7 Dimensions of Self-Care with Dr. Chavonne Perott

Hello, hello! Welcome to my live business page. This is Jennifer Dent, your health and success coach, and I'm excited to be here with Dr. Siobhan Peratt.

Hello, hello!

And we're going to get started. I'm just going to do the, of course, quick tech check, wait for people to join live, make sure we are A-okay, people can hear me. You can hear me, right?

I can hear you perfectly.

Yeah, that's important. And you look glamorous.

I figured I would wear like a little bedazzling necklace, you know, for the looks, the luxe life of Jennifer. It works, it works.

All right, here we go. We're, we're live. All right, so I'm excited to talk to you today, and this is like a very, very special occasion, um, because I don't normally do like these kind of one-off interviews, but I thought this is such an important topic, it's such an important event, and I, I absolutely love, love, love, love, love your events. I wanted to share with everyone what the Glam Event is, what you do, what they can and why self-care is so important, even though we as women tend to neglect ourselves terribly, terribly. You are giving us an out. So why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Yes, absolutely. I am thrilled to do that. So hello everyone, I am Dr. Siobhan Farad. I am a marriage and life coach And in a nutshell, what I do is I help women to create happier and more loving marriages without having to make over the husband. Oh my gosh, it's like a miracle that it's possible. That I believe that so much of what happens in relationship, not only within marriage, but in any relationship or any circumstance in your life, that your happiness is really a function of yourself and your own mindset, your own decisions, your own perceptions. And so I help women maintain a more positive outlook around any situation happening in their lives. So Nisha is saying she can't hear me. Oh, Nisha, sorry, we can hear you.

We can hear each other. Let me see, uh, I'm gonna pull it up on my phone.

Okay.

Oh no, I forgot I deleted Facebook from my phone.

I can pull it up on my phone for the week. Yeah, one second, for one second. Let me see.

Hold on, Naisha.

So we're there. Okay, so there is a little bit of a delay.

Yeah, and I can hear it on my—

yeah, I can hear it on my phone.

Yeah, Naisha, maybe it's just your settings. Maybe she needs to off and try again because I just tried it on my laptop and I can hear us. Yeah, that's your phone, right? Yeah.

So I just put a thing in other sphere, so let's see what they said. Okay. Um, sorry about that. Yeah, hopefully it comes through.

And you know, I'm always like wary of the technology because sometimes it works perfectly and other times it's like, oh my goodness, you know what's going on. So if you guys, if other people can hear us, just let us know so we can continue.

Yeah. So that's what I do. And I am also an author. That is a new title for me because I just wrote a book that was released this summer. It's called Voices in Your Ear: New Conversations to Transform Your Marriage. Good. So Tanya can hear us. Awesome. Good, good, good. Thank you. So yeah, so that's a little bit about me. And you know, I'm on this self-care kick now for a variety of reasons. One, because I need it. So for those of you, this is your first time ever hearing from me or knowing me. I have a 1 and a 3-year-old.

Adorable, by the way.

They are, they are pretty adorable, but they are also pretty active, pretty intense, and very dear children. But because of that, right, like life is a little bit chaotic. I run my own business. I, you know, I'm a wife. I have lots of other things that I'm involved in. And I found that, you know, having children so close in age back to back that, you know, and then transitioning out of the regular 9 to 5 to being at home with them, having a home-based business, that my identity was a little bit fuzzy. It's like, wait a minute, I'm having all these transitions, transition to motherhood, the transition out of working a traditional 9 to 5, the transition into entrepreneurship. And I found that, you know, without taking moments to collect myself, without taking moments to be intentional about my own self-care practices, taking care of me, and making sure that my cup was full, that I was not the best me for them and for anyone else that was a part of my life. And so I've begun to really be on this very intentional and intense, in some ways, self-care journey where it's sort of like, I have to take care of me first so that I can better take care of those that I love in my life. And so, um, And that is sort of what I've been speaking a lot about lately. And I think it's important, you know, not only as a mother, but also as a wife and as someone who promotes healthy relationships, healthy marriages, that again, any area of your life is going to thrive when you are thriving on the inside emotionally, mentally, spiritually, as well as physically. And so self-care is such an important topic. And I'm really excited that you bent the rules a little bit, Jennifer, and have allowed me this space to speak with your audience about it.

Well, it's a very common topic of things we talk about in my community too, in the Stop Dieting Forever accountability group. Self-care, super important, just because I am an entrepreneur too. I don't have any kids. I don't know how you do it with the two kids on top of having a business and a husband. And I know that when I don't take good care of myself, it shows terribly. Apparently.

And bad news for everyone.

