S3 E12 - Know Who You Are and Whose You Are

We want you more than anything to win at life. But the only way that you will accomplish that is to have the right messages on loop constantly in your brain. The ones you have right now might be the incorrect ones. So to get the right ones, listen to this episode of Broke to Up.

We are back. Broke to Oak Season 3. Brittany Faith Turner, I have a question. You have said something two or three times. I wrote it down. Taking notes, pen and paper.

Go on.

Who you are and whose you are. There's a distinction there because you've said three different times. That's not like a slip up. Can you clarify for me a little bit? What's the distinction here?

It's deep. Do you think the listeners can handle it?

Are you ready? They're ready.

They're ready.

Let's do this.

It was a powerful download I got a few years ago, and it's really an approach to life. You know, a lot of things annoy me. I think I'm easily annoyed. Plus, I'm a deep thinker. And people used to say all the time, know who you are, know who you are. And I think growing up that was really. It's hard to figure out what that even means.

Sure.

But we talk about that a lot in this podcast, so stay tuned if you're still trying to figure out that one. So know who you are and know whose you are. So earlier we were talking about how you approach life as the loved daughter of the king of the creator of the universe.

Yes.

Now, if you approach life with that kind of like knowing that you're enough because you are the daughter of the creator of the king of the universe, then you're approaching life with abundance. Assuming that life is a gift, assuming everything is a gift, assuming that everything will work out in the fullness of time and that you don't even have to understand it right now, but when you know whose you are and like, you just assume that, like daddy, love is around you walking through life. And I got that coming out of an abusive relationship. I had put my ex's words into my heart. I gave a human being this place in my life where I think because I was insecure in who I was and am I enough or whatever, I really listened to some. I had three different outside voices I really built a lot of my life off of. And at that time, when this person turned from being a voice of love to saying I love you, but following it with, and that's why I'm the only one that'll tell you, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, These horrible things. And he would call me these names. It was really the names of Satan. It's pretty gross. Over and over again, over and over again. And then I started taking on that identity. Oh my gosh, I am all these things. And I believed them about me, especially when they're like, I'm the closest person to you. I'm the only one like just speaking this poison. And I had to rebuild that inner voice of my own thoughts. You know, we talk about being guided and listening to that still small voice. We're referencing God at that point. But as a just you've got your own voice that you're thinking your thoughts through. And if you believe these terrible things about yourself, you really don't have a chance because you're weak. And especially if you're a good person, you don't want to be a bad person. But if you believe you're a bad person, then you're kind of destroy that bad person because you're an evil destroyer. And so how do you unwind and rebuild those thoughts? And so his selling point to me, again, this is not an ex bashing session. I'm just saying that at all. It's not. I mean, absolutely walk in full forgiveness and gratitude for every gift that came out of that experience. But the point is, is it someone close to you that you should trust their voice? It could be a parent, could be, it could even be a freaking mentor you picked. It could be a boyfriend. I mean, most of the girls that are trafficked are loved into it. Their girlfriend did into it in America. Just terrible. We'll talk about more of that later. And so if some voice of someone who on paper is saying I love you and they're supposed to be someone who loves you, but then it's followed by terrible things, but you believe them because again, you're. You're trying to grow, you're trying to learn, you're trying to see where you're wrong. And apparently things are going wrong. It must be me. Here's a quick little shift of an identifier. God is love. We know that that is how he is described. God is love. Well, what are the kinds of things that God would say to me and I love to ask girls this, what are the kinds of things that God would say? You are enough. You are loved, you are beautiful, you are cherished, you are wanted, you are, ugh, oh, cry. I just even talking about it. And that's a really nice way to describe like who you are, you know, you are those things without having to do anything.

Yep.

And when you walk through life believing you are cherished, believing you are loved, believing you are wanted, believing you're enough, believing you are worthy of love, then you'll start attracting that imperfect. We're all imperfect, but God loves us no matter what. And every day is a new opportunity. And so when you know whose you are, when you know that the creator of the universe, the being that is love, and the kinds of things they would say to you, then you do walk around understanding your value. And then you start attracting and deflecting accordingly.

