657. Finding Fulfillment in Your Life and Business with Keren Eldad

Hi, I'm Jacqueline Snyder and this is the Product Boss podcast. I've helped launch and grow thousands of product based businesses, even one of my own. And over the last 20 years, I've seen behind the scenes of businesses just like yours. Whether they are makers, manufacturers, artists, or food and beverage businesses. I have spent so many hours studying it all. I've discovered what makes them successful, what mistakes they could have avoided, how did they turn their ideas into a successful business, and what are the strategies that they have used to make more sales and be discovered by more customers. And this is what this show is all about. Whether you're just starting out or you're looking to become a million dollar product boss, I'm here to give you the permission to chase your dreams, no matter how big or small. All you need is the right mindset, a little courage, strategy and support, and you too can be the next million dollar product boss. Let's do this. Hey friends, and welcome back to another episode of the Product Boss podcast. I am so excited because I have an incredible guest today on the show. She is a friend, a colleague. She's someone I've known for years. She's an incredible coach and an author and she's going to speak about her book today. So I'd love to introduce you to my friend, Karen Eldad. Now, she's also known as Coach Karen and she is a guide for high achie achievers and people who didn't even know that they were on this relentless pursuit of more until they started to feel unfulfilled. So listen, she is a trusted coach to Olympic athletes and Hollywood stars, supermodels, Fortune 500 execs, and even special forces operatives. And Karen helps them, right People who make excellence and high achievement look effortless reclaim their joy in their sanity. Now, through her work, she has worked with global powerhouses like Nike and Estee Lauder and JP Morgan, as well as the these leaders that have shaped these industries. And she's seen it all, right? She's worked with people when it comes to burnout and disillusionment and the cost of a life defined solely by outward success. And through that inspiration, she has just launched her new book, Breaking Free from the Cage of Ambition, Perfectionism, and the Relentless pursuit of more, which is a wake up call for anyone who's ever felt trapped by their own achievements. So I'm so excited to dive into this book. It is not just another self help book, but is this fierce manifesto for those who are ready to let go of endlessly striving and embrace that feeling that I know so many of us want, which is fulfillment, balance and purpose. So if you're ready, let's jump in. Hey, hey, product bosses. I know a lot of us want to get organized. That's my word of the year. One of them is discipline. And it's that discipline and kind of getting organized and staying organized and really kind of minimizing my overwhelm this year. So if you're anything like me, you're probably juggling spreadsheets or you might be guessing like what stock do I actually have on hand or do I have enough make these raw goods, right? Especially if we've just come out of the holiday season and maybe you're just crossing your fingers that you have the right stock levels or that when you restock, you order the right amount. But I know that a lot of times when we're sitting in inventory, it's actually just chaos. It's like, is this organized? Is it organized in my head? Is it organized on a spreadsheet? I have a piece of paper jotted down somewhere. I don't know. Right. But here's the deal. We're going to move into this year without the chaos. It does not need to feel this overwhelming. Because what if managing your inventory could actually be simple, Right? Simple and not stressful and actually really informative. That's where Katana comes in. Now, I love Katana. It is the inventory management software that I have recommended for years and it's built specifically for product based businesses like yours. And with Katana, you are going to save time. You are going to know the exact details about your inventory, especially when it comes to time to reorder and how to streamline your operations, all so that you can focus on what you do best, which is being the visionary, which is being creative and making amazing products and taking care of your customers and focusing on sales. So if you are ready to ditch the overwhelm and get your inventory under control, I'd love for you to schedule your free demo for katana@theproductboss.com katana and you can see how Katana can be a game changer for your biz and make 2025 a breeze. Karen, welcome to the Product Bus podcast.

Thanks Jacqueline. So nice to be with you, buddy.

I am too. We're friends. We've been friends for a couple of years now. We met in a mastermind that we used to be. And I'm so honored that you've come on the show especially cause you're dropping January 21st. Your new book is out, and I'm excited to talk to you a little bit about how you've been impacting the world and helping women around the world. And then also getting into your book yielded.

I'm so thrilled. I mean, it's a real joy, and it's kind of been like, a really long time coming because since I met you, I've been talking about what's gonna happen with this idea I have for a book, and here it is.

I know, Amazing. I feel like. I feel like we were together or not maybe physically together, but you. When you landed the book.

Yeah, we were. It was an amazing day.

It's insane to kind of, like, reflect back on when big shifts and things happened, especially when you, you know, you've been working as. I don't know, we're friends, colleagues, all the things Right. Online and then. And then finally making it and seeing it in print and seeing the COVID and everything that's inside of it, and just. It's incredible to see how far you've come, but also just the pursuit on where and where you've landed.