Yeah, yeah, bad news for everyone. And it's something that we know, like, okay, yes, I need to take care of myself, but we have to force ourselves to do it, right? We have to force ourselves to make time to, like, sit back, relax, take 10 minutes to just focus on nothing but our breathing, focus on ourselves. And this is an everyday thing. It's not like, oh, once a quarter I'm going on vacation.

No, right?

Self-care is continuous. It's every day. Every day.

Absolutely. And it's not selfish, which I think is part of the issue. So glad, Nisha, that you can hear us. I think we see it as selfish, right? Like, I can't take the time away. I don't have time to take time for myself. And I like to say you don't have time not to take time for yourself. And I think with that, and I can get started with some of the points too, is that I think it's important for us to begin to have an expanded view of what self-care means. And so, you know, it's become this very cool and in thing to talk about, right? You see all the hashtags like #SelfCareSaturday, #SelfCareSunday. Whatever, right? And, you know, I think when it comes to self-care, and I'd love to hear even from the audience that's watching, like, what does it mean and what does it really look like? And I think a lot of times we do think about, you know, like, the specific things that we do, like maybe going to get our nails done, maybe a massage, maybe hanging out with friends. And all of that is true and all of that is a part of it, but As I have talked more and more with women and as I've begun to do my own research about what self-care really means, there's so much more to it than I think we're even aware of. And I was really intrigued by some of the literature that I found about these 7 dimensions of self-care, which I'll share with you all briefly and really encourage you to sort of think about like which one of those is like new to you that you haven't even really thought about? You haven't even like—

All of them for me. I can't wait to hear them.

No, I mean, I know some of your practices. I wouldn't say none of them. Like one for sure, I know you do pretty regularly. So yeah, so we can definitely get right into them. So the first one, and this is actually quite simple, and I think probably the easiest one to incorporate daily into our lives is it's called sensory self-care. And so what that means is you attend to one of the five senses. So that's your sense of taste, touch, hearing, seeing, or smelling. And one of the things I personally like to do, like I'm an auditory person, I am very much moved by music. And so literally just starting your day or incorporating music into your day, some song that lifts your spirits, some song that makes you feel empowered or inspired or motivated. That is a self-care practice. And so you can just pick a song of the day, or you can pick the same song every single day or for a week or whatever, and listen to it and really like give yourselves the gift of that 3 to 4 minutes of listening to that song uninterrupted. That can be self-care. Another type of sensory self-care, again, is attending to the sense of smell. So literally like lighting a candle, like buying your favorite candle, and lighting it and just sitting in the room with that candle, letting it, you know, there's so many aromatherapy things now that you can use. Getting fresh air, getting outside for like 5 minutes. I know it's about, it's getting cold in the Northeast and in other areas, and so like we're probably like literally just running to our car, but you know, taking 5 minutes to like breathe.

Actually, you know what I do? Because it is cold, I'm in Philly. What I do in the morning when I turn the alarm off and like open the curtains and everything, I open the front door and I just stick my head out and just take a deep breath of air. And that kind of just like— Self-care.

Yeah, that's it. That's it. So you— all right, so you have two because I haven't even gotten to the one that I know that you do. So that's sensory self-care briefly. And again, it's attending to One or more of the five senses. Another thing, touch, right? Touch is a sense. And hugging, just giving a hug, giving someone a hug. And research again shows that like 20 seconds or longer, there's something about that that literally releases those feel-good hormones in our bodies. So that's something else you can do. Make it a point to hug someone every day or listen to a song or breathe some fresh air or light a candle. So that, is an easy one that I like to start with because I think that's something that most people can integrate into their lives on a pretty consistent and regular basis.

Yeah, it's definitely easy. Okay, so good.

I know that's number one, right? Number two is one that we're probably a little bit familiar with too, is pleasure. Just having fun. And now I have to say, you know, especially having the smaller children, and I think any woman that has major responsibilities, that sometimes we feel like those responsibilities are all that we have to do, that we can't allow ourselves to be silly, to have fun, to like let our hair down and play, right? And so creating opportunities to do that is really important. And for me personally, this is something I had to pay attention to because when my children were born, I actually stopped watching TV because it's like, You know, you wanna be like the parent that's like, okay, I don't want my kids addicted to TV. That was with my first child. My second child, as is common, that's not the case at all. But what I have to say is, you know, I got out of the habit of watching TV, and TV was something that I loved to do. Like, my husband was so shocked. He's like, you haven't watched TV? I'm like, no, I haven't watched TV. And so, but what I began to realize was that by excluding that from my life, telling myself I don't have time for that, like I need to be, especially as I was starting my business, I need to be reading, I need to be consuming some information, or I need to be doing some enriching activity with my kids, or I need to be connecting with someone, that I didn't create enough space to actually have fun, to have a little bit of downtime and to have fun. Now I think, you know, as with eating and nutrition, everything in moderation, right? You don't wanna tip the scales too much where you become a couch potato and you, you know, spend more time on your DVR, you know, recording than living life and engaging and being present with those that you love, but creating a little bit of space to have fun. And so maybe that's not TV for you. Maybe that's going bowling. Maybe that's going to the movies. Maybe that's, you know, taking a dance class or going out with a friend. Whatever the case is, try to be intentional about incorporating fun into you're weak, right? So that's something like maybe every day you can't like laugh your head off and have—

