S5 E06 | Find Out Before You Freak Out

In this episode, we have one sponsor really helping drive home the message of the four ways to overcome betrayal. Have you ever been betrayed? You ever have that feeling that just attacks your heart and your soul? In this episode, we're talking about overcome that. How to deal with it, how to become better.

This episode is sponsored by Pain 1-877-PAIN.

If you want your life to be totally wrecked, in shambles and have a hard time sleeping, I've got you.

Oh, man. So we have recently had a lot of people asking us a very important question.

Yeah, it is a good question.

How do you deal with betrayal? How do you deal with employees stabbing you in the back or.

Well, you've been stabbed in the back.

Partners.

Best friends. But typically it's in business. How do you deal with people who are pretty mean?

Yeah, the mean faces, the mean comments.

Ah, the snotty nose grubbers, the unprofessional quitters.

Yeah. How do you deal with those people? Well.

I don't know.

I don't know. Do you know?

I have a couple things, and I wrote them down just because they're so painful that. That I had to write them down. And it came to me and I put it on Instagram, just like this is a new download sponsored by Pain.

All right, so my number one takeaway from my most recent experience of betrayal is that your calling is between you and God. Whether or not you are popular today or hated tomorrow, remember who you are and why you do what you do. One of my dear friends is going through.

Some extreme pain, was very popular. Everybody wanted to be by this person's side. And I know this person, and look at me, because I'm friends with them.

Is experiencing some, in my opinion, extremely false accusations and defamation of character. And as soon as an accusation is even made, the world, I don't know. I don't know him. I don't know. Get away, get away, get away. And I just think that's some bull crap. We do not exist, and we should not exist in a culture or community that is guilty until proven innocent.

Amen.

It's freaking ridiculous. And people are going to have to get a lot tougher in your businesses, in your community, in your circle, if you are willing and daring to do something that's never been done before, know that the haters are out there, the accusers are out there, the liars are out there. And when people make accusations because they don't like you for whatever reason, you're going to have to have an iron stomach to know how to deal with this. That being said, you're going to probably have diarrhea from the anxiety caused by it and the pain caused by it. It does hurt so bad when people don't like you, especially people you care about, like an employee that you fought for or done so much for. And then they just forget what it's like to make sure that their salaries were always paid and forget that the market went like this and you still made sure they were okay. It really hurts when you do everything you can to protect people and they still talk smack about you for whatever reason.

Yeah. Sleepless nights.

It's hard. But I. I got a couple things that I wrote down to keep me.

That was a good one. Your number one, your calling is between you and God.

You gotta remember whether you're popular today or hated tomorrow. Remember who you are and why you do what you do. Number two, if you wanna hear it, yep, I'm ready. Is just kind of a public notice that the people you think are strong enough to beat up probably aren't.

Explain that one.

Don't be a dick. Don't be a dick. Just don't be mean to anybody. Everybody's going through something now. If somebody's, like, you know, physically attacking and stuff, like, obviously there's different boundaries, but if you just have some opinion about somebody and you have not verified facts, you are not allowed to dislike them. And that's something God told me really early on because there's so much news out there about different government leaders and just throughout my whole life. And people would say they hate so and so, or they hate this president, this. And God told me early on, you are not allowed to hate anyone you don't personally know. You shouldn't even dislike somebody you don't personally know because the headlines are never 100% accurate, no matter what, ever. All right, next one is find out before you freak out, okay? Find out before you freak out. If you hear a rumor about somebody in your life, don't just jump in both feet on the bandwagon because there's something exciting to talk about.

People love doing that.

You have no idea what's really going on in the world. You should go to the source and probably ask them.

Maybe call them on the phone. Maybe answer your door if someone knocks on your door.

If you're one of those people who love diving in to potential drama, both feet first, go find something better to do. There's a lot of kids starving out there in the world, dying of diarrhea, dying of waterborne illnesses, dying of trafficking there's some really important causes that could use your attention. So why don't you start focusing it in the right direction? Last one is huge. God has given you a mission greater than the haters.

Amen.

God has given you a mission greater than the haters. And so, again, you might be cool today and hated tomorrow.

People will always come and go. It's wonderful when they're on your side. But you're gonna have to be a solid force, knowing who you are and whose you are. If you're gonna try to do anything great.

