EP 618: Discover the Power of Trauma Healing: A Conversation with Tiffany Clevenger

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Welcome back to the Habit Based lifestyle Podcast. I'm your host, Jesse Yule. Today I got a very special guest, Tiffany Clevenger. She is the creator of the Cycle breakers and she's a trauma hypnotist. Tiffany, I want to welcome you to the show today.

Thanks for having me, Jesse. I'm excited to be here.

Yeah. So tell me, tell me a little bit about, you know, what is the, what is a trauma hypnotist? Exactly. And then we can kind of talk a little bit about the Cycle breakers and. And a little bit about your story too.

Yeah, absolutely. So a trauma hypnotist is someone that people come to after they've been in therapy for years and they've noticed not a shift happening in their life. Right. They feel better after like a couple talk therapy sessions, but nothing permanently changes. Or for the people who just want to skip that, like talking about their feelings but nothing happening and they want to get to the root cause then they come to me. So what we do is we work with the nervous system and the subconscious mind, which is where trauma gets rooted when it happens and we make the shift from that space. So it's like going out to weed the garden. Talk therapy is like cutting the root of the weed or the stem of the weed where it meets the soil.

Right.

The garden looks pretty for a day or two, but the root is still there. So the plant's coming back. Whereas we go in, we dig it out from the root so that you feel profound shifts and transformations in your life that you might not have even thought was possible.

Okay, cool. So let's talk a little bit about, like, where did you kind of get started with all of this and how did you, you know, basically get to where you are today?

Yeah, so I never had any plan of ending up in this space. I was a sports rehab therapist, so an athletic therapist and a strength and conditioning coach.

Okay.

In Australia, we. I owned strength and conditioning facilities. That was, like, my goal. I remember saying to people in college, like, I can't remember doing. I can't imagine doing anything different with my life. So that's where I was. And then while I was living in Australia, my own life broke down. I'd been dating somebody for three years, found out I was pregnant, and a couple hours later found out that he had a girlfriend in another state. He was a compulsive liar. Most of what he had told me over our three years together was a complete lie. And my entire life fell apart. I was also paying for most of our stuff because I. I made more than him. Again, another lie that I found out. But I was paying the majority of our bills, so I didn't even have, like, the money to fly back to see my family. Um, and so I was so embarrassed about the infidelity that I didn't tell anybody I was pregnant. So a couple weeks later, I ended up having a miscarriage. And I went through that completely alone. It brought me. It literally brought me to my knees, to the point where I was moments away from committing suicide. I definitely feel like God intervened and was like, I'm not done with you yet. And so I started my healing journey and I started with talk therapy. I don't want to hate on talk therapy. Um, I think it's really good to help you logically understand a, that you have trauma. Um, I had been abused by my stepmom growing up, but up until I went to talk therapy, I didn't see it as abuse.

Right.

So that talk therapy helped me in that way, but it didn't really shift anything else. So spent thousands of dollars there that I didn't really have. Didn't really get a shift. Uh, you know, started going to the rah Rah motivational events, hiring life coach after life coach, and people just kept telling me, look, you can't change the past, so just focus on the future. And I'm like, cool. So I've been doing that for almost 30 years. And I'm an overachieving, people pleasing perfectionist who just wants to kill herself. Like, I. That's not really a sustainable strategy for me moving forward. And I just randomly one day found NLP and hypnosis, which profoundly changed my life. And, you know, being in the fitness space as well. A lot of what I was doing there was the mindset piece for people and so I realized that if I really wanted to make a difference in people's life, like I had gotten into the fitness industry to do, then I needed to work on the mindset. So that's when I started making the shift that way.

Okay, so, I mean, obviously nlp, I know what that is, but like, maybe to our listeners, like, what is that?

So NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. Most people know who Tony Robbins is. That's what he's also trained in, but it really stands for. So neuro is the brain. It's an understanding of how beliefs are created, how they can be changed, how we perceive and internalize external events and happenings. It's really about the foundation of, like, how the subconscious mind works and how it plays out in everyday life. It's the part of our, of our mind that's really in control of things, the language. So how do the thoughts that we think and the words that we say when we communicate, how did those impact our belief systems? And how are those impacted by our beliefs? How do they kind of co. Mingle? And then how does that ultimately create our programming or our external patterns of behavior, our habits and things like that? So, you know, a lot of people will talk about how it's 30 days to change a habit or 90 days or 21 days, depending on what book you read. But the truth is, is that it takes repetition to create that new neural pathway in the nervous system and the subconscious mind.

Right?

To create a neural pathway that's a reflex, like behavior. So where we automatically get up and go to the gym or we post the content that we need to do in our business, it actually takes 400 repet to get it to be the habit that is like ingrained. Like most people, NLP and hypnosis allow us to speed up that process so that we're not having to do something 400 times and waiting for, you know, however long that's going to take us.

Right.

That habit set in place.

So, okay, so you got into nlp and then when did you add the hypnosis piece? Or was that just part of it? Like if you kind of. NLP by itself is baseline, and then as you keep learning it, does the hypnosis kick in or is all of that taught at the same time?

So my mentor had created a form of like trauma healing hypnosis. So I, over a two and a half year period, I went through all of it together. Like, when I, when I met her, I was like, I just need to be, I need to know everything. That, you know, and initially, again, it wasn't for me to do this as a profession. I was like, this is so profound and healing for me that I need to do like everything that you can take me through for my own healing. And so she kind of ran it as like a joint, heal yourself plus become certified. And I was like, the certifications are a bonus. I don't really care about that.

Right.

But I ended up being like, I'm really good at this. I really love helping people with this, so I'm going to keep doing it. So I was over about a two and a half year period. I did both together.

Okay. And then how long have you been, how long have you been doing it?

So I trained about 10 years ago working with people for free. As I was going through it over those two and a half years just to practice it, I also had another business, so it was more of just a hobby. And then my, my current business, that was all in Australia. I lost everything one other time in Australia, came back to Canada, now live in the US So I started my business in its current form in 2000, end of 2017, beginning of 2008. So, okay, about seven years now.

So what's so. Okay, so now we're in the cycle breakers.

Yeah.

And what, what would you say are kind of like, I think you said you work with business owners, right. Or people that are stuck at a certain income level. What are kind of like the three main things or, or four main things you see people stuck in?

Yeah. So we predominantly work with two different groups of entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurs who are stuck at the six figure mark and we're right around that mark and can't seem to get over that hump. And then people who are transitioning from corporate to their own business, so they've been making six figures. They. But when it comes to like starting their business in the evenings or whatever, they're blocked or they can't charge things like that. So I would say the biggest things that we see that we help people work with, work through are people pleasing. So that shows up as like not being able to charge, not being able to charge what they want to be able to fully, to fully support themselves or when they're bringing on a team, not being able to delegate and like manage their team. So there's like that, oh well, I don't want to be the mean person to like me. It also shows up as like, I don't want to put out content that might be too polarizing for people because then people might not like me Perfectionism is the big one. And then a lot of money blocks. So whether it's like, worthiness around money or not trusting themselves with money, those are the three main areas I would say that we work with.

Okay, so let's. Let's maybe walk through a couple things.

Yeah.

Because, I mean, I know, you know, for me, just helping people with, like, putting content out for their business, it's a big. It's a big thing. Right. And they're always kind of worried about what are people going to think of me, are they going to like me, are they not going to like me? But like, no one really talks about that in the social media space. Right. It's always like, oh, just put up content, you know, but it's like. So like, let's say you, you need to kind of walk through, walk someone through that. Like, how do you, you know, get them over it? Maybe it's not as simple as, like, just day one, but like, maybe what's one or two things you could help that person with?

