Happy {Half} Hour! How to overcome your crazy food cravings

Hello, hello! Happy Half Hour! It is Friday, y'all, and it is time for Happy Half Hour. I had fun last week doing it. It was just kind of an experiment. I thought that it would be kind of like an interesting thing to see. Hey, Naisha, you popped right on over! Thank you. Uh, I thought it would be an interesting thing to see, you know, who joins on, on a Friday afternoon at 5 PM. But we had a good little conversation going and I like went on and on and on for half an hour. So today I don't plan to go on for half an hour, but I do want to make sure that I answer questions. If anybody needs coaching or like stuck on something or they have an obstacle that they're going to be dealing with this weekend, I'm all about it. So hello, I'm Jennifer Dent-Brown. I am a life coach and I help women learn to stop dieting forever. And the reason why I wanted to do Happy Half Hour on Friday at 5:00 PM Eastern is one, because I love happy hour. I spent most of my 20s going to happy hour every Friday after work with my friends, with my girlfriends. And that's one of the reasons why I was always a little bit overweight. Lots of alcohol, lots of drinking. But the reason why I wanted to do Happy Half Hour now as a life coach when it comes to weight is to get y'all set for the weekend because I know what happens Monday through like Friday at lunch. Good, strict, you know exactly what to eat, you stick to your meal plan, you eat exactly what you bring to lunch every day. It's all good. And as soon as like you start to relax into Friday, you start thinking about the weekend and you start making plans, you take your foot off of the accelerator and you lean back and relax. And all of a sudden, oh, there is a glass of wine in your hand. All of a sudden, oh, there's some nachos in my hand. Like, where did that come from? I talked to a woman today. I did a strategy call with her today and she told me, She was tired of fighting with her mouth. I thought that was so funny, but I get it. She said, I'm tired of fighting with my mouth. She's like, every time I turn around, I'm popping a piece of candy in my mouth. She said she was addicted to sugar. And I was like, yes, we can help you. I can help you stop fighting with your mouth. OK, so this is one of the reasons that I am super passionate about what I do, because there was a time where I just felt completely hopeless. When it came to my weight. And it wasn't like I had a ton of weight to lose, but the, the weight that I wanted to lose, I couldn't get rid of it. Like, I couldn't lose more than 5, 6 pounds at a time, and then I would turn around and gain it right back again. And so now that I understand fully the mind and body connection, I understand how food affects our bodies differently, especially as women, especially when it comes to our hormones. So a lot of us are, the woman I talked to today was in early menopause, so what she's eating is not the best thing for her hormones, right? So just understanding all of this from a holistic aspect and understanding how this affects all of this is huge. It is a game, total game changer. And so I am like super passionate to help y'all. If you're out there struggling with your weight, you do not have to struggle anymore. Like, there is absolutely no reason. And I love what I have come to learn over the past 4-ish years as I've been like learning and getting certified as a coach, is that there isn't really like a single book. There isn't a diet plan that teaches you all this stuff. At least I haven't seen one. Right? If you look up keto, keto is not going to tell you how to think about the food that you're eating. No, but every result that you get begins with what's up here. And so successful weight loss, how to stop fighting with your mouth, weight loss that happens naturally, and that the weight you keep, you and the weight that you keep off begins here and not so much here, what you're putting into your mouth. I know, right? Crazy. All right, so let me pour my glass. Spindrift. So last week I introduced you all to Spindrift, which is a lovely refreshing beverage, sparkling water with real squeezed fruit. This is not a sponsored advertisement, but I really do love these, and I was so excited when I went to Target and they had new flavors. So this is strawberry. And they also had a, um, I think it was a mango or mango orange or something like that. So I'm pouring it in my fun glass. My friend Dana gave me this glass years ago, I think for my birthday. Dana, I miss you wherever you are. Um, so it says it's 5 o'clock somewhere, so it is 5 o'clock on the East Coast. I'm about to crack open my Spindrift. If you want, go grab yourself a glass of something and let's have some fun. Okay. If you're not watching this live and you're watching the replay, please just type replay in the comment. Um, and I will say hi. I love to know who's