Well, I feel the same way about you, of course. I mean, one of the joys of being friends with entrepreneurs and to everybody out there, be friends with other entrepreneurs, because nobody else understands you. You. You always go through the big moments, and everything that happened to you essentially happened to me. The. The changing of your configuration in business. Right. I don't have a business partnership in place, but I learned so much just watching, and it's my hope that that's exactly what happens to you in our relationship. Right. Like, all of this is shared, learned experience. And for what it's worth, it doesn't just make things more. Less lonely. It makes things more impactful.

100%. Yes. So glad that we became friends when we did. And that's. I mean, truthfully, you know, we have our own businesses, but entrepreneurship is lonely, and so looking for those places. I think that's why I fell in love with podcasts, because you get to listen and you get to know people, and you almost feel like they're your friends or you're learning from them. You're on the table with them, learning about business, which I hope this episode is for everyone listening, and then as well as, like, getting into the real world and actually putting yourself out there and connecting with people.

Yeah. And you also connect around. I mean, I think you and I have probably principally connected around values, political views and values, and that's something that's also very, very impactful. Because one person alone can't do anything.

Yes.

But two people, you're starting to have something.

Yes. And I'm so glad that you've been there with me through this too. So, Karen, I want to kind of get into people getting to know you a bit more. So you've coached some of the most successful, successful people in the world. I mean, you've coached Olympic athletes, CEOs, even Hollywood stars. But I want to start by rewinding the clock and talk about who were you before all of this? What shaped you into the coach and the person that you are today?

I was one of the people that I coach today. The, the best clients you'll ever have as a coach, as a former version of yourself, is someone who's just a few steps behind you on the journey. Right. And that doesn't mean anything physically. It really just means, mindset wise, they have not essentially graduated to where you are now. We're simply more advanced students. We're not gurus or anything like that. Before I started this, I was a strung out, burnt out, really hard working overachiever by any measure of the imagination. And by the time I was 31, I was a C suite executive at a very, very large company, one of the biggest companies in the world, a luxury brand in case anyone's interested. And I was married to a tall man. So technically I had achieved the most important thing my mother ever wanted for me. And I hadn't eaten since the 90s, so that was also working for me. And so pretty much almost in every dimension, I'm trying to overperform. I'm trying to be at the top societally, I'm trying to be at the top financially and in the LinkedIn hierarchy. Right. And at that time I found myself really, and this is not an understatement, truly feeling caged by my own life. I was trapped in a marriage that was very good looking on Instagram, but abusive on the inside. Really toxic and horrifying. I lived in a very beautiful house, but it was in Zurich, which for anyone who's visited is like death, only slower. For a New Yorker at least. And the job was a great job. I mean, I really think and think the world of these companies, which I still have the great, enormous pleasure of coaching, but it wasn't my job, it wasn't my calling, it wasn't what woke me up, eager for the day. So I'm living in the library of this house because I definitely don't want to go back to the bedroom. And I'm waking Up every day doing something that I'm only half hearted about and everything around me is gray and I just want to go home. I started to ask myself the question back then, how did I get here? I, a person who did everything right, how did I get here? And this is a question that I don't think is often asked in the world of self development. In the world of self development, self help, personal development, usually the question is, I've gone terribly wrong, how do I correct this? Or something like that. Mine was, I did everything right, how did I end up here? And most of my clients fall into that category. They are men and women who are truly dynamic, very intensely focused, end up in the middle of their lives having climbed a serious ladder and thinking, was I even on the right wall? And this is sort of, sort of.

The story guilted, like you said, that's we are our clients just a little bit further along in the learning. Right. And so I do think some of these shifts that happen in our lives or these walls we hit, or these breakdowns or breakthroughs are some of the things that are the most powerful. I think you're always so vulnerable about your experiences. And I try to do the same for my listeners and for my students because it's like nobody is perfect. And if we don't share the struggle and if we don't share the journey, the actual journey, not the Instagram, pretty sort of journey, then how do they know it's possible for them as well?

I agree. And that's why, I mean, I think the biggest that you can do as a teacher is just tell the truth. That's actually the best thing you can do to be a good person too. But that's really it. It's full transparency. And when, I don't know, I'll figure it out with you. That's the job.

So I know you've coached so many ambitious people and I find it fascinating how you work. Right. Cause. Because not only do you help them, you know, they see their external success, but also you kind of help them figure out what's holding them back internally. So while I know you felt this way, how did you become someone who could see and address that, like what other people might miss, like seeing the, the gilded cage that they're in.

