Why Working Harder Isn’t Growing Your Real Estate Portfolio

Many women real estate investors work hard every single day, yet struggle to grow their portfolio. If you ever thought to yourself, at the end of the day, I worked so hard, yet I didn't make a ton of progress, this episode is for you. The issue isn't effort, it's actually leadership that hasn't evolved.

During this episode, we're going to break down how your old habits are actually holding back the growth of your real estate portfolio, and we're going to share a framework you can implement today that will change how you invest your time.

Welcome to the Real Estate InvestHer Podcast, a top 1% show helping women achieve financial freedom by investing in real estate. And now your hosts, Liz Faircloth and Andresa Guidelli.

Here's the reason why many real estate investors feel stuck. If your real estate portfolio isn't growing, isn't because you are not working hard enough. I hope that's not the case. It's because many investors spend a lot of time on the day-to-day operations and very little time planning strategically the growth of their business. And the strategic plan goes beyond selecting the market or the number of properties you are looking to acquire. It's all about evaluating who do you need on your team, what systems and processes do you need to implement, And most important, how you can develop leadership skills that will allow you to grow your real estate portfolio. So let's talk about leadership skills, right, Liz?

Yes.

When we talk about leadership skills, many people think that they're becoming somebody else. And what we encourage you to think of is that you're an onion.

Ooh, does it smell bad or does it smell good? You pick. You're like, how could it smell good?

I don't know. Feeling the layers of the onion and really rooting on who you truly are versus all the baggage that was put on top of you. So that is the ultimate goal here. For example, I was labeled antisocial my entire childhood.

You were labeled antisocial.

Yes, I was antisocial when a child or teenager. So I think it's just ignorance from the point of view of identifying that I was actually an introvert and what I actually valued versus, oh my gosh, she doesn't like to be around anything, any family gather, Italians and Brazilians. Imagine the amount of energy and everything, right? And I grabbed that. And I attached to my identity. That's who I am. It's like when we say that a child is shy, not necessarily, right? But if we keep repeating that, that became part of my identity until I got more information about who am I. I'm actually an introvert. I value deeper relationships. A lot of people drain my freaking energy. I want to get the hell out. Because it's too much, right? And there's nothing wrong with me. I don't have to fit a mold, but it's very hard when it comes down to real estate, right? Where people say, oh, you need to network, you need to network, you need to network. And I'm like, hmm, maybe I shouldn't have, you know, telemarketer. Maybe it will be better for me that I am only behind the screen. However, I had to adapt, right? Which events do I go? Do I show up with my cup already full or not? Am I very intentional with, oh, I don't need to meet 10 people, I need to meet 2 people, and how can I recoup my energy? So it's really adapting it and evolving the leadership as I grow my real estate portfolio. So Liz, I wanna talk about Growing the portfolio, but not growing the leadership skills. So what is the impact when that doesn't happen?

It's a huge impact, right? And we've heard it from multiple mentors, mentors that you and I have had. What got you here won't get you there. So the very behaviors that helped you be successful in the early stage, moving fast, right? We love to move fast. We say yes, we make things happen. We do it ourselves. That's another one. Being available, right? These are characteristics of getting it done in the early stage. That very behavior won't get you where you wanna go, and it actually becomes the very behavior that holds you back from growth. And that's why we're talking about this as you scale. And so for me, I built my business, businesses, I should say plural, of being available all the time. You know, I was available all the time. I thought being on like You know, it's almost like being on call to be there for everyone for everything was my, like, rite of passage. I needed to do that. So saying yes, showing up all the time, not just for meetings I committed to, but just showing up when I wasn't asked, right? It was like overdoing it, overcommitting. And that behavior for me, it became a leadership kind of way of being, but it also came from being people pleasing and really just being nervous. Like, if I said no, what would that do, right? But in order for me to become the leader, to grow my portfolio, grow my businesses in a way that I wanted it to. You see this, right? People pleasers, you're helping everyone else, but you're the one that's left with nothing. You're depleted, you're drained, you're resentful. I don't wanna live my life that way, let alone be the leader to take my business to the next level that way. So I needed to make some shifts, right? And I realized I was reacting, not really responding. So I've let go, like you're saying, Andresa, we learned to adapt. You know, do I have that people pleaser somewhere in me. I don't know if I'd call it a people pleaser anymore. I really like to own who I am now. Do I like to help other people? Sure. But I put boundaries up. I've learned how to say no, and I've learned how to speak my truth. And those have been three. And when I say as a leader, that has become a game changer for me to be more effective so I can lead other people and lead myself. So that for me has been what I've done.

