S5 E12 | SHOULD will drown you

If you feel like you're drowning in all the things you should do, listen to this episode about presence and habit thoughts.

So give me a little bit of a break. Okay. It was late at night. The ideas were going through my head, and I wanted to give you at least one other option, let you know that I really thought through the name of this podcast.

Yes.

And so for those who don't know the story, I'm sure you all do, but me and Brittany were talking back and forth about working together in some form or fashion. We really didn't know exactly how yet. Right. Although we had already worked on some G Force together, and I knew I had you speak or wanted to have you speak at my Money Girls on Trees event. Didn't happen because of hashtag Covid. So this was like, Juneish. Like late May Juneish. Right. And I was like, let's do a podcast together. And like I said in previous episodes, I truly wanted the world to hear your voice and hear your perspective, because I had heard you speak at a few real estate investors in Nashville meetings and thought you were awesome. And everyone thinks you're awesome. You're great. Like, let's do a podcast, and it's going to help so many people, and we're going to tell your story, and we're going to give you a beautiful spotlight, and we're going to talk about how people grow and accelerate and thrive. And I think it should be called either the acorn or Broke to Hook.

And in that very moment, I had a Grinch moment of my own, which, if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, tell me what a Grinch moment is.

There's a scene in the Grinch with Jim Carrey where he goes, hate, hate, hate. Double hate.

Loathe entirely.

And that was how I responded to the name the acorn.

And I'm pretty picky on names. And it's not like I think I'm the best, but I'm really picky on names. And I didn't resonate with that one for some reason, even though it has a really good meeting.

Yeah.

Meaning it was just the acant.

The acorn.

I can't even say you actually didn't want to call it the acorn. You wanted to call it the acorn and the oak tree.

Oh, shoot. She's right.

The acorn and the oak tree loathe. And I'm like, this guy's new. How do I tell him how much I hate this name?

That's so good.

And not.

You are right.

I forgot about shut him down.

I forgot about the oak tree.

Can't have any more creative.

But now we at least know freedom. So the. The metaphor is there, right? You start from nothing, and you grow to a bigger thing.

Yeah, Right.

You provide shade to people, thus the tree. And, you know, people can climb on trees. You're right. I actually forgot about the oak tree part. That's funny. I'm glad you remember that.

Well, one. This is a weird thing, but I. I sometimes tell people to harness your inner negativity, and they're like, what does that mean? If you are someone that can find fault or issues in everything, it's not that you're actually a negative, horrible person, it's that you're gifted to see a higher standard, you know, what it can be. And so I asked myself, because I remember exactly where I was on the island reading this text from you, and I was like, oh.

And I was like, if I love what the podcast is about, but I hate you entirely that name.

Then what is it about it that I don't like? It's just a fun thing that, again, I use in, like, my rehab projects. You walk in and you're like, I hate those windows. I hate that color. I hate this. I hate this. Instead of just focusing on the hate, start asking yourself, why do I not like it? So I can turn it into something that we do like.

Yeah, precisely. And the. But the best part is, too, this is later at night. We're talking like, this is like 11:30, my time in Nashville. So it's like 1:00am island time. No, it's June, so it's probably 12:30. So anyway, it's not the earliest thing. And then we talk about broke to woke, and you're like, just wait until you get up in the morning. I'm like, I don't know what that means, because I was tired. So I'm out. I'm going to sleep. I wake up that morning, website's done, logo's done, branding's done, colors done, the pages, everything is. We have slides. I was like, what are we gonna use the slides for?

I don't even have slides. That's how I get things out of my head. Slides.

You did it so fast.

Thank you.

Yeah, it was amazing.

I have a good team.

It was immediate. It was really, really cool. And anyway, that's how that happened. So the acorn and the oak tree. This is a better name. You nailed it. We got it.

Well, let's talk about what the meaning of acorn and oak tree is. Though, because it's a really good meaning.

Yeah, yeah. So the meaning is, right, every single person who is here, our goal, our mission for you listening to this podcast is to help you grow. Grow into something that truly provides subsistence. Right? Because a tree, there's so many things you can do. A tree, you can eventually turn it into money. You can use it to build a house, you can use it to build wood, you can have shelter, swing. There's so much there, so much stability, right? The oak tree, that's a. A staple of strength and fortitude. But an acorn is so tiny. And so when you plant an acorn, does it become a tree in a day? No. Week? No. Year? No. 10 years? Kind of 25 years. Now we're talking. And so it's a process where get rich slowly, but it's a lot better if you plant the acorn. If you never play the acorn and just throw it away, it definitely will not become a tree.

I think even better than you're describing it right now is how you originally described it to me, which is everything that it took.

To become a great, amazing, huge oak tree was already inside the acorn. And what I love about that is still something we're looking to impart with this podcast is for you to recognize everything you will ever need in your life is already inside you. And the interesting thing about that is sometimes a book will pull that out of you. Getting an education can pull that greatness out of you, but it's already all there. So seeking something on the outside to make you better isn't necessarily the strategy. Releasing that greatness, giving yourself permission to walk in that greatness, taking the time to get planted in the right locations, and learning how to weather those storms that is already inside you. But you get to walk it out and you get to choose if you're throwing this acorn into a street to get run over or going somewhere that is conducive for your growth.

