EP 578: The Truth Will Set You Free

The purpose of this show the purpose of this show is to guide you to realign with habits that get you to live the life you've always dreamed of. This, this is the habit based lifestyle podcast with Jesse Jewel. This is the habit based lifestyle where you can access your full potential right now. Finally break free from destructive habits that dream life. If you want it, you can.

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This is where you transform your health, mind, business and relationships or do nothing and keep your life the way it is. But if you're ready for change, you're in the right place. This is where you're going to learn how to live a habit based lifestyle. You are tuning in to the habit based lifestyle podcast with your host, Jesse. You. This is the habit based lifestyle. Let's go.

All right, all right, all right. Welcome to the habit based lifestyle podcast. I'm your host, Jesse Yule. Today we're going to be talking about the truth setting you free. So today's episode is going to be specifically about something that had happened with a client. And I thought it was really important to bring up because I think sometimes we can get kind of caught up into, hey, every little situation, every scenario ends up, you know, being great. We hear about all these things. We always hear about, you know, how much money people make and, and things like that. And we kind of give off the perception at times that things don't go wrong. But in this specific case, they did. And I want to kind of break this down into a couple different things. So number one, if you're listening to this, you know, maybe you are, you're a health professional, maybe you have a coaching program, maybe you're an entrepreneur or maybe you're just someone who likes to listen to this episode. I want to kind of break this down because I think it's important that we look at. One of the biggest reasons why I see people not be successful in business, number one, is because they are out of alignment, they are out of integrity with what it is they're actually selling or doing. Now, in this specific case, I had a gentleman come to me and was like, hey, I really want to, you know, learn how to get leads for my coaching business. I really want to grow this business, you know, to six figures. And as we started kind of talking about it, I was like, okay, well who are you leading? You know, we started really work on his avatar and you know, he's like, hey, I'm. I want to teach single Christian men how to kind of prepare for their marriage and prepare to get married to their future wife and so as we kind of worked on this a little bit, I had some ideas on, you know, definitely ways that we can go after the ideal client. But we kind of ran through some different scenarios. But here was the thing that I began to find out is like, well, how long have you been married? Well, I've been married for four years. Okay, what are the things that you've done in your lifetime to kind of prepare you for this? And this is someone who, you know, wants to coach and has created a coaching program. Came from a coaching program, specifically on how to do this. Also has a background in ministry, you know, know, and has a. Even goes to church today. And so as I sat there and kind of thought about this, I'm like, hey, here's some things that you could really think about with your avatar. But as I got to talk to this gentleman more and more, I kind of began to. To maybe see some signs, but I was okay with that. Hey, there was, like, some mistakes that, that. That were being made, and that's. That's kind of normal for anybody that would come into a coaching program. This person had never signed up a client, never even had anybody go through his program for free. So it was really kind of coming in with a clean slate. Now, with that being said, we had a conversation, and the conversation went a little something like this. Hey, I. I introduced, hey, here's our program, here's our pricing. And they're like, hey, you know, I really need to talk to my wife about this. I really need to, you know, make sure she's on board. And I'm like, yeah, cool, you know, but before you do that, like, tell me how you plan on approaching the situation. And as we kind of went through this, one of the things that I began to recognize it was more like asking the wife permission if he could actually move forward with the coaching. And I was like, well, I'm pretty sure your wife's probably going to say no if you frame it that way. So why don't we back up and why don't we say it a little bit differently and just say, hey, you know, I really want to do this coaching program. Here's why. You know, I've created a coaching program, but the. One of the biggest troubles I'm having is getting new clients. And this is really going to help me do that. Based off how I've shown up in some other programs, though, I totally understand if you. You don't support me, but that's really what I would like. And I think this would really benefit my Business. So that was a conversation we had. A few days went by, and this gentleman reached back out to me and he's like, hey, my wife's all in. And I even kind of went back and was like, hey, how