I feel that many, many of our layers, right? We can justify them. And when you say people pleaser, I think there is a perspective that it's like a badge of honor, right? Oh, I sacrifice for others. I serve others. So there is that mentality too. And I'm curious, like, how do that play in your head, right? Because that's not something negative, right? That you're doing that will harm other people. Quite the opposite, of it. But how did you reconcile that part that you were helping other people, but that's not serving you? And how do you kind of like reframe it?

Well, it's been a long journey, I just have to be honest with you, with a lot of work, both outside work and internal work. I think the part that's reconciled for me is that, do I naturally want to help people and serve other people? Yes. I think that's part of my beautiful essence, to be honest, as a leader, as well as just someone who's in this world. Having said that, it's an and, it's not an or. I either can serve other people or put boundaries and say no and also make sure my cup is full. I used to see it as an or, and I think a lot of people who like to serve other people do. It's like, I either can help other people and it's at the detriment of myself. They actually, they're not mutually exclusive. They're actually not exclusive at all. And so in order to serve other people, you actually need to say no, put boundaries up. And also to be really honest with you, can I be honest with just you, Andresa, here?

Yeah, let's whisper.

Just you, just me and you. I'm just gonna whisper. Now, what's best for us? I think the deeper part is that we do help people to be helpful to other people. We do help people for other benefits, for other reasons. So whether it's where we feel needed, whether we feel liked, whether we feel important, I think there is a level of really being intentional and mindful of why we do things. Like, really, let's get honest, just between me and you. And so I do often ask myself, you know, and I'm much better at it, but I think I used to do things blindly just because, you know, I wanted people to like me, to be perfectly frank. I do think I have reconciled it and I am very service-oriented in the sense of wanting to help people. And that sometimes means putting boundaries up, right? And it means I'm gonna help from afar and what have you. But it is something you have to look at for yourself and ask those tough questions. Because if you don't ask those tough questions, you will not be able to lead the way you need to lead yourself and other people.

I don't wanna get into a rabbit hole here. However, let's go. When you say, when you say boundaries, right? Many people are hearing like, oh, is this or that? And I think one thing that we did recently was to create rules of engagement between two teams to work together and shake hands on that versus, hey, this is what I want and either you accept it or go pound sand. So we talked about what would be beneficial for both of our relationship to put in place when it comes down to rules of engagement. Those are boundaries basically, right? But it's called rules of engagement. So I don't want you guys outside to be thinking about, oh my gosh, boundaries seems very like Hey, this is my space, don't come in, versus how can we create something that works? You can name boundaries, you can name whatever the hell you want, don't care, but rules of engagement where you are protecting your time and energy. That's the bottom line of the rules of engagement that we put together. Won't you agree, Liz? We are protecting each other's time and energy. That is the ultimate goal. So we can both achieve a common goal. That is the key.

I'm gonna take it one, just one step forward and then we're gonna give you an action to take yourself. It's protecting your time because you value your time. And I think that's a really big distinction is that I do think for people that are people pleasers, there's a level of, I don't value my time. They don't say that verbally, but it is something internally that they have to work through that once you value your time, You will protect it. And I want everyone listening, get close. You should be protecting your time and valuing it. You know, you have a lot to give.

There is one way that people that are listening can really know if they do value their time or not. I believe many people are like, of course, of course I value my time. There's one way with people that are available 24/7 that I can text them at 11 or midnight or send an email and they respond right away. They're available. Everything that is available has low value. Available 24/7. You're not 7-Eleven, right? Is it 7-Eleven that is available at that time?

No, Wawa is okay, 'cause I love Wawa.

