S3 E19 - Hope is HUGE

Do you have broke habits or do you have woke habits? There's a massive difference, a huge distinction. And the changes are monumental. Let's discuss that in this episode.

Last two episodes. Bernie Faith Turner. We were discussing if someone doesn't have many resources or any resources, how they can revolutionize their life. But in those moments when they have nothing, they might feel down, they might feel unmotivated, or they might feel depressed. How can someone get over that depression, that fear?

Great question.

Have you ever been depressed?

No.

That's so crazy to me. I thought it was so normal for everybody, right?

It is. I'm not saying it won't be. And I'll say this from a standpoint of if I have been depressed, I don't know, it maybe I haven't recognized that.

You would know. You'd totally know.

And I've had a few people tell me that too.

It's like not noticing you're pregnant eight months later. Like you. I feel like you would figure that out. Are you pregnant?

Yeah. I don't think I ever have been. And I'll label that as a gift. That's a blessing that's happened in my life. I've been sad, I've been hungover, I've been tired. I've never been depressed. What does it feel like?

I think the best way to describe it is waking up, not wanting to wake up, and nothing matters. You don't care about anything.

You just stop caring. And then you want to feel anything and you want to care so bad. And so, you know, when you think about how do you pull somebody out of it? It's not just like, have them think about something they care about.

Like, that's my answer. It's a bad answer, huh?

It's deeper than that. Yeah, it's deeper than that. It's. Shoot it really. I have created a system for myself. As you guys have heard, I'm into systems and I'm into systems for at least have an awareness to know what's going on. So my little checklist of overcoming depression is to, number one, start listening to Outwitting the Devil by Sharon Lecter. And again, it's not a Christian book or a non Christian book, but it's Napoleon freaking hill people. He's the common denominator of all successful people. And it's the book. I believe we've talked about this before. I'm going to keep talking about it. He wrote it in the 30s. It didn't get released until late 80s, 2011.

Oh, wow.

It didn't get released until 2011. Because his wife made him promise that until the whole family was dead, it can't go out there. And I was like, well, why would she do that? And you read it. And you know why? Because she. He talks through all the tricks that knock us out of the game. And I'm not ruining the book for you, but the biggest one is to not. It's not to kill you, it's to get you to be ineffective. So what are the ways that darkness, Satan, whoever, the opposite of your highest and best self can get you to be ineffective? And it's really interesting because he starts going through the tricks. It's everything from lies about your potential shared through school, shared through churches. It's everything from eating bad and which creates a poison in your body that affects your brain and makes you tired and not optimal. It's so interesting. So I listen to that so I can be reminded that I'm drifting and remember that this state isn't me and it's not forever. And I think our brain likes to project that what is now is forever. And so if you can remember. Nope. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. I gotta go through the fire. So I try to wake myself back up. And then you can start having hope. Hope is huge. Hope is inside you and says there is a chance this will change.

Yeah.

And the next trick is to literally just go sit in front of your vision board. That's why I tell you to make it sit in front of your vision board and look at those pictures and remember if you're. That you do care about things and it does matter if you don't get up and go after it and other people are affected. And even if you don't care today, there are people on that board you do care about and they do matter and you impact their life. I think one of the things with suicide that people really sell themselves on like during that pre suicide moment is that nobody cares about you and they're better off if you're not there.

Sure.

Which is obviously not true.

Correct.

Obviously not true.

No.

So having important. We talked about this before, but it's. You know, if you are having suicidal thoughts, write a list of all the things you want to do before you kill yourself. You do have that control. And then start doing them. And then the cool thing is when you start doing them, you don't want to kill yourself anymore. Because humans need progress, they need growth. And when you can start overriding that decline, that. That slumbering, not caring. I hate myself inside. And you start Replacing it with winning, progressing with having a meaningful conversation. Because it could be your last. Guess what having that meaningful conversation will respond with somebody else giving you a meaningful conversation, telling them how you really feel, writing that book, sharing that thing. Like, start doing those things and. And you will have an aligned life. Your happiness will start returning, and the whole time, you still feel like you're very much in control.

Love that. Step one, start listening to Outweighing the Devil. Step two, sit in front of your vision board.

Step three, make a list of all the things you want to do and then start doing them.

