S6 E03 | Feeling is the Secret

What is the secret to having it all? We will talk about that and give you the exact answer in this one of a kind. Episode of broke to awoke.

That's a poem. That's a read right there.

It's a rocking read.

I mean, there's a lot of pieces that stood out to me. And I was thinking, as you're reading it, if I were to get another ginormous leg tattoo that I don't have right now.

Full leg.

Full leg.

It's kind of long.

It might be that. It might be that poem. It's a really, really, really good poem.

Teen Instagram swipes long.

Yeah. I mean, it made me think a lot because the word unconditional love, that. That was something that in my healing journey for the last year, year and a half and some change, that's been a word that's come up a bunch, was love. But specifically unconditional love. Like, what does it mean to have the conditions of love? And I realized growing up, I never really felt unconditional love. Like you probably think that you would from your parents. A lot of people may or may not, but my love for my parents had conditions for pretty much my whole life. And those conditions were good enough, smart enough, talented enough, doing the right things, going to the Kingdom hall, right? Which is my version of church at the time, doing the right actions. If I did the right actions, I would get love. And me and my wife were talking about this recently, and she told me the greatest way that I could experience unconditional love now, because even her, she tries her best. But can she love me unconditionally? No, not all the time. She tries, but same with me. Like, I don't love her unconditionally. How much? Like, unconditionally? Like, what does that word really mean? And it's like, without any conditions at any point in time, forever and always the way God would love someone else. That type of love where you don't have to do anything, you have to be, you don't have to do anything, you have to exist. There's nothing you need to do, there's no one. You have to be. You just have to breathe and you receive love, you have love. You are love. And that's really what I heard from that poem. And my wife, when she told me, she said, if you want to know what unconditional love is, look into your eyes of your son.

Right? And the way he views you, there's nothing you could do. Right. For you as well. Right? Look into the eyes of Bear. Look into the Eyes of our sons. That's unconditional love. The way they view us right now is nothing we need to do. We just exist and they love us. And that is a really, really cool energy to see it from the other side. Because what I heard from that was a new thing for me, is how does another person view me? Seeing me from your eyes. Right. What do I look like other than a grayed weirdo with a relatively large nose? Like, what. What do I look like from your eyes, from your perspective? And to see that shift and to now listen to this poem and see so many beauties that when people say good or bad, it's like, no, it's neither. It's actually all love. Right. I mean, hate is love that has been wounded. That was so like. That is like, ha, a four letter word. So is love. I just felt so much power from that. And that was a really beautiful read. And thank you for sharing.

Yeah, thanks for letting me. It's. I've been on the journey to. I think I would describe it as getting to truly know who and what God is to the best of my ability. Because I know that the way I was raised doesn't have every answer. It can't. And I don't think any human can ever have every answer.

Sure.

I think that God is so much more than we could ever comprehend. So who are we to put him in a box and say we have it all figured out? And that's why it's so relational and so important to take the time to listen. Just like the poem says is listen. I speak in so many different languages and I am so always trying to speak to you and guide you. I do not force, I only flow. And it is hard to know that God is in everything. And that's something that's been really hard for me.

To do. The work that we do in the nonprofit and see the kind of extreme suffering that I've witnessed over the last couple years. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

And to believe God is good and that God is love. But it's all about definitions. It's all about perspective. And when you know that God is in everything and some things get twisted and it takes away from the truth of who and what God really is, which is love.

I don't know. I think you maybe experience life a little less frustrated because I get really mad when I see some of these injustices and especially obviously to children, the most innocent things on the planet, and people intentionally hurting them. And that, I think, is the love in me A righteous love in me wanting to protect them. And so.

We can experience more or less pain in our life based on our perspective. And to hear that poem describe more of what love is and, and how it works, I think is healing for me.

So for me as well.

Yeah, it's.