Yeah. So we take everybody through the. Right. What we call the rise method. So R has two parts to it. First part is recalibrate the nervous system. So the, like, number one thing that people could take away from this episode would be that everything that you have in your life right now is a reflection of where your nervous system feels safe. Because that's your nervous system's job, is to keep you alive by making sure that you're safe. So the amount of money in your bank account is where you feel safe. Right there. 10 people tend to have a ceiling, right. You know, as soon as they get to, say, $10,000 in savings or $10,000 a month or whatever it is, something happens that sabotages that cash flow or the amount of cash that they have. Right. Something breaks down, they go on a shopping spree, something to, like, drain the reserves to come back, or let's say they finally start making the $10,000 a month, then the next month they can't sell anything. Right. So the amount from the amount of money you have in your. In your bank account to the types of clients that you have, the number of clients, your health. So like your physical health, your weight, your appearance, all of that, your relationships, all of that reflects where you feel safe. So if you grew up in a childhood that. Or you had a childhood that was chaotic. Right. For me, I was being abused by my stepmom every other weekend. And then my biological mom had debilitating anxiety, and we had a ton of scarcity. My family, you Know, living paycheck to paycheck was normal for my family. And so when I started making more than enough money to not be paycheck to paycheck, I would find a way to get rid of the money so that I was still paycheck to paycheck. Right. Because that's right. I didn't feel safe having money in the bank.

Right.

So the first thing that we start to do is recalibrate the nervous system. It doesn't matter what's going on for the person, it all starts with creating that baseline nervous system routine.

Okay.

So that we can start to expand what they feel comfortable with. Because all of the, what people don't realize is like all the self sabotage patterns, whether it's procrastination or inconsistency, all of those are actually survival patterns. It's your nervous system saying we're getting too far outside of that comfort zone, I need to come back. And so it's a survival pattern. Right. If we get too far away, I don't know if I'll be able to protect myself. I don't know what could harm me or hurt me. So we need to come back to this place where I feel safe. So we start to regulate the nervous system, allow it to heal, come out of survival mode. A lot of people are addicted to stress. Like their body chemically becomes addicted to stress hormones. In the sports world we call them adrenaline junkies. But in the world it looks like, you know, blowing your business up every other month, starting drama, arguing with people on social media, etc, right. So we want to start to balance those things out. The second part of R is reprogram limiting beliefs. So looking at things like I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough, people will judge me or leave me or they won't like me if I do X, Y and Zed. The eye in the rise method is inner child healing. So when we experience big emotions at young ages, let's say the first time your mom took you to the toy store, you were two, wouldn't buy you the toy that you wanted, you felt anger and you threw a temper tantrum, Right. I don't know about you, but when I was that age it was get up or I'll give you something to cry about. I got sent to my room. But there was never any actually teaching about how emotions, it was all just like suppression techniques. Right. So part of our psyche actually gets stuck at that age. So what then happens is we're in adult bodies, we're running businesses, raising kids, adulting but then we have these inner children, these part of our psyche that are stuck at a younger age, a less developed age. And so we revert back to those in times of stress. So people are trying to run a business with the fear of a one year old.

Got it. Okay.

The sadness of a three year old or the guilt of a seven year old. So we need to heal those parts so that part of the psyche can kind of catch up to where you're at. So everybody's adulting. Right. I always relate it to road rage is not how an adult responds to sitting in traffic. That's the two year old throwing the temper tantrum for not getting what they wanted. So we want to heal those parts. The S is shift your identity. So we. Some identities are given to us and some identities we take on. I had one client who grew up being called the dumb blonde in her family. She is brilliant in what she does. She was approached by Dean Graciosi to do some work within his business. And all she had to do was send a proposal. And it was basically the job was hers and didn't send the proposal.

Just oh, wow.

Sabotage the opportunity. Because a dumb blonde doesn't work for, you know, a seven, eight figure business owner.

Right.