you can't go to happy hour every day.

I know, exactly. You can't have happy hour every day, maybe once a week, just integrate it.

Or once a month.

Yeah, yeah, that's fine too. So that's that. And number 3 is, um, what I call sort of like the mental stimulation/intellectual form of self-care. And what this is about is it's about stimulating your mind. And the way to do that, that's suggested, is to learn something new. Now, one of the things I love about the day and age that we live in is that learning something new is literally a Google away or a YouTube video away. I have a really good friend who was always interested in like learning how to do makeup. So that's what she did, YouTubed it and figured it out. I actually have a friend who's a makeup artist who does makeup classes. That's something that I personally have always been interested in. I'm like, I'm gonna take one of her classes, I'm gonna learn how to do makeup. So learning something new that you've always wanted to learn, that mental stimulation and activation of your brain cells, that is self-care. Another side, which is an interesting side to this sort of mental intellectual, is to also do a task that has been hanging over your head, right? So I think all of us at one point or another are a little bit guilty of procrastination. And what that does to your mind is it actually creates a lot of clutter and it creates a little bit of a heaviness because in the back of your mind, you're living your life, you're trying to do other things, that nagging feeling like, man, I really need to like take care of that corner of my closet. I really need to take care of that corner of my living room. I really need to like wash out my refrigerator or reorganize my pantry or whatever, right? And so you can't like— there's— because that's hanging over your head, you can't even enjoy the other things you're trying to enjoy because you still feel guilty because you should be doing that. And so a self-care practice is to like take care of that thing that's been nagging you. Sometimes for me, it's like calling someone, it's like, man, you know, you get that, you know, remembrance of that person. You're like, I really should call them. And then like, you can't right now because you're doing something. And then it like comes back to you. So whatever it is for you, right? All of us have something. You can think of it right now. You know exactly what it is, right? Something that is occupying space in your mind because you haven't done it. And as soon as you take care of it, you have this sense of accomplishment. You have this freedom, you're like, the weight is lifted. It's like, I've done it, I'm proud of myself, now I can move on. So that's another side of sort of the mental intellectual aspect of self-care.

I never thought about that as being a form of self-care.

Yeah, it's kind of interesting because it feels like a, like a task. It feels like, oh my gosh, like I gotta do this, this is one more thing on my to-do list. Now shift it into that self-care category because you're liberating your mind to create, to create more space for more creativity, for more fun and enjoyment and fulfillment in other areas of your life. So yeah, it is excellent. These are good.

These are good. I hope you ladies are writing these down.

I was really excited when I discovered them. I'm like, I want to share this with everyone because it was eye-opening for me. So number 4, and this is the one that I'm pretty sure you do, Jennifer, because we talk about this together, is spiritual self-care. And so that can look a lot of different ways to a lot of different people. I think a lot of times, you know, for those of us who grew up in a religious family or grew up in the church, it's sort of like you do the regimen and you do like the rituals of church and whatever your religious affiliation is. But I really like to look at spiritual self-care as connecting with the source of your life, connecting with your creator. And that can include your own prayer time, your own meditation time, your own worship time, like whatever that looks like for you. It doesn't have to fit into a certain box. But I think it's really important to incorporate that into our lives. I think there was some study that talked about how I think the average person prays, I want to say like 7 minutes a month. Oh, don't— maybe I can believe it.

I can believe it.

Maybe it's a week. Like, don't quote me on that. I could Google it and find out for sure. I think it's a week. I think it's 7 minutes. Let me give that— let me give that—

I can, I can believe it because I've recently heard it called a spiritual laziness. You know exactly what I'm talking about.