watching. I love to know what y'all are thinking about. I love to know what you're struggling with so I can help you because again, there is no reason for you to be overweight. My sole mission in life right now is to help get your mind straight so you can naturally lose the weight and keep it off and stop fighting with your mouth. Ooh, I love that. Ave, thank you. I love that. Thank you, Naisha. I love it too. It's all blinged out and stuff. All right, so today we're going to talk about cravings and how to manage cravings. So I don't know about you, but sometimes like the time of the week will determine whether I have a craving or not. Or maybe the clock, like, oh, it's almost 5 o'clock, almost happy hour time. All of a sudden you're like, ooh, I really want a glass of Merlot. I really want a glass of rosé. Or maybe you walk into an establishment, you walk into a bar or a restaurant and you get that urge to just like sip a glass of Prosecco. right? And just like settle in at the bar and just relax, kick it, right? So it's amazing if you really pay attention how our environment can really trigger some cravings. I remember, um, I could not drive past a Chick-fil-A without wanting some waffle fries because I had made that a habit. Saturday you go out, do all your errands and all that fun stuff, and then you're driving around and I would always stop at Chick-fil-A to get french fries. And so even when I was like, oh no, I'm focused, I'm losing weight, I'm not doing the french fries, it was like the sight of Chick-fil-A, of the building, would all of a sudden my mouth would begin to water and I was like, ooh, I could really use some waffle fries right now. Right? So just think about like where in your life, I would love to hear, like share with me, Where in your life do you feel or you experience these like crazy cravings? So for some of us, it's Friday, the weekend, um, you walk into your favorite restaurant and all of a sudden you can just taste like your favorite appetizer going down your throat, or you're driving past your favorite fast food establishment, or maybe, you know, for some of us during the work week you're looking at the clock and it's 3:00 PM and you're like, ooh, all of a sudden you need a break. And he's like, clock, break, vending machine, and off you go. All of a sudden at 3:00. I always ask people who experience those afternoon cravings at work, do you experience the same craving on the weekends at 3:00 PM? Probably not because you're focused on something else. Ah, Naysha has a good one. Yes. Soon as you walk in the movie theater, what do you smell? Buttery popcorn. So her thing is, her craving is, as soon as she goes to the movies, popcorn and M&M's. It's like that salty and that sweet together. That sounds good. All right. So I want— the first thing I want you to do is just like think, be aware, becoming aware of when these cravings come upon you. Hey Jamila, thanks for joining. So the first step is just like being aware of when this happens, right? So the movie theater, the restaurant, work, Friday, or all of these crazy things, external things, all of a sudden they trigger a craving. But if you think about it, is it really the external thing or circumstances really triggering that craving, right? So is it really me driving past the Chick-fil-A and all of a sudden it's like the energy from the Chick-fil-A is like coming into my car and all of a sudden it's like, oh, waffle fries, right? So when Naisha's walking into the movie theater, is it the movie theater itself causing the craving? Like, that would be weird, right? No. Is it the time on the clock, 3 PM, causing your craving? No. It is your thoughts about the, the time or the movie theater or the Chick-fil-A that is causing the craving. So think about it. Let's deconstruct this very, very, very closely. So we're going to take Naisha's example of the movie theater and how she goes to the movie theater, she gets a craving for popcorn and M&Ms, right? So she may not— say her and her husband have movie plans like Saturday night. She wakes up on Saturday morning, she's not thinking about movie theater popcorn, she's not thinking about M&Ms. She's probably, knowing Naisha, probably teaching yoga class, right? Off doing something cleaning the house, being busy, right? And so she's not thinking about movie theater popcorn, but as soon as she and her husband are driving to the movie theater, her brain is starting to think like, oh yeah, we're about to like sit back in the movie theater, about to relax. Oh, and I really enjoy the movie most when I'm munching on something, right? Or as my potential client said today on her call, fighting with her mouth, right? So as she's driving to the movie theater, she's having all of these thoughts about enjoying the movie, enjoying her popcorn, and enjoying the M&Ms. So she has linked enjoyment at the movie theater, popcorn, M&Ms into one thing. So that's how