Oh, she sabotaged the opportunity. So that was an identity that we had to heal. There's a lot of people who have like the good girl or good boy identity. So it's like I have to toe the line. I can't step too far out of bounds. I can't be too polarizing, all of those. So we want to shift those identities, let go of the negative parts of them so that they can become who they're supposed to become. The successful business owner, you know, the alpha, whatever they want to be.

Right.

And E is the expansion part. So how do we integrate some lifestyle habits that are going to allow you to continue growing, to continue expanding so that you realize your full potential? So other than the recalibrate the nervous system, we start everybody there. The other parts of the rise method depend on where the person is stuck.

When we need them.

We'll take them through all the steps, but where we start kind of depends on where they're at.

Okay. So I mean, I work with a lot of chiropractors and I feel like they all talk about the nervous system. Yep, you got. It's all about your nervous system. But I don't really ever hear them say, well, here's how you, you know, regulate your nervous system. Or here's something you could do, you know, to help regulate that. Do you have anything you know, practical that you teach, you know, people how to do that?

Yeah. So the easiest, fastest way to regulate your nervous system and there's, there's kind of like steps to it, right? So we create a nervous system routine and I'm happy to give everybody our seven day nervous system reset, which is seven exercises that people can try out. You don't have to do all seven every day, but it's, there's seven there for you to kind of see what you like the best. And these exercises are going to release the pent up energy from your nervous system. So if you've ever watched like, have you ever watched Animal Planet or like any of the safari shows, so you see like the, the lion, the lioness, the cheetah, whatever attack the gazelle, right? And the gazelle just plays dead in an attempt to save its life. So for whatever reason the, the cheetah decides this gazelle meat not good. So they wander off. As soon as the gazelle is sure that it's safe, it stands up and you'll see the gazelle shake, right? And it'll shake for however long. Dogs do this, cats do this. That's how they release the energy, the traumatic energy from their nervous system before they run away. This is why other animals don't have trauma the way that humans do. But our, so the primal part of our brain, our, our reptilian brain wants to do that. But our higher level thinking, our neocortex often overrides it because let's say, you know, you're just held up at gunpoint on in a dark alley and you somehow get away. It's probably not the best idea or you know, people might judge you if you start shaking everywhere, right? So, or if you start deep breathing or crying or whatever. And so we override that and we just end up suppressing it which keeps the energy in our nervous system and that's what creates the impression, the like indents or impressions on the nervous system that create self sabotage pattern. So the seven exercises that we give, we've got three breathing exercises in there. Box breathing is a very popular breathing exercise that people will use for anxiety. That's one of the ones that we share in our seven day nervous system reset. Because your breath is one of the ways that we can like immediately regulate in the moment, right. And then from there as we go through a process with people, we'll also look at regulating the nervous system by offloading the emotional baggage by you know, changing up their diet. If they're eating a lot of processed foods. That's not going to be great for the nervous system either. You know, changing the kind of music they listen to or the TV shows that they watch, getting them out in nature more, looking at their exercise patterns and adding in some exercise if they're not doing any. Right. So there, that's what I mean when there's levels. But the easiest is like breathing movement. So like, you know how when, if you had a really stressful day, you've got that energy pent up in your nervous system and going for a run or going and lifting heavy weights feels good?

Right.

There's two ways that we can regulate in the moment. One is to burn so that like movement, running, heavy lifting, etc, boxing, etc, and then there's the soothing which is like the breathing exercises and some other things, like things like compression on the nervous system. So weighted blankets, tight hugs from other people or to ourself that helps regulate the nervous system as well.

Got it. Okay, cool. So, all right, so you, you work with a lot of people obviously that, you know, have this stuff going on all the time. Like what is, is this, is this mainly caused because of trauma that's happened in somebody's life or like, and they bring it into being a business owner or like what do you see as kind of the common, you know, kind of common theme with business owners?

Yeah. So I mean, when we look at limiting beliefs alone, 95% of our belief systems are installed in the, in the mind between the ages of 0 and 7.

Okay.

