EP. 124 Get Over Seasonal FOMO

Hey, LuxeLifer! It is happening! Enrollment into my life-changing lifestyle membership, Stop Dieting Forever, officially opens on Halloween, October 31st, after the delivery of my free 3-part video series, Holiday Help, which will begin on Monday, October 24th. Now the holiday season is quickly approaching and your concerns about holiday weight gain are quickly growing. I hear you. Y'all have been sending me what you struggle with during the holiday season, and I know the struggle. Every response that I get, I'm like, mm-hmm, yep, been there, mm-hmm, yep, understand. So I am here to help you. I want to teach you what I have learned about navigating the holiday season without gaining weight. Now I just wanna tell you right now, losing weight isn't something that you give up on just because the date on the calendar changes. Come on, y'all! Stop Dieting Forever is designed to teach you how to create a lifestyle that results in weight loss no matter what time of year it is. Got that? Because when you focus on changing your habits, You can't help but to continue to lose weight no matter whether it's November, December, January, or July. It doesn't matter. And if you can't wrap your head around not eating your favorite seasonal pies or sipping on a bubbly cocktail at every social gathering during the holiday season, you will be pleasantly surprised to learn inside Stop Dieting Forever that weight loss doesn't mean excluding the foods that you love. It actually means enjoying what you want, but doing so with intention. Y'all, traditional diets don't teach you how to eat with intention. They just teach you how to make quote unquote healthier versions of your favorite foods. I have to tell you, one year I tried to make cauliflower mac and cheese for my family's Christmas dinner, and the Dent family was not having it. My mother gave me that look like, didn't I raise you better than this? So I know it sounds counterintuitive to eat what you want and still be able to lose weight, but we know the alternative doesn't work, right? Cutting out all the things that you love to eat. So why not approach your favorite holiday foods differently this season? I've been teaching this approach to holiday weight loss and eating for years, and every year my clients are wowed and amazed. Now, it's your year to be wowed and amazed because I want you to learn how to experience the holiday season in the way that I do, in the way that my clients do. So inside Stop Dieting Forever, you will learn my game-changing weight loss process, which will solve 3 main holiday problems for you. The first one is how to enjoy your holiday dinners without being fearful. That you're going to overeat. And not just at dinner, in the days after the holiday too. It's going to help you solve the problem of how to politely decline foods that you know you don't want to eat, but you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so you end up eating it anyway. And it's also going to help you figure out how to not give up on yourself and just give in to laying around and eating whatever you want during the holiday break. Remember, Weight loss doesn't have to stop just because the date on the calendar changes. So as a member of Stop Dieting Forever, I will give you all of the tools. I will teach you the mindset practices to help you enjoy your family and your friends more than the food. And I will teach you how to stay committed to your goals no matter what. So instead of lamenting about all of your bad choices come January 1st, you will for the very first time be damn proud of yourself so you can start the new year off with amazing new energy. Yes, y'all, this is what I call the luck state of mind, my friend, and it is available to you this season no matter how many objections your bratty brain is throwing at you. So not only will you get access to all of the tools inside Stop Dieting Forever, including the Essential 90-Day Planner, and you'll get access to the Stop Dieting Forever process, but you're also going to get access to the best weight loss coaching on the internet. Y'all, I have 3 coaching calls a week where I coach my clients faces off. And you also get to enjoy our amazing supportive community of Luxe Lifers. I have to be honest with you, this is the most transformational weight loss program available on the internet today. And it is specifically designed to help the woman who is fed up with trying to depend on sheer willpower just to lose weight and keep it off. That is exhausting. So my promise to you is that you will lose at least 10 pounds in 90 days, or I will give you your money back. Yes, I will give you your money back. That is how confident I am that my process will work when you follow it. But hey, don't take my word for it. I want you to listen to my client Angie. She's one of the newest Luxelifers, and she's lost 11 pounds so far in her first 30 days of following my process.

The advice I would give for someone who wants to try Stop Dieting Forever is do it. Do it. You know, we live in such a conditioned world that we have to count our carbs or we have to count our calories or we have to eat according to a certain schedule. All of a sudden, I'm not doing any of those things. And you know what's really crazy about that? I've been more successful in the last month, less than a month, on this program where I've stopped dieting, where I'm learning how to stop thinking like a dieter, than I ever have on any other kind of program where they told me to eat this or that, or don't eat this and don't eat that, and eat at this time, and eat 5 times a day, or eat, you know, 2 times a day, or don't eat at all. All of these things. Drink these shakes. All of a sudden, As I'm learning how to have a relationship with food that's a good relationship, none of those things are mattering because I am intentionally stopping when I'm not hungry anymore, eating when I am hungry. And so it's just a byproduct to eat less. It's just a byproduct to want to choose the things that make my body feel good. So if you are interested in this, I'm going to tell you, this will change your life. And it's not just going to help you lose weight. The principles that Jennifer teaches are going to flow over into every aspect of your life and all of your relationships, and you're going to start thinking very differently and making your choices differently. So don't hesitate. I wish I would have done this 6 months ago. I wish I would have met her years ago. This is probably the best choice I've ever made for my life.