did it go? And they. They came back and said, well, it went better than I thought, you know, And I was kind of like, oh, okay, well, tell me more about it. And he kind of, you know, went more in depth in it. But anyways, we got started in our program. We got started with coaching, and all of a sudden, couple weeks goes by, and I kind of notice some sporadic, just kind of on and off, showing up, not showing up, kind of like, hey, you know, it's. It's this time of day. One of the things that we have people do in our program is post daily and kind of started to see this pattern of not always posting on time, late in the afternoon, kind of making up reasons why. A couple weeks goes by, and all of a sudden I get a text and it's like, hey, my wife found out that I paid for your program and paid X amount of thousands of dollars. And out of that, she's upset because of the way that you told me to approach a situation. And, you know, basically you gave me bad advice, and I got bad fruit from it. And she found out that I actually bought into the program, and I was like, well, wait a minute. Number one, my advice was, you talk to your wife. And number two, we talked about how you talk to your wife. And what had ended up happening is this person never even ended up talking to their wife. Just went ahead and did it and then said that that was what I told him to do. And I was like, well, hey, that's bad advice. I would never give anybody advice like that. Number one, in all the people I've coached. And then number two, I definitely didn't say that. And we kind of went back and forth. They said, I did, I said, I didn't. I ended up having a text that basically was like, hey, I talked to my wife. I'm all in. And so as I showed that a few days later, it kind of became apparent that this person was out of integrity. And as we kind of went farther and farther down, I began to recognize that this person who I had done business with was lying about talking to their wife, was just being caught in several lies. And. And. And I kind of thought about this for a few days. I was pretty upset about it. But there's things that we do. So when we're doing a coaching program, A lot of times in today's day and age, what I see a lot of times is people are learning stuff. They're not actually living it. And so when they go to lead, they usually end up being out of alignment. They end up not being in integrity, and so they have a very hard time. Because, you know, when we go to coach, when we go to lead, what ends up happening is all those lies or all these things that we're out of integrity with or out of alignment with begin to surface, and then we start getting stuck. So this person lied to his wife, and all of a sudden, now we have a big problem that he didn't tell his wife the truth. She obviously thinks I did it. You know, I was accused of manipulating and. And maybe giving it bad advice, which I did not give and which I would never give that advice. And the good thing is, is, like, I've worked with thousands of other men, and so I know the advice that I would give a man in that situation, and it's exactly what I said. And so I. It was very clear to me that it wasn't that I gave bad advice. It wasn't that I. I wasn't being honest. It was that this person wasn't. And there's a saying in the Bible that says the truth sets you free. The difference is, is. Is. You know, I know the truth that I said because I don't. I don't have to remember the truth. You have to remember the lies you tell. And. And even as we went through this, I started to recognize that this person was out of integrity. And it's like, hey, here it is. You're leading other young men. You want to lead other young men to coach other men, but you can't be honest with your wife. And not only that, but you're trying to lead them into finding their significant other. But it's all based off of you can't even have a simple conversation with your wife. And as I began to sit there and understand this, I began to recognize that no matter what I did, no matter what marketing, that I would teach this person, that I would be blamed for the lack of results that this person was going to get. And so as I. As I began to think about this, I. I prayed about it. God said, hey, give this person a chance. I give him a per. I gave the person a chance. They came clean, told me, hey, I lied. I wasn't being honest. And then they came back a couple days later and was like, hey, I. I want a refund. And I was like, look, you don't get refunds for lying. That's on you. You're a grown man. I'm not going to deal with this. But I also started to recognize that no matter what I did with this person, that if their whole business was based around a lie, that their whole business was based around them not being an integrity, I was the one that was going to get blamed for this. And so, you know, I kind of had a. A hard conversation and, and basically I was like, hey, I need to let this guy go, because no matter what I do, it's out of integrity, and I'm not going to have that in my program. And so I let this person go, refunded their money and moved on. But what I want to talk about is if you're out of integrity with your business, if you're out of integrity with an offer that