S4 E06 - Why Do Hard Things

In this episode, learn how J Money Newsom chooses to suffer on his own terms and why you should, too.

So, J Money, we just talked about some of my triple prizes of last year and what's going on. I want to hear about yours. You have made quite a few big moves in the last year, which took you from just making a difference for you to now making a difference for the world. Tell me all about that.

Yeah, thanks. First and foremost, I love the triple prizes thing. I think it's a great idea. I think you're the only person I've ever heard say it.

Layering impact, baby.

That's right. That's right. And also, thank you for calling me J Money, people. It's a nickname now, and I've been noticed and recognized a few times.

Really?

We'll say J Money. Yeah, it's amazing, you know, all thanks to you. One of the things that you tasked me with and challenged me with, and I forget the exact individual in GeForce who said, hey, all these weird endurance events that you do, you should try to raise money to do them.

Right.

I was like, yeah, why don't I do that?

Why have you not done that?

That sounds like a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

Right?

So I started.

Especially when it's for aerial recovery.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And the. When you talk about triple prizes, this is a great example. I'll go with jump ropes. So January of this year. So we're in 2023. To kick off the year, I did a jump rope challenge, which was essentially for every dollar donated, I did two jump ropes, and there was $7,100 donated to Aero Recovery. So that was 14,200. Jump ropes might not sound like a lot to some people. It's. It was a lot.

That's a lot.

It was a lot. It was more than I thought it was going to be.

Geez.

It was a really, really fun. And. And I had to train for that. So December was a training month just to do that one event. And when I did that event. So what. What are the triple prizes? Well, you know, raising $7,000 for one of the greatest nonprofits of all time.

Thank you.

Number one. Number two, I got kind of shredded that month, so my legs were looking good.

The calves are massive.

My calves. Yeah, they're starting to shred up a little bit. So calves are starting to rip. Kind of like my boy Matt DeLong's calves. That guy's got some serious calves. So those are double prizes. But then you have. The system gets created to replicate that over and over. And over. So when I say the system gets replicated, what I mean, what I mean by that, for those who are listening or for those who are watching, once you do something, the initial act of it's never going to be perfect. It's never going to be amazing. The first time you buy an apartment building, the first time, do something of relatively large magnitude, it's not going to be great.

No.

It's never going to be as bad as you think it will be generally. But it's also not going to be as good as you want it to be.

Right.

But then you can develop a system. You get to tweak, you get to adjust. And now we have multiple team members who are doing this as well for aero recovery. So we have a gentleman named Yates Craig. And Yates is doing a Murph of the day to raise money to mrf. Is it extremely challenging? This is going to make all of my workouts stupid. But he's wearing a 20lb weighted vest. He runs a mile. It's 100 pull ups, 200 push ups, 300 squats, and you run a mile again wearing a 20p 20 pound weighted vest. And he's done it 88 days in a row so far.

Wow.

So he's going for 120. He's doing that to raise money for L Recovery. And so now I have multiple people on my team who are taking the system, which is really a landing page that goes to the, you know, to the foundation and the foundation supports and the information and the pictures and the videos, the testimonials. Once you do it now, it becomes a template and you can find out what worked, what didn't work. You can start making some adjustments, make some alterations, do it messy, do it bad before any delays. Right. That's what bad can stand for. And I think it was a really, really beautiful endeavor. So now anytime I want to do anything weird or crazy, which next year, shout outs to those who are listening. One of my goals is to push a car for a marathon.

What?

Yeah. So what? Yeah.

Where did you even come up with that?

That one was a brain gift. That was just. I woke up one night and I was like, oh, I need to push a car for a marathon.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm slightly training for that. Yep, this guy's great. I'll be doing an iron man with your boy. The iron man of Iron Man.

The Iron Man.

That's all that's going to. That's going to happen in a few months, cowboy. Oh, gosh. It's going to Be so fun training for that. And that's going to be a really big fundraising event for me next year.

Right.

It's going to be a certain amount of dollars that people are going pledge for every mile.

Wow.

You know, and maybe I'll go more than 26 miles. We'll see.

Oh, my gosh.

The ultimate goal is to just do hard things because that heals me, it purifies me. It gives me the ability to go inward and to choose hard. Because I like to think of life being extremely easy.

Yeah.

Everything is so easy and so simple and fun and fluid and available to me that I want to pick my heart. I want to choose the doing the difficult in my life. And I make that as a priority, not from external forces, but an internal choice. And therefore, while I do that, I get to train, I get to meet a great group of people. And we're going to talk about this in future episodes about how my circle has changed because of that. For example, I text James the Iron Cowboy Lawrence now.

