What No One Tells Women About Estate Planning With Lauren Klein

Talking about money is hard enough. Talking about what happens to it when we're gone, even harder. That's exactly why so many women feel left out, unprepared when it comes to family money, inheritance, and estate planning. My guest today, Lauren Klein, has helped protect billions of dollars in assets as an attorney. In this conversation, we cover so much from how to get started talking about inheritance with your family, why a will alone isn't enough, what estate planning actually means, and how to build the right team to protect what matters most. So women will control nearly 40% of all U.S. wealth within 5 years. But 74% of those expecting to inherit say they're not prepared to handle it. So Lauren, why do you think so many women avoid talking about inheritance until it's too late?

Oh, we're starting off with a bang. I think that's a really— it's a big one. And it's a really timely and important question, I think, and it's very nuanced. I think one of the reasons that as women we often hold off on discussing it is as women, we're often raised to not talk about money, that money is not a topic that is something that we should be discussing, you know, or sharing about, whether it's because of limiting beliefs from our childhood or just how we're raised. It's almost like, don't talk about money, don't talk about politics, don't talk about sex.

But if we're not talking—

the big three. But if we're not talking about our money, we are really holding ourselves back. We're holding ourselves back from earning more, from investing more, from making sure our wealth is protected from an estate planning perspective. So I think that's really why. And I love that you are talking about this in your podcast because it will change the way that women look at money. It really will.

I was at an event recently. UBS has put some great research out there. They, they have various reports they put out called Own Own Your Worth. I'm actually holding it right now. And they put out some research that the stats that I shared with you came from that report. And they said something very interesting. We often think of the great wealth transfer as one major event happening where women are losing potentially a spouse. We know that women outlive men. It's also another major event where, you know, their parents, right, are passing on. And that inheritance is coming potentially from you know, your parents. And what was intriguing of the conversation of this event that I went to was that there's a lot there when it comes to siblings, when it comes to families, when it comes to your parents' will, your parents' wealth, and all of the above, right? It's not just one singular conversation, right, Lauren?

Right.

There's so much there.

There's so much there.

There's so much there, especially when you have siblings and family involved, and especially when people pass away. And so what are those like first few steps? Someone's listening to this. You know, a lot of the women in our community are at the age, right? They're at the sandwich, right? They have kids that are growing, right? High school, college, even a little younger. And then they have the parents that are aging. And these are conversations that need to be happening. But it's a big one, right? So what are you going to be doing? You know, what did you put in your will, mom and dad? It's a big conversation. It's almost a very emotionally driven one, right? So what are some of those first steps that you've counseled your clients on of getting the dialogue going? Because it starts with dialogue, right? What have you seen to be really helpful for women to start the process?

Yeah, it's a really good question. And we're dealing with this every day, every single day. So I think the first step, because these are very emotionally driven conversations, and oftentimes depending on the family dynamic around money, parents and children have never discussed, you know, what, what the parents have. I think the beginning dialogue, and it depends on your family, but in general we've seen a lot of, um, a lot of progress or a lot of, uh, success with, hey mom, hey dad, you know, we are at this phase of our lives where my kids are growing up, you know, you're, you're saying it nicely, of course, but you're aging, and I want to make sure that I'm getting everything together from my perspective, and I want to make sure that everything is together from yours too. Is this something that we can sit down and talk about and discuss, even if it's something we haven't ever done before? And I think kind of framing it as an extension of financial health rather than purely as estate planning is a really great way to approach it because that really is what estate planning is. At the end of the day, it's saying, okay, if, if I become incapacitated, Or if I pass away, or if I need Medicaid, or if my parents need Medicaid, what are we able to do now? What's going to happen? Let's all as a family get an understanding of what would happen if we have nothing, or what would happen if we have maybe kind of a half, halfway done estate plan, or what would happen if we had a really solid estate plan? What would that provide to our family and our legacy that we're all working really hard for? And I think kind of reframing the conversation can be really helpful. And also saying, I can be there with you. We can do this together as a family. We've seen that very, you know, we've seen a lot of success with that as well.