she will enjoy this movie. Right? She's not thinking like, oh, I'm just going to go into the movie theater, sit down on my seat, relax, pull my bottle of water out the purse, because that's what I do. I don't spend $3 on a bottle of water at the movie theater, and just enjoy the movie. No, she's like, I enjoy the movie when I go have my popcorn and my M&Ms. Right? So do you begin to see it's kind of like a very deliberate thinking that is happening right now? So then boom, as soon as she walks in the door, what does she smell? What does she see? Popcorn, buttery popcorn wafting from the air vents. She sees the concession stand because you know that's placed there purposely right across from the front door. So as soon as you walk in, it's like, whoo, here you go. You got to get your snack. You got to walk around the concession stand to get into the movie theater. It's funny how that happens, right? And so all this time she's already been thinking in her head, movie, movie theater, movie theater popcorn, M&M's, I must get this before I even go into the movie theater, right? So she is generating thoughts about the movie theater popcorn and the M&M's, which creates the craving, right? So it is not the external activity. It's not the circumstance of, oh, I'm going to the movies. That's not giving her the craving. It's not some crazy thing that's just coming out of nowhere, like all of a sudden she's like, give me some popcorn, give me some M&M's. No, it's a very deliberate process that happens subconsciously, right? This is not a conscious thing. It just happens because that, that is her habit. Movie theater, Enjoy the movies. I gotta get my popcorn, gotta get my M&Ms. It's— that is her, her process, right? So she has created the craving for the M&Ms and the popcorn. Now fast forward to— actually, now I'm not— I'm gonna use some another, another person. So say we have, um, Yvonne over here. Who also loves to go to the movies, right? And she walks into the movie theater, but she walks right past the concession stand because she doesn't think anything of it, right? She's like, "Ah, there's nothing over there that I want. Nothing at the concession stand is going to serve me. It's going to empty my wallet and it's going to put extra calories on me." So she's like, "I'm not even bothered with the concession stand. I am here to enjoy the movie and the people I came with." Right? So her thinking does not create a craving. It creates an action that actually serves her where she is bypassing the concession stand and going to the movie theater and sitting down and enjoying the movie. So by not going to the concession stand, she's saving money. She's not spending $8 on popcorn and M&Ms or whatever it costs now. And she's not consuming those extra calories, so she's able to maintain her weight or continue with her weight loss, right? So, Naysha, Yvonne, in the weight loss process— so this is what I teach in my Stop Dieting Forever weight loss course— is moving from having that trigger or that thought of like, ooh, generating the craving and the desire for the craving here with Naysha, and I help rewire the brain so Nyesha can eventually come into the movie theater, walk past the concession stand, be like, deuces, I'm gonna go watch a movie, and sit next to Yvonne and chill out and enjoy the movie and not even think about popcorn or M&M's, right? And that is when the weight loss begins to happen. All right, does that make sense? Okay, if you have questions about that, go ahead and type them in the chat. I know it can be a little bit interesting or hard to kind of grasp if you haven't really thought about weight loss in this way, right? Because lots of times when we're trying to lose weight, we work so much from like the doing, right? I must not eat this, or I must weigh this food, or I must measure this food, or I must you know, do this much exercise to burn this many calories, and we're like always doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, and we don't address our thinking about the doing, right? So if you get your mind right, it's a lot easier to do the do than it is to force yourself to do the do. Okay, so that brings me to another point, is focusing on willpower. Lots of times we focus on willpower to kind of like power through these cravings, to like, you know, grit our teeth and just like, okay, I got this craving and I'm just gonna, you know, I'm going to ignore it. Right? And that may work for a little while. That may definitely work. You may be able to rely on your willpower to say no to the glass of Merlot or no to the glass of Prosecco or the nachos or the waffle fries or whatever your thing is. For a while, but there's gonna come a time where your willpower is not gonna be as strong and you're going to walk into your favorite establishment and somebody's gonna be like, hey girl, I got you a glass of wine, come over here and sit down. And you got me