If you're going to try to do anything truly magnificent, truly powerful and something that you feel that you were put on this earth to do is going to ruffle some feathers. Let's do it. Let's do a few examples. You ever heard of a guy named Jackie Robinson?

No.

First African American baseball player in the major leagues. Oh, my gosh. And no one liked him.

What?

Yeah, no one liked him because he was faster, stronger, better at the game, practiced more, was smarter, knew the offense better, knew the defense better.

Probably good looking.

He. He was. I'm sure, at least in the movie, he was. But a lot of people did not like this man. And was it because of his color? Sure. Was it because of his skill? Sure was. Because he was different? Sure. But he had a humongous mission. And his mission was to be the greatest. And if you have a mission to be the greatest in whatever sport or field or.

Sector or avenue you're trying to go down, at some point people are going to hate on you. And. And I really like how your number three was. Find out before you freak out. This was an example that happened to me recently. Russell Brunson. You ever heard of Russell Brunson, owner of ClickFunnels? He had a big blow up, huge scan of like 87 seconds online, where there was Internets and youtubes and posts and all the things. Russell Brunson beat up a high school kid, got drunk and punched a kid and like beat up the guy. I was like, what?

My guy? Russell. I was like, I met Russell a couple times. I'm like, this is. This is it. Really? He beat up a high schooler. So I'm like, oh, there's a video. I'm gonna click on the video. And I watched the video and again, clickbait titles. People always trying to self sell fear.

Yeah, right.

Fear porn. Where they're like, oh, because fear sells and they just want clicks. They want click.

Fear does sell.

Fear cells. Fear cells. And here's Russell Brunson watching his teenage son in a wrestling tournament, right? There's a wrestling tournament. His son, in this exam, in this example, like, this particular match is getting mauled. Like, he's losing badly, and this other kid's on top, and he's got him into, like, a really big, tight choke. And the kid's losing, and he tapped out. And the ref didn't stop it. So the ref, in my opinion, watching the video should have stopped it a lot sooner. And Russell was, like, throwing in the white towel, which is like, hey, get. Get this fight over with. And it didn't stop. Now, this was within seconds. We're talking.

This is his son.

His son. Yeah, yeah. He's getting beat up. So we have 10 seconds max, right? And Russell died.

It's a long time when you're choking.

It's a long time. Russell dives in and pushes the kid off of his son, and everyone loses their mind. Russell Bronson beating up a kid. Right. But that's an example of everyone. Everyone started canceling him and shaming him because they started posting. Yeah. Just. They started posing like, Rossa Bronson beat up a kid. And no one even watched the video. And the people that were there or. Sorry, the people that were posting weren't there at the wrestling competition. And I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Is no one here a parent? None of you in the comments are a parent. If a kid was beating up my kid, I would find a way, probably physically, to stop that altercation from happening. Now, yes, it was in a wrestling tournament, but he did all the right things he needed to do to stop the match, and it didn't happen. But the reason I'm saying this is my wife saw a video on Instagram the other day, and this is going to sound terrible, but whatever. It's a tangent. Here we go.

We love tangents.

Thank you. The video was this.

I don't know what news station, but this news station was interviewing parents and saying, would you kill for your child? That was a question. Simple as that. Would you kill for your child? And a lot of the parents are like, kill who? Why? What's the circumstances? Probably not. Can I resolve the situation? And when my wife asked me, would you kill for your child? I'm like, instantly.

I mean, I thought that was the answer. I didn't even think trust.

I was like, yeah, yeah. Like, I, well, what if it's an accidental murder? Well, you should have been stronger or faster, I guess. Like, I don't Like, I don't know what to say. Like, if I feel like that's the only outcome that can happen to save my child.

Yeah. I didn't know there were other options.

Is no one else a parent? Right, Exactly.

That did.

And so she asked me that answer and I said I was like, of course. Like, I would with my mouth. Obviously, that's how I reply.

Obviously. You're not wanting to go kill on behalf of your child. Not even almost for the haters out there.

Right.

It's. You have. If you had, would you do it?

If it came down to it, of course.

And I.

Yes. But so many people in the comments were like, what are you doing attacking this guy who was just protecting his kid.

