Why Life Transitions Matter to Long-Term Financial Success With Lacy Garcia

In today's episode, we have Lacey Garcia. She is the CEO and founder of Willow Trust. She's also a former wealth manager. And in today's episode, we're gonna break down women's financial wellness during transition times and a clear framework that you can follow. Let's get to work. Major life transitions such as becoming a caregiver of your parents, going through a divorce or a career change it affects drastically our financial decisions. However, those are rarely taken in consideration in the quote-unquote financial, traditional financial planning world. Lacey, why is that?

Wonderful to be with you here today, Andresa. Thank you so much to you and to Liz and to the InvestHer community. Such a big admirer of what you're building and the women that are here as part of this community and listening today. So let's start with the simple fact. The financial services industry was not built for the women that are leading the way and paving the path to the future, effectively the new face of wealth, right? It was built, all these models, these tools, these plans were built around one man kind of going to work and working consistently throughout his life and not going through any of these transitions such as needing to take time away from the workforce for caregiving, for having children. Let's talk about obviously the rise of divorce, right? And all these different transitions which clearly very much impact your wealth and the financial plan that you need around it. And so one of the things we like to say at Willow is it's not just about that you need an advisor to help you to grow your wealth, but you need an advisor to help you transition these tricky, challenging, emotional, joyful moments and transitions and different life stages so that you are able to not only grow that wealth, but make it work for you so that you can get through that stage and then get to the next stage in life.

Absolutely. I, as someone who has gone through a divorce, it's very lonely and it's a new path. You don't know what you don't know, right? Until it's just like in front, in front of you. And, um, you feel the effect on my emotion looking back right now, right? The effect on my emotion state was super high. And I don't believe later on, yes, but I don't believe I received the proper care from myself and from the advisors that I have around me, taking consideration that piece. That being said, right, I'm not their ideal client. I'm not the— I was not the face of wealth for them. So how do you connect the emotional health piece with, with health itself?

I hear you and I feel you on that as somebody who also went through a very challenging divorce. Which was incredibly difficult emotionally. And quite frankly, I'm like almost 8 years out and it still can be, right? It's still— I, if you're co-parenting, doesn't mean that all— some people it's like, oh, it's so much better. Sometimes you struggle, you know, you're not alone if it still feels lonely, right? So I don't know about that, right?

Uh, of course in certain areas great, but it's still— let's be honest, just thousands of women there listening. Give me a high five here because let's be honest, only people that have gone through knows what we are talking about here and it takes years. So thank you, Lacey, for really humanizing that process for all of us.

Well, trust me, I'm still in it. I mean, I'm going back to court again this week. I mean, I gotta tell you all the layers, all the layers.

Oh God.

And I'm sorry to say, but just hats off to anyone who's really on the other side of it, but so many of us are not, right? And you are, and you're making it work, and you're awesome and thriving, and so many things are better off, but it still can be not only emotionally challenging, but financially challenging, right? So you're not alone. And I mean, one thing, I know this doesn't directly answer your question, but just, you know, there's this new stat that's really kind of a wake-up call for me, is that, you know, 'cause one of the things I felt so alone, 'cause I got divorced relatively early with a child, which, and everybody was like still getting married, you know? And I'm like, here I am, wait a second, on this path. Like, I feel like I got off the track. Like, here's the life, and then all of a sudden it's like, oh, I'm on this parallel, this other track, which I'm not sure it's parallel. I'm not sure it's going backwards, forwards, where it's going, right? So with this though, there's this staggering statistic that by 2030, I think 45% of all women aged 22 to like 44, 45 are going to be single, remain single by choice, you know, or to be divorced. And we think of all these other things. 45% of women are the— at least the co-breadwinner, and if not, the— like, we're close to 30%, I think, of the primary breadwinner. So it's like the world is changing, right? And this other track is often becoming sort of maybe the main track kind of moving forward, right? But I do think one of the things with, um, how we— I think you asked me initially sort of How do we help women? How do we approach that? So first things first, it's about financial wellness does not come without self-awareness, self-care, and grace, right? Giving yourself grace and raising your hand and asking for help. But it's so critical that the people that you ask for help don't make you feel worse, which was my experience and why I started TrustWillo.com. They made me feel worse, right? They didn't— and what we say and what we believe is that the person that you call on for your financial advice should lead with empathy. They should be educating you and they should be empowering you, right? So they should be aware of not just the financial ramifications, but the emotional and the life ramifications of a transition like a divorce and all that's embedded in that. Finances are super emotional, right? And if we're not addressing the emotions and supporting, you're not gonna be in a place to be able to actually help somebody to then kind of get through it and achieve their financial dreams.

