S3 E21 - E.G.O. – Edging God Out

In this episode, you're going to learn not only what ego is and how you can eliminate it from your life, but you are going to learn how to Tony Robbins cry. And if you've never walked in that level of power, this is your chance.

Jeremy Newsom, you've once described to me the acronym of EGO standing for edging God out. How has the understanding of ego and how it plays itself out in one's life changed your life?

Let me tell you a story. There's a book called the Power of Now.

I love that book.

Do you?

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

Way to be surprised.

I am surprised. But I love you.

I told you about that book.

No, it wasn't me. That was someone else. But I. Yeah, it's good. I'm trying to remember where I bought it from. It's irrelevant. Got the book. I thought when it was recommended to me by a friend, I was like, yeah, the Power of Now. Accomplishing it.

No.

Get this stuff done now.

Absolutely the opposite.

Why are you waiting?

And I opened page one and I started reading it. And here's Eckhart Tolle talking about ego. And I'm like, what is this weirdness? This is strange. This is seven or eight years ago. This is a while ago. I'm reading this and chat in page two, page three, page. I have no idea what's happening. I cannot figure this out. He is not talking to me. I cannot truly comprehend the words he is using. Talking about self. Keep saying self. What does your self feel? Dive deep into yourself. I can't wrap my head around these metaphors.

Super deep.

It is.

It is.

It's a very deep book. Right.

Twilight Zone on this one.

And he starts talking about ego. And I just can't truly wrap my head around that topic.

Yeah.

And I think the edge in God out acronym, I could be mistaken. I think it was Ryan Holiday.

That was his approach and his perspective of that, which is just truly terrific. But essentially edging God out, meaning we are created in God's image, as we've talked about before in one of my favorite episodes about God is love. And going through that discussion of his light and his purpose and that focus. And when you are attached to something.

To the feeling of something, to knowing why something has to happen in your life and having it attached. This is a keyword, attachment. You have to have a feeling for an outcome.

And that is ego. Having this feeling of an attachment, because there is no other determination of having received something in life without knowing the feeling of it having entered into your spirit.

Yeah. So the challenge that most individuals are going to have to overcome in their life is the removing of that attachment. Because that attachment is ego. Having a self and knowing that you only care about what you have and what you're achieving and that no value is associated outside of that unless you have those things.

That is what ultimate success, ultimate happiness, I would say transcendence is all about.

Wow, that makes so much sense. I have never heard it described that way, but.

One time when we were in Africa and we were donating solar lights and the people, a few people in line were taking more than one and had an attitude about it. I was pissed. I was like, really? We raised all this money, we came all the way over here and like, you're being a jerk. And my mentor said, brittany, true giving is being able to give without having to see your desired result.

Boom.

So what is love? True love is loving without.

Being promised a specific response. Well, I wrote you a love note. Did you not write me a freaking love note? Or, you know, like, what, you're not keeping a record of wrongs. You're not tallying things up against them. I really like that description because, you know, we found out later that they were. I was upset enough to not want to go back to that region. I was like, I don't know, 22 or something. And I found out later that somebody. There's a language barrier, obviously, and somebody was taking one for a little old lady who couldn't get out of her hut because she couldn't walk, you know, so of course you're being defensive. It's like fighting for food for your kid. Of course you're going to people rob stores to feed your kid.

Of course.

So I misunderstood and it let me ruin the experience until I understood that the attachment can ruin everything because we can't see in the fullness of time, we don't know hearts. We don't know what's really going on. We don't know what triggers are taking place. When you said this one word. That is what their dad said to them before they beat them every day. You don't know. You don't know. So living in a place of grace extension, you're going to have a happier life because again, so tough. It's like. Because humans, I think, are instinctually. I don't know if the word would be barbarically wired to survive, take and things mean things.

Absolutely.

So I guess that's what it means by being more conscious, which again, don't let the freaking word ruin it for you. You judgeies out there listening to this and trying to turn this off because you heard a word that you don't know what it means or you don't identify with it. We're trying to use words here to describe something deep, something spiritual, something that's bigger than us, and that's the best one we get. So I guess that's what it means.

We can't see in the fullness of time.

Incredible. I think the challenge in the story that many people are very familiar with, but I'll tell it anyway, is I'm in our session with a very specific woman, a teacher, and she's asking all of these individuals a very powerful question. What is the meaning of life for you? Now I'm going into this class, this program, like, it's very Frou Frou. It's really, like, it's. It's full on mystical and like unicorns and rainbows. I'm like, this is no right. I want to get stuff done.

I'm gonna run 27 miles and make a million dollars.

Right Today. Correct. I don't want. No, I don't got time for candy and lollipops, okay? And she's asking everyone around the circle, what's the meaning of life? And I'm. I can't wait for her to get to me because I have the right answer now. That's ego, by the way, if you're listening, I'm like, I have the right answer. I cannot wait for her to get to me. Everyone else is giving the wrong answers, and they will all be inspired and enriched when I give my answer. So she gets to me, looks at me, and goes, jeremy, I'm the last person, by the way. What is the meaning of life? And I go, it's all about the pursuit of happiness.

And so she looks me dead in my soul and says, are you tired of pursuing.

Oh, for those of you who can't see his face right now. I've seen you tear up once in our relationship of knowing each other at all, and you are currently tearing up. Why? What does that mean to you?

That was what I was pursuing for so long in my life, was that happiness because it was being done out of an egotistical state of achieving, of striving, of one day I will have.

Enough, and people will like me, and.

People will like me, and people will respect me, and people will admire me, and I need that admiration. I need that love. I need that happiness. But not now.

Not yet, right? I'm not in the fullness of my time.

You have to Earn it.