By learning on myself, I was my first guinea pig and it took me four years. I went to, I mean, you know this. I famously went to seriously every personal development seminar I could scrounge up the money for and worked with every best selling author, coach I could scrounge up the money for. And it took me a very long time. That was the first learning. The first thing that I noticed was why isn't this working on me? Why are other people moving in a different capacity when I have a set of skills that should technically allow me to sail through this? And I started to understand that overachievers, and especially people who are maybe more academically inclined have a real hard time with emotions. We're way, way, way rougher to understand things and internalize things and integrate. We're much faster to understand things intellectually, which almost makes us bypass and shortcut our way to quote, unquote, enlightenment. So that was the first thing. And then the second thing I started to realize was I was getting a lot better and I was making real improvements. And I put one and two together and distilled this into a program thinking, you know, I figured this out, I've solved this puzzle for myself. I think I can solve this puzzle for other people who are configured in a similar way. That's when I put out my first email newsletter to my Fakakta LinkedIn list, which by the way, at the time was 500 people. It's more than 10 times that now. And downloaded all the emails because at the time you could do that with your list. And sent one email out saying, I have come up with a coaching program and I'm open and ready to receive. I have this amount of slots, 12 slots because I had a full time job, right. I'm broke at the time. I've just gotten divorced. I really need a full. Just jump into this. So this is all the spots I have. Take them or leave them. And I sold out within 24 hours.

Wow.

That was the beginning. And I just learned my, my first goal on this job in the first two years was become a really, really good coach. Really learn these people, really understand how to serve them. And that was that.

Yeah. And I think that's so powerful too. Because one thing that you know, just to kind of reflect into business, one thing that people think is I need a really big email list. I really need a really big following. But you need a really good offer, right? The product that you're offering, you need to solve the problem for your ideal customer. And so that's what you were, hey, I have this pain point. Others might have it the same way. So whether you're a coach, you're a product based business owner, it's really making that connection. Because when you make that connection with the ideal customer, that end consumer, right. It's inevitable, like your success will be inevitable.

I completely agree. But I also want to emphasize point two, which is then take the time to really understand them, because your initial offer is very likely very useful to you, which is great. You're already a very, very good testing ground. But in about one or two years, you're also going to listen to them, and that's going to make it much, much. That's why I think that the first two years are about two things. Number one, don't die, so you do have to make some money. But number two, even more importantly, become really good. Become really good is the only thing that truly matters that will carry you into the next years.

So I wanted to kind of transition into something. So I read something in your book because I think it not only encapsulates so much of what you're sharing, but it also. Well, it just encapsulates so much of your sharing. So what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna read this quote and quote the people. So it's from Bird in a Cage, Gilded Cage by Arthur J. Lamb and Harry Von Tilzer. And this is the quote. So if everyone wants to. And up. It's so good. All right. She's only a bird in a gilded cage. A beautiful sight to see. You may think she's happy and free from care. She's not, though she seems to be. So that imagery is so striking. And can you take us through what inspired you to use this metaphor for overachievers and how it reflects their struggles?

Yes. You know, it's actually the quote that brought about the title for the book. This book, as you know, as my friend, has had several iterations, seven titles, and Gilded just landed. I'd love to say in my head, but in my husband's head, because he said, you're talking about a gilded cage. And that's when I just researched when was the first time the term was used. I thought it was going to be Mark Twain who dubbed the golden or the Gilded Age. The Gilded Age, because it was all fancy and all dazzle, but no real substance beneath it. That's what gilded means. Covered in gold rather than golden. But it turns out that it was this poem. And when I read those words, it sent chills up my spine because I started to understand that that was the crux of my audience's profile and my former profile. People who look to have enviable lives, at least on Instagram, but whose lives do not feel the same way on the inside. And for many entrepreneurs, this is the Case, many of us know that it's really awesome to say, hey, I have a seven figure business, but I actually also have no time. My relationships are crumbling. I'm super overwhelmed. I feel like I'm a bad mother at this time and I haven't eaten properly in three years. These are gilded cage moments. It's pretty important to address them. And I thought that if I go straight to that analogy, people will get it.

Yeah. So what would you say are some signs if someone wants to identify? Because a lot of us might be like, yeah, I feel that way, but am I stuck in my own gilded cage? So what would be something to look out for?

Emotions. The overachievers around us are not going to like this because it's woo woo or esoteric. But just listen, pay attention to the emotions because unfortunately your circumstances will not tell you that anything is wrong. You'll probably be winning. And if you're winning, most of us tend to not think that there's a problem. Right. Winning means financial success. Marriage is not under threat at the moment. And I don't know, the election went our way, whatever you think, it didn't go my way, but it might have gone other people's way. The emotions I would look out for the most are a sense of restlessness where you're really numbing a lot. You feel like you're spending more and more time on Instagram or online shopping or on YouTube. Any of that purposelessness. I don't know where this is going. I have real uncertainty about whether I'm really living a life that wakes me up eager and I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. And I think maybe in the most aggressive stance, some form of sadness or resentment or bitterness. Those are more interesting feelings because stuck is not an actual emotion. Neither is weird. When people say I feel weird. This is a good adjective. It is not an emotion. If you get really clear around this, and I've actually even outlined in one of my YouTube videos, like what emotions you need to pay attention to, then you can start thinking, I should probably address this emotion. What is this emotion trying to tell me? It's most likely saying that where you are is not where you want to be. This is not a bad thing. This means I need to pay attention and I need to go on at least a miniature inner journey, an inner exploration that can be as simple as reading a book like Gilded or listening to Seven Hours of Byron Katie on YouTube or attending a seminar or going for full on coaching to really address this because it will not go away. It's going to get much, much louder. That's the big sign. And it's usually calling us then to address what's really going on in our lives. Jaclyn, sorry to interrupt what you were about to say, but restlessness doesn't happen for no reason. Restlessness usually happens because we're not willing to address or confront something that we need to confront in our lives. I can't tell you how many times, for example, clients have told me, after, like, four sessions, yeah, we haven't had sex in, like, seven years. Care to address that? Because that's kind of a big matzo ball you just put out there. Or revenue has been stagnant. That's a thing. That's a. To look at. That's. That doesn't mean things are okay. That means something is off. And so when we are able to confront what's happening, which is usually a boundary issue, is not functioning properly, an integrity issue is not super clear. We can get past that.

