

Yeah, excited to jump into her story here in a moment. As we always like to do, right, Andresa? We like to get connected to all of you amazing women and men who listen to our show, get connected to all of you with some sort of tip, something that's coming up for us that you can use in your life, because that's what this is about, right? It's not about us entertaining you, although Andresa Guidelli can be entertaining at times. It's about taking something into your life and moving the needle so you can live a life on your own terms. That's what we stand for. So I have something to share, Andresa.

Okay.

I have always something to share. So, you know, it's funny, some people are very— some couples are very romantic, right? They celebrate this day, they celebrate that day, they celebrate the first time they looked at each other, whatever. You know, I know some people like that.

Jesus Christ.

I know, right?

Isn't that intense? I know other people who literally don't even know their anniversary of when they got married. Oh my gosh, that's bad. Oh, it's that, right? There's a spectrum. So, so my husband and I have always been probably in the middle of that. I honestly forget our first date. And so beginning of this year, you know, we're doing our goal setting and he goes, do you know what this year is? I'm like, no, what is this year? You know? And then I'm like, I didn't know what he was even talking about. He's like, this marks our 20th anniversary of our first date. I'm like, oh my God. I thought it was like 19.

Wow. 20 years.

You know? So we knew it was May 23rd. And so we put the date on the calendar at the beginning of the year. Well, this, this spring has been very crazy, Andresa, you know that.

Yes.

Gearing up for our InvestHerCon, some, some, some important family travel, some business travel, speaking. And honestly, I forgot that it was coming up and, and honestly, and I forgot to put it on the calendar. Um, but I know we had it like out there and I'm like, something is going on in the next couple of weeks that I know you and I need a babysitter. He's like, our 20th anniversary. Oh my God, Liz, cute. I know he had to remind me a bunch. So I, in, in that moment, I was, I get into my point here. In that moment, I said to myself, I am so busy. Like, honestly, I need a night just to have some time myself to catch up on email. And now like taking a big chunk of time to go, to go out to dinner with my husband. And I didn't say that honestly. I didn't vocalize that, but I had it in my head. And I said, Liz, These are the important things you need to celebrate, that you have a very, very healthy marriage and you wanna keep it healthy. And yeah, you're busy and yeah, you got a lot going on. Yes, you're literally coming off of one thing about to go into something else, but get clear on what your priorities are and go celebrate that. So I felt the kind of guilt, right? And had this like feeling of guilt to take some time to do something special. And I felt it and, and did it anyway. And we had such a lovely time. Uh, we actually passed Andresa's house on the way to Dad and we like beeped and went out and said, I know, I know you guys were going to dinner.

And then all of a sudden I get a call from Liz and she's like, Listen, we're going to dinner. I was like, yeah, I know. I'm right in front of your house. I was like, how?

How?

The neighborhood is—

I know.

Another—

took some random terms.

Andresa did a pit stop to say hi.

But I say that because as women, as men, whomever's listening, you're busy, right? And it's really easy to not do the important, not urgent things, especially for the people that love us most, right? My husband might have understood. I mean, he probably wouldn't have on that day. But he might've understood, hey hun, I need a really time. Can we just postpone this a couple weeks? But there's something special about doing it on the night, right? And that night that we went on that first date. So, so feel the guilt, celebrate the important, not urgent things, especially with the people closest to you in your life. No one's gonna force you to do that, but that's where we keep our relationships healthy, right? The things that we all work for, right? So, and I'm really grateful. We had such a nice time and we didn't actually get into any fights. It was lovely. We laughed. And it was just a really positive night. So I just think celebrate those things that sometimes we need to be reminded of, right?

You know, Liz, there is a pretty, like this notion that, oh, you guys have a great relationship and that comes natural. You don't have to put effort into it or you don't have to work on it. And I see, I've been seeing you guys for years and years and there is work that it's put on it, right? You, it's mindful. It is intentional. And I love you both very much.