like, what a day I had. And instead of using your willpower, willpower to say, no thank you, I'm going to have a glass of sparkling water with lime. You're like, girl, give me this glass of wine. And you sit down and before you know it, you've had 3 glasses of wine, you've had a plate of wings and ahi tuna, right? As an appetizer at the bar. And you're like, what just happened? By this point you're like, okay, I might as well get dessert. Whatever. Willpower does not last forever. And when we try to use willpower to overcome our cravings, it really just makes them worse because all we're doing is focusing on trying to overcome the craving and we're thinking about it more and more and more and more. Right? So when you think about it, right? Think about it. So here I am driving around, Saturday afternoon, haven't eaten lunch, I'm doing my errands and I'm like, ooh, I really want Chick-fil-A, I really want waffle fries. And I'm like driving past, and for those of you who are familiar with Cherry Hill, New Jersey, you know exactly which Chick-fil-A I'm talking about on Haddonfield Road, right across from the Cherry Hill Mall, right? I would be right in that area going to all my little places, the grocery store, to Target, to The Container Store, to the mall, doing all that stuff. Driving back and forth past the Chick-fil-A. Every time I drove past, back and forth past the Chick-fil-A, I wanted some dadgum waffle fries, right? So I would pass the Chick-fil-A, okay, gritting my teeth, no waffle fries, no waffle fries, no waffle fries. But what am I doing? I'm continuing to think about the waffle fries. Even though they're out of my purview, they're out of my visual range, in my brain I'm still thinking, Waffle fries, waffle fries, waffle fries. Hey Colleen. And so what happens if I'm continuing to think about the waffle fries? I'm just generating a bigger craving for the freaking waffle fries, right? And it's all of my thoughts. It's all about my thinking. If I was able to shift my thinking into something, something we're going to talk about how to do that in a minute. Shift my thinking away from focusing on waffle fries, then I'd be good. Right. But how many times have we, like, tried to force our way, grit our teeth, using willpower to ignore a craving, and we just kept thinking about it? Have you ever been, like, in the house and there's, like, some leftover pizza or leftover cake in the refrigerator and you're just, like, doing everything in the house, you're, like, doing laundry, cleaning up, you're on your computer, but in the back of your brain you keep thinking about that food that's still in the refrigerator? Right? And then you keep thinking about it. And so the more you think about it, the bigger the craving gets. And so you're just generating a bigger and bigger desire. It's almost like FOMO, fear of missing out on the food, fear of missing out on the food. So you are generating this huge desire for whatever's in the refrigerator. And what do you eventually do before you go to bed? You're like, god darn it, I'm just going to eat it. I'm just going to eat it. I'm just going to go ahead, eat it, and when it's gone, I don't have to worry about it anymore. Right? That's, that's the rationale we tell ourselves. I know because I used to think like this. So what happens? You eat the food and then you gain the weight, right? Or you slow down your weight loss progress and then you feel guilty and it's a whole vicious cycle. Right? So my, my, my, my job as your coach is to get you out of the cycle. Cycle, right? But just thinking about food and that craving, that desire, it just generates a bigger desire for the craving, right? So you're like, okay, I got it. Naysha says, makes sense. How do we overcome the cravings, right? So the first thing is that you become aware of your thoughts and how your thoughts are really generating the craving for this particular food. That's the first thing. So I want you to write that down. Let me make sure I got all my notes here and I don't miss anything. Okay, so when you are aware, you become aware of that thought, I want you to— hey Alexis! Um, I want you to pause. Yes, you are going to pause. So instead of focusing on that craving continuously, I want you to just pause for a second and like just observe and like, what is going on right now? Right? What is going on with my body? It's not this thing that's overtaking me, like this really strong desire to eat something. It is what? And as you're pausing, you can really like step— almost like stepping outside of yourself or removing yourself from the circumstance and really just be like, oh yeah, okay, I keep thinking about the chocolate chip cookies in the cabinet. That's why I really want them, right? And so as you pause and you kind of take yourself out of the anxiety and the feeling of like really wanting that craving, you can think rationally for a second. So before you