So one of the things I love about Gilded is that you do actually guide readers to confront those parts of themselves, right? Especially the parts that they want to avoid, like perfectionism or fear of failure or anger. So could you take us through a couple steps in which somebody could. I know that we want them to get everything inside of the book, but a few steps that they could implement from this. This episode.

I love that you're asking this because it's giving me an opportunity to say something I haven't said before. Many people have asked me, what's this book like? Like, which book is it like? You know, I love to read, and I have a thousand references, but I actually think that the Gilded is most similar to a book called 12 Steps, 12 Traditions, which is a book that was created for Alcoholics Anonymous. I myself have never had that experience, but I did read the book with extreme interest. And in reviewing Gilded, I just reread it because, you know, it arrived in my house and I loved it, by the way, which is a great sign because I usually hate my work. All of us. I thought about it, and I thought that a couple of steps are absolutely identical to the Alcoholics Anonymous steps. You'll just hear them a different way. The first one, the first and most fundamental one, is admit it, you do have a problem. The way I say it is, admit it, your life doesn't feel as good as it looks. And that is the first step. The first step is simply to admit I am not where I want to be. This is not inherently a Bad thing. Most of us will resist it with all our might. For example, I'm now in my late 40s. I can, like many of my friends say, but I don't feel 47. That doesn't matter. You are 47. So it's really important for you to know I'm 47 and to be cool with it. That's the first step to moving forward. The second step, I think, is to start to understand that your mindset is actually usually, and by the way, forevermore, no matter how enlightened, you are going to work against you. And to learn how to deal with that, to start understanding that your ego is very well formed. Most people will get to this work around the age of 40. By that time, your ego has been running a long time. And you know what I like to say, the ego is union. He's not quitting anytime soon. So you better get to know him and you better learn how to manage. Manage him. The second big lesson in gilded is how to manage that ego, how to really manage those thoughts. And I think that especially for entrepreneurs, if we don't learn how to manage them, we don't go anywhere. Mindset is everything in this game. I don't think anyone who decides to sign up to run their own business doesn't inherently understand within six months this is hard. There's a reason why this doesn't work out for so many people. This is really hard. Your mindset is everything. And the third lesson that I really hope people take away from it is that your way out of this is the exact opposite of what you expect it to be. Most people, and especially people who turn to business coaching, are inherently asking to learn how to do more, act more, move more firmly. But the solution I've found and that I offer in Guilded is let go. You spoke about this really beautifully in a couple of episodes ago. I listened to you talk about scaling and you said that the presumption for most people is you got to work a lot harder. You got to be much more focused. And it's exactly the opposite that takes root here. This is true for almost all achievement. The second you let go of it is the second you get more than you can handle. In the words of the great Alanis.

Morrisette, the great freaked Alana's horse, the.

Bard, the poet, the rabbi.