That's it. Just. Just start chipping away. Humans need. Okay, so you mentioned humans need progress and growth. If you're feeling unmotivated, if you're feeling depressed, if you're feeling sad, find a thing that you can go after. Could be the easiest thing ever. I'm going to do one push up and one sit up and one squat. Cool, easy workout. But when you do that, you're like, whoa, okay, wait a minute, I did a thing right. You can check that list off. You will immediately feel better. I agree. Because that is Growth is progress. It's showing you that you can still achieve something.

Oh, he's very into pushups right now. So you're just feeling successful on your last day of your calendar club of pushups. But the pro tip of our lifetime for getting out of depression, getting out of funk, all that negativity is to serve someone else.

That's it.

That's, again, an innate thing your soul needs. It's ingrained in us as humans. Find someone else that is in a worse situation than you in some way and find a way to help them. And so the thing that helped me the most, which happened to be the darkest time of my life, was when BVI got hit by a hurricane. I came over and got to serve. And again, I had lost almost every thing I'd ever worked for. My marriage was gone. My mentors were gone. I was in lawsuits. It was the worst. I didn't want to eat, and I didn't feel like living. But I found people who had lost everything and had hidden underneath a slab of their house on a cliff, like, the slab. And then there's this, like, little tiny hole underneath it. And their house blew away. They hid in this hole. They lost everything they owned, and they still dared to say that God is good. And I was like, well, if they have a reason to praise, I can find one.

Hope is huge.

Hope.

I'll tell you a quick story about that. And I Forget the exact college who did the research, so I won't insert one, but let's just say there was a college or university organization that took rats, and there was two sets of rats. And poor rats, they die all the time for human experiments. But one group was, they put two rats in a bucket of water and see how long they could swim. The other bucket, same exact thing. Two rats and a bucket of water. The one bucket. How long can these rats live just by swimming? That's it. Six minutes. Now, the second bucket, three minutes in, they lifted the rats out of the water, put them on a flat surface, and then put them back in the bucket. The second time, the rat swam for six hours.

Wow.

And the question is, why? Because they had hope that they could get rescued.

That's so sad.

It is so sad. God, like, that rips my heart apart every time.

When you look at Brittany's face on the YouTube team, that's how you know this is caring. This is what caring feels like. If that heart. If that story hits your heart a little bit, you are a caring human because you're also like, they were hopeful, like, we could have rescued them. Hope is huge if you can place yourself in a moment where that servitude and you're providing that cherished caring to someone else. Fear and depression doesn't live in servitude.

No, it doesn't. And that's amazing. And that is why these trips that we do to go serve people are so addictive. Because it gives me a perspective that gives me an edge in business. And that edge is, this is not about you, Brittany. Remember, remember, remember, you can get through this so you can keep helping people again. How can you stay present to your why? That's why we, like every system we share at the Dream Summit is about staying present to your why. So you can overcome the obstacles, so you can overcome the negative thoughts, so you can overcome the limitations from the past or the fact it's never been done before. It doesn't matter. How do you stay present? Because if you can remember, then you have hope in your heart. And you can go for so much longer than what people ever thought was possible or have ever seen possible.

Yes, you will show people what they're capable of. You will be the inspiration.

I would have to say, if you are at any point in time feeling that depression, feeling that crippling lack of desire, figure out a way to go and put your purpose to work. Go to a different country, go to a different city, go to a different state. Get out of the house, go to a soup kitchen, go to a homeless shelter, go to an orphanage, go somewhere or go to senior citizen center and just spend time. Go give. Right. That gratitude will fill up your heart quicker than you could imagine.

I love that. Thank you for sharing that. I'm sure someone out there listening was like, that's exactly what I need at this exact moment. If you are hearing that and you feel that way, share us, let us know. Tell us. Right.

Type A1, type A1 into the chat.

Bain.

Oh man. How have you overcome sadness? You know, obviously it's. Why. Well, I've never been like a hard drinker, but I, you know, especially in like the sad times of my life, I'd be like, well, I need one glass of wine to go to sleep.

Yeah.

But then I was so depressed the next day, I didn't realize that I just had a downer in my system that was fueling extra depression. Oh, that's fun. So you've, you've been down, you've been sad. How. What do you do to get out of that?

It's interesting that people do just resort to alcohol because they're like this. It makes you feel. And that's what the reason people do is like, I want to feel something. They don't realize they're adding more depression to the fire.

It's so weird. It's like, I want to feel, but it's also a number.

Extremely interesting. Yeah. I mean the damage that alcohol does is just substantial, but people do it all the time. And talking about outweighing the devil, I mean, that's a huge.