Before we even understand what the world's about. And then 60 or more of people's belief systems, if they've done nothing to like consciously change them, are negative.

Okay.

The thing is, is between the ages of 0 and 7, we pick up everything that's being said to us, things that are being said about us, even conversations happening around us. So like I had a lot of money blocks when I started my business that, that kept me hitting the six figure ceiling for a long time. And it was because growing up again, we live paycheck to paycheck. My parents would have friends who we would see often and then they would start making more money at some point. I'm not sure what that looked like, but my parents would stop talking to them and start talking negatively about them. So my parents never said to me, if you have money, you're a bad person.

Right.

But I picked up on the, well, if you make too much money, people are going to talk about you, so it's safer not to make too much money.

Got it. Okay.

Right. So that's part of it. The other part is when people think about trauma, they think. They typically think what are called big T traumas. So like the physical sexual abuse war, things like that. And those absolutely can hold people back. What's more common, though, is what are called little T traumas. And so these are more everyday occurrences or things that are brushed off as every day. They're the things that are looked at as like, well, it didn't kill you, it made you stronger, but it's almost like a death thousand cuts. Right. So one of the most common childhood little T traumas that I see impacting business owners is the parentified child. So where they had to parent their parent in some way, maybe their parent had a physical or a mental disability or condition where they felt like they had to look after them. My mom had debilitating anxiety. So even from a young age, I knew that I had to handle my big emotions. I couldn't take it to her because she wouldn't be able to handle it. And the younger we are, the more we have this belief of like, if my parents are safe, then I'm safe. So I was like, well, I, you know, I can't tell her I'm being abused when I'm with my biological dad. I just have to deal with it myself. I see a lot of people who, you know, maybe their parents drank a lot and so they had to like clean up their parents vomit or make sure that they were on their side so they didn't die, or they had parents who just couldn't adult for them. And so they had to look after their siblings or they had to go and get a job when dad passed away and they became the man of the house. Or, you know, their parents just couldn't handle it. And so they were having to cook for themselves and, you know, look after themselves. They didn't. They didn't get the full childhood experience.

Okay.

To show up a lot for business owners where now they struggle to set boundaries. They feel like it's their job to take care of everybody else. So if they're on a sales call with somebody and somebody's like, I can't really afford that, they're like, okay, well, it's my responsibility to help you figure out how to afford it. Right? And okay, well that's. That's something that you have to figure out to solve. It's like, well, I could do a payment plan that I don't normally do and take on more risk or I Could, you know, rescue you in some way, give you my stuff for free, etc. Etc. So that's probably the most common one that I see showing up. The fear of abandonment and rejection, which can come from childhood as well. Being bullied, parents, leaving parents, not being able to be there for you emotionally. All of those can lead to like fear of abandonment, rejection, humiliation. So that stops people from feeling safe, putting out content and brings up like, that, what if they judge me? What if they don't like me?

So a lot of this is like, how do I feel safe and what, what conditions do I need to create in my external environment so I feel safe internally? That kind of sounds like that's like the common theme, right?

Yeah. Ultimately, I mean, we're not going to do something that could kill us and anything outside of that proverbial comfort zone, then we don't know what could harm us, what could kill us. And so then people will start to self sabotage.

Got it. Okay.

It's about how do we internally create the, the sense of safety. There's the saying one of my mentors said to me a while ago, and it just fits. Is like, it's not. There's the saying, you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Right.

Most people don't live their life in a place of comfort. I know it's called the comfort zone, but it's really more the familiar zone. Right.

Like, right.

It wasn't comfortable for me living paycheck to paycheck. It wasn't com. It's not comfortable for somebody to be 50 pounds overweight or you know, to be, you know, struggling to get clients or having to go out and hunt all the time for new clients to keep the cash flowing. Right. None of that is comfortable. So most people are already comfortable in that space because it's familiar. What we need to be is feel confident and certain in our abilities to navigate uncertainty. And so we have to strip away the pieces of our past that have basically told us that we're not capable or that we're not strong enough, etc. Etc.