You're listening to the Stop Dieting Forever podcast, episode 124. What if it were possible to achieve your goal weight and stay there permanently without dieting? Welcome to the Stop Dieting Forever podcast, where you will discover the key components that most diets won't tell you because they want you to keep coming back. Not here. This is your last stop on the weight loss struggle bus. I am your host, Jennifer Dent-Brown, life and weight loss coach. And I am going to show you how to stop dieting forever. Let's jump into today's episode. Hey, LuxeLifer, welcome to another episode of the Stop Dieting Forever podcast. I am your host, certified life and weight loss coach Jennifer Dent-Brown, and I always want to make sure I say hello and welcome if this is your first time listening. I've been like scrolling and trying to listen to some new podcasts just to see what else is out there, see what other podcasts interest me. And I always feel disconnected whenever they— the podcast host just starts talking as if I've been listening for eons. So I just like to welcome the new people. I mean, the podcast is growing by leaps and bounds. I know we have new people listening. And we're almost at 80,000 downloads. And most recently, I was checking our stats. We've got listeners tuning in from South Africa, and Cyprus, and Switzerland, and Malaysia, and a lot of folks from Ireland. So shout out to my international listeners, and shout out to the new listeners. Like, literally, the stop dieting desire is universal. So it's interesting, some of the people that I've talked to who just found the podcast, they usually search Stop Dieting, and then this comes up, and then they start listening and binging. So just continue to share this podcast with your peeps, and I will continue to offer you valuable insights in this podcast to help you get off of the diet roller coaster. All right, so let's talk about— Seasonal FOMO, fear of missing out. So in the United States, we're heading into the holiday season. We're heading into Thanksgiving and Hanukkah and Christmas and Kwanzaa, which is like the season of excess eating and drinking. It happens. Many of us eat and drink in excess because we have this fear of missing out. We give ourselves permission to eat by telling ourselves things like, well, I only get this food this time of year, and oh, it's a special occasion. It's a holiday, so I've got to have it. Or, you know, she took this time to make this dessert, so I better show my appreciation and eat all of it when she gives it to me. You know how that is. You got that one family member who makes her specialty you know, butter pound cake, or like pecan pie, or something fabulous, or cornbread stuffing. Like, there's something in your family that someone makes that you feel like you only get this time of year. And when they offer it to you, you feel like you just need to show your appreciation and eat it whether you want it or not. We believe we're missing out on something if we don't indulge in all of our favorite sweets seasonal holiday treats, whether we're physically hungry or not. Y'all, this is what we call food FOMO. Today I'm talking about the seasonal food FOMO. FOMO, fear of missing out, causes us to eat just because someone offered us something. And when I was thinking about like, when are those times when somebody offered us something and it was hard to— hard to say no? You guys have been to like a cocktail party or a reception and someone is walking around offering like butler hors d'oeuvres, and they come up to you with their tray of food or whatever they're offering, and you feel like if you don't take something off of their tray, you're going to disappoint them. You're going to disappoint the person who is paid to hand out the hors d'oeuvres. Well, at least I don't know if that's your thought, but that has been my thought in the past. So you end up like grabbing a little cocktail napkin and picking up something off of that tray and smiling at that person and saying, thank you, even though you're like, I don't even know what this is. I'm not sure if I want it. And you end up eating it because you don't want to offend the person that's offering it to you. FOMO causes us to drink alcoholic beverages just because other people around us are drinking. FOMO causes us to eat just because food is there. It's in front of us. And you're like, well, what the hell? Might as well eat it, right? FOMO can cause significant stress in our lives when you don't know how to deal with it. And let's be honest, when I think about seasonal food FOMO— and recently someone posted on my Facebook group about her fear of missing out on food. She specifically said, she's worried about with all of the treats, the holiday parties, the family gatherings, and all of them being centered around food. So we were talking about seasonal food FOMO. But when I think about seasonal food FOMO, it really just steals the joy that is available to us during the holiday season. It steals the joy that we can get from being around our family and our friends this time of year because we're so focused on the food and we miss out on the gift that we have this time of year. So I don't want that to happen to you anymore. So let's just break down FOMO. Let's break it down so we can fundamentally understand it. And once we understand it, we can then begin to dismantle it. So FOMO happens when we think that our experience will be better if we eat the food or drink the drink. We think that the others who are drinking and eating around us are having more fun. So we eat and we drink to try and create this perceived experience that they are having. Now, as I was thinking about this, I feel like it's not just when we're in the room physically with other people who are eating and drinking, but it's also when we're scrolling through social media. And we see videos of people, our quote unquote friends, who are doing fabulous things and having fabulous experiences with like clinking their glasses and eating the yummy food, we have this perception that they're having an amazing time that we're not having. And notice I said perception, right? It is this perceived experience that we think that they are having. So when you give into FOMO, you're actually creating your own feeling of helplessness. Looking at your Instagram feed or your Facebook feed, looking at the people around you at the social event, whether it's your family or your coworkers or your friends, you create this own feeling of helplessness because you're perceiving what they're doing to be better than where you are right now. Like you're missing out on something big if you don't have one more slice of pie along with everybody else, or if you don't have one more cocktail before you leave the event. Your bratty brain will tell you to eat all the food because, you know, you may never get a chance to eat this specific food again. But let's be real, y'all. The holidays happen at the same time every year. And I bet you whatever bar or restaurant you're at, they will have the same seasonal cocktail next year. They will have the same seasonal dessert next year. Same time next year, right? But your bratty brain will tell you when you're looking at that menu, like, oh, I've got to order this thing now because I may not get a chance to ever eat it again. The hot spinach artichoke crab dip that your cousin makes