In this 20‑minute solo podcast minisode, a seasoned real‑estate investor reflects on three core principles that have shaped two decades of portfolio growth. Lesson 1 warns that moving too quickly—exemplified by a rushed choice of a custodian that resulted in a $750,000 loss—can be far costlier than any poorly‑structured deal, and recommends a one‑day “slow‑down” rule before major decisions. Lesson 2 introduces the concept of personal non‑negotiables—time, capital, risk tolerance, energy, and even family‑teaching goals—as guardrails that protect investors from deals that look good on paper but misalign with their broader life vision. Lesson 3 emphasizes that market fundamentals (supply‑demand dynamics, economic drivers, demographic trends) outweigh the specifics of any single property, illustrated by early missteps in Trenton, NJ and subsequent diversification into multiple states. The episode closes with a promotion for the InvestHer Pods, a five‑month mentorship program for women real‑estate investors seeking accountability and guidance.
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After 20 years as a real estate investor, I've learned something that might surprise you. It's not what you think. It's not about knowing more strategies or chasing better deals. It's actually about the lessons that guide long-term success. And today I'm sharing those 3 lessons with you. These are lessons that I wish someone had handed me before I spent years learning them the hard way. So if you're a real estate investor looking to grow your portfolio, this episode will change how you think about your next decision. So let's jump into lesson number 1. Rushing is more expensive than any bad deal. The biggest mistakes that I've made in literally the 20 years that I've been investing didn't happen because I didn't know enough. They happened because I moved too quickly. Urgency feels productive, but it's actually very expensive. I'm going to give you a really quick example of rushing and what that cost me and the company in the long haul. So, what ended up happening was we were selling a property, an 18-unit in Philadelphia. We owned it with a group of investors. It was a syndication and we were selling it for a great profit and we were going to take all of their capital, the investor's capital, as well as our own capital, plus the profit and do a 1031 exchange for a larger building, 198-unit building that we were purchasing. And so we found a custodian, but we rushed to find the custodian. Okay? So I just wanna say that. And it was $750,000 from the sale of the 18-unit that we were holding in this, with this custodian to put into the 198-unit complex. So about 2 weeks before closing, We were reaching out to the custodian, nothing came back, no communication. Long story short, this custodian ended up like almost like was a mini Bernie Madoff and ended up stealing millions of dollars, including our $750,000 from various investors over his course of his operations and his business. Long story short, we got to the closing table, we made our investors whole, we ended up selling that building. And returning all investor capital. It took a while and we turned it around, but that whole process caused such a tremendous amount of stress. Now, we didn't steal the money, right? Obviously. We chose though the custodian. And in hindsight, when I really get honest with myself, right, it really comes back to moving too fast. So I really want you to think about this for your own life, right? As you're listening, as you're taking micro action to move your portfolio along, I want you to think about the next major decision you have to make, right? Really sit with that. Think about that next major decision. And now I want you to slow down by 24 hours. Use like that one-day rule. Notice what sort of like comes up for you and gets clear for you when you give a little more time to the decision. Now, I'm not saying wait weeks and weeks because sometimes people will, will delay decisions they have to make. I'm not saying that at all, but give yourself space and time so you can really make sure you're making the right call. All right? So that's lesson number 1. Do not rush into partnerships. Do not rush deals. Do not rush making these decisions that are gonna make an impact on your business. Lesson number 2, that is probably one of the most important lessons that I have learned over the course of my 2 decades as an investor. Your non-negotiables. Protect you more than any deal ever will. Here's what I mean by that. If a deal requires you to abandon your non-negotiables, it's not the right deal. I'll say that again. If a deal requires you to abandon your non-negotiables, it is not the right deal. No matter how the numbers look, no matter how the partner is shaping up, I like to think of my non-negotiables as my guardrails that kind of keep me in line. It's kind of like, going bowling, right? You're going bowling without those guardrails, if you will, that bowling ball would go across the entire location. So, when you ignore them, it costs you in the long haul. And that's what I wanna talk about. I remember for me along the way, projects would look great on paper and then it doesn't fit my kind of like my non-negotiables. It goes against one of my non-negotiables. So, as I've gotten clear as an investor, over the last 2 decades, I wish I was clear with my non-negotiables earlier on and as I was growing my portfolio. What does that look like? For me, non-negotiables include time, money, how much money you want to make, how much money you're willing to put at risk, how much time you're looking to invest, whether you want to invest it actively or passively. So time and money. And the third part is energy. Is this project going to give me joy, give me energy, or is it going to literally take the living energy out of my body if I'm participating in this. So when I'm evaluating projects now, whether to move ahead with them, yes, of course, I want to be financially sound. I wanna make money. It