S4 E11 - Add Value & Don’t Waste Your Pain

If you are about to ask someone to lunch, a mentor, a boss, employee, an employer to pick their brain, there's a much better way to approach that. And we're going to cover it for free in this episode. Tune in.

So how do we add enough value so that you pick us or they pick you? I'm gonna give you a pro tip of all pro tips I promised in the last episode. Now, this is one that's interesting to me because I get hit with this a lot, and I'm sure you do as well. And so this is like a gift for a lot of listeners. I get asked probably on a daily basis, how can I add value to you? But in that challenge.

That's a good question. It's a great question. Even that is a good question.

Thank you, everyone who asking. But the problem is, now you're giving me homework. Now I have to think of how you can add me value.

And we don't even know what you're good at.

Precisely.

Right?

The best thing for someone to do. For those who are listening, if you want to add value to someone, find out on your own time, with your own energy, with your skill sets, what you can do for that person and then bring it to them.

Yeah.

If you are a ghost writer, bring the book. Finished, 85%. If you are an amazing video editor, or if you have another incredible talent with Excel spreadsheets.

Marketing.

Marketing. Bring something. Already finished, already finalized. Give it to me on a platter. Because if you want to create income for yourself, solve wealthy people's problems.

Ooh, man. That's a great surefire way to be kept around, too. I love that. No, that's. That's huge. It sounds like. How can I help you? Well, I don't know what you're good at. I don't know you have to offer. I don't know how much time you have. You've already told me you're busy and you don't have anything, so I'm going to feel guilty asking for anything anyway.

Yeah.

But, yeah, I use the example all the time. Sitting in the car with Paulie, listening to his problems, writing those down. And he didn't ask me for help, like I just said. I sat there and said, he sounds like he hates his contractors. He definitely hates his realtors because they don't answer the phone or do any work. What can I do? And so I went and got my realtor license. He never asked me to. And I did the work. I offered a discounted commission and just did everything and asked him also. What are your current realtors doing that you don't like? And what could they be doing that they are not even trying? And then I just did all those things and I didn't do the other things. Taking people's order is huge. So again, offering value and then if they're like, oh, thanks, that's great that you put this thing together, but I can't use it or whatever, just ask them for more feedback too. Asking for feedback is huge without putting a burden on them. That's a great tip. Again, most of the time I just had people ask me, especially when I lived in Nashville, ask me all the time, can I take you to coffee? Can I take you to coffee? Can I take you to coffee? It sounds like you're creating value in my life, but I don't drink coffee. People.

So find that out.

Yeah. So it's like, can I take some of your time for me to learn? And I am asking somebody to coffee that doesn't like coffee. So what can I do? Can I meet you on a job site? Can I do a project for you? Can I. Where do you work out? Like, what can I do to make your life easier? That's really a great question too.

I'm gonna side settle on that because there's two pieces that I would love to bring up. A lot of people, they'll ask me to lunch, and as much as I love to eat lunch, I don't need you to pay for me for lunch. Meaning that time value exchange.

Right. It's not like financially a good deal for you.

Correct. So. So, because I'm going to be there and you're going to ask me a bunch of questions and I'm going to give you the keys of the kingdom and you're going to pay $25 for lunch. Whereas it's much more advantageous to go, hey, let's go on a bike ride together, because I got to train for the Ironman, or let's go on a nice little run or a nice hike. So what I've been doing now is a lot of people will do the normal, hey, let's go to lunch, let's go to breakfast, let's get coffee. And I'll flip it around saying, I would love to work with you, I'd love to meet you. Let's go on a hike, let's go run, let's go on a bike ride.

Right?

Because now I can start to fit those into your lives. So again, for those who are listening, if you're in that position where you want to connect with somebody or you need to connect with someone or you want to begin to elevate, find out what that person is. Right. They should look up and find out does. Does Brittany drink coffee before they invite you to coffee?

Right.

Spend some time, do a little bit of due diligence, spend an hour, go through their Instagram, find out what that person is, what they do, what their habits are, and then figure out a way to blend that into their world. And then, boom, you'll be there. And that's one of the sure fire ways of how I've sneak attacked my way into so many people's lives and then did my absolute best to truly add value to them. That's what I'm asking for.

And you were saying in the last one, you wanted to spend more time around me, therefore you asked me to do this podcast with you. And you came up with a very good name. You offered times, you sold me on why to do it at all. And you said, more people need to know. Gave me a lot of good compliments.

I gave her a lot of compliments.

Yeah. It worked. It worked. More people need to know how you're doing business. More people need to see a woman doing great things. And for who you are and what you're doing, you need a bigger outlet to make an impact. And I think that we could do that with a podcast. And I would love to bring your voice to even more places. And so he gave me compelling reasons to do that podcast, which again, he tied it to my purpose and wanting to help young girls also know what else is possible. And so he had done his homework. He'd listened to what I had already put out there, enough to tell me why this was of value and worth my time. And then we've gotten to be really good friends because of it, obviously.

Yeah. Now we're on season four. Brad.

Hey. Season four. My goodness.

And you're pregnant.

I know. Very, very aware.

There's just been so many cool changes. There's been so fantastic. And I know that this is not exactly a part of this topic, but I want to just bring it up to. I don't know, I just want to bring it up. You're building another piece on the island that's focusing on healing individuals.

Yeah.

And we've talked a lot about healing already in season four. Talk to me about specifically, I think it's called. Or it's going to be called Heal.