Got it. Okay. Yeah. I mean that's, that's, I mean a kind of a common thing I think I see with business owners. And you know, I could have a tendency to either perfectionism or yeah, just like always thinking there's, I got to do, I got to make this better. Right. Or it's got to be perfect before I launch it. I think I've seen you write quite a bit of stuff on there, but like, what would you say to the perfectionist you know, who's like, I can't do this because it's not perfect yet. Like, when you meet, like, a business owner, like, what's the thing that you see in them that you're like, hey, this is what you need to kind of stop and do at that moment.

So for somebody who's a perfectionist, everything kind of comes back to five core childhood wounds. So there's abandonment, rejection, betrayal, humiliation, and injustice, which is like, that it's not fair. So, like, the racism ageism fits in the injustice. So as somebody who was a perfectionist as well, I had a deep humiliation wound where it was like, there were times in my life where I was bullied for not knowing the answer or where I was judged or shamed for getting something wrong. And so, like, off the bat, I would remind people that perfectionism is in the eye of the beholder, right? Like, both go and see a movie and one of us be like, oh, that was perfection. And the other person be like, that was the worst thing ever. Like, we're never going to satisfy everybody, right? Especially don't like themselves, right? In terms of the work, we would figure out what were the moments in your life where you felt. Where you created this pattern of perfectionism where you felt like, you know, maybe you believed that somebody would abandon you if you weren't perfect. Maybe, like me, you heard your parents talking negatively about people who made mistakes or. One thing I see with a lot of entrepreneurs is they've had teachers who bullied them or belittled them or humiliated them for getting an answer wrong in school. And so that kind of drives the perfectionism. So we figure out, like, was it a parent? Was it a sibling? Was it a teacher? Was it a boss? Was it a bully? Like, where in your life were these moments where you created or validated the pattern that you had to be perfect in order to be liked, accepted, safe, safe, etc. So those are the moments that we would look for, and that's use the hypnosis to go back and heal.

And I can, you know, for me, like, I was a pretty big athlete in high school, so it was always, like, had to score a certain amount of touchdowns, you know, and it was like, never enough for my parents or at least my dad. It's like, dude, I scored like four touchdowns. I got like 15 tackles. Like, but you miss, like, you know, three others, right? Yeah, I know that. You know, even, like, I have my son who's now in high school, and I'm like, I catch myself sometimes, like, Doing that. And I'm like, dude, okay, like, you gotta, you gotta do like the opposite of this, you know? So like, I know that kind of comes with us, you know, regardless, but like, it still comes up no matter how much we work on it.

I used to work amateur sports and like minor sports. I worked hockey when I was in Canada. And like the best players on the team, I would just listen to their dads come and get them and they'd be so excited, like, dad, I got a hat trick. And their dad would be like, yeah, but you could have had five goals. You missed those two. Right? So, and I understand, like, I'm not an advocate for participation trophies either. I don't think solves the problem. But what we need to do is we need to focus on the effort first and then the results, right? Because effort leads to results. And what most people who are perfectionists and it came from a sports setting like that, or even grades. Like for me, I got the. I would come home with a 97 on a test in high school, while I basically also had a full time job and I was working with like every student sports team in the school. And I'm winning all these awards and I'd get 97% on a test and my dad would be like, what happened to the other 3%? I was like, like, it was never, I could have gotten 100 and he would have never.

Good enough.