I hope people realize how powerful that is.

That is huge. And that's an emotional.

Revelation, I think, for the vast majority of listeners, myself included, because these words that you picked, specifically the one I picked up on, the one that really hit home, you are cherished. You are worthy of being cherished. You are worthy of love.

When you say those things again, not just internally, but out loud, convictions, your internal convictions, the fortitude from which you are built will either be compromised or will be promised to unfold at a greater level.

And.

I love that interpretation. Knowing where those voices are coming from, knowing who and why.

Because if you can understand that, if we can really, really deep dive down deep and create. Whose words and beliefs of me have I been listening to that I've let hold me back from my dreams.

Fun fact, they're usually yours and they were given to you. And you can change them.

You can. You absolutely can.

That's evidence.

Yeah. It doesn't even have to be a quote, unquote abusive relationship. What are the kinds of limitations that, again, a voice of love. On paper, this person is supposed to be supportive because they're related to me in this way. It all doesn't matter. And it's not about leave your family behind, but it's like sometimes it's a really freaking weird point. All right, so you're a kid and your parent is keeping you alive because, you know, they're basically all on suicide watch from zero to two because you're just a baby and you don't know what you're doing. And so you learn growing up, you've got to listen to these voices.

This is.

And then there's some turning point into adulthood where you have to ask yourself important questions instead of just being handed everything in life from someone else. And it could be a parent, it could be Instagram, doesn't matter. Whatever you're being handed, you have to stop, pull yourself up, and say, what do I want in my one chance on Earth? What are the kinds of Thoughts I need to believe to be able to accomplish those things. Why does it matter? What's the best thing to happen if I do it? What's the worst things that happen if I don't do it?

Right.

It's just being that. I guess we would call that consciousness. I mean people have gotten weird with all these words. So guess listen through it, people. Take the freaking point. Don't get stuck on any words and start making these decisions for yourself. That's really what we want. We call it. We'll call it woke up. Yeah, good definition. In our world at least being awakened woke is being awakened to who you are.

That's precisely accurate. And I had three conversations with three different gentlemen last night because on the island time it's midnight. I had a thousand push ups left to go.

I saw you were on the phone the whole time.

Yeah, in Nashville. Do both. Right? In Nashville it's only 10pm and so West coast it's, you know, 8pm so able to chat with people who are still awake and having conversations with three gentlemen. Three different locations in the world who went through. Two of them went through a divorce, one of them just trying to figure out his general life direction and knowing for me it's so easy to see someone's value. That's one of my gifts is I can see the best versions of them before me or I can hear it or understand where they could go.

The challenge with the vast majority of men and or women is that direction. That path is covered in fear. The only way that you uncover that path is to take those steps over that fear, that discomfort. These words, these beliefs, when you're talking about every single person, this was a random revelation that I had being a dad now is that every human being on this earth had to go through the exact same process, that birthing process. Because when you look at your mom or your parents, you're like, oh, they've always been here. You don't know a world without them being here or their grandparents. But you don't realize or you sometimes you fail to realize they were also once a baby. They were also once six month old with no ability to do anything themselves and were fed all the information. Babies, in my opinion, these beautiful souls are created perfectly. And it's the gifts and beliefs and words and worlds we are giving to them over time and that's what shapes it. And so when you mentioned there is a certain age that you will hit, doesn't matter what age it is. Usually it's that primary memory, your very, very, very first memory, your first conscious memorization.

That is the shift where things start to change and you start becoming the adult and asking the questions that will shape your life. My primary question, my very first question that I asked. How can I make people like me? Shocker. That was my first question asking that. About the age of five, right. I was in trouble. My dad put me in a closet in timeout, and I was in this closet. I see his clothes around me, and my brain just starts going, okay, I'm in trouble. I did something bad. I'm in timeout. How can I get people to like me? So I put my dad's suit on, right? His jacket. I put a tie around my neck. I put his pants on and walked out of this closet. And everyone thought it was the cutest thing ever. And they laughed and they smiled and they liked me. And in that moment, that primary question got created.