Yeah, right. Rather than just saying, yeah, this is your problem, mom and dad, depending on where, you know, where, where, how much they've done, how much they haven't done. Here's some other very interesting stats. This is in the same report and we'll put this, uh, we'll put, we'll put this report in the, in the show notes. Nearly half of women have not seen their parents' wills. And only 1/3 do not know where their family accounts are held. So there's a lot of unknown happening, and that's, that's scary, right? So I love what you just said. Estate planning is not about death, it's about direction. I'm gonna say that again. Estate planning is not about death, it's about direction. So describe for us, when it comes to quote unquote estate planning, what are key pieces of that? Planning that should be happening so that these conversations can lead towards an actual plan and a kind of a, like I said, direction, not just uncertainty?

Yeah, yeah. So, so the first step, and this is I think really kind of along that same theme of this is, this is really life planning, is knowing, like you said, where, where is everything? Where are the assets? Where, where's all the stuff? You know, getting that together. And if you have a great financial advisor, this is a great way to begin the collaboration process between a great trust and estates attorney and your advisor, because your advisor is already going to have a lot of this information and they can kind of do some of that heavy lifting for you. But getting together a list somewhere in a digital space of where are the bank accounts, where are the brokerage accounts, where are the pensions, where are the IRAs, if mom and dad have cryptocurrency, where's the cryptocurrency and all of the things that go along with that, real estate, mortgage documents, deeds. In Florida, we can look up deeds very easily, but not so in other jurisdictions. Where is everything? And where are— if there are estate planning documents, where are they located? And can we maybe, you know, digitize them and scan them in so we all have copies of those documents? And especially with the will, where is the original? That's really step one. It's kind of like playing detective and making sure that you have everything in one place, and then you can go from there. But that's, that's the beginning of any good financial or really estate plan, or the portion of your financial plan that deals with legacy.

So to get really technical, 'cause we do use that term a lot, we hear estate planning, estate planning. But if you polled, you know, 5 different people, and now we're talking about 5 different women, we probably all define that a little differently. So is it, it obviously includes your parents and/or your spouse, right? 'Cause you know, when we talk about inheritance, right, there's 2 events, but let's talk about the parents for the time being, it's their will, it's their bank accounts. It's really where, like you're saying, where are all their assets? Not where, but getting kind of organization around all of that. And then the planning part happens, like, okay, what's going to happen to those? And that's all usually spelled out in a will, correct? So is really estate planning, you're having a will in place, or is there more than that? Like, that's something that pops up for me.

So to me, estate planning is basically what you have and then the legal documents that say where it goes and how it goes to the individuals. So, okay, we talked about step 1, really getting an idea of where all the assets are. Step 2 is what happens to those assets. How are they getting to the beneficiaries, whether it's surviving spouse, children, grandchildren, other individuals? That's where the, the documents that comprise an estate plan come in. So the main documents that deal with the administration or distribution of assets are going to be a revocable trust and a last will and testament. So a lot of clients who have existing estate plans will come to us and all they have is a will. And they often don't realize that a will does not avoid probate. And it varies state to state, the probate process. But essentially the probate process is in a nutshell, if I own, let's say, a bank account in my individual name, there's no joint account holder, I haven't designated a beneficiary, I haven't moved it into a trust and I pass away because that account is in my individual name. In order for it to get from me, who's now passed away, to my beneficiaries, a court process has to be opened up called a probate administration. And so a lot of what estate planning does is actually avoid that entire probate administration process. So this is where the education really starts to come in. Okay, we've, we've figured out our assets. Now what happens to those assets? If you don't have an estate plan at all, then you're known as being intestate. So if you don't have a will, you don't have a trust, you're known as intestate, meaning the state of the— of the laws of the state where you reside determine who gets your assets, typically surviving spouse, then children, then grandchildren, and so on and so forth. You don't have any children, then up to your parents. That's, that's kind of like the general scheme. It varies by state. And so if you— let's say you have a will, so you've said who gets your items, then instead you are testate, meaning you've told the state who's going to get your items, but it still has to go through that court process. And a lot of people don't realize that. And usually when we're having conversations like this, whether with potential clients or just in education, like at a seminar, people are like, whoa, I had no idea that a will didn't avoid that. I didn't know that.

That's actually a really good point. So the will the will specifies who in essence will, will get it. But because you don't— what's the— so, so what's the next step that they're not doing? It's the trust, is that what you're saying?