Boom.

I'm just quoting you.

Thank you.

No wonder you love it. Boom.

Wow. That is the greatest life. I've never heard anything better than that. So when you say inside of you, let me ask you this question, the inside portion. So this is thoughts, habits, your beliefs, your standards. In the most recent award winning, one of a kind, bespoke, custom made podcast that we just did, you said the word habit, thoughts. And I wrote that down because I. I say this every season. And I'm sorry, I can't remember a time having heard that phrase before. And I like it.

Habit, thoughts.

Habit Thoughts. What habit thoughts do you have for more presence and comma, what does presence mean for Brittany Turner?

Very good question. So presence for me.

So presence for me is being still and taking the time to hear. Taking the time to actually enjoy that moment. You know, we've all heard anxieties, worry about the future. Depression is sadness about the past. But if you're in the present, you will experience the gift, just like a present.

Is in your life. And a lot of times, if you can, if you're somebody who constantly goes one way or the other, one of the tricks is to look at your hands and to start just focusing on your hands and touching your fingertips and realizing everything that I was thinking about is somewhere else. I need to be right here, right now, right here, right now and start focusing on the appreciation. I have breath in my lungs. I have someone who loves me and name that person. I have a calling on my life. I have a country I was born into that allows me to blank, like whatever that thing is. Lithuanians. Just remember, you always have something to be grateful for, even if it doesn't feel like it. Just like we talked about, if you've got food in your stomach to throw up, good lord. So that presence and habit thoughts for that. There's. There's habit thoughts and there's habit actions. I listen to different youtubers speak on this all the time and they talk about just if you can't be present, literally listen to the air conditioner. Just listen to the sound of the air conditioner. Try not to be anywhere where your feet than where your feet are. And I have a tattoo on my foot that says be and it's on my foot. So it's be where your feet are. And so the gift of presence is that ability to not be somewhere else. And the habit thoughts to getting there is remembering. All I really have is this moment. Everything else is my survival brain trying to create a stable, a more stable path. And so what are your habit thoughts for achieving presence?

I liked your definition. Being still, taking the time to hear one of my presence habits is when I go running. I love trail running, especially in middle Tennessee now. I'm sure there's a lot of other places that are amazing. I love trail running in Hawaii, Utah, but Tennessee is easy because I live here. And when you're trail running, usually there's a decent fall somewhere to your right or to your left and there's a bunch of roots and there's a lot of rocks and you got to place your feet pretty precariously because if you step wrong, you're going to twist your ankle, fall, and die. And I just repeat one word or phrase over and over. Human being.

Yeah.

And that's why I like how you use that word. Being still and on your foot. Tattoo it. Be. A lot of people are very good at being human doings. They're always doing something. They always want to think in the future, plan for the future, think about the past. They always want to recalibrate of what's next. What's next, what's next? What's next? I challenge four or five people during the Abundance Summit on this because another one of my habit thoughts is especially for presence when I'm eating. Now, I'm not perfect at this, but when I'm eating, I try to imagine before I start eating where whatever I ate, where did it come from? How was it made? So let's take one of the most delicious meals of my life, that poke bowl. Remember that thing? Oh, my gosh. So it was like 47 different things in that pokeball.

So amazing, right?

Edamame, the salmon, the rice. And so I'm like, who cooked the rice? Where did it come from? Who delivered it? What type of bag was it in? Where was it grown? Same thing with a fish, right? Where was it swimming? What ocean? What sea? How far away was it? Who caught it? How did they catch it? When did they cook it? And just try to spend three to four minutes. Because what do most men do when they start to eat? Or most women? A lot of women. A lot of men, they eat as fast as humanly possible because they might have grown up in a household where like, all right, here's your food. Best of luck. It's gone, right? Whatever's here, eat as quick as you can.

Six kid comment.

Correct?

Six kid comment.

Yeah, you know how it is.

Oh, yeah.

I was like, we got food. Not for long, Homie, Hurry up.

It's gonna get swooped.

Swooped. And that's. That's a thing for me now where, like, I'm eating. When I eat again, if I am able to be in a present moment where I think it's important, I really take time. I just try to slow down. Eckhart Tole says that when he eats orange, he tries to eat it as slowly as possible because oranges have so much zesty. Like, a lot of people just pop in an orange, chew and swallow. He's like, he'll eat an orange, and he'll just let the juice drip down. Like, he won't wipe it. Like, he's It's a whole process for Eckart, and he just really enjoys this orange.

Hmm.

Shout out to my wife when she eats an apple. I want you to pay attention the next time she eats an apple. This woman goes to the core. Like, core, core. There's nothing left of this apple when it's done except, like, three seeds and, like, a tiny. She'll. She'll chew. Yeah, it's wild. It's really cool.