Yeah, like, why didn't you get 110? Right? And so what we have to understand is like, you know, you can, you know, let's say your son plays football. You can focus on like, what do you think you did really well in that game first? And then where do you think you can improve in the future? And that's an exercise that I get people to do with themselves first. Start with, how did I show up for myself today? What actions did I take that moved me towards my goal? And then what are my areas for improvement tomorrow? And even the wording is really specific, right? Not like, where did you mess up? Where did you F up? Blah, blah, blah. But what are my opportunities for growth? What are my opportunities for improvement? But we want to look at, here's what I did first. Because when we start to celebrate the effort, what it does is it gives us a good dopamine hit. And what we know is that dopamine in the brain strengthens the neural pathways to take the same action again. And so that's why scrolling your phone becomes so addicted, so addictive, is because you're constantly getting that hit that makes you want to, to constantly keep scrolling. So if we start celebrating, like even the micro milestones on the way to our goal, then it strengthens the neural pathways to keep taking action so that we take more action tomorrow. Now we're getting that dopamine hit again because we're celebrating all the time. Right. Like me and my husband, we run the business together. We will celebrate a $37 sale just the same as we celebrate a thirty thousand dollar sale. Right. Like both of them get recognized in, in our minds because the actions that led to the $37 sale repeated enough times will lead to the $30,000 sale. So awesome.

Do you, have you read the book Tiny Habits?

I haven't read Tiny Habits, but I read Atomic Habits which apparently came.

I like. Okay, so I like Tiny Habits better because they actually have a thing called the habit recipe. And it, at the end of it it talks about how in order to reinforce a habit, you got to celebrate it. Obviously the ones that we want to keep, right. So if it was like I just got done working out, you know, me doing like a fist pump, clapping my hands for five seconds, reinforces that habit. But they say what gets celebrated gets repeated. But like when people think about habits, they don't really think about celebrating them, you know, but they, they talk about how it, you know, reprograms your mind to want to continue to do that. Kind of like what you're talking about.

Yeah. And then the other thing that I do with people is like what we focus on expands, right? So what most people do is they hone in on the mistakes they made that day. So let's say you've got somebody who's an emotional eater and every time they're feeling stressed or anxious, they go to the fridge and they grab a piece of chocolate. Well, let's say today, four times I went to the fridge and I caught, I caught myself opening the fridge and then I went and did my other action plan, right. I went for a walk, I went and did 10 jumping jacks, whatever, went outside, meditated for a minute, whatever it is. But one time I went to the fridge and I got the piece of chocolate. What most people will do is they'll go, they'll beat themselves up over the one time, right. Fell off the wagon and they'll beat themselves up. But that's bringing their focus there. We have this part of our subconscious mind called the reticular activating system. And it has no capacity for logic. It just says it takes the things that you focus on and says this is what they want more of. So if you're constantly talking about how broke you are, then your reticular activating system just says, they want more broke, here's more broke. Right? They want more scarcity, here's more scarcity. They want to go to the fridge and eat more chocolate. Here's more opportunities for that. So what we want to do is at the end of the day when we're celebrating, like, here's all the ways that I showed up. I call it showing up for your future self, but here's all the ways that I showed up for my goal or whatever, then if we only focus on those and we completely disregard the one time that we fell off the bandwagon, then this is what, you know, the four times is what our reticular activating system is going to say. Oh, they want more of that. Okay, we'll give them. We'll create more opportunity. We'll bring that opportunity into their awareness more often.

That's awesome.

Way to reprogram as well.

Yeah, I quit. So I quit chewing tobacco in 2016. And I quit because I read the book the Power of Habit. And it's like, talks about replacing dopamine with dopamine. So what I did is every time I crave to chew, I would, I was like, I wonder if I could just do 20 push ups and it would curb the craving. And so I started, I think my first, like week, it was like 4 or 500 push ups a day. And I was like, man, what? I'm like, what the heck? By the second week I dropped down to like 300. And then by the end of the second week, I'm like, why am I craving chew? And so it always had to do with having a conversation with somebody else that maybe triggered me or, or frustrated me. And I started to kind of recognize that I was almost like lying in between every time I wanted to chew. I started to associate it with lying to myself about how I felt in the moment. And so after like three weeks, I started to kind of recognize, like, okay, well, so like, my brain doesn't really know the difference between dopamine with chew or dopamine with exercise. It just wants dopamine. And I, I kind of like reverse engineered my own, like, addiction out of that. And I'm like, oh, I quit chewing by doing push ups. But it wasn't the push ups that I needed. It was the hit of dopamine. And then once I kind of realized that obviously chewing and lying are not very attractive, you know, that. And Exercise obviously is, but it just helped me associate that when I create crave that there was something more, you know, triggering with my nervous system. So it's like the fact that you're talking about dopamine. I mean, I think exercise, you know, obviously there's laughing and some of those things, but I mean, it's really the only dopamine we can get that's healthy. While we have so much stuff right now, like social media, you know, alcohol, drugs, all these other things that are like terrible for us. But just how our, our, our nervous system doesn't know what the difference in dopamine is. It just knows it needs it.