But I think, yeah, right, you say your grace and like you may say like a person's prayer before you go to bed and then you're like asleep and you can be back. So this is not to chastise anybody because I too was really guilty of it. But what I find, again, self-care is about refueling, renewing your mind, your body, your spirit, and refueling yourself. And so How can you try to do that without connecting to the source of your life, right? And so I think that, you know, being intentional about incorporating just some quiet time, and, you know, it's amazing what that quiet time can do for you, like where you're literally doing nothing but just like getting into the presence of God. Um, and so that is a really important form of self-care that I think we all should just be a little bit more conscious of. And one of the things I know for myself when it comes— when it came to like developing a habit of like quieting my mind and like seeking God for answers and being still, I didn't know how to do that, right? Like we're busy, like we just move, move, move, move, move. Like I pray because I— it's like one-way communication, right? It's like, God, thank you, right? We may say the thank you, but then really we want something. And we don't know how to quiet our minds and be still to like receive an answer or receive some insight or some wisdom that we need to carry us forward, and we don't know how to be still. And so there are easy ways to do that. I think part of it, again, back to that sensory self-care, is just listening to music. Like, I have an instrumental track that I listen to, and I just like sit there and listen to it, and I focus on my breathing, but I'm not like, okay, I gotta breathe this way, I gotta like focus on my toes. Like, I think sometimes we shy away from meditation because it seems so hard, and it doesn't. It's just being quiet and being still. And if we look at it only as that, then maybe that's something we can commit to doing and try it for 90 seconds, try it for 2 minutes, and then increase incrementally along the way. And you'll find you can sit for— I know people who sit for hours and I wish I had like 4 hours at one time to do it sometimes. I think I'm up to like 30 to 45 minutes right now. Oh, that's great, that's good. It's come with a lot of practice, but I feel amazing when it's over. I'm like, I'm just a joy to be around.

It's called a meditation practice for a reason, because you need to practice it. It's like a muscle that needs to be worked out daily. And you know, I love meditation. I love meditation.

See, I knew you would be able to check that one off.

Yes, definitely, definitely.

And then the fifth, uh, form of self-care is just emotional self-care. And I think, you know, this is really important because a lot of times I feel like we are reactive. A lot of times we operate on autopilot that Certain things happen in our lives, certain people do things that trigger us in certain ways and we respond in certain ways and we don't really take the time to pause and actually reflect on why that's happening for us in that way, why we're responding that way, and we don't really take the time to pause and reflect and think about how we can be more intentional. I am a big proponent, this is what I do, what I help women do about How are you? How can you be more intentional about who you are? Like, who do you really want to be? Like, are you being the person you really want to be? And I think being able to develop a skill of self-reflection is so important in that emotional health, in that emotional aspect of self-care. And I think one of the simplest ways to begin to develop and build that muscle and cultivate that skill is by journaling. And now let me tell you, I am one of those women who like, I like really pretty things. So you know, you go to Barnes Noble or you're like at HomeGoods or like some random place and you see all these journals, I'm like always buying journals, always buying journals, always excited about the next journal. And I'll write in it for like 3 days and then like it's cast aside. And I think that's okay too, right? I think part of self-care is being compassionate and loving to yourself and accepting where you are. But you know, the more you can develop a journaling habit as a form of emotional self-care, the better. And it can literally be something that takes you one second to do. Jennifer, I love your monthly challenges. And we've talked about this before, how I think it was back in October, I started the habit of writing out the things that I was grateful for. Yes! Love that!

Yes!

Yes! That challenge really helped me do that, and I started, you know, I just decided that I was gonna do 10 things because I really wanted to stretch myself. But maybe you don't have to do 10 things. Maybe it's just 1 thing each day. And I promise you, even writing out the 10 things, it takes me less than 3 minutes to do that. And a lot of times we think of journaling as some big cumbersome process, and, you know, just leave the journal right by your bed, have the pen there, and literally just make a commitment for a particular point, you know, period of time that you're just gonna write one thing in your journal. It doesn't have to be gratitude if that's not, um, super helpful for you, although I do personally believe, like, gratitude is the cure-all for everything. You just be like a snapshot of your day, like, this is what I accomplished today, or this is what I'm hoping to accomplish tomorrow. But getting in the habit Connecting with yourself through reflection is really important and a key part of self-care as well.

Can I add on one thing to that about journaling? Yeah, absolutely. And I'm a big proponent of journaling. And like you, I had a stack of beautiful journals that are just scattered around my office and around the bedroom. But I just recently started journaling in Evernote. And I never really used Evernote like that before, um, but I just created like a notebook called the Gratitude Notebook. I have a Blessings Notebook. I have a Daily Musings Notebook where I just kind of journal whatever is on my mind, um, and I've been loving that. So I can type faster than I can write. I can use it on my phone or I can use it on my laptop, and it's been working perfectly for me. So if you're, you know, not a handwritten type of person, um, you know, there's always an electronic option as well. But I know there's some proponents, right? I don't know if you're like a write it down, pen to paper type of—