I'm having, like, pregnancy flashbacks. I don't want to see anybody eat ever again. I'm like, no, ever.

Never watch another human being eat. So, yeah, I do. I do have habit thoughts for being present. And they're. They're small.

Wait, why does she eat an apple so intensely? Just finish that thought.

I. Well, I know one reason. So one reason is she's summoning Eckhart. Like, no, no. Well, maybe. Maybe. Let's give her the benefit of a doubt. Sure. She's trying to be super present. But here's what it really is, if you ask her. So when she was born, she was born in the ussr, right?

Yeah.

And Soviet Russia. And she sold seeds. That's what she did. And her seeds were really good, apparently. Whatever. But she sold apple seeds and different seeds. And so what she would do is she would eat the fruit and then take it all the way down to the seed and then use that seed, and then. Yeah, so. But also, apples weren't super prevalent in the ussr, so if you had one, that one apple is going to last a long time.

Does she still keep those seeds?

Not presently.

Okay.

Yeah. Just curious, but she ease them down to this. It's. It's a fascinating studs stud. Full renovation, full gut job. When she eats an apple.

Oh, so you were. You were talking about habit thoughts.

Yep, that's one of them for me. It's the way I eat. I'll try to just really, really, really enjoy, like, a milkshake. Oh, my gosh. And I don't like milkshakes. I. I eat them very slow. I can eat them very fast, but I'll eat them very slow. And just try to enjoy it. Try to take the time. That's one of mine. So it's running long distances or. Or trail running and just food. Those are the two things. And then number three, when I take time to do it, I do my absolute best to go and to do something where I'm like, okay, this is how I'm going to be. Extremely, extremely present. Usually meditation, a darkness retreat, is on my calendar.

Oh, snap.

So I'M going to go pop into a cave for three days and just kind of chill and hang out in this cave, total darkness for three days. That's going to be amazing.

And we don't have to be blindfolded.

I've never been to an, never been to a silent retreat, though.

Oh man.

Do you know anything about those?

I have a silent retreat coming up. We had one about a year ago where it was all women and we had two days of silence. And not just silence, you take away your phone so you truly aren't trying to escape into something or just check messages or communicate other ways. We turn off all the music, all the external noises, and again, even that has its own, like escape in it. And we let people be outside in nature, hiking, mindful swimming, doing yoga, doing workouts.

They can't talk to each other.

They, they don't talk to each other. And now you are allowed to write because I believe those downloads are coming and some silent retreats won't let you do that. We don't let people read because again, we want you to be with your thoughts. If you can't be with yourself.

There'S your sign. If you can't be with yourself, then it's a sign you don't like yourself. Not for my extroverts. I know we all love people.

Oh my gosh.

But it is important to also love yourself. And so what are you trying to get out of your mind so much for? And if we can get you back into what I would call finding center, that's where you're going to meet God. That's where you're going to meet divine. That's where you're going to start discovering that essence and that guidance. And I have done some crazy things in my career. I have done some, made some wild moves, but I'm really not a risk taker as much as it wouldn't sound like that. In my journey, I don't take these crazy risks. I'm still female, we don't love risks. But I felt so strongly in my guidance that it wasn't a risk in my mind. And so what my presence habits are is journaling, sitting, being still, trying to hear. And it's best out in nature, just like you go trail running because nature reconnects you to God. It's best, in my opinion, in a beautiful warm environment.

It's critical that you're not looking from direction, from anything other than above because again, it has the ultimate divine plan. Everything else is a should. And should can drown you, should will, Drown. You should feels terrible. And you've got to get all the should out of your life. And you can do that by taking the time to get presence and investing in learning how to hear so that the rest of your life is more joyful and more abundant.

100% agree. And all the things that you mentioned are probably extreme challenges for people right now.

There's so many opportunities.

When you said, turn off your phone, I died a little bit inside.

Did you die inside?

Yeah, it was like two days.

It's an opportunity for people that go there to actually surrender their phone for five days. Of course we have an emergency line. If they got somebody just got to get a hold of them, they can call the staff and we'll find them. But they can surrender their electronics for five days if they want to.

It's, you should all do this.

It's mandatory for two days.

You should all do this.

It's fun. We wake people up with gongs and.

Like, you should all do this.

It's a whole thing. Yeah, it's a whole thing.

Wow. The best present is presents.

I have heard from so many people. It's the most impactful thing they've ever done in their life. And it's only two days, guys. You can do it. You can do it. So that's your challenge. Put it on your bucket list. At least two days. No electronics. Go somewhere absolutely beautiful. Eat healing food, get out in nature. And for the ladies, you can come to the present summit because that's going to be fun.

You heard it here first.

I'll see you there.

If you are looking to go on a mission trip this year, volunteer, add resources or fund an amazingly impactful organization, and you're looking to get involved in what we are doing, go to Broke Tocom and find ways to get involved in aerial recovery.