Well, thank you.

I appreciate that. And you support us a ton. All right.

So I butt in with a story related to that.

Please.

That's what it is.

Because it was making me think, people who are work-focused, so much of our energy goes to strangers first. And one of my friends who's a speaker— and I won't say his name, but he was speaking a ton. And then when you get back from traveling or just like a big work thing, You want to go home and you just want to recharge, but therefore you're not giving like that, you know, time and attention to the people who are always there. And his wife, this was like his kind of wake-up call after he got back from like a long leg. He was like, oh, you know, I don't really want to go out to dinner. Let's just like order in and, and, you know, whatever. And she was like, I wish you gave me half the energy that you give to strangers every day. And he was like, whoa, I didn't realize that I was doing that. And it's so easy in this world that we live in with like social media and like how much are we showing up for the strangers in our life versus the people who we truly love and care about? Because it, it's a tricky place to feel like it's unconditional, like they'll always be there.

Right.

Because then you're just like, well, they'll always be there, but you gotta put in the work. And so that resonated with me a ton, especially when you're in this like busy mode all the time, which I can relate to.

That totally makes sense. I love that perspective is how much energy is going to strangers versus the people that are VIPs, right? Like, you know, your closest. So I love that.

Yeah.

Good, good perspective, Jess. So excited to jump into your story. And we always like to kind of kick things off by asking what propelled you to kind of get involved in, in the journey that you're involved in and obviously the success that you've had in, in multiple businesses. That have such a social impact, you know? So tell us a little about how, you know, how that all happened for you and, and how it began for you.

Yeah.

Well, it all started when I was in college. I was interning for the Make-A-Wish Foundation and I saw a lot of kids that were losing their hair to chemotherapy and they'd be offered a wig or they'd be given a hat. And, you know, there was a time and place where they wanted to wear a wig and a hat, but a lot of them I would see would buy their own headband. And they just wanted to wear something that didn't cover up their head but just made them feel confident, made them feel like a kid again. And I just thought it was such a cool gesture of confidence that they opted for the headband over pretending to have a wig or a hat on. And so I would see them coming into the offices or see them on their wish trips with these amazing headbands. And I just— I, it was like, it's almost like a match that strikes in your head. A lot of times we're, we're told about like the aha moment, you know, the moment where like the clouds part and birds start chirping and you're like, oh, like I have this idea. But for me, and I think for a lot of people, it's not like this jolt of clarity. It's like this little match that strikes in your head. And if you don't pay attention to it, then it'll go out. but if you keep feeding it with like plans or time and attention, then it can build into, into a flame, into something. And so I was thinking, I was like, oh, I went onto Google, I think. And I looked up, you know, headbands for kids with illnesses and couldn't find anything. And I remember just, I call it now like the dumbest, smartest moment of my life being like 19 years old and saying like, oh, I could do that. And having no clue what I was in for, not studying business entrepreneurship. You know, couldn't even spell entrepreneur if I'm being honest. And so I started Headbands of Hope and for every headband sold, one is donated to a child with an illness. And to date, you know, we've donated over a million headbands and reached every hospital in America and 22 countries. And I mean, from that, I realized that like even just the story of starting Headbands of Hope in that moment was a really interesting product in itself. So that really catapulted a career in thought leadership with speaking and writing books, which led to a whole bunch of other things, which I can get into, but we'll start there.

You know, Jess, I think you're talking about something very— that happens very often to women, not just to women, to individuals in general. But if we don't pay attention, it goes somewhere else. I don't know where I heard this, but it's like, this like whisper in your ear, right? This idea or, or in real estate, we always think, oh, it would be cool if yes, that, that, that, that happened. And then we're like, yeah, but it probably already exists. Or we like, oh, that's dumb idea or whatever. And you don't, you don't take the step further because many times ours, we were just talking about being busy, right? Our schedule doesn't allow us to even sit and digest that idea. And I was reading your bio and everything that you stand for. You're talking about like analyzing the morning routine. Listen, I do like the Miracle Morning book and all what they stand for. But to be quite honest, I do think that it's really unreasonable to ask moms and busy women out there to follow a pattern. That doesn't fit.