you have, that's coaching, no amount of marketing is going to help you with that. And we talk a lot on, you know, my podcast. We have a lot of people that come on here with case studies, results that they've gotten. But I want to give you the other side of it, that if you're not in integrity with what you offer, what you sell, if you are lying, all those things will be brought up when you go to move forward, when you go to grow your business. And I always think of it this way, for, for a two, two to three year period, I was in a program called Wake Up Warrior. They taught this thing called the Code. And, and it was really like telling the truth. Before you could learn to tell the truth, you had to do one thing. And this is where a lot of people, I think, miss out on this. It's like, you know, the, the code was like, real, be real, which was like, tell the truth. You know, be raw, which is like, get raw, which was like, you know, bring out the emotions, stay relevant, which is like, hey, staying focused on the story. And then like, what is the results? But what happens a lot of times is people actually think they're telling the truth because they haven't stopped lying first. And, and as I was introduced to this concept back in, like, 2014, I began to understand that, hey, there's a lot of people that think they tell the truth, but the problem is, is they're not free. And they're not free because they haven't stopped lying. And stop lying comes before the truth. And, and so when you think about this is like, a lot of people want freedom in their life, but they don't want to have to tell the truth, to get it. And before they tell the truth, to get it, they have to actually stop lying about the things that are going on in them, in their life and all around them. Because at the end of the day, I can't lead at the level that I haven't lived. Which means that if I'm walking around with a bunch of lies, I'm out of integrity. I'm not going to be able to lead from that place no matter how much I want to, no matter how great my program is, no matter any of those things. And so first I have to stop lying before I can lead anybody else in the truth. And so over 20, 15, 2016, 17, 18 and part of 19, my number one job in that program was, is when guys would come in, I would basically have to run them through a 30 day lead up. And you know, some of the things that we worked on were like, hey, what's the biggest lie you're telling yourself? You're telling others, you're telling God, you're telling your family, you're telling your wives. I had to literally go through every guy that came through that program and decide whether or not they were being truthful or they were telling a lie about the lies they were telling. And then I had to tell them, hey, like, you're not being honest right now, man. Like, you have to do this over, you have to do it again because you're not being honest. I can tell. And so my job literally was with thousands of men going through these questions. And so when someone would present me something that I felt like was out of integrity, I basically was able to interrogate these guys for a four year period and we interrogated them on the truth and the lies. And so I felt like during that period of time it allowed me to really understand men and really understand where men lied, where, when they told the truth. And it helped me developed, you know, something inside of me to where I could really have that level of discernment, to where I knew in my spirit when someone was being honest with me and when there are, when they weren't. And so even to this day I can, I have a very strong level of discernment because I've been trained in it. And not only that, I can feel it in, inside of myself when I feel like somebody's not being honest with me. In fact, this probably goes way back beyond that. But, but I will say this, this is one of the gifts that I've got and it was one of the things that I was trained on for thousands of hours. It wasn't like I just woke up one day and got it. It was. I was trained on thousands of hours of doing this. And so I can detect it. And this is one of the inside things that I look at when I look at a business is like, hey, is this business in alignment with the person, the program, the service that they offer, or are they out of integrity? If they're out of integrity, I'm always going to give them a chance to correct it. But if they don't correct it, then we usually have to go to level two, which is like, hey, here's. Here's what's. Here's what I'm seeing. Here's what's going on in your business. Like, how do we move forward? How do we work on this if you're not willing to correct these things? Because there's no amount of marketing I can teach you, there's no amount of sales I can teach you if everything's based on a lie and you're out of integrity with it. And so as. As I'm talking to you about this today and as I'm walking you through it, I began to recognize that. And this hasn't happened very often. It probably happens three or four times a year, and I guess this is the first time for 2024. But I began to see this. And you know what's crazy is how much we can give people the benefit of the doubt. Being in. Being in ministry, being in, you