It's just funny. You got locked in the closet. Yeah, we're done with you.

Locked in. Threw in one of the two. Done. I'm done with you. I'm in this closet for timeout. And that was it. That was a primary question. So those questions will be formed earlier than a lot of us think they are. And I forget Svetlana's primary question right now. But the beautiful part is it can change. You can change, and you can alter that question. And that question is overrun in your brain over and over and over. These programming, These words, these statements, these affirmations, these beliefs, my dear friends, is what will shape your entire future existence.

For those that don't know and haven't figured it out yet, I want you to describe. I believe this is a Tony Robbins principle discussing the word primary question. At least that's where I've heard it first. What does it mean? What is primary question? I mean, my understanding is it's the main question in your subconscious that stays on loop, right?

Yep. This stays on loop throughout the day, throughout the day, throughout the night, throughout your existence. Right. It's the very first thing that was implanted in your subconscious that you get to go and act. How can I. How will I. How do I insert X, Y, Z? And yours could very well have been, how can I serve.

No, no. It was not something nice like that. It's normally negative.

Correct?

Right. So mine was, why am I not enough? Love it or never enough? Why am I never enough?

Right. And so that's fun.

That's a good one.

That's a great one.

But until it's, like, pulled up and shoved in front of you, you don't realize you're doing it. Nobody means to do this. It's all friggin survival mechanisms.

It is a survival mechanism.

It's all there to serve you. But at some point, get in front of it.

We gotta live. We gotta survive as human DNA that is implanted in your genome, Tuple.

It is, yeah.

You gotta live to live. That's one of my.

Gotta be alive to live.

By Jeremy Alexander Newsom.

My ginormous takeaway from this is, you are created through love.

You are, ladies and gentlemen, the manifestation and the best physical representation of love. And so when you doubt, when you have limiting beliefs, when you have these fears that will creep up these mindsets, these statements, these beliefs of lack, you can know immediately that that is not who you are or whose you are.

I think it's important to, you know, he's saying a lot of people view God as like this dark, evil destroyer. And like he's gonna F you up if you don't stay on the right path. Like, I always thought that it was terrible. I'm gonna call you out. Mom. Mom. If you're listening to this, if we were breaking out as teenagers, as teenagers do and beyond, if you're a lucky duck, Mom's like, God's keeping you humble. And I'm like, I literally would believe that God's putting zits on my face to keep me humble. And that's terrible. So if you haven't had a loving father or if you imagine that, that, you know, God is this whatever, I don't know, fire and brimstone that you have heard about, you know, you have to imagine a loving father. That's what I would just pretend, like, what would a loving father do? And then I would look at examples like you with your son and see that there is nothing you would withhold from him. Right?

Correct.

Do you want to hurt him so he learns a lesson?

No.

Are you going to let him learn things in a safe environment?

Have to.

Yeah. But you would do that out of love. But you're not gonna like, literally push him down the cliff just so he learns.

Yeah.

To not walk on the side, you know, you're not gonna intentionally, ever not feed him. You're gonna never intentionally, like, make sure he suffers.

Right.

Why?

Because that would not be the truest expression of love.

You just love him.

That's it.

And you have such limited ability to love because you're human. So how could the being that is love? How much more would he want to gift us with? And that is that helped me a lot because I did grow up believing God's out to get me and that, you know, if I'm messing up at all, it's just everything's going to be withheld and whatever the smiting will take place. And that has been a really nice shift because once I started believing he's for me for real, and everything's a gift, I have such a nicer life. It doesn't mean I don't have problems. But again, the way you view them and interpret them and move forward once you're experiencing these things creates a different emotion, a different energy, creates a different life experience. And so I have much more joy, much more happiness. I'm looking for the blessing now instead of getting lost in the potential problem. And it's just better. It's better.

We're going to talk about that in the next episode. There's zero chance our listeners do not want to hear more about that revelation because I have a few of my own in that same, same ethos, if you will. Because if we get to the epitome of this entire season talking about impact and love and destiny and future and clarity and vision, purpose, it's going to be the next episode.

Absolutely.

See you there, Sam.