I know, right? They're, you know, I think starting where you are is perfect. That's what I'm gonna say. Like, I have a thousand notes on my phone. I have an iPhone, so the Notes tab has like a million and one. So So if that's the easiest place for you who are watching to start, absolutely. And that's where I started. I found it really helpful to write it down. There is research about pen to paper, the impact of that, that I won't even get into now, but just start somewhere. Like wherever you are, just start somewhere. Grab a Post-it note. And I think you'll see the difference because it is— that is how you become a self-reflective person is taking a moment to pause. Pause and write out the things that are on your mind. Yeah, Evernote. Hey Simone! It's so good to see you here with us. Yes, yes, yes. So number 6 is something that Jennifer, you promote a lot, and that's physical, physical self-care. And so what I always like to say about this, and I think you would agree, is that physical self-care does not mean like you have to go run a marathon. It doesn't mean you need to hire a personal trainer, be at the gym 5 hours a day. Day. Now I am the biggest proponent of just moving your body for— and again, I'm not the health coach, so you correct me, Jennifer— I like to suggest people just start with 10 minutes. That really worked for me, especially, you know, when we had our second child. Just like 10 minutes, like I feel like most people can find 10 minutes and to 10 minutes of moving your body. And I started with like YouTube walking videos because I was like, I gotta do something easy, I gotta do something quick. I can't sign up for, you know, the school exercise, you know, program, but like a quick 10-minute walk, I can do that. I can do that. And it really, again, you want to get those endorphins coming in your bloodstream and you get the sense of accomplishment and then you're like, okay, well I can consistently do 10 minutes, like let me up it to like 15 next week. So that is just, you know, just an example. I think other aspects of physical self-care is getting enough sleep, which again, that's an area that I continue to grow and develop in.

Well, it's hard because you have 2 kids. Like, are they even sleeping through the night?

It is. Yes, it is. I mean, there's just, you know, sometimes, and I'm sure all of us feel this way, whether you have children or not, that sometimes it doesn't seem like there's enough hours in the day. And what I find though, when you get that feeling, it's actually a sign that you need to pause and you need to take something about it, right? Like we were not meant to have this hustle, hustle, hustle, move, move, move, busy, busy, busy lifestyle. We created that for ourselves based on a lot of other stuff, based on expectations, based on perfectionism. Based on making our worth a function of our accomplishments. And it has to stop. So I find that whenever I'm feeling rushed, whenever I'm feeling like I got to go, go, go, go, go, it's actually time to pause. And I would encourage all of us to think of it that way, like, oh, I'm doing too much. I don't have to do all this. Let me take a step back, put something on the back burner. And go from there.

Can I share? May I share on this topic? Is— and I've, you know, I've shared this with you, but this week I am taking complete self-care of myself because I realized I was going into a place where I didn't like with this business. And, you know, just running on high and just trying to do everything and waking up 4:30 and not getting enough sleep and just trying to do juggle 8 million balls at one time. Um, I just decided since my birthday is on Friday, let me be intentional about how I'm walking into the next year of my life. Yeah, for me, and it's only been 2 days, this is the second day. Um, I guess it's been Sunday, so I've been fasting, praying, not working, social media fast. Um, have not just— this been like reading a lot, praying a lot, meditating, walking. I've been working out, getting back in the gym, and I just feel so much better. And it's only been 2 days.

2 days.

Yeah. And yeah, I'm just kind of just setting myself up for a success for my birthday.