I've, I've seen so many research showing the, the new face of wealth, right? Uh, and the transfer of wealth that is happening until 2030. And beyond, right? Beyond. For different reasons, women are outliving men. That's one thing. And usually the main point of contact is the spouse, the men in the relationship. So when they passed, women are so confused. And I recently saw another research. I forgot the percentage, but it's a very high percentage that women Don't keep that same financial advisor because she doesn't have any relationship with the person. They don't know each other. And she's like, might as well go somewhere else. So for the women that are listening and they are not going through a transitional situation at this moment, because I don't want to— one thing that I want to make sure is that you don't have to be in the trenches. In order for you to take, take action. Uh, I'm all about offense, right? You are looking ahead because when something happens, something happened and you're not prepared to it. So do you think that there's this myth about financial planning that is, uh, only if I have piles and piles sitting down and this is more like a retirement type of deal, Like, I wanna, I wanna debunk all of that and make financial planning a common language about women. So what would be the first step for somebody that is looking to it, but it might be in a situation that they actually not sure if they are a good fit to have a financial planner?

That mindset that you just described is the majority. Actually, of women. I mean, we see there's about $16 trillion of wealth that's controlled by women that's in motion that's unmanaged, meaning that nobody's advising on it right now or nobody's helping them invest. Um, so, so you're not alone if you're feeling that way. I like to think that every woman should think of themselves as single when it comes to their finances. By the way, that is not coming from a place of somebody who's anti-marriage. I'm very pro-marriage. I'm very pro-partnership. And, you know, I was— I am the product of a— my parents were married until my mom's death, over, you know, were together for 58 years, right? I'm like, I'm a big proponent in partnership, but I'm also myself divorced and single, and I know the reality. And so when it comes down to it though, regardless of whether or not you're happily coupled or you're fighting it alone, you know, You really need to be in control. And that starts with like self-awareness and knowledge. And in all honesty, there are so many— there's such a wide range of financial advisors out there who work with such a wide range of folks that there's even— there's programs to help you if you're in serious debt and you need tons of help. There are people who can help you with that, right? And if you only have a little bit of money, there are people that can help you with that. And if you have obviously millions of dollars or trillions of dollars, like, you know, there's sophisticated people who can certainly help you build billions probably. Or trillions are an institution, right? But that said, so I think that that's one of the first things. First is like, sit here, maybe just take a minute and ask yourself, okay, do I feel like I have an understanding of my situation? Um, if not, do I feel like I have a trusted advisor? Do I— if, if it's my husband's advisor, do I feel comfortable? Do I feel like I can get a seat at the table with him? If not, and if not, like You got to do something about that. If you're— and maybe you have an advisor, you're single, but you don't feel like you have— you can't trust that person. You don't feel like they're a real partner that you feel comfortable, you can let down your guard. Because guess what? All the concerns, all the fears, all the insecurities, all the stupid questions— you need to be going to that person with those. They need— that's where you need the help, right?

I love that. What I wish I had was this, like, somebody come to me and say, Here's your transition plan framework.

Yes.

Step by step on what you need to do in order for you to be aware, first of all. So let's—

We built that at Willow, by the way. I know.

Because I said, God, that's what we want. Please let us know what we have. So let's talk about that. How does that look like? How do— when we look at this framework, where do we even get started?