Right.

On a regular basis.

A bro basis.

It's crazy.

He's a bro basis for you.

Yeah. But that was a long shot, right? That was a hero of mine.

He's incredible.

Never talked to about until a year ago. And now, boom. Now we can just text.

You got him coming to the island.

Yeah.

I'm excited.

It's wild. Oh, by the way. Yeah, absolutely. Make sure you guys go check out Jameson Cowboy.

He's got an event here.

He's coming.

So cool.

Can't wait for that. So. But that's almost like a quadruple prize, right? All of those endurance events. I wouldn't even be able to sit in the same dinner table as him if I haven't achieved something amazing.

Right.

Because I want to feel accomplished. I want to feel like I'm there at the table, like I deserve to be there for me.

Right.

Just so that I can stand on my own two feet and go, hey, I did this as well.

Well, I got to dive into this. I choose to do hard things. You know, life for me is extremely easy. So I choose to do hard things. Let's just talk about that more. Let's just talk about that more. And I wrote down, I think, Brittany, you avoid doing hard things and painful things. And I was like, why do I do that? And I was like, besides the fact it's human nature, I was like, am I traumatized because of how hard some of my path has been? And do I just believe inherently it should be easier than it has been? Cause a Lot of, like, for those who deeply know my story, a lot of it sucked, and it was hard. And it was so hard for so long. And it was like, just no rest. And I'm like, okay, am I just now avoiding them at a. Like, why? Why am I doing that? And I'm like, probably because it's. I don't know, maybe just Newsom's crazy. Like, where. So tell me. Just tough talk about this.

Yeah, let's do it.

You gave a description, but I need to know more. Like, why. You know, my husband always talks about, do hard things, go places, be living any kind of adventure. People just freaking live in their rooms and tap on the computer all day. They've never been anywhere. They've never done anything. So I understand and appreciate the adventure side and how travel alone changes your life. But a car pushing a car for a whole marathon, I mean, that's crazy.

The only reason I said that in this podcast is so I make sure that I do it.

Oh, we're holding him accountable now. Aerial recovery fundraiser. Keep going.

Yeah, it sounds terrifying, for sure.

So why.

This specific genre of heart?

I got emotional when your husband called me out the other day, too, when he was like, hey, Nissan, thanks for doing all these hard things. Yeah, right? Because Batman is the definition of hard.

Right?

Green Beret goes out saving lives.

He's so hot.

Yeah, he is. Shout out to you, Lock. I think, for me, the reason I make that choice and the reason that so many men should make that choice is because men heal men best once they've been entirely broken and they can be pieced back together with love.

Why?

I think it's just human nature.

Why would. Why is this why you guys had, like, the. You're now a man. We're gonna have to burn all over you. And then now you're a man kind of.

Right? So when you're talking about a lot of the military selection process, they put these guys through hell and back, right? I mean, the Greenberry selection.

Love it.

Afterwards.

Yes. Later, they're so, like, celebrated.

It's a proving ground, Right. It's a battleground, and. But that's when men get constructed. That's how we are. That's how we're wired. And it is a little bit different from a man to female perspective. In the same instance, it is a way that you can start to know your true power and know your demons and know what they look like and know how to remove them and know how to suppress them and know how to be more enlightened. Because for Me, that word enlightened means, Right. That you are covered fully with light healing, light, protection, light. Men's job as a man is to be the protector of the family and to protect the light of the family.

Right.

The family values, the family core, the family mission, the family purpose. And if you're not enlightened, it's a lot harder to do, because then you're just in darkness. It's very, very hard, in my opinion, to be the protector of life for your family if you're always in darkness. So one of my quotes that I love that my wife got from someone I think is, you can only ascend as high into heaven as you're willing to go into your personal hell. Mm.

One of the quotes God gave me last year was, in order to overcome the darkness, you must become the light. And that's really, like, what you just meant by, like, enlightened ego.

Yes. That's so good. That is so good. But that is how men will find it. Right. The ego does not exist after 40 miles on your legs. And so when you start doing those things, you start removing that shroud of who you believe you are. You start finding out who you actually are.

Yeah.

And all of these men who go through the Navy SEALs and, like, you know, these are my buddies that I work out with on a daily basis. The guys that can kill you with a grape when you start spending time. When you spend time with them, they've realized that they have had to move past their egos.