Well, happy early birthday to you. And I think it's really I mean, that's profound, like 2 days, right? And sometimes it doesn't even take that. But I know I went away, like a friend of mine had a birthday party and I drove to visit and it was a weekend. Like I stayed overnight and came back home, but it was a 6-hour car ride. And in that 6-hour car ride, I did, you know, really a lot of what you described. I like prayed, I meditated, I really like, you know, had the car totally to myself. Silence if I wanted to. And when I got back home, I was like a completely different person. I was just so excited to see my family. I was so calm and at peace and like, I don't have to rush to do anything. Like, everything's gonna get done, the things that need to get done. And it was amazing and liberating feeling. So yeah, that weekend, or like two, like two days for you, like major, major difference. Um, and then the last The last thing that I'll say in terms of self-care is the seventh thing, which is social self-care. And I don't think we think of socializing and connecting with other people as self-care. I think especially in this day and age where we have like mock socialization through social media, there's nothing that really replaces face-to-face. There's nothing that truly replaces voice-to-voice, right? Text, message. All of that is fine and it has its place, but I think the more we can carve out time connecting person to person, the more we are actually seen and heard and understood, and the more we can see, hear, and understand other people. And I know, you know, I, I know that your audience is, you know, our generation, that a lot of times we, we evolve, right? This is a huge period of evolution and growth and shedding old identities and building new ones. And sometimes that means that people that were a part of our lives in our 20s or teenage years, you know, they haven't— they aren't progressing with us. And it's hard to find like-minded women who have the same mindsets, who are going in the same direction, who have the same values that we do. And it's really important to seek out and connect with like-minded women and participate in opportunities that provide that experience. You walk away so refreshed, you walk away learning things. You know, there's a quote that talks about like, you are the sum, I think, of the 5 people you interact with most frequently. And so who's in your circle, right? Do you have the right people in your circle? Are they headed the way, the direction that you want to go? And if not, you know, what ways can you be intentional about connecting with others that are headed in that same direction? So that social self-care is super important too. Getting out, meeting new people, phone calls. I literally remember, again, you know, coming off of having the two children, it's a little bit of an isolating time period. And so my husband and I did this exercise. He was like, okay, I want you to think of like 5 to 10 friends that you can call and like just have them on rotation. Like this week you call this person, this week you call the other person. And it was like such a great idea. And it was amazing. You know, it's sort of like you have, all of us have the friend you call for this and the friend that's really funny. And so you call for this. And so I think taking a moment to just take stock and think about your own circle of friends, like, okay, like have I actually spoken on the phone phone with this person recently and making it a point to do that. So those are the 7 types of self-care. I'll just— so sensory, pleasure, mental, spiritual, emotional, physical, and social.

I love all of them. I could talk about all of them.

I mean, I found—

I do want to expound on the last one though, the social because I have, you know, we're so busy, like you said, we're always like connecting via text message or just, you know, missing each other, not having that voice-to-voice interaction. I have one really good childhood friend, she's in Michigan, and we literally have to schedule video conferences to talk, but that's how we connect because otherwise we would go months without even like text message or just like a, hey, what's going on with you? Sometimes that's just what you have to do.

Yeah, so true. So true. I was actually on the verge— I actually texted a friend of mine. I said, we could do Skype. She's like an hour away from me, but our schedules were not just lining up. But I was like, I need to see your face. I need to feel like we're sitting at a table together.

So yeah, that's what you got to do. And then of course, you know, sometimes pick up the phone and call. Siobhan, you're really really good at that, just picking up the phone and being like, hey. And I have to share with everyone, Siobhan is a newer friend, right? You're probably like my newest friend as an adult. Sometimes we think as women, like, we have our clique from high school or from college and we don't need new friends and we don't need to connect with new people. And that couldn't be farther from the truth. Um, Siobhan and I, I think we connected this year. Was it earlier this year?

It was earlier this year. I want to say it was probably like February.

Yeah, and we just started chatting on Messenger, and then it was like, oh, we have a lot in common. Like, well, let's hop on a call, you know, once a week. Then it was like, oh, we exchanged phone numbers, and it was like, wow, like, you know, she's in my phone book now.

Like dating friends.

Yeah, it's like dating friends. And I was like, but we have so much in common, um, we are linked in so many different areas. This is like natural that we would connect and get along as well as we do. So I appreciate you for reaching out and connecting.

Of course, I am glad that you were receptive.

Yeah, yeah. So let's talk about self-care in a marriage and what does that look like and why is that important.

Yeah, really, really good question. And I think it goes back to the point that I mentioned before about when you were thriving, like every aspect of your life thrives. And I think a lot of times, unfortunately, what happens in a marriage or in any relationship, um, a lot of times we look for the other person to complete us emotionally, right? So I have a need, I need to feel affirmed, I need to feel valued, I need to feel loved. And those needs, again, I'm not knocking them. I think they're valid. I think they're important. But a lot of times we look for others to fulfill areas in our lives and voids in our lives. That we haven't really done the work in first. And I think getting in the habit of doing these self-care practices and rituals and attending to all of these 7 dimensions just makes us a more whole and complete person so that anyone else in our life, whether it be a husband, a friend, a loved one, is complementing us rather than competing with us. And so I think we have to fill our own cups first and anyone else in our life is really like an added accessory, an added bonus to that. And I think it's really important, especially within a marriage, because a lot of times there will be those dips where you're not connecting as well, or you're not in tune with each other, you're not getting the affirmation you would like, or the affection, or the attention you want from your spouse. And if you're not complete and whole within yourself, you could really get crushed by those moments. And not know what to do at all. So I think it's really important to stay grounded in who you are and to really work on being whole within yourself first.

Love that. So can we, can we, can we talk about the glam event and how we'll talk about the 7 principles of self-care? And if anyone's head is spinning right now because they're like, how am I going to incorporate all of this stuff? In my life, my life is crazy chaotic. How is the Glam Event going to help us?