So it depends. So for some clients, for most clients, it's going to be setting up a revocable trust. That's kind of like the foundational document. You can get fancier with irrevocable trust planning, but we'll put that to the side. Revocable trusts are kind of the most common way to avoid probate. We think of it like a backpack. You can move bank accounts, brokerage accounts, real estate into the trust. Or if you have, say, an IRA or some other retirement account, you can't move that into a trust, but you could potentially name the trust as a beneficiary. So the revocable trust, or a trust, is one way to avoid probate, but it's not the only way. Um, for some clients, maybe they say, I don't really care about a trust, I don't care if everyone just gets assets to have in their family and to pass on to the generation, the next generation.

And then if you don't have that protected and clearly laid out of who and how, all that hard work, right? All the sacrifice ends up really going down the drain, which is we know the sacrifice 'cause we're in it, but our parents have also sacrificed. Our parents have also have free and clear homes or those sort of things. And some of them have additional property. It's really helpful to understand that estate planning goes well beyond the will. I think that's a really helpful point. In terms of, of, you know, I get, I get the, I get probate because it's— is it, is it created equal of all, all different kind of like states, if you will? Is it, does it have like, does it happen a similar way and meaning that probate's better or worse in some states or some regions, or is it really just probate's probate and, and regardless of the state that you're in? I'm just out of curiosity?

It depends on the state how long it takes and how kind of arduous the process is. In Florida, it tends to take a long time. In the Northeast states, it can be a little bit quicker, but it's still something that is usually fairly easy to avoid. It's a frustrating process. We deal with it all the time, not with our clients. We always say we hope our clients never go through a probate, but we open a lot of probate administrations and we hold hands, and it's It's just— it's— there's no other word than frustrating to describe the process because you're grieving the loss of a loved one. Meanwhile, you're trying to figure out who's going to pay the expenses, who's going to do this, who's going to do that, while you're waiting for judges to review things and sign off on orders and, you know, nitpicking on little things here and there that they send back to you. And it's just— it's just not— it's not fun. It's very frustrating. It really is.

So— so it's important then to have an estate an estate planning attorney in the state that what you live in, that you reside in, or, and/or your assets. So say I live in Florida, but I also have— that's what happens a lot, right? People have properties in a lot of different regions and areas or even internationally. Is both important? Does it really just matter if you have an estate planning attorney that specializes in the area that you reside and/or your parents reside? Obviously.

Yeah, it's a great question. So you're going to want your main player, your main estate planning attorney to be in the state where you reside. Okay, if you have real estate in other jurisdictions, especially when it comes to real estate specifically, you're going to want your main player to then bring in other people. So let's say I live in Florida, but I have, you know, a house in upstate New York. I want to make sure that I consult an attorney, a qualified estate planning attorney in New York to make sure that they can probably move it into the trust or whatever it is that they recommend. We do that all the time. And what's nice is if, let's say you're in Florida, your Florida trust can own real estate all over the country and all over the world. Obviously, if it's international, there's different rules and considerations, but Florida, you know, in this example, in this hypo, is going to be the jurisdiction where the trust resides, and then you can just continue to add it. So let's say you have a real estate portfolio all over the country. You'll have one main trust typically. Obviously, the more complicated it gets, you can start to get fancier, but for simplicity's sake and for conversation's sake, you can just really keep adding to that one trust. So it's not that complicated. We always overcomplicate things, or I, I tend to overcomplicate things. Um, so it's really not that complicated. It's just understanding and finding someone who's really good to assist you.

And that's the key, right? I know we chatted about this as we were, uh, first connected here. It's about a team. So you have this, you have the attorney who, who specializes in estate planning. Who else should be part of their team? Especially again, you know, going down the path of getting insight into your parents' inheritance. And then let's— that's, that's like phase one, right? Phase two is your parents pass away, and now it's a matter of executing what the plan was and what, what their, their intentions were, as well as, you know, uh, distributing assets and, and money and all the above, which, which is what we're very heavily, you know, uh, invested in, is that women take control of that, of their money and their financial future. And real estate's obviously one great asset class to consider. So Lauren, you just said something really, really important is, you know, having the additional team, the people around you, the experts around you that are critical in this process. Obviously you have the attorney, estate planning attorney that resides in the state you know, your parents and/or you reside in, who else should be part of their team as they're really getting to the bottom of what the will looks like and what their parents' wishes are? All of the above. Who else should they have on that team?