Wawa? You're not Wawa for all the like— East Coasters. East Coasters, you're not Wawa. And it's hard to think about that, but the more you really respect your time, because you are taking from your family and other things as well. So keep that in mind.

Yeah, so finish this sentence. Take a moment for yourself because we want you to take an action. That's what we're all about is that it's great to learn and listen, but if you're not taking action, you're not moving the needle forward, right? Making some potential change. So finish the sentence for you. The leadership behavior that no longer serves me is— I'll say that again. The leadership behavior that no longer serves you is, and fill in the blank and start to become really aware where that comes up for you.

Now that we talked about past behaviors that no longer serve us, let's talk about future behaviors that we want to implement in our lives so we can grow our portfolio on our own terms. Here's a strategy that many real estate investors don't know. It's called alter ego. And before you write it off and say this is woo-woo, let me share some facts. This concept is backed by psychology and neuroscience research. In a nutshell, you are making decisions from a higher thinking level. So think about your future self. How does she think? How does she move? How does she make decisions? When your brain makes decisions now from that perspective, it is much, much easier for you to get to a decision that is alignment to where you want to go versus from an emotional and stressful state of mind that you are currently in. So when you think about growing your real estate portfolio, make all the decisions based on your future self perspective.

Yeah, and there's an impact, right, Andresa, that when we don't lead from our future self, what happens, right? Because even when we identify it, which we're gonna give you a chance to do that, for me and my, just let you know, my alter ego, my future self is Grace, Hertz, her name. So when I don't make decisions from her, if you will, I choose to kind of react. I don't respond. I allow my calendar to get filled up and then I get really frustrated that I'm I'm quote unquote overwhelmed. When Andresa hears that I'm saying overwhelmed, that's usually when my past self, my lower self, if you will, is there. My future self doesn't talk about being overwhelmed. She's not overwhelmed.

Describe Grace, Liz. How is she?

Do you want me to tell you what she looks like? I think I may have mentioned this on a podcast. We disagree about that because I love that Andresa has to tell me what she looks like. But no, she has beautifully long gray hair. She's got a white outfit, this beautiful white dress that's gorgeous but fits her body lovely. And I think from a holistic perspective, without getting into too much detail, she comes from two places and she comes from these two places in a very simultaneous way. She comes from a peaceful, calm, grounded way in a very effective, powerful, impactful way. And that's really what my future self holds for me. She comes from these two places that often could be at opposites, right? Peace and power. She embodies them both in such a grounded, welcoming, strong way. That's who she is.

How does that have helped you on making decisions to grow your business and do everything that you do now as Liz?

I think it has helped more than business strategy and so many different things that people tell you to do or learn more information. For example, when you need to make tough decisions, if you're growing your portfolio, you're growing your business, you need to make tough decisions about people, about partnerships, about properties, everything included in that. And so for me, especially literally today's date that we're recording this, I visualize myself this morning. I'm not even joking, is my alter ego as looking to make some really big decisions in some areas. And when I come from that place, I'm clearer and I'm able to make tougher decisions that quite honestly are gonna have an impact. And I don't allow the people pleaser to come in at the detriment of my own needs. Then it impacts my husband, to be honest, Andresa, my conversations with him because he's also fairly people pleaser. And so when you have two people like that, that can be like that, You have to really put some pieces in place so you're not just giving the farm away or giving at your own detriment, at your own cost. So that has been tremendously helpful, especially in negotiations as well, 'cause I can tend to very tactically give more away than I think I should. And that doesn't happen as often when I come from my future self. How about for you?

Mine is Claire. So Claire is a—

Claire is lovely. I mean, I love that name, Claire.

But Claire is a strange bird.

I don't think she's a strange bird. I love Claire. Any Claire I know, I like.

Yeah, she's very cool. So not that I don't feel that way, but—

You're so funny. You're like, she's very cool. She's very cool.