Exactly.

It just does not fit our schedule. So let's talk about the morning routine for, for, for women, right?

Yeah.

How can we, how can we have at least something in there that supports us and our goals?

Yeah. Well, before I dive into that, I also wanted to hit on something you said of like falling into the trap of, you know, it would be cool if, or I think the statement that actually gets us even more is like, once I blank, then I can blank. So like once I hit this amount of revenue or once I sell, you know, this amount of houses or once I have this amount of clients, then I can do, think, feel this. And so it's almost like we delay what we truly want, but what happens that we all know is that we constantly keep moving the goalposts. You know, we, we think like, oh, well, once I get this, then I'll feel like I've done it, or then I can relax, or then I can let go a little bit. But when that happens, we're just going to keep moving the goalposts until like, well, now I know this whole new level that exists, and now I have to like beat out this person or sell this amount. So I think that the one side then I trap is like a really something that we need to pay attention to. Like, how much are we delaying what we truly want to do or feel because we keep moving the goalposts. But talking about morning routines and just how we start our day, like my biggest pet peeve is like the Forbes articles that are like, here are the 5 things, you know, millionaires do before like you wake up. And it's like, just about like, it's, it literally exists to make you feel like shit. And it's like, what? I'm not going to drink a raw egg or do 100 pushups every morning and like hope that that'll yield me a million dollars. And so what I like to say in terms of like analyzing your morning routine isn't as much about tasks or habits as it is about thought. And the way that I think that we can really give ourselves attention to thought is by creating before we consume. And so even if it's just for like while your coffee's brewing or like while you're sitting on the toilet, let's be honest. And you just have a couple minutes to just write down your thoughts or create before you consume, that can do wonders for our day. It can put us in the driver's seat because what happens is like our alarm goes off, we switch it over, and then we immediately tap the closest app. Maybe it's Instagram, maybe it's Gmail, and unknowingly, subconsciously, we are feeding our brain someone else's thoughts because we're not creating our own. And so I'm not a stickler for morning routines or do this or do that, but I am someone who believes believes that just create before you consume or have a moment with your own thoughts before you open the door to, to the rest of the world.

Yeah. It's so important, right? Because when we don't do that, we're letting everyone else kind of control and impact our, our way of being. We're not in the, we're not in the driver's seat anymore. Right. I know the days that I don't have like, and it's very rare right now, but the days that I don't have time, like 5 minutes to, to read, do my quick reading and do a quick meditation, even if it's 10 minutes. If I don't get that in, I really have a different day, right? Just because it's just almost like something for yourself, let alone the breakthroughs of the breath or just connecting with the day.

One good question that you can ask yourself, you know, when you start your day is like, how do I want to feel today? And instead of saying like, how do I feel right now? How do I want to feel today? And then when you can set like that precedent, like, well, I want to feel like I'm a boss today, then you can find small ways to like feed that thought evidence, you know, okay, well, if I want to feel like a boss today, then I'm not going to let these men talk over me in my 8:00 AM meeting, you know, and that's because that's what a boss would do. So if you feel overwhelmed with trying to digest like what your own emotions are in the morning, just like, well, what do you want to feel? And it's almost like dress for the job you want, not for the job you have. We can do the same thing with our thoughts.

Jess, you know, all the ladies that are listening to me right now that maybe, you know, just woke up on the wrong foot today or something is happening. Raise your hand if you can hear me in the car with the kids screaming in the back or, you know, whatever your situation is. And let's say today that was not possible. Is there a reset button or something that we can do to just shift the energy? Because the word The first thing that I think we can, we can do is to quote unquote waste our day because the start of the day didn't go as we wish. So how can we reset that?