Oh my gosh, the Glam Event checks them off in like 36 hours. 36 hours of time, you can check all of these things off and walk away with tools and tips and ways to continue incorporating it into your life. So the Glam Event, I like, feel like a kid on Christmas Day. The Glam Event, or the Glam Getaway, is a one night away. Hey ladies, like one night away, you deserve one night away. And essentially what it is, is it's all that self-care stuff wrapped into one. So GLAM actually stands for God's Love Lies in Me. And this is an experience that I would say is really a gift to yourself, but it's really about connecting to who you are at your core. And at our core as human beings, as children of God. We are loved. And I think a lot of times we have circumstances, issues, challenges, problems that put all these walls and barriers and, you know, mold us into becoming, um, a little cynical, a little hard, a little, you know, disappointed. And Glam is really about filling your cup back up, refueling, re-energizing, um, yourself by first pressing pause on the busyness of life. You just got to sort of step away from the regular routine for just a moment. Number 2 is that it allows you to tune into yourself, to like really self-reflect, learn about yourself, understand who you are, who you've been being, and who you want to be. And number 3, it enables you to reconnect to the source of your life, to your creator, to God. And so the way that we do that is really multifaceted. And again, it does speak to all of these 7 dimensions. So it is December 8th and 9th, which is like 2 and a half weeks away, um, in New Jersey, in Northern New Jersey. Yeah, I'm so excited. And, um, the Friday night is like— it attends to the fun, it attends to like probably most of these things, it tends to the social connection. Um, essentially what it is is we have like this mixer meet and greet welcome reception. We're gonna have amazing passe hors d'oeuvres, we're gonna have all the pampering and like beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful things that a luxe lady like you all deserve. We're gonna have massage, we're gonna have a makeup artist for mini makeovers, we have a stylist teaching you how to dress for your body type, we're gonna have— oh, a health coach! Hmm, so I know what it does. We're gonna have a health coach providing you with some awesome health recommendations, helping you understand what's getting in the way of your weight loss goals. We're gonna have a— yes, in Newark, Simone, it is in Newark. We're gonna have personality assessments. One of the things when I do my events, I always ask people, I'm like, who are you? And I think as women, we define ourselves by our roles, and not based on like who we really are. So we're gonna have the opportunity for you to get some insight into who you really are as a person based on your personality type, your preferences, things like that. So that is Friday, and I'm so excited about it. We're gonna professional photos, we'll have amazing vendors with some incredible, incredible products. Um, so that is Friday. Then Saturday we start early morning if you're a morning person where if you really want to get in the habit of having a spiritual self-care practice, we're going to do prayer, meditation. I'm going to have a yoga instructor come where literally all you have to do is like come downstairs, she's going to bring the mats, she's going to teach us everything. So you'll have that, uh, available to you. And then Saturday mid-morning to the early afternoon is what I call the glam session, and that is where we are going to really become empowered, inspired, and equipped to be our best selves, to really let that love of God abide in us in every area of our lives. This event is for married, single, engaged, widowed, divorced— literally everyone will be there. Come on, come on, come on, come on! Exactly. And we have an incredible panel. We'll be doing some exercises. You'll be doing like this self-reflective work so you can really get in the habit and the practice of journaling and thinking about your thoughts and figuring out where you're headed, what you want to do. And I love having this event at this time of the year. And a lot of people have been like, Siobhan, why are you doing it? Like, December is so busy. It's Christmas in between Thanksgiving. And I'm like, what more perfect time? I am always super reflective. I promise you, like, this time of year, It's like you realize, oh my gosh, the year's almost over, like what have I done? Who have I been? Right, you think back to January and maybe you remember those New Year's resolutions, maybe you don't even remember them, but you know that you've reached this point in the year and there's a lot undone that you wanted to do, there's a lot that you wanted to work on that hasn't been accomplished. And so let's figure that out now, let's set you up for 2018 really being an incredible year where come this time next year, you're not sitting there thinking like, man, I can do this, and then I haven't really worked on that. And so I'm really excited about having it this time of year to really help us do what we're already doing anyways, because I find that most people are very reflective about their life, about their year around this time. And so let's do it within a safe space with like-minded women who are doing the same, who are encouraged and to support you and help you maintain accountability.

In a glamorous way.

In a glamorous way.

Glamorous?

Everything I do has to be some sparkle, some beautiful, like, bounce.