Claire talks much less than I currently do. In the sense of Claire doesn't feel the need to fix or to tell people, hey, I already know the answer. Let me break it down for you here and save people from their own journey per se. Claire meets people where they are and she accepts them. And if they're not meeting them in the middle, she will not put more energy into it. And I think that I practice being clear, consciously try to practice being clear on a daily basis to say, meet me in the middle, otherwise I can go further than that because I'm not going to carry any partnership or any person that doesn't matter what it is, meet me more towards the middle. So every time that I have to make a decision on how I spend my time to grow my business, to grow my portfolio, I always think from Claire's perspective. She wants to be super grounded and it's either meeting in the middle or she won't. And she won't even fucking explain why, because she also doesn't want the time to do that, to overexplain. She's like, all right, have a great day. Claire does not justify a lot and connect the dots. She does not need to connect the dots for people. If they don't understand, that's fine. "Fine, have a lovely day." She is very, like, nonchalant.

The question is, the question is, is Clare and Grace friends? That's really the question that I'm wondering and other people are wondering right now.

They still are going to the compound farm. Clare is allergic to alcohol, so she has tea on her hand, and Grace drinking a bottle of wine that she made in her basement.

That's basically that.

So now that you know our names, Claire is trying to convince Grace about her gray hair.

Oh, she got the scissors out and she's trying to cut it.

No, no. You're like, let's go to the salon and do this, like, whatever treatment in Turkey or whatever.

Oh, I love it. I love it. I love these two.

They're characters.

They are characters. They don't give a shit. So for you, as you're thinking about yourself, right? The first recommendation was let go. What do you wanna let go of in terms of behavior? Now, really want you to own naming your alter ego, your higher self. What is her name or his name, whoever's listening? What is the first name that comes to your mind? And, and the next thing we want you to encourage you to do, it's really, really important to do this cuz it's like, okay, it's out there if you just have a name, but you really wanna start to say, what are the identity rules, the leadership rules that you're going to work from as this person, as your future self. So for example, for me, this is a good one. I respond, I don't react, right? I make decisions with clear criteria. Or some women have often said, I make decisions with confidence. That's something that a lot of the women in our community will talk about. The other one you can say is something like, I protect my time and I delegate ownership. Whatever comes up for you, What are those identity rules that will help you move you towards being the person you already are, but just more of it and more often, right? That's the most important thing. So now that you're leading with intention, which is critical from that, you know, connecting with your higher self, the next step is about making it practical. And making it practical as a leader is all about, okay, what stays on my plate to keep doing and what needs to be removed from my plate that no longer serves me, or I need to let go of to a team member. So this is all about deciding in a sense, what do you wanna develop and what do you wanna delegate? So your business, business that you're growing, it can actually stop running without you and you're not doing it all yourself. Strong leaders do not try to master everything. If your business still runs through you, it doesn't mean that you're bad at delegating. It means that you actually don't know what you should be owning yourself.

So how can I decide if I need to develop or if I need to delegate?

Here's a quick tool. If it's core to leadership, you can develop it. If it's core to execution, you can delegate it. This clarity will allow you to become more free of your time so you don't have to be in the middle of everything. So here's a quick example for me, Andresa, that was something that I needed to be really mindful of. Okay, what do I really own myself in terms of developing myself as a leader? And what do I need to delegate? I wanna give a quick example of something for me that I got really clear on. Being able to track KPIs and numbers in some ways you can say is execution. However, developing the KPI and then managing it from an ownership perspective is something that leaders need to do, right? Leaders need to own that. And so for me, I don't know, the KPI, I've had a love-hate relationship with it in the past, meaning, well, that's not for me to do. I don't need to worry about numbers. I don't need to really worry about any of that stuff. I need to just be who I am and do my thing. And I have to tell you, Andresa, while many people that are hearing this may say that to themselves, like, oh yeah, I could just delegate that, that's execution, it actually becomes It's a story we tell ourselves. And as a leader, you do need to have a pulse. You do need to have a pulse on your business. You need to have a pulse on your finances. You need to have a pulse on what you're actually measuring in your company. Now, doesn't mean you have to create all of these KPIs, track all those KPIs every day, and oversee it in that sense of like execution. But being part of knowing it and having a pulse and then being able to manage it in a leadership perspective is the key to it all, to be honest.