That's a great question. And one of the things that I, is a really cool differentiation that I like to do when I feel angry or when I feel anxious or upset is we oftentimes try to make it blanket generalization, like I'm angry, I'm upset, I've failed, instead of, well, I have feelings of anger, I have feelings of upset, and I have feelings of anxiety right now. When we can make space between how we identify with an emotion and that we have feelings of it, it reminds us that it's temporary and it's not who we are. It is just like we have like a craving when we go by Krispy Kreme and we can smell the hot donuts. Like, It's, it's temporary and it is just a fleeting, a fleeting moment. So don't get mad at yourself for having the negative thought. Actually be proud of yourself that you noticed the negative thought, because when we can notice the negative thought, it means we're not identifying with it. But where we get a slippery slope is when we're like, I'm a failure. I'm angry. I'm anxious. It's when me and the emotion are synonymous, which they never are, even the good ones. So it, it's, it's putting space between I'm angry, I have feelings of anger because the second one is gonna pass a lot quicker than the first one.

Yeah. Love that. That's great. You know, I've heard that too. You have feelings, you're not them, right? You're not that feeling.

Love that.

Yes.

Which is easier said than done.

Yeah, of course. Of course. But it's, it's really important to— is that separation, right? It's that separation. Yeah.

My husband, he's, um, it's funny cuz like I'm the, you know, the optimist author, but I feel like I'm in optimist author and speaker because it's something I've had to work on. And he is just naturally like, birds are chirping every morning, like sun is shining, the tank is clean. And so it's so frustrating sometimes whenever I'm like, I'm angry. He's like, well, on chapter 7 of your book, this. I'm like, do not come at me with my own advice right now.

Right? That's the best, right? I love that. You talk also about a 15-minute practice around letting go of mental clutter. I'd like to speak to that. I mean, I think everyone has mental clutter, but I think about the reasons Andresa and I started InvestHer 4 years ago. And as women, right, we have like so many figurative hats, metaphorical hats that we wear. Everyone does, but certainly, you know, women have so many things being thrown at them professionally, personally. And we try to do it all.

Yeah.

And we all know we can't do it all. Nope. No one really wants to do it all, quite honestly. Yeah. But we don't always have the community, the tools, the strategies to, to let go and start to really create the life we want. And that's some of the reason for, for real estate investors, certainly we, we, we came together around just this overwhelm, right? Mm-hmm. Or this perceived overwhelm. So walk us through a little bit of this 15-minute strategy around mental clutter. Yeah. Because I think, I think a lot of us, right, have that mental clutter and It's again, it's not, you are not it, you, but you have to probably do something to release it. Right? So walk us through that if you don't mind.

Yeah. Well, I mean, it's no secret that we are just in information overload. Like everywhere we look is input and very rarely are we getting the opportunity for output.

That's wonderful. And you, you wrote a book called Chasing the Bright Side, right? And you already said that you are optimistic. I'm going to read one part over here. It says, uh, success is not born out of skill, school, where we are from, who we know, or what score on the SAT, right? I wish I knew that before I was killing myself for A's in back, back in the day.

Me too.

You continue saying none of us were born ready. None of us started life knowing how to fly a plane or launch a company. Or not a sweater for our dog. And I agree. I totally agree with you. However, there's so much pressure on women. Oh, it's 2022. The opportunities are the same for everybody. And I was thinking another day, yeah, think about a race, right? If we were putting men, women, minority, and you can go different lanes, right? We didn't start on the same.

Line.

And I think that a lot of women put a ton of pressure to have success looking like other folks that don't look like us, didn't have the same path as us. And I'm not saying this is an excuse. I just don't want people to forget or not acknowledge that success looks different for every single person. So from your point of view, you wrote You wrote the book, how can in the midst of everything else, we can create our own success? Where do we start?