And I just have to say, I attended Siobhan's events and they are, and I am a former event planner, so I am super nitpicky as when I go to events, like, why do they have this here? What is this? Where is the signage? I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Where do I sit? None of that with Siobhan's event. It's just, you walk in, you're welcome, everybody's just happy and loving. You don't need to like bring your bestie or like know somebody there. Everyone's just like, it's like one big group virtual hug. Everything is beautiful, well thought out, um, just all of the accessories. It's, it's going to be literally a glamorous event. It's not anything you know, you should be kind of like hesitant about like, oh, I don't know this Siobhan lady. And I— take my word for it, it is going to be top-notch. And this is something you definitely don't want to miss. And if you're worried about going into January, this in 2018, the way you are now, or like Siobhan said, you know, thinking back to what you thought about in January 2017 and where you thought you would be and you're not there right now, This is the event you need to come to because you need to do something different. You need to do something different than what you did last year. Last year you did not attend a glam event. Last year you did not have professionals and experts leading you through what you need to think about, what you need to execute on as you go into the next year. You probably just kind of sat around and were like, oh, I think I want to do this next year. And what happened? Right? So why not do something radically different? Take yourself out of your normal routine, take yourself out of your little comfort box, take somebody, you know, give the kids to somebody, tell your husband, boyfriend, like, I'm out. Get on a plane if you need to, come to Newark, New Jersey, hang out with a group of beautiful like-minded women who are all wanting to do the same thing. Get in that energy. Get in that space, soak it all up, and then move into 2018 like nobody's business. Like, yeah, you got it. Yeah, I want to dance, right? So you guys can check out the page for more information. What can people do if they have more questions for you, Siobhan? They can type them in now, 'cause we're still sitting here talking.

Yeah, you guys—

But what if they have questions later?

Absolutely, type them in now. Even if you're watching the replay, we will come back and check this video. And then on the webpage, actually, my email is there, but if you guys, honestly, I'm one of those people on Facebook that's like, I will accept your friend request, or I will accept your direct message, and you can contact me directly. You can find me on Facebook, Siobhan Lenore Perrotte. I also have my business page, Relatable. You can find me there, you can message me there. If you have any questions at all, I'll be happy to respond to them.

So, parting words, right? How can we experience glam every day between like today or maybe tomorrow and leading up to the event? How can we add in a little bit of glam into our everyday life?

Yeah, it's, you know, I love the fact that, you know, glam has like two meanings, right? It has the glam with like all the glamour and the glamorous, and then it has the deeper meaning of God's love abiding in you. And so I will start with that first. And I think, you know, this really came to a head for me, this book I was reading. Jennifer, I know you've read it too, um, The Universe Has Your Back. By Gabrielle Bernstein, and she just really positioned life as really the choice of love in every situation, like letting love, love lead you and letting love guide you. And so I think when you have love for yourself, then you can really have true love for others. And so the question I would encourage all of us to be able to explore experience a little bit more glam in our lives on a daily basis is to ask yourself, how can I love myself more today? Like, what can I do to show love to myself more today? How can I be more compassionate, more kind, more understanding, more forgiving, um, of myself today? And I think when you ask yourself that question, your mind will go to work to answer, and you'll do those things, and you'll experience God's love abiding in you. You'll experience a glamorous, beautiful life, whatever that looks like for you. You know, maybe you're not a sparkles and dazzle person, and that's amazing and incredible. There will be women just like that at the event as well. But whatever glam means to you, you'll be able to experience it when you let love lead you and when you focus on how can I love myself more today. So that would be my part of the words.

Awesome, awesome reminder. I actually say put it on a Post-it note because we forget, right? You're listening to Siobhan, what she's telling you to do right now, and then it's like, oh, that's so lovely, I'm going to go to sleep. And you wake up in the morning, you're like beating yourself up because like, oh, I didn't wake up early to, you know, listen to music, I didn't wake up, I didn't journal today, and you're beating yourself up. And I think it's always a good reminder to write it on a Post-it note to gently remind yourself, right, not to beat yourself up, but to love yourself. Oh, put an alert on your phone, right, Siobhan? Yeah, it's always worked for me. Daily reminders.

Yeah, yeah.

Um, but I think that is awesome. I'm super excited. I'm going to be at the glam event. I want to see you ladies there in the place. If you have any questions, again, you can reach out to Siobhan. Email is on her page. Um, you can ask me if you need to because you know how to reach me. And I will funnel them to Siobhan, and we'll get you whatever answers you need.

Yeah, of course. Thank you, Jennifer. Thank you all for tuning in. Yeah, with you.

Yes, this is fun. This is fun. All right, ladies, you have a luxe evening, and I want you to share this replay with someone who needs to attend the glam event. And someone who needs to know how to practice self-care. And with that, we're out. See ya.

Bye.