Yeah, yeah. There's a really great book called the Molecule of More, which is all about dopamine and there's like different dopamine pathways. One is the here and now pathway, which is what gives us like that instant gratification hit.

Right.

The long term hit of dopamine, which comes more from like the gratitude practices and like the celebrating the milestones. It was a really interesting book. So nice.

That's awesome. All right, so tell me. All right, so you know, I got a lot of business owners but like, tell, tell, tell some of the business owners, like how I, who I work with, like what, how they get a hold of you, how they, you know, find out more about your program.

Yeah, so the, if you want the seven day nervous system reset, you can go to resetmystem.com forward slash reset. There's going to be those seven exercises you can check out that'll also link you to our community where we do free workshops every week. You know, we have a ton of free content in there that you can check out at your own pace and, and see what we do. If you look up Tiffany Clevenger on any social media platform, you'll find me. We're most active on Facebook and Tick Tock, but you can find us anywhere and then just shoot me a message there.

Okay, cool. If you guys are listening to the show, you can obviously go into the show notes and it'll have a direct link to reset my system.com/forward/reset. And you can either click on that or you can go direct link to Tiffany. Any last words for that entrepreneur out there who might be, you know, struggling with some of the things we talked about?

Yeah, the, the biggest thing that I would leave people with is what helps you get to your goal faster, is making your nervous system feel safe with that goal. So healing the nervous system, reprogramming the limiting beliefs that are in the way between you and your goal. So maybe you want more money, but you're worried about people judging you or thinking you're greedy. When we clear those up, your nervous system is going to feel safer to get there, so you end up getting there faster. Self sabotage will clear itself up on its own. You like, you can use willpower, but that's like the hard button right there's your way. And if you need willpower to get there the first time, it's just gonna continually get harder and you're going to need more and more willpower, which we only have so much of every single day. So the fastest way, the easy button, is to regulate the nervous system, reprogram the mind and you'll get there a lot faster.

Awesome. Well, hey, thank you so much for being on today. I got, I mean, I got a ton from this and I know a lot of people in my network that I work with personally struggle with a lot of these things because I feel like we talk about them all the time. But thanks so much for being on on the show today.

Thanks for having me.

Yeah. So if you guys are looking to connect with a group of like minded people, you can definitely go into the show notes and go go to our free Facebook group, Habit based lifestyle and business secrets. Again, if you guys want to connect with Tiffany, I know a lot of the things she talked about today are very common in the business world, but she's a pro at helping people and, and basically she's, she's created the cycle breakers for a reason. So if you guys have any questions or have an episode you want to hear, you can always reach out to me, Jesse at Habit Based Lifestyle. Until next episode, have a great day.

The purpose of this show the purpose of this show is to guide you to realign with habits that get you to live the life you've always dreamed of.

This.

This is the habit based lifestyle podcast with Jesse Jewel. This is the habit based lifestyle where you can access your full potential right now. Finally break free from destructive habits. That dream life, if you want it, you can have it. Is this what where you transform your health, mind, business and relationships or do nothing and keep your life the way it is? But if you're ready for change, you're in the right place. This is where you're going to learn how to live a habit based lifestyle. You are tuning in to the habit based lifestyle podcast with your host, Jesse. You. This is the habit based lifestyle. Let's go.