find yourself like clamoring down the steps to get to the cabinet to get those chocolate chip cookies, you can be like, okay, hold on, let me just like get myself together and figure out what's going on before I make the next move, right? This is foreign to most of us. If you, if you have a, if you're not used to doing this and you're struggling with your weight or you're struggling with giving in to cravings, this whole pause thing is foreign to you. All right. So this is going to take practice, practice. And this is when working with a coach comes in really handy because I am the one kind of holding your hand through it. Like, okay, what just happened? Did you pause? Right. So the more we talk about it, the more you will remember, like, oh yeah, right. I'm supposed to pause, right? Before you stick your hand in the refrigerator to open the door, you're like, oh wait, I can hear Coach Jennifer in my brain. I need to pause, close the refrigerator door, step back, and like, okay, what am I about to do right now? And that way you kind of have like some sense in your brain and you can make a rational decision of whether you want to eat the thing or not, right? We want to focus on our goal during that time. So here's how you flip the switch, because some of you will be like, no, these cravings are like something has taken over my body, and if I don't eat this thing at this time, I'm going to die. I've heard that from people, right? First of all, you're not going to die. A craving is not going to kill you. If anything, a craving is a cue, right? It's a cue that something else is going on that you need to be aware of and you need to take care of. Cheers, happy half hour. So as you're pausing, you have the opportunity to change your thoughts because remember I said you got to take care of this first. Before you can overcome any craving successfully, right? And you've got to do that every time. So you need to be very intentional instead of thinking like, I want those waffle fries, I want those waffle fries, I want the chocolate chip, that chocolate cake is in the refrigerator, like I have to eat it. Oh, the pizza's in the refrigerator. Instead of thinking like all of these thoughts in your head that's really just making you want the food so much, Guess what? We're going to flip that script and change your thought, change your thinking. It's very, very simple. But in the beginning it seems very, very difficult because you don't know how to do it, right? You're like a baby learning how to walk. It's very difficult. Or you're like a grown-ass woman trying to learn how to ride a unicycle. It's difficult. You're not going to be able to do it the first time, right? But with practice, It will get easier. Okay, so here are a couple of thoughts that may sound familiar. You've probably thought them, and these are thoughts that fuel the desire to eat some food, right? So maybe Naisha's walking into the movie theater and she says in her brain, "Oh, just this once, it won't hurt. Just this once, I'm gonna get some popcorn and M&Ms. It won't hurt. I'm gonna get back on track tomorrow." Or maybe you've had like a really tough week with the eating plan and your eating protocol and it's kind of like, yeah, whatever. And you go to your friend's house on Saturday for lunch or you meet a friend for lunch and you say, you know what, this is too hard. She got me on, Jennifer got me on this eating protocol. I can't follow it. It's too hard. Yes, I'll take the double cheeseburger with the loaded fries and a Diet Coke, please. Thank you very much. Right? And you give in. Or maybe you just say, screw this, right? So the example I gave earlier, when you walk into the bar and your girlfriend is like, hey girl, I got your wine for you, come sit down. And you're like, eff it, screw it, I'm just gonna drink it and whatever happens, I'll deal with it later. Right? Or here's one, right? It's like eating by guilt. So you go to like, um, so maybe your significant other invited you, like your boyfriend invited you to his family's house to eat dinner, and they have all this food that's like way off your protocol, and you know it's going to spike your insulin levels and make, turn your body into a fat storage machine and all the stuff that I teach you, but you don't want to offend them. And so you go ahead and eat the food anyway and you say, oh, I hate having to say no, so I'm going to eat the food, right? Or maybe you're at a networking event after work and you feel very uncomfortable being in this room of people that you don't know. And so you're like, okay, yes, please, I'll take this appetizer and this hors d'oeuvre and this hors d'oeuvre. And yes, I'll take this glass of whatever, right? Because you're feeling so uncomfortable. So those are some of those thoughts that we have that just fuel the desire to eat foods that are off our protocol. So I want you to write these down if you have a