Yeah, no, I love that you brought that up because I mean, everyone's starting block is different. And I'll admit that I was born into a family of privilege. You know, I come from a white family. They were, you know, well off. And so to be able to start my business, it was I had a safety net that made me feel like I could leap. And so many people don't have that safety net. And so I feel like now that, you know, Headbands of Hope has, has evolved, my like business model and the things that I care about is really less about how far I can reach and like, what can I use? What can I teach about like what I've learned so far? But one of the things that, that stuck out to me when you were talking is like, how can we identify like our own individual success without a measuring stick to someone else, which is really hard considering like we basically have a front row seat to everyone's trophy shelf on like LinkedIn or Instagram. It's like, oh wow, you know, another award, or I'm pleased to announce this. And you're like, you gotta be freaking kidding me because it's just, you know, too much. But it's really hard to not measure our success in comparison to someone else. But one of the things that I teach in Chasing the Bright Side in the book that I find really helpful when I feel like maybe I'm, I'm chasing after the, the wrong things or just want to audit the things I'm pursuing in my life, I like to call it the purpose test. And what you do, y'all, whoever's listening, you can do this right now, is think about like maybe the one thing that you're chasing right now. What is like the top thing that you're going after? Maybe it's work-related, maybe, you know, maybe it's something else. If you achieved that thing, if you got it, but then you had to remove your entire name from it, no one knew it was you, would you still do it? And to me, that is like such a great gut check of whether or not I'm pursuing something based on how it looks or based on how it feels, because there's been so many things, you know, opportunities in my life where I did it for me. Like I did it because I'm like, oh, this will look, this will amplify my, you know, profile. This will boost my brand. And I'm not saying that we shouldn't do those things, but I'm saying that they're not our final destination. Like, I hope that you celebrate achievements that you get, awards, you know, revenue goals. I want people to celebrate those. But when we confuse those like tangible achievements with internal success, that's where, like I was saying in the beginning, that's where we keep moving the goalposts because it's like the horse and the carrot. You know, the horse keeps trotting, but the carrot isn't moving any closer. That's exactly what it feels like when we always believe like that we're on the brink and that one form of a tangible achievement is going to fill that cup. We have to be able to do that purpose test and say, you know what, if no one knew this was me, I would still do it because I know that it matters.

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Very powerful, you know, and I, I, I'm thinking about something that you said in, in some of the, uh, communications we had with you prior to, to this interview. You were talking a little bit about how important it is as you're starting anything, a business, a lot of the things you've started is, is to be able to solve a problem that can be explained to a kindergartner, you know? And so what you're saying right now though is interesting. How do you keep yourself in check that you're solving a problem? We know that as entrepreneurs, right? If you're adding, if you're not adding value, you're not gonna be successful. I don't know if I don't, I would imagine everyone listening would, would agree with that on some level. How do you keep yourself in check that the, the problems that you're solving, we'll talk about the kindergarten part in a second, but the problems that you're solving, whether it be nonprofit, for-profit, are aligned with that internal compass. Versus what the world thinks you should do or would make a lot of money or, you know, there's a, there's a fine balance with that, I think.

Yeah.

Because, and also you're solving a problem that is gonna be internally focused for you, but quite honestly may not, right, serve other people. And now you're, you just have a passion, which is wonderful, but you know, clearly your passion lined up with what the world needed as well. Yeah. How have you navigated that? Where as, as women we're solving problems, we're looking to grow our businesses. But we're also, and we're also trying to do it in a way that we're staying true to our internal, you know, compass and, and solve something pretty big. 'Cause we know that that's gonna be powerful for us as we grow.