Absolutely. One thing that I would say though, hold on a second there. People might be saying, well, you are talking to corporate, right? But I only have a few, a handful of real estate properties. What are you talking about when you, you are saying KPI? So key performance indicators, it's how do you measure your results? What are the goals and you're measuring again? I think one quick example that you can give, Liz, is like when you attend real estate conferences or go to live events, you develop yourself a KPI for those. So share a little bit more about that for a second.

Yeah, absolutely. So any event that I speak at or I attend, I go in with very specific metrics to measure measure myself, but also quite honestly have critical goals, like clear goals. Like, what am I looking to achieve here? That's what ultimately a KPI is, right? What am I looking to achieve? What are the specifics? Then how do I actually look back and go, did I do this? Did I meet this or not? Because at the end of the day, Andresa, if you're running a business and you're growing a portfolio, if you don't have that clarity, anything goes. Now I'm speaking, I'm keynoting at a conference. In a couple of weeks, and I go in with specific goals on people I wanna meet. That could be certain names. I often, many of our partners and sponsors come to these events. So I have very specific goals and metrics around meetings to have. So I usually go in with, you know, some, some conferences I'm going in with like 15 meetings that I'm looking to set up.

Dinners, breakfasts, all those are included.

So there's a number there. It's very specific. I also usually go in with specific attendees that I want to connect with. It's usually around connection, relationship building, but it has specifics. As we grow our team, Andresa, we may have a bucket that says, you know, meeting people that could fill some additional needs. You know, that's all really critical for us and for me. So I'm specific. Even this morning, I'm so proud of my husband. I was talking about this conference we're both speaking at. He goes, We really got to make a list of everything we got to get out of this conference. I said, I already started brainstorming what I need to. I don't know what you need to, but you know, we were joking, but I think that's great that he has that because he probably learned that from me.

Here's my agenda.

But if you're not clear, and it doesn't mean you have to be so like rote about it, but even if you go to a networking event and say, I want to meet 3 people that there could be some potential collaboration or ways I can help them, ways they can help me from this meeting. That is what we're talking about, especially from a networking perspective. But if you don't have that clarity, no one will. And that is your job as a leader to have that clarity so you know if you're moving in the right direction or not. For me, I know Justin and I always say this and I want you to embrace this is, are you moving forward? Are you making steps towards where you want to be? And for me, I need to feel, I need to get a win. I need to feel like I'm moving forward. And if I don't, then I'm like, oh shit, I didn't do that. So KPIs actually gives you this ability to feel like you're moving forward.

And they don't lie, because many times we feel that we're not making progress, but when you look at the KPI, actually, hold on a second, we did very well here, or the intention was to do this, this, and that. It's not the whole thing that didn't work, you know what I mean? So that helps. So for all of you that are listening, we are all about you learning something and taking action, right? So as Liz mentioned, What we want you to think is about where you're spending your time. So look at this past week and write down the activities, the tasks that you've done. And in front of it, we encourage you, invite you to write down, this is a skill set that I am developing and I am the one that needs to own this. And the other parts that this need, I need to delegate. And when I mean delegating it, I'm also I'm telling you, it's not going to be on your plate. You can lead the other person doing it for much less, or you can also alternate it. The bottom line is that you are not the one doing it. And you might say to me, but yes, but I am the only one in my business right now. I want you to start thinking how it will be. Remember, think about it from your future self. Your future self is not doing everything.

Okay?

So even if you're not doing it right now, you're not delegating it right now, I want you to write down so you're consciously, you're already conscious that that role that you are currently filling is temporarily. What I see is that a lot of real estate investors still doing 10 years down the road, the business still depends on them. They have a job. They don't have a business that they can step out and do other projects and have more freedom of time. Then it defeats the purpose. So it's all about you being aware of what it is and where you want to be. So for all of you that'll listen to this episode, do something. Don't come to Liz and I and say, oh, I got so inspired. We failed. Do something with what you learn here, apply, and let us know. We're so happy when people come to us and say, hey, this is what I did and this is the result that I, I got. Thanks so much for listening.

Thank you so much.

Thank you for listening. I hope you found today's conversation valuable and don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss any future episodes. And share this with the women in your life that needs to hear it. I'll see you next week.