So I think the other key members on the team often will include, you know, if mom and dad have a financial advisor, have the estate planning attorney build the relationship with that advisor now. you know, during, during life, during life, and when everyone has capacity and is happy, that's the best time to build the relationships. And I would say that if you start to notice that someone on that team, you know, estate planning attorney, financial advisor, CPA is also a really big one. If you, if you're a real estate investor, then if you have, you know, your realtor is a, is another great team member as well. If you start to notice that anyone on that team isn't really willing to collaborate or take advice well from the, you know, everyone has their wheelhouses, right? That might be a sign that, hey, maybe we should revisit this now, you know, because what often happens is the team that's in place while mom and dad are alive or while spouses are alive, oftentimes, not always, but oftentimes is the team that continues on. And I'll say we've seen this a lot in our work where maybe we have a couple kind of going back to that level and maybe it was the husband, you know, that had chosen the financial advisor and had kind of worked with that advisor. We often see if the husband predeceases, if the surviving spouse is a wife and she doesn't feel like that advisor is listening to her and explaining or giving options and rather just kind of talking to her and at her, we often see surviving spouses switching advisors at that point in time because they want to feel respected and seen and heard and understood. So I would say those are the core: the estate planning attorney, the financial advisor, the CPA or accountant, and, and if you're a real estate investor, investor, also having your real estate professionals on the team and making sure that they're all talking because you have, obviously, you have your estate planning, which we've kind of, you know, kind of covered already. Then you have your financial advisor who's making sure you're tax efficient and your wealth is growing and everything is in the right bucket that it should be in and that you have a plan going forward, which ties into your estate planning. You know, we love to meet with the advisor because then we can make sure that we retitle the assets as is appropriate to do so. And then the CPA is like, okay, well, we need to, we need to make sure we're filing the tax returns properly and we're being also being tax efficient. And the advisor is going to know a lot more oftentimes than the CPA will. So communicating is really helpful. And then if you have a business, also the bookkeeper, I would say is— I think bookkeepers don't seem sexy, but they're such a key player when it comes to making sure you have clean books. That can't be overlooked as well.

We just went through this process in a few months ago. We had our for our Strive mentees, we did a 4-week training about where are their numbers, where is their— what's working, what's not working on the properties that they own? Because a lot of the women in our group have 5+ properties. And what was fascinating was that part of the process was just getting accurate numbers, right? Because it's really hard for me to answer, okay, XYZ property, How is it doing if I don't have accurate numbers? And it seems so obvious, but women are moving very quickly. They have a lot on their plate and that gets sometimes missed, as well as anyone that has property. It's not just a stock, right? Is it up? Is it down? Is it, you know, real estate's a little more intricate, right? There's a lot of moving parts. It's not just as like one quick number you can look at. You could be cash flowing, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's an optimized asset, right? These are all things that matter. So I can't stress that enough, having a bookkeeper, that is critical for your own portfolio. But certainly, if it is something where your parents are, have a business and they, businesses and property, the bookkeeper, especially at that point, could be very helpful in getting the books in order.

Yeah.

And even getting clear on asset, you know, assets, whether they should be sold or kept at this point before, when they're alive, I can't stress that enough. We see women doing that in their 30s, 40s, and 50s and 60s, let alone the conversation with parents, right? That are really, you know, trying to preserve their wealth, protect their wealth and pass it along. So big, big fan of bookkeepers.

Yeah, me too. And two things that kind of popped into my head as you were talking, Liz, also making sure your tax professional understands real estate investing. Yeah, I actually chose my, my most recent CPA because he is a real estate investor as well. And so I know that he knows the ins and outs. He understands 1031 exchanges, which defer your income tax if you're, you know, buying another real estate investment property with the proceeds, as long as you meet all the, you know, the ramifications. And then the other person on the team is either making sure you have a good estate planning attorney who's also understanding of the business side of things, you know, because you want to make sure you're having everything structured properly and the right entities. That's really important. So, you know, because a lot of people don't realize, one, that you can own properties through different entity structures like a holding company with underlying LLCs, for example. And also a lot of people don't realize that LLCs are oftentimes probate assets. So you need to make sure that that is aligned with your estate plan as well. We sometimes just think about bank accounts and brokerage accounts and things like that. but business entities can go through probate. So if you have a real estate portfolio that's not probate-proof, it's going to be a very expensive probate, even more so than someone who doesn't have a big real estate portfolio.