First is awareness. Like, number one, have a conversation with yourself. Sit down, take some notes, think about it. Like, do I know how much my life costs? Money coming in, money going out. If you don't, wrap your head around it, right? And then next is aspire. So it's aware, aspire. Okay, what is it that you want to achieve? What are your financial goals? What is it— your life goals? Write those down. Third, is act. Okay, so how do we act? I feel like a complete disaster, I need help. Um, you need to then get in touch with and start having conversations, start interviewing, start finding the right trusted advisor to help you. Fourth is adapt. Once you get that plan going, because the only thing we can count on is that we cannot—

that we—

the curveballs will come. You know, you might be, I'm crushing it, I've just, you know, sold my company for X millions of dollars, I'm like on top of the world, and then whoa, something horrible happens that just knocks you on your socks, right? And maybe it's, maybe it's just a life event, but, but really gets in the way of your finances. Maybe it's a financial event, whatever it is, but it's, it's going to come. So you need to make sure that you've got that, as simple as that, cash cushion, that emergency fund, that like plan for like, okay, if things go wrong or something changes I'm going to be able to adapt. And then the fifth one is appreciate where you really just need to give yourself a moment. Because whether or not you're— if you're totally crushing it, like, you go, girl. You deserve so many high fives. And share your stories and inspire your friends and help us to get to where you are. But if it's only baby steps and you manage to put away a little bit of money and you're in the midst of all this stuff, you know, take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back. So we call it the 5A model, but it's really awareness, aspire, act, adapt, and appreciate. And it sounds simple, and there's no finances or numbers involved in that, but trust me, it's a basis for how you can get control of your financial situation and get to that path of financial wellness, financial freedom, financial strength.

Absolutely, because sometimes it's a shock, right? Let's say a spouse had an accident or your, your parents' health just declined and you need to, to change things quick. So giving, giving ourselves that time to just sit and think, it's, it's, it's very crucial. What have you seen? You work with so many women. What have you seen like top mistakes or things and you're like, well, take a breath versus just going to an act out of an emotion or an impulse. What have you seen out there?

So with women, we have a tendency not to act. That's the, that's the main thing that I've seen, to be honest, is that inaction, is that I, I don't have time for it. Everything else is more important. You know, prioritizing my job, my company, you know, my real estate investments. My family, my children, you know, whatever it is. So we have a tendency just to push things off and to not act. What does that mean? That means to not start investing early, down to simple things like not make sure that we are, you know, we have automatic withdrawals from our bank accounts so that we're making money, but some of it is automatically going into savings, and we know that's automatically going into our investment accounts, things like that. So I think that that's actually the number one thing. I think women have a tendency— and there's tons of research out there about how women tend to make better investors because we have more of a risk-aware and a long-term vision and all these other things that come from a tendency to be more thoughtful, to want to be more knowledgeable, to want to do more due diligence. And so when we feel like we don't have the time to do it properly, we just don't get going. So I think that's the biggest challenge I see. And because not getting in the game you're missing out far more, right? You know, I mean, the other thing is I do think that people— I do think women, and I think women are smart about this, they tend to be more advisor-dependent. They tend to trust and listen to their financial advisor if they have an advisor. Because the thing is, I think a lot of people can get themselves into trouble when they're just like seeing something, they hear about an investment or strategy. You know, there's amazing— we have these influencers these days who are giving investment advice out to the public, right? And like, it is— maybe that's a great recommendation for somebody who has this Type A financial situation, but it doesn't mean it's a good one for you, right? So I really think you should be working one-on-one with a fiduciary, trusted financial advisor who is knowledgeable about your situation and can make the best recommendations. Specific to what your, you know, how much money you have, what your goals are, what strategies you're comfortable with.

