S3 E11 - The Gift Of Emotions

Are you going to be a victim or a victor for the rest of your life? Let's make that distinction in this mental inferno of an episode right now.

You mentioned a word, Brittany, in the last episode that I want to talk a little bit about anxiety. Yes, it's a popular term. I think a lot of people overuse it, but also people under realize how heavy it is.

Gut wrenching anxiety. When I mean, your body wants to shut down the physical human existence, this consciousness that we're in can't really figure out a way through it. Have you been in that situation before?

Yeah, weekly.

Tell us about that.

I'm not going to say that I can figure my way out of it, but. No, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. I really don't think of myself as a risk taker, but I probably have been. The reason I don't think of myself as a risk taker is I like to have 900 backup plans on that plan. And it's the always find a way attitude. So that's good. But anxiety is a sign that you're afraid of the future. But if everything in your life is a gift.

And your body is meant to serve you, even if it's like a survival way, you have to ask more questions. Okay, why do I have anxiety? You don't just wake up with anxiety for no reason most of the time. So you've searched your conscious, your subconscious, whatever. You gotta search and find the root of. All right. What are you scared of the future of? All right, well, I'm currently afraid of this, this, this, this, this happening. And so your survivor brain's trying to say, don't do those things. And so you can choose to override them by creating a really good plan that makes that fear obsolete, or you can understand that it really is an unrealistic fear, or you can just say you just really need to analyze the fear. So right now I would say I have a level of anxiety before every single one of our missions. I, I'm about to send my husband over to Ukraine. We are at the very beginning of this attack from Russia and they're currently bombing Ukraine. It is a very scary and dangerous situation. So why am I anxious? Well, I'd prefer not to have anything bad happen to the person that I love. It's unknown. The Russians have quite the army and there's a lot of innocent people dying, and they don't seem to care what the press is doing. And our team doesn't have guns going over there. And so you start saying, all right, well, if innocent people are dying, and the Russians don't care. How do we stay away from those parts? You know, if we don't have guns, then what can we have? You know, what are the right questions we should be asking in order to create a safe yet effective mission? And so instead of being crippled and saying, you, you can't go, or we're not responding, it's too dangerous, how do you find a way, not an excuse, but harness that anxiety to just really play it out? Let me play out every single optional fear, and then we come up with a plan around it. And then when you come up with a plan around it, let me harness this inner negativity to tell you why that plan might not work so that we can find a way that does work again.

Interesting.

I like to use all these things that people would label as negative. Most people are don't say. And it's like, no, we can say it, but I'm not gonna stop there. And that's the key.

That's the key.

I've been living in a room named Courage throughout the entire process of building out this island. And the name is Courage. Every room has a blessing because I would feel the fear, but do it anyway. You can have the anxiety that creates massive amounts of diarrhea, but do it anyway. Just play it appropriately and really ask those questions. I think so many people feel these feelings and then they immediately escape. They I got to get a quick high and override this emotion. So it could be a drug, it could be alcohol, it could be watching something funny. It could be texting somebody you shouldn't. It should be posting something you shouldn't. Whatever it is, that is a distraction, I have chosen most of the time, obviously it's still practice. Instead of escaping, how do I stop? Identify where it's coming from and then create a plan. What about you?

Well, I want to ask you a clarification question.

Is there a difference between fear and anxiety, in your opinion? And if there is, what is that difference or distinction?

I think anxiety is more of that shaky feeling inside because a fear can be more mental. Anxiety can be like full body, full body, like. And it's like, it can be. It definitely can lead to being crippling. But you've got to own your mind. It's the only thing you can control on this entire earth. Experience. That's it is your mind. And so as somebody that's dealt with this my whole life, I've had to find ways to make it serve me. If not, I'll just get knocked out of the game.

Yeah.

So what is the emotion or the energy or the thoughts that's knocking you out of the game? And is it actually there to serve you?

Usually it is. Which is ironic, right? You're being given a blessing that your body is unable to handle or process at that moment. And that is where anxiety stems from, in my opinion.