Yeah.

Saying all that to say number three. Right. Find out before you freak out. Did you call Russell before you know, you're just on the sidelines. You're a third party. You're the peanut gallery just saying things. This is going to happen a lot. And the people who have betrayed me and recently.

Never called me, Never called, never talk to me.

Super frustrating.

Friend of 10 years was like, you're Judas. You're greedy. You're a horrible person. I guess we're just never going to talk again. I'll pray for you, though. No, I was like, oh, thank you. Pray. Pray a lot. Because I need so many prayer. I need so many prayers from you. Right. But they never, never talk to me about whatever particular situation another person told him about. Never got my side of the story.

Oh, no.

Three sides, every story, right? Well, three. There's. There's three sides every coin, two sides. Every story, three sides of a coin. There's heads and tails and then there's the ridge. Right? So you're always gonna have two sides of whatever. Whatever you're doing. And the other person isn't liking Brittany Turner. And then there's probably what. What happened in the middle. Right? Because your version is not perfect and neither is theirs. Right. That's the truth. And some people need to just choose loyalty one day.

One day. Can you imagine?

Can you imagine just picking loyalty and go, I'm just going to fight for you no matter what. Because same thing with my wife. If.

I love my wife so much, she's so good. She's so cool. She has told me three or four times, like, when I came back from the altercation, she's like, I'm so happy you're here. I was ready to go to jail for you.

Oh, she's such a flower.

She's such a little Flower.

But dude, man, don't fight in flower.

Don't piss off a Russian woman. She'll go to jail over me for very quickly.

A.

And I just want. I love. Yes. How romantic. It is.

Romantic. It is, dude. It actually is. It's hot.

I want loyalty.

Yeah, please.

And. And when people are betraying us or anyone else, the listeners. If you've had people who've betrayed you in your life, it's probably over. One of two things. You ready, Brit?

Go.

Money. Miscommunications about money or miscommunications.

Actually, I can see that.

Yeah.

Overall, that's.

That's nice. I'm saying 98 the only.

Yeah, there's some others. There's some others. There's some others.

Those would be the 98. Like money or really just. Let's call it miscommunication. Right. We're not communicating. You didn't really share something with me because you thought my feelings are going to get hurt or you didn't want to have the conversation or vice versa. You and I have had some tough conversations a few times, and I always.

Like how you talk it out.

Yeah, we talk it out. But you call me, go, hey, I got some bad news. Let's chat about something immediately. Right. To my.

Believe it or not, this unstoppable amazing podcast hosts have had a few altercations.

Disagreements. Disagree over business, over money, over.

Over whatever.

Same fortune, whatever. Sure. A lot of it.

Somebody said. Somebody said. And instead of being a loser, little whiny turd that has no guts or backbone, no backbone whatsoever, and just sits there and is.

We're clicking away for this. I'm going to be a keyboard warrior.

Yeah.

Instead.

Of being a complete spineless loser that just sits there and thinks things. I will not let a wedge get formed between me and somebody that's important to me without freaking finding out. So I call him without warning, which is a big deal because we're both busy.

Sure.

We never just call. Who calls?

But if I get a phone call from Brittany, I'm like, oh, this is probably pretty important.

Yeah. Because I don't abuse the system.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I call you up.

Hey, yeah, I just heard this. What's up?

I heard this. Talk to me. And I give him the opportunity as an adult to actually answer the question.

A grown adult.

Here's an accusation. Can you please give me your side? What's going on? Did you. And so you know what? A few times he actually said. I did say that, but I won't say it again if it Bothers you or I didn't do this. This is how they took it out of context or this is how it was meant. And then immediately my rush of emotions of this potential upset that's sitting here at bay because I'm waiting to find out, he goes, done. Relationship preserved.

Just have community, talk to people.

We are all God's children. We're all connected. So if you hate somebody else, you're really hating yourself.

Yeah.

And it's super important to find a way to stay connected, especially if you do believe in the divine in other people.

We are better together. And there's a scripture that says a divided house cannot stand. If you believe in Satan, if you believe in darkness, if you believe in evil, the very first attack is going to be on your house. It's a lot of times going to be on your most primary relationship with your significant other.

True love.