Hey, friend. Okay, I want to talk about something that I know that you really need. But so many people have all the reasons why they don't do this. We really need is we need to build an email list. I Am going to tell you that there are two things that you need as a product based business. You need an email list because that is your asset, you actually own that and that's a direct communication with your customers. And you need your own website because you can't build on borrowed land. But right now I want to talk about email market because email marketing is actually the way that you are going to drive sales in your business. It's the way that you're going to stay connected. Forget thinking that social media is the way because guess what, the algorithm chooses who they want to send your images and reels and all the things to you. But emails really gets you connected with your customers. So if you feel like you're trying to connect, you're trying to sell, and you feel like you're wasting hours trying to get the job done, or you feel like you would just like an easier way. My friends, this year it's time for a change. And that change is class. It is the number one email and SMS marketing platform that I recommend specifically for product based business owners. Did you hear that? It's for product based business owners, people who sell products online. And the reason why it's so amazing is that it's got these incredible capabilities and it's seamless with so many of the tools and the platforms that we recommend. So with Klaviyo, you can send personalized messages, you can automate campaigns, and here's the best part, you can boost your sales and your revenue without having to do much more than type in a few things into your keyboard. Okay, so Klaviyo makes your emails feel like they are talking directly to your customers. Right? Your customers are going to feel like it's a one on one conversation with you. And it's super easy to set up. Even if tech is not your thing. Trust me, tech's not my thing either. And this is amazing. So if you're ready to see it in action, I'd love you to get started for free. Now all you have to do is head to the productboss.com klaviyo. That's the productboss.com/k L A V I Y O and turn your email list into your best performing sales channel that you own. Hey friends, are you unsure of what to say on social media or what to even send in your weekly emails? Well, what if creating content could be easy? Would you be looking for a shortcut to creating consistent content? Yes, consistent content. Because you know, consistency is key. Well, let me tell you, you are not alone when you feel like you're struggling on what to post or what to write in emails. And we know that you have that product part of your down. But as you're listening to this podcast, you probably already know that to get more people to your products, to buy your products, you need to create great content. Oh, I know, I see. I keep saying content and that's the dreaded C word. And we can't tell you how many product bosses tell us that they want to create great content for their audience and their customers, but they don't know what to say, or they are so busy they can't find the time, or they really, really, really don't want to be the face of their brand. Well, no worries, because that's exactly why we created a year. It is your shortcut to creating consistent content that resonates with your audience and brings more loyal customers who can't wait to buy your products. If you want to see how easy this is and how easy it is to create content for your audience and your customers, head to www.ayearofcontent.com. i could go aside, but I wanna go back to what you're saying, so. And I agree with you. And that's like one of the biggest challenges that I've had over the past couple years. And like I said, I talk about it on the podcast is is that doing right, right? That. Whether it's that masculine energy, that doing that overworking, that hustler, the whatever. I was like my friend Mel Abraham says, caught, not taught, right? So what I caught, maybe I wasn't taught it, that hard work equaled hard work and hustling and burning out equal the results I wanted. And the weird thing is, is as I started transitioning, exactly what, what you're speaking about here and what's inside of Gilded. As I started transitioning into this new way of being, at one point I was like, am I irresponsible? Like, am I irresponsible for not checking this thing like a gazillion times a day or overworking or. And then responding to that freak out with me doing more? Right. I just, it was this weird transition point of how can I not be doing anything about it? But I forced myself to sit on my hands. I forced myself to sit. Like for me, I started watching, I don't know, like TV shows, like series of TV shows. I'm not even listening to a podcast at that point. Cause I was like, I don't want any other ideas. And I started to let go. And as I started to let go and kind of let the chips fall. And I was so surprised about just whether it was the universe conspiring in my favor, whether it was the work that I did allowing it to take front. Maybe it was the energetic shift for me. But truthfully, you and I were just talking about kicking off 2025 and it does feel like this big, like dark cloud has sort of lifted. Right. The fog is clearing and I'm starting to see more clearly. And it's just so aligned with exactly what you teach.

The biggest correction of my life, you know, where I'm from, right? For those who can't recognize the sexy accent, I'm Israeli. And that that impulse to control we definitely caught that. We were not taught that. We caught that. That is everywhere, all around you, all the time. The correction of my life has been the embrace of essentially stoicism there stoic clause called the reserve clause that says I thought I wanted things to go a certain way. But I acknowledge that there are factors beyond my control that force me to find another way. Today I open almost every day when I remember with a prayer that says, I'm willing to change, please show me how. That's it. I'm willing to change. Please show me how. And that has allowed me to really move into surrender rather than the reactive tracks of the past. The hustle tracks. The hustle tracks will only get you so far. Listen, they will get your business off the ground. That double, checking, triple checking, insane discipline in mode, that's useful to a certain point until you start to really want to scale. If you want to really want to scale. It's the exact opposite. That's actually going to help you and that is you're going to have to learn to pick your battles and to learn how to manage your battles. Unfortunately, this is, hello, this is entrepreneurship. There will be literally like even legal battles. Right? How many of us know that? But if you can approach it with equanimity, all I can say is the results will be better. They will be less destructive at very least. And that's all you want because there's only one job in entrepreneurship and that's the job that Jim Collins talks about in all his books. Just don't die. That's it. Just don't die. Live, live to play another day, right?

Yeah, absolutely. And it's. Yeah, it's similar. Like you said, almost 12 step, the serenity prayer. Right. Just to. We were. My husband was using it on my 11 year old son yesterday when he was freaking out about his sister. You know, it is like let me just tell you about this one. You know, prayer of like have the serenity to know what you can change and what you can't. So it's so powerful and I'm so glad that your approach to this is in a way to use these steps that you've created instead of gilded for people to really take action on.

So I actually toying with the idea of changing it from Alcoholics Anonymous to Workaholics Anonymous manual. I'd sign up which I thought that would be hilarious. Right? But that's literally what gilded is.

Yeah.

Welcome to Workaholics Anonymous. Hi. I'm a workaholic and I'm here. I'm 12 years sober.

I'm working on it.

I'm working on it.