I have to earn it. I have to earn happiness. I can't just have it right. And so when she looks at me in my soul and says, are you tired of pursuing? Are you ready to just be happy? I was like, I'm going to marry her. So hard. You did.

I knew exactly who you were talking about. I know keyword butterflies.

And she was absolutely right. I was, in that moment, living in an ego state. Because an ego state doesn't have to be a bad state. It doesn't mean that it has to be something that is horrific and non altruistic. But to really start healing the soul of mankind or healing your soul, you have to realize that your soul, yourself, and your ego can all be the exact same thing.

Hmm.

And to no longer have attachment to an earthly or a physical embodiment of your ego, your spirit, your soul.

Knowing that it is your purpose, and that's not a physical thing, it's not a tangible thing that you have to have or achieve once you separate yourself from that attachment, happiness and energy are unparalleled.

For me. And that's a journey, and that's an understanding that I hope everyone listening can live in and can be in in their lifetime, because that is just the embodiment of love.

You know, you are a pretty alpha male. This is a question you're unprepared to answer. You've never talked about it.

Bring it.

I'm also married to a pretty alpha male, and relatively. It's been really interesting to watch him go through the summits.

Yeah.

Because the first forgiveness exercise we did on the island, everybody's going around having the most amazing, epic.

Breakthroughs. And then I call on this person I love, and he just, like, he was not. He was not into it, and he had this little. I would call it like an outburst. And he was viewing at that time doing this kind of inner work the same way you were. Oh, nice. Have fun with your butterflies and rainbows. I got stuff to do, you know, I got people to save. And all of it, by the way, is still from a holy place. Nobody's wrong in that thinking.

Bingo.

It sounds lame, but as an alpha male, you know, we'll have Jeremy Locke on here eventually and let him share his experience of actually doing the work and how it's changed his life and his bank account and his relationships and his happiness. But for you, you know what? When did you wake up to understanding as a man?

Because I think it's uncomfortable for everybody, but it's way less normalized for men. When did you make the shift into realizing that that was valuable? And do you still struggle with it? If you do, what do you do to not struggle with it?

Good question. I will answer it with, when did I wake up to that fact? I think the Power of Now was a big piece of it. That was a big, strong book. But when I was reading that, because I had to read it six times, I did, too. Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah. Because, like, I'm an idiot, obviously. First time read through my book, I.

Wrote it back down to read it again. This week, I wrote it down again. I was like, why have I not read that book in a couple weeks?

Yeah. Yo, Tolle, you're cool, man. Thanks for being in our life.

Yeah.

When I saw Tony Robbins at a UPW, and I've been to 13, I.

Think we don't do acronyms on this show.

UPW stands for Unleash the Power within with your boy T dubs Tony Robbins.

He still acronym?

He was. Yeah. He was telling a story and he was just full on tears.

This guy was crying in front of thousands of people.

Not apologizing for it. Didn't say sorry.

He was showing people what his heart looked like. He was showing people depth and character, and nobody was judging him.

Was he any less manly for doing that?

No. Right. At all. At all. And there was a time where I would watch an NFL superstar or NBA superstar win at the highest level, and they would start crying, and I would go, what a pansy.

Why are you crying? Yeah. Realizing this over time and starting to see and starting to understand in that power of now and starting to shape the internal understanding and the internal fortitude of the definition of a man. And going back to the character of men, when people go, who are the greatest men who have ever walked the earth, men or women? Mankind is irrelevant. You stop and realize that all of them displayed emotions at a level that is uncharacteristic in today's society. And I craved and wanted that. I wanted to be an uncharacteristic human. I want to be uncommon among uncommon people.

Ooh. So you had to kind of sell yourself on the fact that though it wasn't something you've personally witnessed in your household or in the group around you, it was a leadership quality that you admired.

Precisely.

And a common denominator among all great leaders. So you allowed yourself. Sounds like you were given permission to. I've seen you be able to pull that vulnerability out in others by being vulnerable yourself.

Yeah.

I watched it in Jeremy Locke, too. He just literally starts Sharing a story in the rest of the room's like, guards down. Guards are down. Like, if he can share, and then you can share. And it comes from a true place of strength.

Yes.

As a woman, it's not like he's slobbering all over himself up at the front of the stage and, like, can't keep it together because he's got undealt with things that he's not prepared to share. But it's being willing to show your heart, being willing to be open and being willing to cry, being willing to say, I've done things I'm not proud of, and I want to not carry that with me. And that's hot. I mean, that is hot. To me, it's like, wow, that looks like the future father of my children. You know, like, you have the. Everybody's got their stuff.

Yep.

It's how you move through it that's gonna make you an uncommon person among uncommon people. So one fun fact about Tony Robbins crying. For those YouTube viewers watching this, ladies, when you're being vulnerable and you can't help but cry, I've trained my sisters, and I've trained other women, and I'm training myself. When you cry, you Tony Robbins cry. Now, what does that mean? When you cry, you just let it.

Go.

All the way down, and you don't wipe it. Now, when it's not going that way, it's a little harder to not wipe it publicly. You're allowed, but if it's just a tear, you let it go.

Can we tell Tony Robbins that there is a verbiage called the Tony Robbins cry?

Hey, I'm sure he knows.

He has to.

He's got to know. It's powerful.

I mean, you can call him and just tell him.

I'll text him. Text him this clip.

That's right. I love that approach. And I know it sounds maybe potentially insignificant to some of our listeners, but for the vast majority, especially for my men out there listening, if you want a better relationship with your woman or your business partners or your children or yourself. Or yourself, the key is removing that ego and allowing the true purpose and the true love that fills you to be expressed outwardly without attachment to the achievements.

Amazing. I don't know if I could add anything else. So this. This is a wrap. This is a wrap. But in the next episode.

It'S gonna be really good. Stay tuned.

A lot of greatness coming.

A lot of greatness coming your way.