Yeah.

To an extent. To really, really be able to conquer and to become mission focused. And since I've never had that experience. Right. I've never had to go through hell week.

Right.

I've never had the Green Beret selection process. I want to choose.

Yeah.

If I want to spend time with great men like your husband who are going to change the world for the better. I want to be that caliber of man. I want to be an uncommon man among uncommon men.

I like it. So I could summarize this as, do hard things to find out who you actually are.

Best summon I've ever heard.

I mean, hey, I like it. You know, I'm assuming it's a little different from men to women. But when I look back on my journey, it was always in my darkest days. It was always in, like, the day I was robbed of a million dollars, and I had no idea how I was going to dig my way out of that hole and rebuild after that. I got to see who I really was because I was a person that didn't run and hide and avoid. I stepped up and made sure my investors got paid back. I finished those projects. I put my boots on, I made sure those subs were pa. And that was the day that I remember looking back and saying, dang, I'm proud of you, Brittany, because I'd always hoped that you would respond this way, but you never know until you really test it. Now I still don't. Literally, right now I'm like, please don't test me again. But like, truly, who are you when hard things happen? Because you find out what kind of juice is in this fruit when it's squeezed.

That's right.

You can be a fruit that says you're an apple all day long, but if you're really an orange, when it comes time to squeeze, you were just a paint or painted as an apple, not truly an apple. I know we talked about that before, but that makes more sense. It's still interesting that you choose to do it, but it makes more sense to me now.

Well, because I've heard this so many times from other people, I think this is a very valid, limiting belief that life is hard. It's a good belief. It's a good description. I think it's a valid one. But for me, I want life to be easy. But here's the truth. I know that hard things are going to happen, and you only get stronger when the weight increases. So the whole Jim Rome, his quote goes, don't ask for things to be easier. Ask to get stronger. So now, when we really sink back into, how can we progress through, how can we make these changes? A lot of people I do believe would resonate with, life is hard. Life is short. I've always sat down when people tell me any popular belief.

Mm.

I challenge it immediately because why? Why does it have to be that way?

Was that sheepism? That's what we call it. It's that sheepism where they just, like, would rather follow than choose to come up with an original thought, would rather be told what to do than decide what to do. Just in case they're wrong. They always have somebody to blame their life on because they're living in that victimness, the sheephood of victimness. They go together.

They're choosing to be a victim.

Yes.

Yep. Choosing to be a victim, not a victor.

Right.

Small letters, big change. Big difference.

Big difference.

So I. I'm excited about that journey. It's another. Another opportunity to be on the journey of a force for good wealth.

Well, it's a beautiful example of I'm already doing Something, it's already helping me.

Yep.

But how can I help the world?

Precisely.

And then not only here's the triple prize because that's double prize. Helping me, helping the world, inspiring others precisely to do the same, which is also giving them joy and fulfillment. And now when you know you don't have to do things for other people. I've been learning this myself too. I don't have to have a quote unquote excuse to do good things or own nice stuff. You really can own nice things. And it's okay. You don't have to say, well, I do it just because I you can have nice things. That's the abundance in it. But God, when you have your reason, you're doing something tied to something bigger than you. You are so much more capable of accomplishing it and accomplishing it quickly because you're now like suspended into divine plan, just doop. I'm now part of it. This is bigger than me. And again, your success, outcome and likelihood is so much greater. I call it like Moms who Flip Cars. Moms who Flip Cars. It is scientifically impossible for a woman to pick up a car.

Absolutely.

Their baby's underneath there if she's freaking picking up the car.

Yes, she is.

And she's going against all data and human physics to it's been done before and it's happened numerous times. So that's the example of your why is bigger than human logic, science, data and physics. And you can do it if it's important enough to you. So attaching your purpose and your goals to this why guys is going to make you unstoppable.

Agreed. It's better to be pulled by your purpose than pushed by your problems.

Prizes are good, Double prizes are even better. And triple prizes reign supreme. Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to continue with even more fun takeaways as we progress through the best yet season four of Pro Tour.

If you didn't know, Jeremy Newsom and I are in a mastermind together with a series of other force for good entrepreneurs.

That's it.

If you are like me or you have been searching your entire career for other people who care about their impact on people, their impact on the planet and not just making a profit, but understanding that profit is the expansion tool of everything you get to do so you can make an even more powerful impact in your one chance on earth, then this is the right mastermind for you. Go to Broketowope.com to find out more.