And I would imagine too, that's a great point. I would imagine it's really critical because I do this for my own portfolio, is having strategic conversations with your team, if you will. Um, and, and certainly, you know, if you're in real estate and you have property, having an accountant that is that knows real estate to the T is critical. It's not even like a nice to have, it's critical, it's a necessity. Certain CPAs and accountants will steer you in such a wrong direction if they don't have the real estate kind of acumen. So that is critical. The key though, when you're pulling this team together, especially coming back to the inheritance conversation, is, you know, what's important to, and I wanna go back to having these conversations now when you, like you're saying, your parents, and spouse, if you have one, are alive. What's important to them? What do they value? What do they want their legacy to look like, right? Because obviously these are the questions I'm sure you guys, as leading the estate planning, go into. These are the questions to have, you know, with your parents so their legacy is, is continued. Uh, not just the money that they're— that you'll be inheriting, and then what, what do you do with that, right? What's the right asset allocation and investments? And that's why we've certainly have InvestHer community to help you have other like-minded women making some of those decisions. But more importantly too, it's about, you know, just really fulfilling the legacy. So what are some of those questions or some of those kind of those, those, the, you, where you've seen the, the, the parents, the, the, their children actually talk about? Cuz that, that's hard to just put in writing like, oh yeah, just, Donate a portion to this organization. Okay, great. But getting in a conversation, and I don't think everyone has gotten into a conversation of what do their parents actually value to a specific way. So what have you seen?

So I mean, if it comes to like a real estate portfolio or a closely held family business, I think a really important— let's start with the real estate portfolio. I think it's really important to know, okay, what's going to happen to this portfolio? Let's say there's 3 siblings and let's say maybe one of the siblings has been involved. And the other two just, they haven't, they're, they're physicians, or they're, they're doing something else with their lives. What's going to happen? Is it all, is it going to go to all three? Does that make the most sense? Who's going to run the family business? You know, what are the values of the business going forward? I think that's a really important conversation that a lot of people are either they don't think to have it or they're scared to have it. But the reality is, if you outline everything clearly, like, for example, a lot of the times we'll see, okay, one child is going to inherit the business, and then the other children are going to be compensated, for lack of a better word, with other inheritance. Maybe they're going to receive liquid assets or brokerage accounts, you know, or something else to make up the difference because they just don't have an interest in running the business. Rather than now, okay, we have 3 owners of this real estate portfolio, 2 have no idea what's going on, zero interest, and but there's, there's equal ownership. How is that going to work? What if they don't agree? You know, are there operating agreements in place that say if they don't agree, what happens? Maybe, maybe there's— maybe no one's interested in the business and the will and the trust say that the real estate portfolio will be sold. You know, that's, that's something we see as well. Or maybe it's a vacation home. What's going to happen? Who's going to— are they going to have a timesharing agreement? You know, these are the questions that a really good, experienced trust and estates lawyer will ask. It's not that there's any right or wrong answer. It's just getting the clients, the parents, the children thinking, okay, what do we actually want. While everyone's alive, while everyone's happy, while we can have discussions. Yes, maybe there's some animosity or emotions. Good, then have the conversations now, rather than when mom and dad are gone, because it gets way harder at that point in time. And it gets a lot more acrimonious and even potentially litigious at that point. And no one wants litigation over a trust or probate. It's so expensive. No one wins, except the lawyers, like the old joke goes.

Right.

So really, really important questions. And what are, like you said, what are the values? I think we don't talk about that enough. What does the family care about? What is the family history? What is the meaning of everything that the family has built? Those conversations are really important too.