notebook. Um, We're going to flip the script. So we're going to come up with some neutral thoughts or alternatives. So what else can you be thinking? So remember, we're pausing, right? We get the urge to eat something. We're going to be like, "Pause." And then we're like, "Okay, well, let me pick a new thought. What can I replace this thought of like, um, I deserve it?" All right, here's a new thought. I want to prove to myself that I can do this. I want to prove to myself that I can say no to this craving, stay on track for the weekend, and come out on Monday morning feeling like a champ. As I say in the group, like a Lady Boss, right? Like a Luxe Lady. Oh, it's 5:30 already. These little happy half hours go by quickly. If you have questions, go ahead and type them in the chat. I want to be sure that I get them before I go. Spindrift Strawberry, wonderful. OK, so another neutral thought alternative is, I am stronger than this craving. Mm-hmm. Food does not control you, right? When you are on the weight loss journey, we fire food. Food doesn't have that job anymore. So food does not control you, right? You control you. So yeah, I am stronger than my craving for waffle fries, right? I don't get a craving for waffle fries anymore. Chick-fil-A, hey, Chick-fil-A, don't even think about it. Going, mm, none. All right, here's another one. Mm, there are other ways to relax. So yes, I have traditionally relaxed with a glass of Merlot or a glass of Chardonnay or a glass of whatever— beer, whatever your thing is. But now you have a new thought and you say, there are other ways to relax. I don't need alcohol to help me relax after a long day. I just don't. Here's another one: this will Pass. This is one that I use a lot and it's super powerful because it really does pass, right? So I used to get an urge to eat during my workday. Like I would get off of a call, out of a meeting, and then, you know, it was like all of this stuff you have to do, you have more work to do, more work piled on to the stuff you already have to do. It would make me feel so anxious. And I would just want to go and just like hang up from the call and go just put something in my mouth, kind of like ease that anxiety and just get over that feeling of feeling anxious and like overwhelmed, right? But when I realized that's what I was doing, like I was eating not because I was hungry, I was eating just to like quell that anxiety. I would just sit here and be like, Deep breath. Yep. I want to eat. Yep. This sucks right now. Feels really terrible, but it will pass. It will pass. And I would go and start doing some work and lo and behold, it passes. Yes. And when you look up and you're like, oh dang, I did it. Like I made it to the other side. You feel amazing. And you do that once. then you can do it twice. When you do it twice, you can do it 3 times. And when you do it 3 times, you can do it 4 times. And it just keeps compounding, right? Here is another neutral thought. Um, mm, here's another good one. I am saying yes to my goal weight and no to this food, right? You may have an urge to eat something, but you're like, you know what? Mm-mm, nope, nope, nope. Nope, nope. I'm saying yes to my goal weight and no to this food because my goal weight is more important to me than eating this leftover chocolate cake. It just is. It just is. All right. So those were some neutral thought alternatives. I'm sure you could probably come up with more. I hope you wrote them down because they're really, really good. If you didn't, they are all included in my weight loss course, Stop Dieting Forever. Weight Loss Program. It is a 7-month program where I walk you through hand, hand, hand by hand, holding your hand, the process to rewire your brain from like having an old dieter's mentality, dieter's mentality, to the brain of someone who naturally says no, who naturally understands these cravings that pop up and choose something different that serves them and they don't gain the weight. That, my friends, is phenomenal. So any questions? I don't see any questions here. If you have questions later, you can always send me a private message on Facebook if you want to know about my course, how it works, how I can help you with coaching, how do you know if you need to work with a coach, a life coach. That's one thing that I get a lot. Um, if you have any questions about what I said, if you want to know where I got my Spindrift from, go ahead and type them in or send me a private message. Thank y'all for joining live. This is fun. I think I may do it again next week. All right, enjoy your weekends, ladies. Stay focused and remember when you have that craving, that urge to eat something, what do you do? You become aware of the thought, the thought that is fueling the craving. You pause for a minute and then you choose a different thought to replace the one that is fueling the craving. Alright, you're welcome. See you, Naysha. Bye-bye.