S3 E22 - How To Be Truly Confident

Self confidence. Were you born with it? If not, how do you build it so that you know you can overcome any obstacle that might stand in your way? Find out in this episode.

A word that was brought up in the very last episode that I love so much is vulnerability.

I think, though, in order to be vulnerable, there has a certain level of confidence that has to be internal to really have the fortitude to show that vulnerability. Would you agree?

Yes.

Where does that confidence come from? What does it look like?

I would say that that confidence normally born from experience. Okay, so I was actually on the phone with my mom today and we were talking about overcoming anxiety and overcoming this and how we can do it. And I was telling her the best way to do it is to look back at.

The truth. What do you know is true? And you look at everything you've already overcome, then you'd ask a really practical question. If that is true now, then why would God let me die here at the end or never do this thing? Or why would he let me fail now? So I'm probably going to figure it out. So very logical. Start in the logical place. But in looking back, I see where when I was in my car, I had to break off these weird thoughts that someone was going to save me, somebody was going to come bail me out, that I was going to marry Rich, like in that next couple months to get me out of that car. Like, I know it sounds weird to you, but that's a normal thought for some people. And instead of having those as options or my parents just like buying me something because those weren't available, that survival, creativity opened up and connected in my brain and said, you have to figure this out. And I believe when that unlocks, it connects to God directly and starts to download plans. And that plan might be a best guess. Best guess, Best guess, Best guess. But that's why you hear me say I've got 900 backup plans. It's not that I don't have faith in the first one, but I'm surrendered enough to know if my thought might not be the right one. We're going to keep going, but I'm not going to die here in this car. And Heidi Baker, who I think is one of the most magnificent humans on earth, wonderful missionary in Africa. I've like, I don't want to say idolized, because I'm not supposed to say idolized, but don't have a better word fangirl out about this woman. She just like, embodies everything that is love and lives it and serves the Orphans. And I am so jealous of your life. Anyway, got to meet her one day, and she.

Was talking to me, and I said, how do you keep going? You've been stabbed, you've been shot, you've been put in jail, you've had, like, floods, famines, like, you see some of the worst things in the world. How do you keep going? And she just grabbed my hands and said, britney.

If you don't quit, you win.

Nice.

And I will never forget that. So I. Somebody happened to take a picture of her grabbing my hands and looking me dead in the eyes and saying that to me. And I have a picture of that on my vision board with a caption that says, if you don't quit, you win. And so this confidence doesn't come from saying, I have enough education or I have a good enough network to get me out of this, which I do have. I've been growing in those things. But I'm always pushing myself to do something I've never done before or that my friends have never done before. And there's not a good fallback. So the confidence comes from two places. One, God's never going to leave me or forsake me. In the end, that will not be true. And two, you will figure this out because you will not quit. Do I think about quitting?

If you're anything like me, you do.

Every day I think about it more than you. But then you think about, what does quitting really look like? Oh, you're just going to sit in this corner and cry for, okay, you can do that for a day.

Okay.

But you can't stop there forever. You know, Walt Disney went bankrupt, I think, seven times. Seven times bankrupt. What? I don't know if I would be signing the bankruptcy papers on, like, the sixth time and be like, well, we should draw it again.

What?

But look how smart he looks now. So that's when we say the fullness of time. You know, Tesla didn't get to realize the beautiful fruit of his work until, like, I mean, I don't even know if he ever got to physically realize it. So what are you doing on behalf of humanity that you may not get to experience the praise of it in your lifetime, but it's still worth it. And that's when you take ego out of orchestrating. Good.

There was a question that was asked in a summit that I would like to propose to you, ask you, because all of our listeners need this answer, and it does stem and relate to confidence. But specifically, do you feel that someone has to hit rock bottom? In order to succeed?

No, not at all.

Because there's a lot of stories of.

Yeah, it's a common denominator because at rock bottom, you create the resolve, slash, the self confidence to not go back or to open up your brain or to try new things. A lot of people have hit rock bottom because at rock bottom, their brain has to think of new options. So my favorite question to ask people when they tell me it's impossible is to say, if your mom's life depended on you figuring this out, how would you do it? And that's me simulating rock bottom for people. If your child's life depends on you figuring this out, would you figure it out? Yeah. We've both seen where you say, hey, if you had to make $60,000 a month extra right now to buy your dream, could you do it? No. You've got 60 days to figure this out.

Can't do it. No.

Can't do it. Okay, well, if you had to buy medicine for your child to stay alive and it cost an extra $60,000 a month and you had to pay for it for two years in a row, would you figure it out?

What does everyone say?

Yes. If that was Jason, could you figure that out? Done overnight, right now. Why? Why? Because it's not an option to fail. Because the consequences of quitting or not trying or not figuring it out are too big. And when you realize what a gift you can be and how many people will be positively impacted by you going for the thing, going for the dream, going for this vision that's in your heart, if you really could see that impact for generations, you wouldn't be so afraid to try.

Okay. Okay. That's interesting, because you know what I think a lot of people probably don't do. I think that confidence will stem from someone sitting down and doing a visualization of their potential impact. If I got this right, if I got the money, if I built this, if I created this legacy, this hotels, these developments, this skyrise, this new xyz, new park, If I built that business, if I created that software, if I disrupted that industry.