Well, it's funny you say that because in my inner circle, Mastermind and these are all women with multi six figure, multi seven figure businesses. One of the things that we were chatting about and I was talking to them about the blended life which is something that I talk about a lot, a lot. And, and where we're at and everybody was saying what A woman said this and it's literally what I've said. She's like, I've tried to take on hobbies, but instead of taking on a hobby I find myself just working more. And I used to pride myself in saying I don't have hobbies cuz my business is my hobby because I enjoy business and business building. But it all started around Halloween when I had to bedazzle a Taylor Swift lover outfit for my daughter who she didn't end up wearing it, but I was literally gluing rhinestones on one at a time while watching tv. And I was like this is fun to kind of do something mindless with a result. Or not mindless, but learning a new thing with a could take pride in that had nothing to do with the results from my work or business.

I. I don't know if you can see the library behind me, but everything is color coded.

It's beautiful.

Same. Yeah.

Organization is one thing I do.

It's not mindless. It's flow. It's flow. It's where my best ideas come from. It's where I finally allow myself to relax. It's not the key is not to schedule hobbies that really arrest your impulse for perfectionism anymore and just find something fun. Which is why I don't consider exercise a hobby for most of us. It's a competitive endeavor for most of people in my circle anyway. For me I really just like Organizing my closet and everybody else's.

Yeah, you are the workout queen. I remember we'd be out, and you're like, yeah, who wants to go? Or is it spin or Pilates?

Both.

Both.

Ideally both.

We'd come. We came back one time from being on a bus, like, with a pole that we were going around, like, Miami, and everyone was. Was, like, drinking champagne, and you're like, all right, guys, I'm going to spin. Who wants to go into my room?

It was so fun. It was a great class, just so you know. And you missed it.

I know. Because, see, that workout thing is probably gonna be more of a hobby than a competitive thing for me, but. That's right.

You'll enjoy it. You'll actually enjoy it. That's wonderful.

I like. Yeah. So everybody has their own version of that, but I love it.

And again, it's because of what I caught. I caught those horrifying malaises in the 90s when I came of age, the 90s, Kate Moss was the reigning queen. I don't think she's eaten. She was born. And that's still what I associate exercise with. I've worked all my life against this. I really, really have. It's getting a little better, I guess. There are classes I genuinely enjoy, but that's a habit that's very different from a hobby.

And you know that about yourself. And I think that's self reflection, you know? And it's interesting because we all go into business not realizing that mindset is so much of the thing that's actually in the way of everything we want on the other side. Because you can. People will say, give me the strategy. Tell me exactly what to do. Here are the steps. And that's why even I just launched a new membership, the Product Boss Academy. And in there, we have mindset, and we have this concept of the blended life. Right. Because I believe that it's not balance, it's not juggling. It's like we have to blend.

No such thing as balance.

No, I call BS on balance. Exactly.

No, nobody needs to lie to you anymore. You're not going to find it. Enjoy.

Yeah, I had a enjoy. That's it. We're just going to end this podcast here. One of my team members has got a new baby, and she's got a toddler, and she had to take a call today, and the baby woke up in the middle of the nap, and she was like, I think I. I think I'm done. I think I need to quit. I can't give you what you need. But I was like, are you out of your mind? Like, how could we be a business helping women blend all the things? And you think that because your baby woke up in the middle of a meeting, you shouldn't be here anymore? I was like, let's take a step back, you know, and address kind of where we're at. And I was like, your blend today, your smoothie just sucks. Like, she's like, yeah, I used curdle milk. And you know. Cause I call it, like a smoothie reference because it's like, it's okay if today sucked. We're gonna wake up tomorrow and try it again. Right. And she also has this perfectionism to her.

Exactly. But that's the only thing that's really working against us is this expectation that it's not supposed, that it's supposed to be balanced, that there is such a thing. Here's the deal, friends. Balance was craz, created for men in the 1960s, when apparently they came home to a cocktail and a wife. Exactly. Well dressed, and her curls were magnificent. This has never been a thing for anyone else. And it is my enormous hope that it isn't for them either anymore. And that we all just understand that we have desires in life, and those desires are going to come with a cost. If Stitch Fix founder, or Sarah Blakely, another founder, could do this with the toddlers, so can you. It just means be gentle with yourself and mind the blend. And when the blend, as, as Jacqueline says, some days sucks. Take a break. It's okay. Nothing's gonna happen.

Yeah. Start again tomorrow.

And I mean, I. I was just telling Jaclyn, I'm. I'm having a kind of a weird day. It's not a problem for me. All I have to do is say to my husband, I'm gonna be watching Netflix for the next four hours, and I will discuss anything else after that. It happens. I. I also know, especially having written Gilded, that my impulse to work harder to double is gonna work against me. You have to actually know that if you really want a blended life, you gotta stop.

Yep, 100%. So what do you think? I know that you challenge this idea, and we've been talking about this, but this more achievement's gonna lead to true happiness, right? And what do you see? What do you find to be real fulfillment? What have you seen in your experiences of coaching all of these amazing people and through your own experience as well? And what are you hoping for people when they're looking for that real fulfillment?