I heard. I can't. I'm not gonna remember, but I heard another Chinese proverb or something like that some Chinese dude shared. Who are you to label an event now? Because again, with the fullness of time, you will relabel that event like we were talking about the first episode. Who are you to say this is good? Who are you to say this is bad?

Yes.

And so I've been trying to. I've been successfully experiencing less pain because I have a perspective to know and a truth inside me with enough experience now to say, God will probably work this out for good. And I'm going to keep speaking that over my life. And so like I said, you want to be a person in charge of your own story. And you can do that by the way you write it, by the way you remember it and the way you log it. And that's really what I'm learning, is the essence of how you heal.

So if I could summarize everything I'm learning from observing these heroes and like what works and how you can move on from these traumatic events is you've got it logged in your brain.

Right.

As painful and bad.

Right.

And then there's all kinds of different exercises like EMDR and different. Anything from therapeutic to whatever things that people can do to take it from this logged space and re log it as a different event or experience. Like we're saying you can re log it as good and. Or catapulted me into something good or I wouldn't be here today had that thing not happened. You look at it now with appreciation versus disdain, hate, sadness. That is the summary of healing in my experience, of what it really takes is that disposition, different perspective, and then you can be free and you can move on. So.

I think that poem really embodies all of those things.

Yep. And what's. What's fun is it also reminded me a few. A few different shifts that I've had to go through in my life. And I'll share those with you now. One of them was my sister, who you'll meet soon.

I can't wait.

And she may or may not hear this episode, but one of the beliefs that I had at the age of 11 was that my sister was bad and that her decisions were bad.

You know, she's gonna listen to this now.

I hope so. And she knows this, right? So she had premarital sex. So she had sex at 16. Oh, my gosh. Can you imagine marital sex? She wasn't married. Had pleasure and joy. And in the religion that I was in at the time, right? That is a big bad. No, no, that's a big sin. You can't have pleasure now. Right? That's. No, can't enjoy that. Sorry. And so she got disfellowshipped because she wasn't repentful, she wasn't sad. She's like, hey, I enjoyed it. Sorry.

Did she get pregnant or just.

No, she didn't get pregnant.

She just got busted.

Yeah. Just got caught. Got caught sneaking in the window by my mom, right? And was like, where were you, Brett? She was at Brett's house.

Brett.

Brett.

So, and she. When she gets disfellowshipped, right, she gets called out in front of this whole organization. Oh. And I'm there at 11, she's 16.

And everyone's like, scarlet lettered, right?

She's the Scarletter, right? And I immediately, in my mind, right, as 11 year old said, my sister's back. So for really close to a decade.

And a half, she didn't apologize. Sorry, I'm back to that. She did all that and was like, scarlet letter.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. No, like, good for her.

Go Brett.

Go Brett. And go Jenny.

Good job.

Yeah. And it was the moment of, for me shifting to, like, this person, this direction, this belief, everything she did is bad. And I kind of kept that probably consciously a little bit, but mostly subconscious, until I was probably like 27, 28, 29, started doing a lot of healing, a lot of work. And then one of the healers in my life, who was my wife, when we started dating, she was asking me about my life and the people in my life. And I was telling her about my family and my cousins and my aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters. And I'd brought up that their life, their path was bad, right? And she. She asked me, well, why is it bad? And I told her, well, I mean, they're not making any money, they love doing drugs, they drink a lot, they're kind of broke, they're poor, they like to watch movies, they're out of shape. They're not really doing a lot of.

Listening to this podcast, clearly.

No, they're not. And she also said like, okay, well, why is that? I was like, what do you mean, why is that bad? She's like, well, who Told you that was bad. I'm like, everybody? She's like, who's everybody? Right. I had to keep doing this. And ultimately, what I found out is some person's version of the world allowed me to paint my family as bad.

Ooh.

