Self-love means choosing actions that serve your best self, not short-term pleasures that undermine long-term joy. Figure out what you truly want by reflecting during high-energy moments like after a workout, then build habits around that vision. Discipline like early rising and meditation compound into confidence and free mental energy for what matters.
Chapters
The answer to where your focus should always be pointed to is on self-love. That's when you don't know what to think about, or you don't know what to learn about, or you don't know what to focus your attention on. It should be focused on doing what's right for you. On doing what will make your life better. And that means living in the present moment and making decisions that a high-energy version of yourself would want you to make. So not making impulsive decisions, not making decisions for short-term pleasure that results in a loss of long-term joy, making decisions that result in long-term joy and bliss and love in your life. So sometimes people don't really know what that direction is, or, you know, what they, what they really want. And a little tip that I use is I think about what I want when I'm in a high-energy state, when I'm working out or taking a walk, which I'm doing right now. Or feeling really excited about something, or, you know, after a really good meditation, that's when I'll think about what I want, my behaviors, my routines, my relationships. When I'm in a high-energy state, that's the best version of myself. That, that person, that version of myself wants things. Let's say that person wants to wake up at 5 AM. And meditate for an hour and work out for an hour and get things done. But myself at 5 AM is not that person. Myself after a stressful situation in which my body is responding to stress hormones is not the same person as my high energy self. So that person often wants to do things that involve short-term pleasure, sleeping in longer, Staying in that warm bed. So short-term and pleasurable. But which one of those two decisions would make you more joyful in the future? Not saying that waking up early is the answer, although I love to. My point is that if you believe that it's the answer and you have the opportunity to enforce that within yourself, if you have the opportunity to stick to what your high-energy self wants to do, in the long run, your life's going to— it's just gonna be better, quite simply. So giving up short-term pleasures for long-term joy is a really good tool for self-love. Sometimes people are confused when they hear the term self-love. Is it, I love myself, so I'm gonna eat this cupcake? Or Is it, I love myself, so I'm going to eat the meal that I know is better for me in the long term? Well, it could be a combination. But before you know what the answer is, you need to know what you want in life. In order to know what you want in life, you have to think about it when you're in a high energy state. So there's another value to knowing what you want in your life and then continuously pushing yourself to do the things that you know you want. And that's called being true to yourself, right? If you know something's good for you and you do it, you're being true to yourself. You're doing what's best for you. And that has a compounding effect, and that's really important to note. That being true to yourself once is great, twice is better, 3 times is even better. But twice is more than 2 times as good as once. 3 times is more than 3 times as good as once. It compounds. You start to build new confidence, which actually makes those tougher decisions easier. So you're not battling with yourself, which leaves room in your mind for more energy to be creative and think more. So if you're not going back and forth, should I wake up? Should I go back to sleep? I don't know. Oh, but it's so comfortable. 10 more minutes. But instead, you're like, nope, that's my mind talking. I'm up. I'm ready. Feel good. Which version of you is going to think of that next good idea? Or which version of you is going to feel that next good emotion? So there's a compounding effect of being true to yourself. And being true to yourself builds confidence for many reasons. But Most importantly, because if you can do what you know is best for yourself, don't you think you'll have confidence to have ability to do what's best for a project or a group or something you're working on or a business? So by being true to yourself, you believe in yourself. So when somebody gives you an opportunity and you think you can do it, that confidence is going to ooze out of you. You know, I've been waking up at 5 AM every morning for the last 14 days. Can I do this? Hell yeah! Or, I've been wanting to wake up but I haven't. Can I do this? Well, I don't know because I wasn't able to do what was right for myself. So being true to yourself has a compounding effect and on top of the compounding effect, it builds confidence. So, When you think about loving yourself then, what do you want to be? Do you want to be someone with confidence, moves through life smoothly, that doesn't waste their energy on drama and problems and victimization? Or do you want to be the opposite? Well, I would assume you want to be the one who's confident and life feels like it's happening for them instead of against them. But many of us don't. It starts with being true to yourself. That's the The root builds confidence, builds happiness, and ultimately that's how you love yourself.