needs to be financially sound, right? And though there are other non-negotiables, so time, money, and energy, the fourth non-negotiable that I've added to my non-negotiables is do I have the ability to teach my children in like a, a real life scenario, through this project. That has become increasingly really important to me. I have a 12-year-old, I have an 8-year-old, 8-year-old daughter, 12-year-old boy. And if I don't intentionally bring them to projects and teach them lessons, I don't feel like I'm going to be able to impact them as much. And that's a really important one for me. So this project came up about 6 months ago and it fit those boxes. Time, it would require me to build a team so I don't have to manage the day-to-day operations, check. Money, it would produce a really strong return. We were able to put our HELOC into the money and then also just get one private lender. I didn't wanna syndicate or do anything big. I just wanted one private lender to make the project work. Check. Third, energy. Would this bring me some joy? And my husband and I have not done, like, we haven't done like a ground-up construction project in a really long time. And that would bring me joy. So I was excited by that, especially it was in our community, it was close to home. The fourth one with my kiddos, it was in my hometown. So the project's actually 2 miles from my house. So I really love that aspect. So again, it met all my non-negotiables. And I can't stress that enough as a real estate investor, right? Really to outline what are your non-negotiables. And a great place to start would be to look at your time, money, money in, money you're looking to earn, as well as energy. How much energy you'll give to it, what kind of energy you want to have with it. Are you looking for creativity or to bring you some joy or to— what's the benefit from an energy perspective? And then the fourth one for me is kids, my kiddos. You might have a fourth non-negotiable. So start with that, 3 or 4 non-negotiables so you ensure that the deals don't just pencil out, but they also meet your other requirements, right? That really really matters. Okay? So lesson 1 was all about rushing. Just make sure you do not rush. Give yourself that extra 24 hours. Number 2 is all about your non-negotiables will protect you and keep you aligned with your greater vision of where you're headed. Make sure you identify those 3 or 4 non-negotiables when it comes to time, money, energy, and any other things that are important to you. The 3rd lesson I wanna share is something a real estate agent shared with me many years ago, and I wish I understood this early on. The market matters more than the deal itself. I'll say that again. Always have a pulse on the market as your number one strategy versus being enamored and knowing everything you need to know about the deal. That's important, of course, the project, the property itself, but you need to first lead with the market and have a pulse on what's happening in the market. That lesson honestly took me longer than it should have. I remember my husband and I, as we grew our portfolio, we invested heavily in Trenton, New Jersey. And in Trenton, we did not study the market. We did not study the trends, and we didn't look at what was happening with the economic shift of the city. Were people coming to the city? Where is the city in terms of supply and demand, job creation, diversity of jobs, all the things that matter as you're looking at a market. And I remember Talking to him, I remember we were at a Panera Bread and we're like, can we afford it? We wanna make a difference and it's close to home. That seems like a great place to invest in. And in hindsight, we would've been more successful if we were more refined with the market and ensuring that you were part of a market that there is a stronger demand than supply, that it's a growing economy, that people are, are coming to the area versus leaving the area. And all the other economic pieces that, that matter. So as we've transitioned to other markets, North Carolina, Kentucky, Pennsylvania, Minnesota, uh, Houston, Texas, even those things matter, right? The economics of that, of that town and as well as the region matter. So as you're, as you're really looking and expanding your growth of your own portfolio, and you're considering new markets or what have you, go back to the basics. Look at supply and demand, and you want to be on the side, obviously strong demand, lower supply for what you are, what product you are offering, whether it's that single-family rental, whether it's a short-term rental, whether it's a small multifamily. You want to be ensure with what you look at and the research that you do that you're more demand than supply, right? Who's moving in? Who's moving out? Right? What is being built from a new construction perspective? And where is their growth? Right? What's the economic drivers of that area? All those things matter. So just remember, market over deal. So to quickly summarize the 3 lessons from today's mini-episode, here's number 1. Rushing is more expensive than any bad deal. Second, your non-negotiables always come first. And third, the market always, always matters more than the deal. If this episode has resonated with you and you're craving more clarity, confidence, and support as you grow, that's exactly why we've created the InvestHer Pods. Pods are a 5-month mentor-led experience for women real estate investors who want clarity, accountability, and consistent support as they grow. You meet twice a month in a small curated group to work through real decisions, real challenges, and real opportunities alongside an expert mentor and women playing at a similar level. If you're ready to grow with support instead of isolation, you can learn more at mentorship.therealestateinvesther.com/pods. And remember, you don't have to build this alone. You don't have to build your business alone. Do something with what you got from today's minisode, and we'll see you next time.