And she said, well, how much you love your family, is there love there? Is it unconditional? I was like, no. Right. It's not unconditional. I don't unconditionally love my family. And so she said, well, if you don't love them unconditionally, why should they love you unconditionally? And that was. Some big shifts started happening. So I started viewing my sister and her actions. Not as good or not as bad as actions, as simple choices that had no negative or positive. They were just choices and decisions that people were making. For me not to judge her and just fully accept her for who she is is unconditional love.

Dang.

And as I started doing that, more and more, my sister's relationship with myself, me and her, we healed. And then ultimately, my mother healed. Right. Which is why she's no longer a part of the witness organization. Right. I truly, fully believe that my shifting was strong enough to pull her out so that she no longer had these beliefs.

What did you do?

Yeah, what? I.

Did you, like, call her and be like, hey, I don't think of you as bad anymore? Or did you just start subconsciously doing it? And weirdly, the relationship healed. Like, what was the action?

Great question. So, yes, but one of the main actions was I would envision conversations with my sister and. Or my mom, and I would. This is probably like 9 o', clock, 8 o' clock at night. I would go into a meditative state. You know, the whole sit down, do the thing. And in my mind, I would imagine having a conversation with them.

Nice.

Talking to them metaphysically. Right. Just in my mind, the version of what they look like. And I would have long, in depth conversations with them for what felt like 30, 40, 50, 60 minutes, but I would do this nightly. I did this for probably about a year, and one of them was on the island. That was one of the times I truly decided to forgive my mom.

I remember that. Yeah.

Yeah. And, you know, we've talked about that in this podcast, which is you write down all the bad things that someone did to you, and then you write down all the good things. And when I realize, Right.

That you wouldn't have. That you wouldn't have had you never, ever interacted with them.

Yeah. And if I'm like, okay, well, If I never interact with my mom, I don't have a lot.

Right. You wouldn't have a life, including my life. Right, right. And is that enough?

It was. It was enough. And so it was on the island, I fully, fully, fully decided just. Just to heal the relationship with my mom. So after leaving there, I went through these meditative practices and again, just going through all the jud that I place on her. Sure, she placed some on me, but I placed some on her. All the lies that I told her as a child so that she wouldn't catch me doing whatever I was doing. Right. Just forgiving myself for those actions and forgiving her for those actions and truly doing. These meditative practices that I can lead any of the listeners through, they're all very easy. In fact, they're free on YouTube. It's like you can go through tons of these practices. Listening, learning, understanding, and then allowing that energy is within you, the subconscious energy to shift. And I mean, it totally transformed our relationship.

That's so cool.

100%. So now my mom and sister are besties. They hang out every week all the time. Yeah, they're always hanging out.

Beautiful.

My mom is about to sell her house and she wants to start flipping houses.

Yeah.

And they're going to start flipping houses and they're reading books and they're eating better and they're eating cleaner and they, they want to start stepping into wealth. And my sister has like $7,000 in her Robinhood account, so. Started from zero a year and a half ago. Yeah, she's rich, she's awesome. It's so cool. So she's getting into this process and this progress and it has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with. I decided to your point to not see good or bad, but to simply see love and to work on healing myself and my connection with my family members.

Love that. That's really cool. I've been learning a lot lately about.

You know, how do you actually.