Give you the answer in one second. Before I ask You. What do you think is real fulfillment?

I think it's this feeling of peace in my heart. I. I'm really tapping into my body more than my brain. I realize one of my coaches said your brain's lying to you because your brain just comes up with all these different random things. So the more I can feel alkalized in my body or warmth or, you know, like a good feeling in my body, I know that then I'm fulfilled.

Exactly. That is the correct answer.

Oh, thank you.

I'm obsessed with Scott Galloway. I really like how he just spews data all the time, but there are things about his answers that are still very masculine and very in pursuit. For example, podcast that he just did with Ryan Holiday, who's awesome, too, he was saying that you should have a number, and it's a good thing. And when you achieve that number, you can achieve the following. These are great things, I think, but that is nowhere near fulfillment. Fulfillment is a feeling. It's not an external acquisition. And it's. I think the best way to define it is I am satisfied with what is, and I'm eager for more. That's my definition of peace, of happiness, of joy, of all of it. I'm not obsessing. That's already amazing, right? Like, think about all anxiety disappearing from your life immediately. And I'm genuinely satisfied. Satisfied and at the same time, frisky. I'm kind of frisky. Frisky does not mean, oh, my God, if I don't eat right now, I will die. And if I don't hit this number, all hell will break off. It just means, let me go, Let me at it. And that's. That's the feeling that when they reach it, usually around the middle of the series, that their whole thinking starts to change and their whole programming starts to change. I've been in several business coaching programs that are much more results oriented and challenge oriented. I think that for an overachiever, I've learned that this is a tricky. This is tricky territory to run because you're actually on almost exacerbating their addiction. Right. You're enabling them. This is not very useful. It can be useful for a short time, get them some really great dopamine hits. But in my program, I don't want you to get dopamine hits. I want you to relax and be what you really are, and that'll take you the distance.

So powerful. Yeah, I think in reflection on that, too. And I agree with you where it does take that hustle, right? It does take Goal setting. And it does take to start a business, to get a business off the ground. It does take that. But if you are always going off the number, the number will keep changing.

Always.

Yeah. You know, it's like. And I talk about that how I always wanted to, you know, bring home a hundred thousand dollars in my salary. That was like my goal. Right. And I know a lot of my students, they want to get to their first a hundred thousand dollars year.

Yeah.

So you hit that and then you hit your 250, you hit your 300, 500,000. You hit a million dollars. I mean, and I speak about this too. When I hit a million dollars, I actually had a breakdown. Like, I went into full panic attack, walked out into the woods, out of my in laws house, crouched down behind a rock, like, had to get grounded. I was like, what is wrong with me right now? Because my brain and my body could not hold. It was like, am I safe? Am I finally safe? Like, what do I do now that I've hit this number? That felt. And I think. And so that's when I actually doubled down and was like, all right, life coach, I'm going to speak to you once a week now. Right. And I was just like, I actually needed more mindset help than less. When I had almost hit this number where I thought, when I get there, I will be safe. When I get there, I will be successful, rich, wealthy. Anything that I'd ever imagined that that was the point of breakdown. Do you see that happening?

Most of us will do the exact opposite, especially my clients. They'll do the opposite. They'll just spend so much. And that is another form of lack. It's another form of rejecting the money. Believe it or not. Like, if you immediately, like, you get your first hundred dollar a month, I don't know, for example, and the first impulse is, let's redo the kitchen. Calcutta, marble everywhere. I mean, Saddam Hussein's got nothing on my kitchen. We're going to have every. We're gonna, we're gonna have marble on the floor. That's. That's literally you rejecting your own ease. But if it feels like nothing to you. My first, my first big break was actually not $100,000 a month. It was a $300,000 month, which was an amazing leap for me because, as you know, I was like, like, why is everybody else having an easy time with this and I'm not? And I remember by the time it arrived, I. It felt like nothing. It literally felt like nothing. And I said to Lee, who is my Director of operations. You should have a glass of champagne today. I will too. And back to work the next day. We just were ready for it. That is mindset. Mindset. That's ready and not thinking immediately. How can I take this off of me? This is the glory of mindset work. It's to really allow for more and to not care too much. I believe that since you and I met, I started to sort of fall off the mountain. I feel like most of my trajectory to get myself out of the abusive relationship and out of being broke and out of feeling helpless into entrepreneurship was first the reclamation and being somebody and showing the world that I could, you know, like Mrs. Maisel did. But now it's sort of. I can already start to see that like I'm the beginning of going to being nobody. It's a, it's a free fall and it's, it's great. It's really nice.