that you love will more than likely be at the table next year when you have your family gathering. But you create this feeling of FOMO when you think, oh my God, I've got to have this now. I'm not going to have a chance to eat it later. I'm so excited. I've been looking forward to this all year long. But you're creating your own seasonal food FOMO. Food FOMO. And when this happens, when you're experiencing food FOMO, you eat, you drink to excess, and then you wake up on January 1st and you look back at all the things that you ate, all of the things that you drank, and you look at the scale and you feel your bloated belly and you feel your low energy and you're like, OMG, I effed up again. I don't want that for you anymore. I want you to learn how to do the holiday season differently. So grab your pen and your piece of paper because I'm going to give you 3 extremely useful power questions to help you avoid situations of food FOMO this holiday season. Now, I've talked about power questions before on the podcast. And power questions are like part of the foundation of the Stop Dieting Forever process. But if you're new to the podcast, let me just tell you, power questions are the best tool to reprogram your perceived emotions around seasonal holiday food. Because if you've been kind of like in the same weight gain cycle every year around the holidays, all that means is that you're just used to doing the holidays the same way. You have a very specific pattern of thinking when it comes to how you approach these holiday events. And so that very specific pattern of thinking causes you to eat and drink excessively during the holiday season. It's like the reason why you're worried about this time of year is because you don't know any other way to think. You don't know any other way to approach the holiday season. So So you're walking into it like, oh man, this is the time of year where I just gain weight. So I'm going to give you these 3 power questions right now that will help you disrupt your default way of thinking and just give you an opportunity to kick yourself out of autopilot. And when you kick yourself out of autopilot of just doing the same old, same old and experiencing food FOMO every season, you get to choose again. And that choice that you're making may result in weight loss. Yes, weight loss during the holiday season. Okay, are you ready? Here are the 3 questions. Number 1: Would I eat this food right now if I were alone? Good, right? Would I eat this food right now if I were by myself? Or am I just eating this food because the people around me are eating it? Or someone offers it to me, right? But if I'm alone, there's nobody here to offer it to me. If I'm alone, would I eat the same food? So that's a great question. The second one is, is this really the only time that I can eat this food for the rest of my life? Like, truth time, y'all. Let's be really honest. I know that my Brightie brain has offered that sneaky self-sabotaging thought up a lot in the past. But let's be real. There will be other opportunities to eat the food, like white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. There will be other opportunities to eat— oh, my brother makes the best macaroni and cheese. There will be plenty of other opportunities to eat his macaroni and cheese. There will be other opportunities to have that specialty cocktail, because again, the holiday season happens every year at the same time. So when your brain tells you like, oh my God, I've got to eat this thing right now because I don't know when I'm ever going to have it again. Is that true? Call yourself out. All right. And the third question is real simple. Would I pay for this food? Would I pay for it? How often do you find yourself putting food into your mouth just because it's free, just because it's there, right? You go to the office party or you go to the conference or you have the working lunches or you go to your friend's house and have wine and like little snacks and hors d'oeuvres. Any social event that you go to this time of year is going to have food, I can guarantee that. But the only reason why you eat half of it is because your brain tells you it's there, it's free to eat it. So before you dig into the chip and dip bowl, ask yourself would you pay for this? If you were out and you had an opportunity to buy chips and dip, would you pay for that food? I bet you your brain will be like, heck no. Okay, so those are the 3 questions, 3 power questions that you can ask yourself. Ask yourself one of them or all 3 of them, but I really feel like one of them will just allow you to disrupt that default thinking and like, oh, make you think again, right? So I'm going to go over them real quick one more time. Number 1, would I eat this food right now if I were alone? 2, is this really the only time I can eat this food for the rest of my life? And the third one is, would I pay for this food? All right, so now that we have taken a little bit of time to dismantle the seasonal food FOMO, you now have a better understanding of all the times when you feel like you need to indulge in food you don't want because of FOMO. So I want you now to think about all of the times that you create this feeling of FOMO because of your thinking when it comes to eating at this time of year. And before you go to your events, before you go to your social events, your dinners, your parties, holiday parties, all the things, I want you to just get really comfortable with saying, no thank you. Or just say, I'll have some later when I'm hungry. That's actually my favorite response. Like, oh, thank you so much for this. I will have some later when I'm hungry. Like, people will look at you like, oh, you only eat when you're hungry? Like, that's some foreign concept. So I want you to just get used to thinking that thought before before you get into the room, before you go to the event, before you sit down at the table, just allow your brain to be trained to think, oh, thank you, I will have some later when I'm hungry. So don't just like decide you're going to depend on willpower before you go into the party. Your default programming is so much stronger than your willpower. But the good news is, with practice you will be able to eradicate seasonal food FOMO, not just during the holidays, but year round. This is what I teach inside the Stop Dieting Forever membership. Now, if this piques your interest, if this approach is like interesting to you and you want to try it, I'm going to teach you my very unique approach to the holiday eating season inside Stop Dieting Forever, which is my life-changing lifestyle membership. Now, before I end this episode, I want you to listen to Shanay's experience in learning the process, following the process, and ultimately losing 28 pounds. And she's now learning to live at her forever weight. And when you're finished listening to Shanay's experience, I want you to go to JenniferDent.com to sign up for my free video series, Holiday Help, which drops in your inbox on Monday, October 24th. And you will receive 3 videos from me during that week. And once the videos are complete, I want you to accept the invitation to join me, to join Shanay, and the other Luxe Lifers inside Stop Dieting Forever when the doors open on Halloween, which is Monday, October October 31st. All right, y'all, live luxe, and let's hear from Shanay.