It is called Heal. Yeah. It's an amazing place for people to come be able to heal, elevate and transform their lives, starting with their mind, body and their spirit truly coming into alignment to do that. And the concept came to me when I lost my best friend from cancer who's only like 40 and had a one year old baby at home and a new wife. And I watched him suffer. I watched what he was afraid of, I watched what the doctor said. And I realized the power of environment, how much that's important to your healing is you really need a full spectrum healing environment. And that's everything from having great outlets to be able to get your mind right, being able to connect to nature, being inspired and living in awe of the beauty around you, having only happy things in your space and also having the right nutrition put in input to be able to heal your body from the inside out, knowing what that science is to be able to heal you.

And.

And it's really this amazing 10 acre project here on the island that I can't wait to bring to life. And it's been so heavy on my heart and I've never struggled in my health ever. Like thankfully that's not been a weakness for me. I'm not gonna say I had like the perfect body my whole life. That wasn't the point. Like I learned how to be healthier, how to be more fit along my journey. It became more of a priority for me in the last seven years. But I never was like sick. And I watched my best friend go through this and it's actually traumatizing to even watch somebody you love experience cancer and then die from it. So very motivated to create this amazing healing center. And then being pregnant, everybody's pregnancy is different.

I really did believe that I'd have a very healthy pregnancy and I wouldn't be sick. But as of today, we know that I have that hg. It's some long thing. I can't pronounce it now. I'd have to read it. But it's when you can't keep food and water down and you're just so sick you throw up all the time. And so it's been a challenge, to say the least to be this sick for now. Freaking 12 weeks of being pregnant. I've never been like throwing up 30 to 60 times a day.

For that many days in a row. It's pretty defeating.

Sure, nausea is your least favorite of all of your sicknesses.

I think it's everyone's if you're actually going through it. Like it's so body consuming. Yeah, it's awful. And it's not something I wish on my worst enemy. But it's something that's taught me a lot. It's not in people's minds all the time. There's sometimes there's things that are hormonal and your body's just reacting to a child being in you. And there's just been so many really stupid pieces of advice people have tried to say in love, and they try to say it to encourage you, but they didn't. They weren't sick, you know, they didn't go through it and. Or they're a guy. They have not gone through anything like that. And so I've learned so much about becoming even just more gracious to people who are suffering. How can you encourage them without assuming you truly understand what they're going through? What are the pieces of elements of kindness you can drop into their life when they're going through, as your wife would call it, the dark night of the soul. When you are facing, you feel like you're looking death in the eyes. And I at least have something to look forward to. So the sickness is completely separated from the desire and excitement for a baby. Those are different things. But I've learned a ton and I don't believe anything is wasted. I didn't believe I had to suffer to appreciate this baby. I didn't believe I had to go through hard times to then have empathy for others. But because I'm going through it, I'm going to learn a lot. I'm not going to waste this on just me. I'm sure I'll end up believing I'll create some kind of invention to fix this because it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel natural to. You're creating life and you're this sick and you can only eat crackers. Like, yeah, doesn't seem right.

Well, I like what you just said, Rick. It is the, hey, I'm here. Things are challenging. And for everyone who's listening, we're all going to have those times in our life where things are challenging. Use that fuel, as you mentioned to, and I would not be surprised at all. You create some type of drink, some type of program, some type of element, something will come from this, whatever three years from now. Doesn't have to be now, right? But later you would go, all right, I went through that. I'm going to save all kinds of women, other pain, agony and turmoil with this secret thing, secret formula that will help and then that will be bought by every single woman on earth that goes through pregnancy.

I hope so. I hope that we can come up with it, because this doesn't seem right.

Sure.

At all. But that's the thing, really, what we're trying to talk about is don't waste your pain, you know, don't waste your pain on losing your best friend. Come up with a way that they can find peace before they go. Because we're all going to go eventually. But find peace and heal if that's an option. If not, find peace before you go and have a really beautiful life at the end, if it is your time to go.

So I'm not going to waste that and I'm not going to waste this. I don't have the answer yet. But this suffering is awful and so consuming. And health is like if we had just the ability to eat normal, just the ability to eat a vegetable, just like, what a blessing that is and how every day I'll never be ungrateful for the ability to work out the ability to eat normal at all, let alone vegetables and, like, proteins.

You're gonna love those vegetables.

Now I can't even talk about it. Don't talk about it. But the gift it is to be able to be where you are. And I think about the days I was sad, yet I could do whatever I wanted. I was healthy and I was like, can you believe you were ever sad? But that's how people feel all over the world, you know, we have so much to be grateful for. I still have so much to be grateful for. And to be clear, for the haters, I am grateful for. The baby, this sickness, I am not grateful for. And it has been very hard. But I will still find the seed of equal or greater freaking opportunity. And I will make, make it work.

There we go.

Thank you, Napoleon Hill. It's in there. It's absolutely in there.

That's what we're talking about. Healing is a full spectrum approach.

Yeah.

And that center, that healing center is going to provide true change and liberation and freedom and happiness and calmness and peace to so many people that engage in it and partake in it. It's going to be a beautiful project.

I'm really excited about it. Yeah, we've already been. You know, this whole island is already known for healing, and it's everything from mind, body to spirit. But how can we take it to the next level? And doing things for more extreme groups allows you to become even better at what you've been providing. So even in the study of this and this obsession I'm on right now of like, really understanding healing and the mind, body, connection, that spirit connection, all those things has just made this island even more impactful on every friend until we build that thing.

Love it.

It's gonna be awesome.

So cool. Thanks for sharing that with us.

Than.

Season four was recorded right here at the Aerial BVI Buck Island. The goal is to get you here. We want you to see the studio, but more importantly, we want you to experience the magic, the miracles and the healings that will only take place in person at one of our Elevate Summit events. They are life changing, they are incredible and we need you here. We would love for you to attend the Love, the Abundance, Dream, Presence and strength. Go to broketoak.com check out the next Elevate Summit where you can hang out with Brittany and myself, change your world and elevate together.