Yeah. To have the success that you want, whatever that looks like to you. But it doesn't have to be somebody. I mean, I have, you know, I have students that meet hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not millions of dollars. They have very few followers on social media. Right, you don't. We have all these metric points that we think we're measuring up against and that means something. And I feel so sad. I mean I'm also my 40s and these kids, like my teenage nephews were like, you know, these kids where they're like, I want to be, you know, a YouTuber and have X amount of followers and X amount of whatever and that is what success looks like to them. I was with this group of women where it was, I think we were anywhere between 20, in their 20s, all the way to like 60s and 70s. It was like a woman's retreat. And it was one where the. Each generation, I was in the 40s group, right. We all asked questions. So we had a question for the 20 year olds and I think the 60 year olds, the 20 year olds asked us, you know, the wise 40 year olds, what. How could, how did we actually pick something to stick with? How did we find our purpose and pick something to stick with? And I felt so sad for them at that point. Cause you know, like, look, I'm like, oh, they're gorgeous. If only they knew how gorgeous they were and how great they are. You know those thoughts you have when you wish you had your 20 year old self body at least back. That's really sad because they are exposed to so many things and so many things that are maybe not Necessarily grounded. And this aspiration of something that's out of context versus what you're saying is sort of like, what is your true fulfillment? Like, how do you get to that? But I think especially with what you said, and we were just at temple, my son's gonna get bar mitzvahed and we were, you know, like the rabbi had a bunch of the sixth graders there and we were all talking about stuff and he was talking about the phases of what you're supposed to learn at 5 and what you're supposed to learn at 10 and then 40. And that's why in Kabbalah, like in Judaism, Kabbalah, you're not really supposed to practice mystic until you're in your 40s.

Until you're in your 40s, yeah.

Because that's when you can understand more. And so everyone's on this journey and I think what, however old you are right now, listening or wherever you are in your journey of self realization or stoicism or mindset work or whatever it is, know that you're listening to this episode, you're gonna read this book because it landed in your lap at the right time for you on your journey and to give yourself that time because it's not too late. Like Martha Stewart started in her 40s when she created, you know, her company. There's not a too lateness. And if you're younger, amazing that you're able to get this information at such a young age. Because you and I, we didn't have podcasts and the Internet.

There were no podcasts, cell phones. When I was, when I was in my 20s, there were no podcasts.

No.

No. I also think it's a natural question to ask in your 20s because you're so like bogged down by the linearity of the cultural dictum to just pick something. But what I say to 20 year olds all the time is who cares? It literally doesn't matter. Do something that you're. You genuinely have a preference towards and that will build your character and that surrounds you with people that you truly admire. That's pretty much it. Because you are sifting and sorting whether you like it or not. This is a sifting and sorting era. The people who think that it's going to hit them like a scroll from Sinai on the head and just bless you with your purpose in your 20s. I'm sorry, but there's like one Taylor Swift and no one else, everybody else is going to do it the old fashioned way, which is by navigating the waters of this world and you will be so much richer for it, because as we say in Kabbalah or in judaism, until you're 40, you're basically walking as a half a soul. This Earth. When you are 40, you receive the other half and everything starts to line up. There is nothing wrong with taking this time. Even Carl Jung said that everything's a dress rehearsal until you turn 40. Right. This is really a great thing. Take the time and enjoy it, because it's the most important part of the journey.

So, you know, sort of to move forward. What do you want? What do you want listeners to take away the most from this episode, from us speaking today? And why do you want them to hear this from you today day in particular?

I want people to understand that their life should feel good to them. That is my number one mission in this life, is to understand that your life should feel good to you. You came here to have a really good life, to have a really good time. I believe that everyone should feel good most of the time. Not all of the time, but most of the time. And that if you are not feeling good and your expectations are not being met and your results are not what you want, then you can do it. I know that not everybody will, but I think anybody can. That's the stamps of Coach. And if. If you're willing to do the work, all I can say is listen. I recommend my life with all my heart, and I hope everybody gets it. That's. That's pretty much it. That's. The job is to share this with everybody else.

So beautiful. So share with us how we can follow you and work with you and also get your book.

Well, Jacqueline and I are principally connected on Instagram, like all millennials. And that's on at Coach Karen. Karen is spelled with two e's. That's pretty important. I'm not a Karen. Get it. And you can buy or. Or order gilded on break freewithgilded.com or just gilded by Karen Eldad on Amazon like everybody else. That's the principal ways to enjoy me. I'm also on KarenLDad.com if anybody ever wants to talk about anything else.

Amazing. And I love to get the audible or the down, like the audiobook and the book at the same time. It's fun to read them together, to read them separate. Like, sometimes I'll listen on walks.

I'm listening back up on the book. It's coming in March, and I will be listening alongside you.

Yeah.

I'll be like, oh, my God, I did write that. Wow.

I know. Did I say that. Yeah. No, so good. So thank you so much for sharing everything. I'm. Congratulations again on your book.

Thank. Thank you for having me. Thank you.

Of course. Follow Karen and let me know how much you love her book. As much as I love it.

Thanks, y'. All.

Thank you.