Before the Stop Dieting Forever process, physically I had reached the highest weight I had ever been, and I was feeling very uncomfortable. Like, I was just okay with my body. I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it either. It's just like, yeah, like, and I had kind of given up on like weight loss. I was just like, fuck it, I don't know that I'm gonna figure this out. And emotionally, I was feeling pretty frustrated and annoyed and bored, like on a regular, before the SDF process.

So with this process, I did lose weight.

I lost 28 pounds. I've also been able to maintain my weight. I feel better in touch with like what my body needs when I actually when I actually feel hungry and paying attention to that. I feel better in touch with my emotions, like recognizing what I'm feeling and being able to slow myself down and just have those feelings and recognizing my thoughts. And this process also allows me to, like, focus on other parts of my life. So it helped me with my weight loss. But now I'm able to take this process and use it for other areas of my life so that I can get results in my life. And that's probably one of my favorite parts about it. This process is different from a diet because, like, I get to pick what I want. Like, I don't have to stick with any one thing. I can eat what the fuck I want.

And people keep asking me, like, what diet were you on?

What diet? I'm like, I wasn't on a diet. I wasn't on a diet. Um, I could eat what I wanted, like whatever foods worked for me. And, you know, it was something I had a problem with for so long is restricting my food because I was on, you know, I was paleo or primal or keto, whatever it was. Like, I didn't have to just stick with any one thing. I eat whatever. And when I let go of all that restricting myself and trying to stay in this box about what I should eat or shouldn't eat, I enjoyed food more and I lost weight.

Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready to get the help you need during the holidays? You want to be a part of the October cohort of new members. Like, seriously, you want to be a part of it. You don't want to miss it. And listen, let this be the first year that you do the holiday season differently. Just go to JenniferDent.com to sign up to receive the free 3-part video series called Holiday Help, which the first video will end up in your inbox on October 24th. And immediately after the 3-part video series completes and finishes, you immediately will become an official LuxxLifer inside Stop Dieting Forever. Imagine how you're going to feel knowing that you lost weight on January 1st. Imagine y'all waking up on January 1st knowing that you have lost weight. You're starting off the new year negative. Instead of waking up on January 1st hating the fact that you gained weight once again, it can happen for you. And listen, when you join and you lose that weight, I cannot wait to be your coach and to celebrate with you. Go to jenniferdent.com to sign up to receive that free 3-part video series called Holiday Help. The first video will be in your inbox on Monday, October 24th. And then immediately after the video series completes, I want you to sign up to become an official LuxeLifer inside Stop Dieting Forever. If you like today's episode of the Stop Dieting Forever podcast and you want to learn more about creating a lifestyle lifestyle instead of following a diet to lose weight permanently, be sure to visit JenniferDent.com. There you'll learn more about my unique weight loss process and how it can work for you. Go to JenniferDent.com to discover what you can do to stop dieting forever.