know, going to church, all these things. We can begin to give people the benefit of the doubt. But the feeling is the same with every guy that this happens to. My. My spirit begins to kind of like, I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. It just becomes kind of rattled. And I began to recognize it, I began to see it, I began to feel it, and I just can't let it go away. And so, you know, if you guys are listening to this, it's like, hey, what inside of myself am I not being truthful with when it comes to my business? Because, you know, a lot of times, the reason why we're not hitting numbers, maybe especially in a health business, I. I have conversations with guys with clients all the time where I was like, look, are you in integrity with what you're selling to other people? And they're like, well, yeah, of course I am. I went to school and I was like, no. Are you at your goal weight? Are you within, you know, 5 to 10 pounds of your ideal weight? And if they're not I have that truthful conversation with them because I know this, that when they get, when they start working towards improving themselves. And this isn't a self development conversation, this is a conversation of like, hey, are you actually in integrity with what you're selling? Because if you're selling health and you're not healthy yourself physically and that's what you're selling, you're out of integrity with your offer. And so your biggest problem is not that you need more leads, you need more clients, science. Your biggest problem is you're telling people all day long that they need to be healthy, they need to do all these things, yet you yourself are not healthy. And that's the bigger issue. And once you begin to do that, then you will see your business start to grow on a physical level. Like you're going to see it grow on a financial level, but you're also going to be able to see it grow on a, on a spiritual level, which means that other people are going to start coming into your business because you're in alignment with what you're actually doing. And I, I've watched this in my own businesses before where for me as a trainer for a long time, you know, I chewed tobacco and here I am promoting health, telling people, hey, you need to get healthy, you need to eat good. But here I am, you know, chewing tobacco. Once I, I quit, once I let go of that, it really allowed me to even step into my business even more. And I, I really think it was one of the things that helped me take my business from, you know, a little over a million dollars a year to almost $2 million a year. And then not only that, it allowed me to kind of step into my own health even more and just be that much more convicted in it. Because I not only had beat an addiction that I had for 26 years, but now everything that came out of my mouth, I could stand by and I could say like, listen, I know without a doubt I'm telling, you know, I'm telling the truth and the truth is setting me free. And there's nothing that somebody can say where it's like, hey, you know, I have a beer belly and yet I'm telling you to get healthy. So in this, make sure that you guys, if you're listening to this, you're a health professional, you're a coach, you're a business owner. Like, make sure that you're in integrity with what you're offering. Because it may not have anything to do with marketing. It probably does. But remember, you're the person representing the marketing, you're the person representing the business. If you're out of alignment, people feel that. People notice that and that affects your business more than anything. So guys, today I want to kind of COVID this again. Number one, the truth is always going to set you free in business. So if you feel stuck, it may be because there's a lie you're telling yourself, you're telling others, you may be even telling your spouse. If you really want to truly be successful in business, number one, be in integrity with what you offer. Live you know, what you're actually leading people in doing and then have some type of code in your business where it's like, hey, if people aren't willing to be honest and tell the truth, I always give them a chance to do it. But if they're not going to from there, there's no amount of help you can help them with. If they can't be honest with themselves, with others, especially, you know, if they can't be honest with their wives, their husbands, they're definitely not going to be honest with you. And so you have to learn to let people go. Regardless. If you guys have any questions on how we can help you and your business, you get in alignment and not only that, help you develop the skillset, mindset and habits that'll help you grow your business by 10, 20, 30k a month, simply just reach out to me Jesse habitbase lifestyle.com you can also go to the Show Notes and you can find our Facebook group Habit Based Lifestyle and Business Secrets. If you have any questions on this specific episode, feel free to reach out to me through email. Until next episode, have a great day.

The Purpose of this show the purpose of this show is to guide you to realign with habits that get you to live the life you've always dreamed of. This this is the Habit Based Lifestyle Podcast with Jesse.