That's a great question. I, there's so many things spinning, but how I would break it down is like, first decide your north star, you know, like I feel like as women we're allowed to be multifaceted in so many ways, like to be, have to force ourselves to like fit in a box. Is unrealistic, but I do think it's important to have like just one north star that you can guide your decision-making processes. Is it like, you know, just wanting to advance, you know, women in real estate? Is it wanting to, you know, for me it's, it's wanting to help women become seen and valued as thought leaders. So what is that north star? And then make sure that those ideas and kind of those match strikes in your head, like, does it align in that North Star, or is it an outlier? Because an outlier, although it could be a great idea, if it doesn't fit into the ecosystem like that you're already creating, it, it, it's going to be a lot of gear shifting to implement. It's going to be a lot of like trying to figure out how all of this works together. So what's your North Star? Does that match strike, you know, fall under that North Star? And then what's the quickest most low-cost way that you can test and see if people actually pull out their dollars and, uh, and give you their money. Because of course you could be at coffee, everyone's like, oh my God, brilliant, love it. And then you're like, okay, will you pay XYZ for it? So, but now with like social media, there's so many different ways that you can just test interest. You like even Facebook now, you can do, um, like a paid, you know, live or something where you don't even have to build a website. You can just have, you know, a free, like a free training, see how many people show up, or there's so many different ways that you can test things that I would just try simple way to test it. And then the last thing I would say to that, you know, oftentimes there's this belief that like, in order for us to do something, it is like all in, you know, there's no shallow end. It is only deep end. And I don't subscribe to that belief. Like, I think that we can try something on, give ourselves a timeline and then ask ourselves, does this work? And so I like just trying something on. When my husband and I wanted to travel in an Airstream, you know, the idea of like leaving our home and living in an aluminum 25-foot, you know, thing was like, maybe this is crazy, but we just tried it on, you know, like what would life look like for the next month if we were going to move into an Airstream? And then either that timer that you set for yourself is going to go off and you're going to say, you know what? This was fun, but I'm out. Or you're not even going to hear the timer because you're already like swooped into the process. So find your North Star and then find a quick, low-cost way to test it and then try it on for a certain amount of time and give yourself permission to quit. I think that quitting is like really admirable and a lot of people think, you know, quitting is, you know, like failing. Failing. Yeah.

Yeah.

It's huge.

I think, yeah. I mean, when you try something and even if it doesn't work, you have so much more information than you did before. So like failures at the end of the day are research for the future.

100% agree with that. Liz and I have done so many things in our business and, and we know going in that, listen, this might be just an investment for data purpose. There's no, you know, other, other way to describe it. And I love what you're saying. And I think I want to relate to the real estate investors when we are talking about marketing. So for the ladies that are listening, I was speaking at a virtual event and one of the ladies was asking, oh, how much should I invest in Facebook ads and mailing campaigns? And I was like, let me take a step back. Share with me where you are in your investment business. So no, just starting out.

Like what the fuck?

Lots of break. We have this idea that in order to be successful in real estate, you have to have this amazing website, a CRM, amazing logo, business cards, a desk, a chair that fits your back. And then you have to have this wonderful printer, or you have to have, you name it, you name it, you name it. I was like, stop. Walk on your street, on the streets of the neighborhood that you're looking to buy properties, talk to people, get a list of the houses that look vacant. Start there. Start there. You're putting dollars into something unless you have a very tight funnel that you can test it and see, okay, this amount, I invested this amount, this amount of people open up, this amount of people clicked or whatever. And you can go on and on with, with ads. Unless you can measure that and you have revenue, you have income coming in to cover that, what is the purpose of following something that you don't know? How can you, exactly what you're saying, Jess, how can you test it and see? I'll say, do you know if that's what you want to do? Not really, because I'm an artist. I was like, exactly, right? So how can you test the waters without having to spend so many dollars, especially right now, and then see it if it works, if it doesn't work, and then the, oh, but then, then, then I'm not going to succeed and then I'm going to fail. Well, I think failing, it's, it's part of the process and how we interpret that. And I want to see, I want to ask you this question because you wrote a book on that. Is there a bright side? In failing? We might not see it during, during the process, right?