Basically, I'm trying to explain it. It's hard. It's embody the feeling of the wish fulfilled. I've been obsessed with really understanding how does faith work, because I'm not a woo woo person. But faith can come off as woo woo. You know, it's believing in that which is not seen. And your body, because you're trapped in this thing, will tell you what you really do believe through physical feelings. So if you're feeling anxiety, it's telling you there's something that's worrying you. Like there's something off inside so you can go back and search the thought pattern. Where is my mind off that's releasing this emotion in my body? If I'm sad, if I'm really happy, how do I. Let's say you're struggling with finances and you keep struggling with finances. Instead of doing what the survival instinct is, which is focus on the lack. And how do you actually feel, seriously, in your body, what it feels like to have and be abundant when every bill is owed and every bank account is empty. How do you actually go from that and not be a complete psycho? Cause if your brain is telling you you're a liar, you're going to get kicked out of the village. You are delusional if you're trying to believe something that isn't there, but that is faith. And if you truly do have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains and you can shift your life. And so I've been in a force state, I would definitely say for many years, of like, forcing things to work, push, push, push, push. But I'm trying to move into a flow state, but also knowing that faith without works is dead. So how do you do the works from a flow state? And I do. I am watching miracles happen in my life. If I can do what you said, which is sit there and control your mind, it's the only thing you can control in your life. Everybody write that down. The only thing you can control in your whole life is your own mind, nothing else. That's it. But your mind makes all these other things happen weirdly, the gravitational pull based on blah, blah, blah, it just happens. So how can I get past these own negative thoughts of your delusional psycho? Because you're believing something that isn't reality enough to make it my reality correct. And that is feeling your way into it. I think there's a book called Feeling is the Secret or something like that. And so there's so many ways. But if I could give you guys another top takeaway for the year, it's looking at how you're feeling, identifying those thoughts, and visualizing, just like Newsom said, over and over again, the way you want to feel about people, the way you would like to be loved. And instead of just noticing everything wrong, your husband or wife does. They're not loving me the way I want to be loved. Like, how do you start speaking life over your relationship and just being the best you that would attract that best out of that? Like, there's just a lot you can do with your mind and know that your feelings are Your sign that you may or may not be on the track that you want to be, but it start taking control of those things so that you can live an elevated life. I really do.

Believe in my head you can have this miracle filled, happy, fun, joyous, abundant life. And that is a direct conflicting belief of what I grew up with, which is life is gonna be so hard if you do God's work. The enemy's gonna attack you and destroy you all the time.

I still don't know how to get past that one. I don't know how you're working. I really am trying to work on it because these are some deep rooted beliefs. And if I don't want that to be my life. Because we are having amazing AM breakthroughs and bringing light into the darkness and eliminating these things. But every time we.

Whoa.

You know, just little, like just a jabbing, a stabbing, the heart come back like, it's just. You're almost like. Every time I leave one of my own events on the island, I know it's coming. And so I'm like, how am I not? How do you prepare for it but not attract it? And so it's just something I'm currently working towards. I know the answer, but it takes.

Time to embody it.

To embody it. And I'm really trying to like, work this into my conscious, my subconscious. And hearing stories like this increases your faith. So I want you guys, if you're hearing this, to share these stories of faith on how you're doing it. Yeah, share it in the comments. Message us on how have you hacked into your brain to control your subconscious to attract this beautiful life, these beautiful relationships, the healing from the past? No matter how hard it was, if it's somebody you want in your life. There's people who hurt me in the past. I've forgiven them, but they are not welcome into my future. You don't have to welcome people back into your future as part of your forgiveness.

Just forgive the haters. Huh?

That's a big awakening. People have not realized. It's like just because.

You forgave them does not mean they have to be part of your future.

Correct.

Move on. There's more people available in your world.

So true.

So, all right. We want to hear your. We want to hear from you. How are you doing this? We are open books. We're constantly learning. Who are you learning from? What are you reading? How can we be increasing the faith in our own life to have these beautiful lives so we can give these beautiful lives to more people? Speaking of unconditional love. In the next episode we're going to be defining our marriage type and some pro tips on how to make that marriage type work. See you in the next episode.

Brittany, Faith Turner and myself, we have a keynote presentation every year, the event that will always sell out and always has sold out. So you need to make sure you sign up as quickly as you hear about it. But the Abundance Summit, which has and will happen every year is where Brittany and myself dive deep. It's not only the challenges and the fears and limitations that are holding you back and holding us back, but the opportunities for investing, for growth, for money, for prosperity, for rich and wealthiness beyond your current imagination. Every single year at the Aerial bvi we want to make sure we see you there. Go to broke to a w o k e broketoook.com and find the link to sign up for the next Abundance Summit on the Aerial BVI.