There's a book called the Gift of Fear.

What?

Yeah. And it's.

How have I not read this?

It's so powerful. I was suggested it, and it really goes through. That was the first time I started thinking this way. It's got story after story. They're terrible stories. Don't read before bed, but about how fear is a gift. So, for example, there's a woman who's taking her groceries in, and she had her hands full and the door was propped open behind her. A rapist walks in her house with a knife right behind her. And when she turned around and saw this guy, you know, in a mask and, like, about to attempt this terrible thing, what happened? Strike of fear, you know? And then when your body goes into that level of fear, everything turns into slow motion because your senses are heightened to that level. Oof. I got chills talking about it. So because the world as she knew it went into slow motion, she literally was able to see something in a drawer, able to pull it out and get out of the house with a plan she had never thought through in her life. But because she was so in that survival mode, enough to be able to make certain moves, she escaped with her life and she did not get raped. So there's again, story after story of that wow. And that's when I started realizing, wow, all these emotions are a gift. All these feelings are a gift. What am I supposed to see? What question am I supposed to ask that had I not been given the gift of this striking, terrible feeling, I wouldn't have noticed.

Wow.

I've never heard you use the word earth experience.

Or make the statement all of your emotions are a gift. That's big for me. I think it's big for a lot of people. Because.

When you experience an emotion that you would label a negative, Right. Just going back to the last episode, that anxiety, that fear, that contraction internally, that intuition pushing you away from something, you get to go, wait a minute. This is a gift. This is a blessing. This is happening for me. Not to me. This was not given to me as a obstacle. This was given to me as a gift, a present that I can unwrap and learn from.

And when you sit down in that moment, you can ask yourself, what do I need to learn? Because I'm feeling this way. And I did not and would not have even been capable of having this conversation. Probably.

Five years ago, maybe six years ago, I thought anxiety. Anxiety attacks or panic attacks were just ridiculous. I was like, those are for weak people who don't.

Don't ever do that.

That's what I'm saying. That's why I thought until I started having them. And I was like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. These are very real.

Hold the phone.

Hold the phone, please. These are terrifying. Why are the. Why is this happening to me? And I love how you mentioned that this. This anxiety, right, Is. You need to find the root of why. It's what's stemming from that. Fear is coming from a place. That gift is showing up. Why? Who is giving it to you? Who gave it to you in the past? How can you unwrap and how can you learn from it?

That feeling is definitely a symptom of a thought. Okay, so anxiety and depression are both symptoms of thoughts. And so if you're not aware of these thought that are going on that are running in the background of your mind, that's when you have to stop and identify them. But one thing you just said I thought was so good, and it's. This is a gift. You said, this is a gift and something I can learn from. I just believe there are two types of people, and you can change to being a different one if you so choose. Are you viewing all of this experience as someone gifting you through love? All these different things that you can learn from and grow from and become better from, that would be going through life as a victor. Or you can look at your past and say, I'm wounded. I'm broken. Look at the evil that's happened to me. Look at the betrayal that's happened to me. I can't trust anyone like, so on and so forth. So you have the choice to go through life as a victim or a victor. And it really is a lens that you're gonna see your world through of saying, is everything that's handed to me a gift or an obstacle? So.

Yes, I just love. You've got that perspective. And not everybody assumes that they let these events dictate their future. They let these events ruin their life. It steals all their joy. And they can't think about anything else. They can't even see the new blessing in front of them or help the people they're supposed to help through the fire when they're stuck in that Spot.

The massive takeaway, my dear friend, my listeners, is this is the aspect of the mindset that needs to continuously be tweaked and altered. Continue to keep that in mind, because most of what you're doing, the tactical things, the things that you think you're hung up on, probably aren't your main challenges. They're probably not your biggest pieces of the puzzle. They're the corner pieces, the really easy ones to spot. How do I pay for this? How do I buy this? How do I get the money for these? Those tactical things that you feel like are the hang up, those are just the corner pieces. Those are easy to see, easy to spot, easy to fix this. The reason that we keep diving massively into this mindset, when you make these appropriate tweaks, these alterations, these changes, these updates, you improve your brain. When you improve your brain, you're able to think new thoughts. When you think new thoughts, you're creating new words. And when you create new words, you create new worlds.