I wanna talk a little bit about assumptions because many times I, in my situation, right, I use all the mistakes that I've made in the past to shine the light to women that are coming, right? Either if you have, you are in a healthy relationship or not, Really understanding and not assuming. What do I mean more specifically about that is, for example, when it came down to certain parts of our investments, I was not the main leader. So I assumed a lot of things. And then after my divorce, I was like, wait a minute, what are you talking about? I'll give you a very specific example. And I was pissed, not at him, not at our financial advisor, and myself because I'm like, why didn't I take charge? Not charge, but was aware of it and made this a conscious decision of it. I'm talking about, um, life insurance. I was paying for one individual only, not me. My household was paying a high price to one individual only. And I'm like, what is going on here? And I was just a very small, minimal amount, totally unfair. And I was like, how the hell did that happen? So for the women that are listening, I encourage you to have those conversations. And that's the part that I want to ask you, Lacey, how to have those conversations because many women might feel that if they bring that up to a spouse, they might be thinking, what, are you looking to divorce me? What's wrong? Or what it is. What would you recommend that conversation to go?

Yeah, I'm going to— and this is broad and general advice because I'm like, I have definite like recommendations and there's best practices about how to approach it, but I'm like, put it with a grain of salt is I'm divorced. Exactly. And a lot of women who are taking— like, not all, not all, but, you know, the breadwinners have a higher tendency to get divorced, right? Some of these things. But I think it's about sort of mutual respect, right? And before you approach any— if you're going to approach a conversation or a negotiation in your business life, right? You're going to be thoughtful and strategic about it. So I think in our personal lives, particularly in our romantic kind of marriages, we speak, we act, we lead with emotion versus being kind of thoughtful and strategic about it. So I think with this is, this is a big conversation, and just like it's emotional for you, it's also emotional for him or they or whoever you are having this conversation with. So I would say first by start taking a step back and looking at it from their perspective. Okay, what's going to make this a win? You know, like, what is it? How do I make this about, like, I, you know, I'm going to come into this conversation, you know, best practice is not saying, like, you make me feel this way, but instead, I need these things because I think that that will enable me. Like, I'd say, I think that I could be more helpful if I were more knowledgeable, and you know what I want? Is what's best for us is, you know, some of those things, some of those language, I think some of the things that you would do if you're thinking like, how do I be smart and strategic in, you know, a business conversation, negotiation, and interview, like bring some of that to this conversation, right? So that it's not just like emotional and it's not coming from a place, a lot of times, like, you know, we're coming from like, I feel like you leave me out, or like, why haven't you done this? Like the blame, the ac— You're coming in with blame. You're coming up with accusation. You're making somebody feel like— or like they're just going to be— and I think realistically, if we're talking about, obviously, if we're talking about men in like a heterosexual female, male, like a lot of men these days are feeling really insecure and unsuccessful and that they're being emasculated, right? And that's a real thing. That's a very real thing. And I think if you don't want the outcome just to be like a negative one, if you see the potential for that situation, then I think you just have to take that into account and think about how best you can approach it in a way that can be a win-win versus just like, I want this, you don't give me this, I want this. How do we turn it not into a zero-sum negotiation, but a win-win negotiation?

Absolutely. And I think that with the work that we are doing, it's normalizing those conversations.

100%.

Right? That, that's the ultimate goal. How can we normalize that? And that becomes not like, oh, let's talk about our finances. No, we have our strategically monthly or quarter, whatever that works for you and for your family, but really normalizing those conversations. Because if you have children, they are watching it as well. And they're going to model that versus, oh, this is a taboo. We don't talk about money when we're on the table or, or whatever that, that might be. I think that's the ultimate goal for all the women that are listening to normalize it because that's how I think it should be regardless of if you are in a healthy marriage or not, or whatever the situation is with your caregivers, depending on their, then it's another layer, right? You're a caregiver for your parents. Now you're going to get into your parents' businesses and finances and Existing or non-existent, all the above, and having conversations with siblings about that. Oh God. Like my grandmother had Alzheimer's for 10 years. So it's a toll in an entire family. And we need to talk about what is and what it's not and what's going to be as well. And that might change, right? So I think that really you nailed the head when you were talking about your financial advisor is going to look at you as a unique situation versus, well, we have vanilla and chocolate to sell, which one do you want? Simple, simple as that. It's a transition, I feel. And I think women are stepping into the arena more to take control of their financial future, and I love it.