But you share. Well, I, you know, I talk about a story in Chasing the Bright Side that happened 11 years ago, and I have never, I had never spoken publicly about it until the book came out. And, you know, long story short, you can read Chasing the Bright Side, but you know, my family was involved in a really public scandal when I was in high school, and it was something that I thought was so— was the outlier to me and not a part of me. I'm like, no one can find out about this, of who I'm related to, because then that— I'll be done. Like, that's, that's it. And it took 11 years for that, you know, I don't know if I call it a failure or what I would call it, but for that like scarlet letter to see the bright side in it and actually be able to connect the dots that that was pivotal turning point for me where it gave me the gift of being able to look at myself and look at life introspectively at a young age where a lot of people might not have that wake-up call until later in life. So Headbands of Hope wouldn't be here today. So many of the things that I'm doing wouldn't be here today had we not had been totally derailed in 2008. So don't force yourself to see the bright side, but just have trust that it's developing. Yeah.

Isn't that, isn't that so powerful? And it's hard to remember that sometimes when you're in it. Right. And that's why we stand so, we stand for community because we just can't see that sometimes when we're in it ourselves. Yeah. We need, we need somebody to be like, it's going to get better. You know, did you try this? You know, we've been through that too. That happened to me. And this is how I handled it. It's hard to do that alone. And so many of the women that come to our community, Jess, and are part of our, listen to our podcast, part of our Strive membership, just all the different buckets that we serve, our meetups across the country are trying to do it alone.

You know?

And yeah, they're successful. They're, they're successful women, you know, in, in and of itself, but they're doing it alone and they, they feel kind of like rugged individuals, you know? And I think that's a lot of women. And so we are trying to break that cycle because it's hard to ask for help or we feel bad, or I could just do it better than that person. There's a lot of reasons, right? So I, I love what you're saying is it just makes you think about, and, and it gives me that that next piece of encouragement of what we're up to, because it is about community and it's about seeing yourself in other people, right? And not feeling to be made the person who doesn't get it or made that mistake and they're alone, you know?

100%.

Yeah. So, so powerful. Love this, Jess. Love what you're sharing. Really love everything you're up to. Please share with the ladies listening where they can connect with you further, learn more about what you're doing these days.

Yeah, I would love that. You can find me on Instagram @Jess_Extrem, also on TikTok, trying to figure that out. Don't expect any dances, but if you'd like to try out Prompted, my self-improvement app with all of those pathways, you can go to prompted.io and use the code INVEST for 1 month free.

Awesome. Thank you so much, Jess. Now we're gonna transition to our Fabulous 3 questions, and the first one is, what's the most powerful book you ever read?

I would say the one that's most transformative was Start With Why by Simon Sinek and really got me thinking about like what my business is about, how I want to choose to show up in business and not focus so much on the what, but the why.

I love him so much and I love his videos and he's like a thought-provoking leader. I really like Simon a lot. The second question is, what's the most transformational routine that you do to create a financially free and balanced life?

Probably setting up savings accounts, like different buckets of things that I want to do in life with just automatic draft, like into them every month. So I don't have to constantly think about like, oh, I want to save for this trip or that wedding. Like it's already in a bucket. And so that was a big, big shift to take it out of my mind and just like into a system.

Wonderful. And the last question is, which woman, famous or not, has inspired you the most?

Oh, I love Sarah Blakely, Spanx founder. She, she is the definition of like business and pleasure. I love how she doesn't take herself too seriously and she is like living proof of like, you don't have to start with the bells and whistles. You just have to start. So I love her and, and the way she approaches business.

I love, I love when she talks about when she was sharing about Spanx with a couple of suppliers and they're like, Spank what?

Yeah.

Pancake? Like, that's not gonna work. She went to like door to door to so many suppliers and with this, you know, template of what she had at the moment. She had, she didn't have this magical presentation on PowerPoint or whatever. You know, and now she's just like sold for billions and billions. So wonderful, wonderful. Thank you so much, Jas, for being on our show today. We really appreciate you very much.

Thanks, ladies.

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