I think there's some level of, and I was having this conversation with my father, my parents are in their late 70s. And able-bodied mentally, physically, although both of them got surgeries recently. My mom fell, my dad was cutting wood, but regardless of those things, right, they're very able-bodied. They're very, and they have done a lot of this work and we have the paperwork, we have everything very organized and they keep giving us updates. Like they're on top of it and I'm grateful for that. But even just the conversation of, you know, they can say what they want in their funeral, but my, We went to a funeral recently and I was driving with my father and I turned to him and I said, "Beyond what you've written down, if you had to say there was one thing that you would want to happen after your funeral or during your funeral, what would it be?" And he just looked at me and he's like, "Why are we talking about this?" I said, "Well, you can't talk about this when you pass away. So I wanna ask you, I wanna know." And he said, "Listen, I know my house is small. I know that a lot of people are gonna come hopefully." So I don't care, have the after party or the after meal at my house. I don't care if you have to rent a tent. I don't care if people are outside. I want it at my house. That would mean so much to me. So that was probably written and I probably read that somewhere, but I told my sisters that. I said, do you know how important this is for dad? They're like, no, we didn't know how important. And it's just that conversation. So that's just one small thing in the mix of it all. I just say that because people could have written down plans, but life is in seasons, right? There's things ebb, they flow, and we can't write down every single thing that's coming up for us in a moment right before we pass away. I don't know if anyone can. So talking to your family and having various conversations like this, I think are healthy. And he looked at me, he's like, "Thanks for asking me that." I said, "Yeah, it's hard to ask you." But these are things that are going to happen and we have to all be prepared, right? So I know I'm sure you've seen that happen with, with, with, with families, but those are the things that need to get discussed.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And the emotional side is, and the legacy side and the values is, it's, it's what everything stems from, you know, I mean, money and everything is important and the way it transfers, we want it to be efficient. But what do we what we value about our family and how our, you know, family origin stories and things like that are really cool. And what we want to happen, you know, after the fact is really important. And ask, you know, if you're looking for the estate planning attorney you want to work with, say, do you have anything, you know, any sort of memorandum where I can fill out something that lays out my wishes? And having the conversations too. But beyond just, okay, I want to be buried here, I want to be cremated, or I want my ashes spread, like, that can go in a will, but you can also write down a lot more. I think that's, that's really great that you had that conversation, and that's a really good point.

Yeah, and it evolves, right? Uh, and it's continually evolving. It's not something we want to talk about every day, but it is something to, to bring up with, with your loved ones. Um, so helpful, Lauren. You know, I think the key here, right, is to take action. For everyone listening, if, if you— even if you have a will, even if your parents have a will, have you seen it? Are you clear? Um, and, and get this team together. I think one of the best things that, as a result of today's episode with you, is ensure you're talking— these folks are talking, the financial planner, the, the, the accountant. Are these folks connected and talking before your parents pass away? I think that's a great point. Even just— they don't have to talk every week, That's weird. But even on like a twice a year or once a year, right, you know, concept, depending on how extensive we're talking, I would think strategic conversations so everyone's on the same page and there's no uncertainty for the family that is reviewing everything is critical. So do something with what you got here today. Lauren, thank you so much for this, for sharing your wisdom and insight. Where can everyone listening learn more about you and get connected, because I'm sure they're going to have tons of follow-up questions.

Thank you, Liz. This has been great. So everyone can connect with me either on our website, flourishlawgroup.com. We have a Contact Us button there. Feel free to shoot me a message. We are only licensed in Florida, but we have a network of great trust and estates attorneys across the country. So always happy to help connect you to someone where you're located if you're not here in Florida or another person in Florida. It's like dating. You got to find the right, the right match. And I'm also very active on Instagram @lawyerlaurenkline and @flourishlawgroup. Reach out, send me a DM. I'd love to connect, answer any questions that came up. And this has been really, really great.

Yeah. Thank you, Lauren. And just a quick plug for InvestorCon coming up June 14th to the 16th in Scottsdale, 2026, of course, in Scottsdale, Arizona, where it's our annual conference 2.5 days, and one of our breakout sessions is about estate planning as well. So again, we're continuing the conversation of, are women preserving their wealth? Are they protecting their wealth and being able to pass it along? That's critical. So that is something a lot of women want more of, and that's why we have an exciting breakout. Well, I think it's exciting, 'cause the more prepared you are, the better you're able to build wealth. Lauren, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for your, your expertise. And, uh, everyone listening, do something with what you got today. Take one action step so you can continue to take control of your financial future and, and build wealth on your own terms. Thanks so much for listening.