No, they totally are. I mean, it is, it is real. I think And these conversations need to become mainstream. They can't be taboo. Like, I recently was triggered by seeing something that popped up, like, on an ad that was like, don't talk to your children about money. And I'm like, what? What are you talking about? Have healthy conversations with your children about money. Like, you know, don't share— it was like, don't share financial stress. And I'm like, it's actually OK in a very healthy way to talk about, like, to talk about, you know, oh, you know, I'm working really hard. You know, we want to do this, we can't afford it, or we're not going to do this because of these reasons. Like, it's really healthy to share, right, and to normalize it. And just like, you know, and honestly, if you're someone who's not married yet, you're getting married, I'm like, I think a prenup is the best way to have like a super healthy conversation around your finances and find out like, are we— like, it's about like, how do we make sure that we're like true partners on this financial journey together? Because That can be one of the most powerful, like, ingredients for a successful marriage, a successful partnership, a successful relationship. You know, whereas if you don't have those conversations until you're like stressed, it's late at night, you're pissed off about the dishwasher or like whatever else happened, and then it just is— it starts as a fight. And by the way, you should feel it is your right to be to be knowledgeable, to be in control. And that's one of the reasons why I say and I advocate so strongly for women not just abdicating control and assuming. Because Andresa, I was with you. I just trusted, you know, I was raised traditional Cuban American family. You know what I'm saying? There's certain things that like, you know, I'm not supposed to be responsible for that. But now it's like, guess what? You need to be responsible for knowing, for understanding, for having that ability, that financial— enough financial kind of control that you can advocate for yourself, right? You can do what's best for you. You can do what's best for your children. You know, and I think that that's a— it's a very— it's changed rapidly, and especially even in the last two decades, it's changed so rapidly. And yes, we are seeing, I mean, Gen Z women, 77% of Gen Z women are already investing. I mean, amazing. It is amazing.

It really is. We are, we are watching the, the women that are coming to our platform and is changing to a younger generation too. Um, majority of, of our, the women that come to Investor are between 35 and 44, 45. The second it's 25 years old. I'm like, I love it so much. And I think that the ultimate goal here, people say, oh, we are breaking cycles. I believe we are initiating a new cycle when we make financial conversations normal, normal practice. And it's, if we continue surrounding ourselves with other women that are just making it normal, you will become normal. And then, and that's, that's the world that I really want to see in the future, that we have normal conversations about our finances and different types of investments on a coffee shop. I want to hear women talking about different flavors of ice cream in terms of investing that they are curious about, that they're investing, getting returns, and like really, really feeling good about playing the arena. I have so many more questions, Lacey, for you.

We can continue here.

And I'm sure the women that are listening are eager to know more. About you, so where, where they can find more information about you and your company.

Yes, come to trustwillow.com. And what we do is we help women, especially with a focus too on millennial and Gen Z women. So the group that you're talking about and working with, the InvestHer community, to take the step in becoming financially knowledgeable empowered through connecting you for— it's a free service, by the way, free service. But we will help you to get matched with a financial advisor who has been through our Advisor for Women certificate program, where we have trained them, we have coached them, we have vetted them, we have made sure that they are leading with empathy, they're going to educate you in a way that empowers you, that they're fiduciary, that they're, they're passionate about working with you and serving you. And so that is, you know, it's easy to find, trustwillow.com. If you haven't taken that step or you're working with an advisor who you don't feel like has your best interests at heart, doesn't get you, doesn't understand you, you know, there's no harm in having a conversation, right? You know, these conversations are free, but it's a chance for you to take that first step in getting control. Of your financial journey.

That's awesome. All this information you guys can find on our show notes. Lacey, thank you again for being here and sharing all your knowledge with our community.

Thank you so much, Andresa. It's a real pleasure to be here with you.