Sounds like such a good quote.

It's a great quote. It's one of my favorite quotes.

Whoever said that. Genius.

A genius. Now back to this. Victor or victim, which is also equally on the level of genius. Geniosity.

Two ways to go through life. You choose.

You can be a warrior or you can be a warrior.

Hey, right?

Same exact thing, right?

Warrior or a warrior. Yeah.

You get to choose. Right? We're changing small letters, right? But these tweaks, when we say and when Brittany says specifically, your words create your worlds, Understand? Those words can have one letter changes. They can have the smallest micro adjustment. My dear friends, our listeners, those are the things that we're after. Those are the things that Brittany and I will hunt down every single day. There is something in my. My physicality, my body, my mind, my relationships, my spirituality, my connection with God. There is some tweak in here that I can make that's microscopic that will change everything for me, and I can do that today.

I think that's what's so fun, though. Both of us are approaching life as something we can be hacking, tweaking, testing, playing with, learning from. It's not like this is it the end all, be all of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like not nothing is. We don't feel like we've figured it out, but we're not not doing this podcast because we don't have it all figured out. All we're doing is sharing what we've got as far as we've got it. And I want to encourage you that whatever you've overcome. You can share with others and because I could ask you, okay, how do you emotionally handle a stock drop and 40% of your portfolio is gone overnight? What are the five things that would help somebody deal with that emotionally? And in two seconds you could tell me. Yeah, why? Because you've dealt with that.

Right?

Right. So whatever you've overcome in your life, it could be abuse, it could be, you know, self imposed abuse, it could be negative mindsets, it could be limiting beliefs, it could be wealth, health, it doesn't matter. But you have something that you can gift somebody else and that's the blessing and that's what you teach on. And a lot of women really feel, oh, I don't have anything. No, you all have something. Yes, but that doesn't mean it's perfect because the P word is a lie. It's all about perspective. Anyway, tomorrow you're going to change your.

Meaning of perfect precisely. Please listen to that team. You have overcome something. That overcoming can easily become.

A humongous life lesson for someone else. Don't let your life sentence turn to a life lesson. Be able to understand that, okay, I've overcome the loss of a child. I'm sad, I'm terrible, I'm upset, I'm depressed. Absolutely. You should feel all those things. Take those feelings, which are all gifts, these are all emotional gifts, and find other parents who might have gone through the exact same thing and shift it for them. If your child has a debilitating physical disease disorder challenge, share that. Share your tips. Share how you have overcome those challenges. Be around other parents that might not know any answer and be there for them. Because when you do that, when you're sharing that gift, when you're sharing that message.

That'S what life is about. You start finding your purpose. You start creating it that way, right?

And that's everything you learn. You can help make it faster for somebody else. Because now it's like if you had to rebuild everything that's taken you 33 years to build Newsom, you lost it all. How long would it take you to rebuild?

Months.

Months. That's impressive. Take me like two years, maybe two years, but two years versus 33 years. And so same thing with pain. You help people get through the fire faster. There's a great quote. It's if you're going through the fire, don't just stop. Keep going, keep going. And so what do you know now? You know, going through a divorce and dealing with that heartbreak and all the weird thoughts and the miscommunication, like, I can now help people like understand who they are, whose they are instead of listening to the voices of poison because somebody says they love you. How do you actually know and be able to identify the kinds of things that love would really say to you and who is God is love? What are the kinds of things that God would say to you so you can rebuild your mind with truth and not get lost in the confusion of poison? So there's, there's things but if you keep these things locked up inside you, that's what they mean by saying your pain is your purpose. Well your pain can become your purpose and it's not your only purpose but it can be a part of your purpose which is being a blessing to others.

Mic drop.

Just re listen to that last 75 seconds 400 times please. It will change your life ladies and gentlemen, as will every other upcoming episode of season three Broke to hook.