That's the one in there.

That's one in there.

Don't ruin the book for people though.

I won't ruin the book. But FYI.

What do I, what do I do if I feel sad? I would have to resort back to very closely to this list. But essentially I do, I try to absolutely place myself in a position where I can help and provide and give something of other value to somebody. I do.

That's cool.

Is as quick as possible now in the, I don't know, 10 years ago is a whole different story. Right? Yeah, of course I'm self medicating. I'm just, I'm probably going to buy a giant bag of peanut M M's.

You go peanut, not peanut butter.

Peanut M M, no butter, all nut.

I don't even know who you are anymore.

Speaking of, if you like creamy peanut butter, just go ahead and stop listening now. We're not friends.

Yeah, well, I agree there. I agree we have values here.

Have not used people. Yes, but that was. That was one of my go tos. But, I mean, it's amazing that you that tweak, right? When you start talking about making alterations, what is your routine? When you do get sad, start analyzing that because those routines can be shifted. What do a lot of people do? Oh, I'm gonna go veg out. I'm gonna go sit on a couch and I'm gonna watch a TV show and just relax and numb my brain. Turn my brain off. Yeah, I'm tick tock. I'm gonna go Instagram. I'm gonna watch videos. There's nothing wrong with watching movies. The point I'm making is these alterations can also be shifted. The alterations. And what do I do when I XYZ get off of work when I have a giant win? So when you celebrate, what do most people do? Brit, I'm going get some drinks. Let's get some drinks. Let's celebrate with drinks. Let's drink. People are starting to tie alcohol to success. People tie getting drunk to success. These are the habits. I'm sad, I'm winning. I. I've accomplished something. I failed. What do you do in those moments? And how can you make a giant shift? So for me and a lot of the guys at Aero Recovery Group, one of the ways that we celebrate a weekend win. Hiking. Right. We put on 30 or 40 pounds on our back and we go hiking for five or six miles. That's a celebration for us. That's a victory lap.

Great. Great replacement.

Great replacement.

How can you medicate with things that are good for you? You know, how can you shift that internal reward system? We were raised that candy is the highest reward. Oh, oh. I mean, we were fed, like, bran for breakfast, Mom. Still, you shouldn't have done these things. I've got a podcast. I'm going to talk about you. Mom, she fed us bran for breakfast. Bran. We weren't allowed to have any sugar cereal. And yet if we did all of our work, all of our school, all of everything, then we got a Reese's cup one at the end of the week from the treasure box.

Nice.

Which is like.

So in my brain, junk food is the highest reward. And so it was fascinating. Yes. And healthy food. So if we acted up, we got an extra serving of broccoli on our plate or any vegetable.

Interesting.

So in my brain, that's part of adding to our. So how can we be present enough and adult enough to look at your life and put the good things in and replace these Weird habits from people you probably don't want to be like and replace them with great habits. And so it's hard because I've always like, I like alcohol. I don't want to not drink it, but it's not good for me. It makes me feel terrible. And the common denominator in the people I'm currently following and respecting in my life as mentors, even from afar, none of them drink. And I was like, there's something to it. Sure, there's something to it. So what is it? How can I start acting that way? And what will my life look like if I stop something? It's not evil. It's not a vice in my life.

Correct.

But it's not helpful either.

Correct. Yeah. Those tiny shifts, I mean, that's what broke to Work is about. Because when you're broken, you will have broken habits. Right? You'll do the things that broke people do. Welcome to the name of the podcast. Right. When I was broke, broke, I would do the things every other broke person does. Now, when we are awakened, we have to make those changes, those shifts, those mental adjustments on exactly what Bernie mentioned right now. Right? Everyone knows that alcohol is not Bernie's vice. If we can go down a direction where we go, all right, I'm just going to shift. Every change that I make is going to be related to how do I reward myself, how do I overcome, how do I tweak and really alter the habits in my life as it relates to winning, to happiness, success, to accomplishment. There's so much more to cover and talk about, but in my opinion, the best place for them to learn those habits, those tweaks, and those adjustments. Brittany.

Broke to woke.

Broke to woke. Well, I'm going to go ahead and give you a little teaser about the next episode.

Okay.

We're going to give you a checklist of items of what the rich, poor, and middle class do so you can self identify and move from one category to another.

Let's go.

Hopefully trending up. We'll see you in the next episode.