It can be with your children. If they can't get to your marriage, it's going to be on your children and you. If it can't be on your children and you, it's going to be your business partners, your employees, all these things. So it's super important, guys, to find really important, easy ways to communicate, to have a culture of find out, not freak out. And it happens. Even in my own guys, I've, I thought I built these things, but it still happens. And you got to have a zero tolerance policy.

For crap talking. We have a policy that again wish everybody kept, but in the history it's not always kept. Gripes go up and that's from Saving Private Ryan. Gripes go up. If you have an issue, you go to the person in charge. That can actually help resolve it. Not sitting there circling the pot of poison and getting all your emotions hurt. Just find out before you freak out. So it's hard to build anything great. You gotta get rid of the poison and you gotta get rid of all those poisoned. And it might look bad to the outside world because all these people are leaving, but it's better to have a clean house than anybody in there that can continue to ruin the future.

Yeah.

Again, extremely painful, especially if you're very busy. But it's worth.

Is painful. And I like, I don't like. But you've used the word a few times, right? It's. It hurts, man.

It hurts so bad.

Right? It hurts like I don't want to do this episode with you right now. I'd rather just like turn off and just like kind of cry it out and just be angry. But we have to find ways to deal with it, because this is going to happen if you're going to do anything successful. If you look at pick, pick anyone, it doesn't matter. A celebrity, a musician. Justin Bieber, right? How many people did Justin Bieber have to piss off to be where he's at? Yeah, right. Someone probably had a best friend in high school somewhere like, you stole my song, how dare you? And then just spreads lies about him all the time.

My tattoo is my idea.

Right? It could be anything, right? Or a musician, someone who won the Nobel Peace Prize.

I had frosted tips first.

Yeah, right, right. Eminem. It's okay. For sure. Well, you have the ability to just understand that you're dealing with humans. But most importantly, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take what you just said. You're dealing with divine. That other person is a reflection that was also created in that image. And if you hate them, you help you hate part of yourself. That's my takeaway for the whole, whole year. Thanks in advance. Because it allows me to be a little bit more calm, it allows me to be a little bit more peaceful and just sit back and realize that they're not attacking me, they're attacking someone else, they're attacking themselves.

That is the truth. I think that's also why it hurts so much. But it's best to.

In the heat of the moment when you're feeling betrayed or backstabbed, obviously the natural response is to. To fight back, to talk crap back, to be angry, to cuss, to go talk bad about them. And I'm not going to say I've been perfect at not reacting that way internally. But you've got to find a way to be your higher self. And it's really hard to be your higher self when they spread it in like other public channels or put it places that are just really unprofessional to like spread things and make up seeds, not tell everybody. And just. It's very hard when, when you're a truly good person and your character is being questioned and people make up straight up lies about you, it's real hard to not fight back. And you feel like you're not doing anything to defend it if you don't fight back. But in those moments.

Try to summon your highest self. Try to speak life and love over the situation and reach out to those people. Try to connect to them. In my most recent betrayal episode, every single person I've reached out to and said, hey, if you have an issue, please reach out to me. Hey, I want to talk to you. Will you answer me? I found people are really wimpy. They won't actually say things to your face. They won't even have an adult conversation.

Slugs.

It's just hard. I don't know what's going on.

Doug the slug.

Yeah. How should we end this?

I'm in it like this, so I'm back up. I'm ending like this. Brit just said, speak love. Speak love. Be love. Be the highest embodiment of love towards that person. Because if you can't kill them with kindness, torture them with success. That's what David Goggin says. That's one way to go about it. Or just out love them with your character, show them what love looks like because they're trying to get a rise out of you and they're trying to make you who you're not. And so you get to show them what love, the embodiment of love, looks like and feels like. And so I would love to talk more about what does that actually look like? What does the best version of love look like? To Brittany Turner.

And last thing I want to say about that is remember, your calling is between you and God. So keep doing your calling, whether or not who is on your team that day, that week, that month.

For all of our beautiful listeners that are asking how you can make a life saving difference by joining forces with us on these incredible initiatives that Aerial Recovery is doing, go to the website broketowoke.com and you'll find all the different ways that you can get involved with this amazing impact. Together, we are more powerful and we would love to join forces with you.

Sam.