What impact would I leave? There was a Shaquille o' Neal quote that he. This is so cool. Shaq's one of my new favorite friends, by the way. Like, mentor is just, what a great guy. He was studying with a gentleman that we all might have heard of before. His name was Jeff Bezos. So Jeff Bezos is Shaq's coach. Fun fact. And Shaq said that Jeff's answer to one of Shaq's questions was this. Shaq said, what type of businesses should I invest in now? And Bezos answer was, only the ones that will positively influence and impact the world.

Whole different filter for Shaq now.

Absolutely.

Yeah. Whole different filter. So when he's seeing and sitting down and asking himself, okay, what impact is this going to create? If I get all these things right, guess what? That's going to create confidence.

Compounding. Good. Yes, compounding good. We're going to talk about that in the next episode. Is where you invest and also where your sources of income are even stemming from in the first place. And could they be aligned as being a force for good as well? But that's the next episode.

That's right.

So what about you? How has self confidence been developed in your life? Cause you walk around kind of like the most confident guy in the world that's also never been depressed, never had suicidal thoughts. Like, I mean, do you even. Were you just born this way? Is it a dude thing?

That's a good question. I don't know if it is a dude thing. I don't think it is. I mean, I realize that there's people that do benefit from that and do live that direction, but you're kind of right. And this is scary. Don't know why. Still searching for this answer sometimes. I was born that way.

You wasn't.

I was.

You was. Okay, I was.

George is coming back out of both of us.

I was. I truly cannot remember a time where I didn't have this energy, didn't have this propulsion. Even though 6, 7, 8. Or the times that I was going down the bad paths, going down trauma, traumatic experiences, getting punched in the face, literally and figuratively. I just always had it and not sure why. Maybe it's my gift and I wrote that down as well. Realize that you are the gift that will be a confidence booster.

Tell me more about that because that sounds like you're just a gift to women. Like in the way that men to say that in movies. Like I'm a gift to women, you.

Know, it's fortunately definitely not what I was talking about.

What does the you are the gift mean then?

So imagine for a moment if you have the ability to provide something to someone that will change their life, but the only way they get it is to realize who you are internally. That is you realizing that inner self, that self realization, that depth, the mindset we've been talking about this entire season.

That impact is really being able to change and help that person move forward. That is that gift. That is the you are the gift of provide some type of real, actual, legitimate progress, change and growth for another person. Pull that out of you when you realize that that is what is inside of you is change and contribution to society.

Confidence is going to grow from that. It will. And it does not have to be an egotistical way. It doesn't have to be like as you mentioned, that would be an example of I am a gift to women. You're welcome, ladies.

You're welcome.

I am now in the room. What are your other two wishes.

Or.

That came out way too fast. Practice that.

I've said that before. Or.

What impact can I truly create for this individual in front of me and how can I do it in a way, as we mentioned in the last episode, where I am fully absolved from the outcome. I don't need care or not focused on what's going to happen if I do or do not do this, but I'm going to do it anyway. And the outcome is going to be an amazing, prosperous, bountiful one. And if it's not, I will not be infected negatively.

Hmm, interesting. It reminds me of an Elon Musk quote.

Uh oh.

And it's if it's important enough, it doesn't matter if the odds are against you.

Yeah, I love that one.

And that really is a sign of his confidence of saying it's worth trying because it's important enough. So either you're born confident like Jeremy Newsom, or you're born insecure as crap like I was apparently, and nervous wreck, terrified, dealing with all these fun physical emotions that try to knock you out of the game, then you have to create systems to overcome them because that's not who you want to stay being, right? If it's important enough, if you realize you were born with a purpose, you were born with a mission. And what your work is, is important. Your life work. So it doesn't matter if you're born one way or the other. Find a way to live your gift. Find a way to walk in everything that you are called to walk in, regardless of if your gift is confidence naturally or not. Because I have other gifts that are natural precisely that he doesn't have. And that's what makes it fun. I make him have so many conversations I don't feel like having because he's more confident than me.

I do. And that's why we're a good team. I get to do stuff you're too nervous to do, but that is life. That's why we're forced to all work together. And be easier to just be a silo and be able to do life. But that doesn't elevate who you are as a human being. It's about understanding each other's gifts. Learning, growing, connecting. Figuring this out.

Yeah. Surrounding yourself with people that pull that greatness out of you, that show you and tell you what your gifts are so that you can realize it. Because when you do, your confidence will grow. And as your confidence grow, you're going to be able to take additional steps and open additional streams of income and different sources of wealth and different.

Approaches that will compound who you are. I mean, the compounding effect. Great book. I'm sure everyone here has read it.

So simple, so true, so simple. Ripple effect on the little things that you do.

That's an example, right? This stemming from confidence. Because if you don't have the confidence to start that business or to say yes to this development or this opportunity that's coming your way, you might not have a source of that wealth. You might not have that income. And if you don't, you won't be able to go as fast or as far or impact as many people. And I would love to get your opinion and your advice and your thoughts on those sources of wealth. Is there a time that we can chat about that?

I think we could talk about that in the next episode. Stay tuned.